You honestly thought I was going to teach you how to break down a chicken and not show you how to cook it? C'mon.

The thing about cooking chicken is that they can be a bit...plain to eat without a side of deliciousness. And what better side for a delicious chicken dinner than a salad and sauce?

That's right. Everything that we have learned so far is going to be put to the test here. We are going to make delicious chicken dinners! Or lunches. Hell, even breakfast. It's the end of the world, I ain't gonna judge. You do you, boo.

We are going to start small and go up in difficulty. Remember that fowl has to be cooked until it achieves an internal temperature of 74°C/165°F so it leaves the DANGER ZONE! If you fond have a thermometer, then make sure to cut into it to make sure there isn't any pink part. All we want is some white and brown goodness.

Time to make your first wasteland lunch.

CORDON BLEU WITH AURORA SAUCE AND POTATO SALAD.

Legend has it that this meal was created by the personal cook of Henri III of France, and it was so good and innovative that the cook was inducted to the highest order of knights in France, L'Ordes des Chevaliers du Saint-Esprit, whose symbol was a blue ribbon. Blue ribbon in French is Cordon Bleue. Words are funny like that.

For this, we are going to take a supreme, and do something called butterfly. To butterfly is to open the supreme in half, like a book. Or a butterfly. It is super easy, and I'm gonna run you through the basics so you can do it too.

To butterfly a chicken supreme, first, get a sharp, thin knife. Your chef knife will work, but the l boning knife will be the best. Then place your hand on top of the boneless, skinless chicken supreme, slice horizontally into the chicken by the thick part, dividing it half. Stop about a half-inch from the opposite side. When done, you should be able to open up the chicken like a book so it lies flat. You should have a cute heart-shaped chicken.

Now, without further ado...

Mise en place:

For the Aurora Sauce:

- 1/2 Cup Chicken Veloute.

- 1 tablespoon Tomato Puree.

- 1 Tablespoon Butter.

- Salt and pepper to taste.

For the salad:

- 100 gr/6 oz Potato in 1 inch thick wedges, boiled until soft.

- 20 gr/1 oz Bellpepper, in Brunoise.

- 20 gr/1 oz Onion, in Brunoise.

- 1 tablespoon Cilantro, finely chopped.

- Salt and Pepper to taste.

For the dressing:

- 45 gr/2 oz Mayonnaise.

- 1 teaspoon lemon juice for zest.

- Salt and Pepper to taste.

For the Cordon Bleu:

- 1 Chicken Supreme, Butterflied.

- 1 slice of Ham.

- 1 slice of Cheese. Preferably yellow and fatty, like cheddar.

- 1 egg.

- Necessary amounts of flour, bread crumbs.

- Enough oil to will a small pot to cover the chicken.

- Salt and pepper to taste.

A note on frying: To properly fry anything, you need to have enough oil to cover the whole thing you want to fry. It might seem counter-intuitive, but the less oil you use while frying, the more greasy your food will be. Also, your food won't be cooked evenly. Remember that oil is a type of convection cooking.

The oil you use will also determine the temperature and taste of the frying. Some oils are neutral and won't add any flavors, while some will not add, like olive oil.

Lastly, every oil has a smoking point, meaning that different oils have different burning points. Yes, oil can burn. If you ever see oil smoking, it means that you have burned it. It is now useless. You just burned a perfectly useful oil. It will now add a burned taste, won't heat properly, and will make everything worse.

Below is a handy chart on different oils, their burning point, and whether they are neutral or not. As you can see, butter has a very low smoking point, which is why it should never be used for frying, you psycho.

Preparing the sauce:

1. Heat the Veloute in a saucepan at low heat. (If it's too thick, you can add water or stock to soften it)

2. Add the tomato pure and integrate.

3. When you're done, and the sauce has reached the desired thickness, add the butter and stir. The butter will give it a shine and suppleness.

4. Taste and rectify with salt and pepper if needed.

Preparing the salad:

1. Mix all the vegetables in a bowl.

2. Add the Mayonnaise and the lemon juice.

3. Mix together. Taste, and rectify with salt and pepper if needed.

Preparing the Cordon Bleu:

1. Open the supreme on a cutting board, salt and pepper both sides.

2. Stuff the center with ham and cheese, close it like a book, and with the help of a few toothpicks, keep it closed.

3. Crack the egg on a bowl, add a tablespoon of water or milk, and whisk until everything is combined. Add the flour in a different bowl, add some salt and pepper.  to taste, and whisk together. In a different bowl, add breadcrumbs. With these three bowls, we are going to bread the chicken.

Breading 101: to make any breading, we need a dry ingredient and a wet ingredient. You can use pretty much anything you want, from old Doritos, to water, to dirt, if you're into that kind of stuff. But the simplest one is flour + eggs + breadcrumbs.

First, we dip the chicken in the flour, making sure to cover every nook and cranny. This will make the eggs stick to the chicken, and eggs cling to the flour.

Second, dip the chicken into the egg, making sure to bather it entirely.

Third, immediately toss the chicken above the breadcrumbs. Cover it entirely with breadcrumbs, pressing down to make sure the breadcrumbs cling to it.

You can repeat step two and third to make a thicker breading.

As a recommendation, use one hand to dip the chicken into the eggs and a different hand to coat them in flour and breadcrumbs. If not, you're going to get clumps on your hands. And I assure you that reloading a clip is going to be hard with clumps of four on your fingertips. Be prepared! Dry hand, wet hand!

4. Heat up the oil to 150°C/350°F in a small pan, enough to cover the chicken. When it is hot enough, place the chicken in until brown. If you can't measure the heat, a good technique is to toss a clump of flour into the oil. If it starts bubbling, it's ready. If not heat more. If it starts to smoke, then you just burned the whole thing. Save the oil to toss dramatically at your enemies in the case someone tries to invade your home.

5. Take out of the fryer and cut in half to see if it cooked correctly. Or use a thermometer to see if it has achieved the proper temperature. If not, or if it is still pink, finish in the oven at the same temperature at 150°C/350°F.

6. Done! Serve on a plate, and eat up! Sauce over chicken, and salad on the side.

CONFIT THIGHS IN SUPREME SAUCE WITH SQUASH/YAM PURE AND FATUSH SALAD.

The problem with frying things, as I have stated before, is that it might be too loud or too hot for some people, especially if you are hiding. For us apocalyptic chefs that can't just stand there and fry something that might burn up, the confit is a great way to make a chicken the perfect way over a long period of time. Confit means cooking in low-heat oil over a long period of time. Might not work for a quick lunch, but it will work for the best lunch. And when every lunch might be your last, you gotta do you.

Mise en Place:

For the puree:

- 150 gr/5.5 oz Squash/Yam, peeled.

- 1 Tablespoon of Butter.

- 45 ml/1.5 oz Milk, or Cream.

For the salad:

- 70 ml/2 oz Vinaigrette.

- 50 gr/2 oz Tomato, in Brunoise.

- 50 gr/2 oz Cucumber, in Brunoise.

- 50 gr/2 oz Romaine Lettuce, in Chiffonade.

-50 gr/ 2 oz Onion, in Emincé.

- 1 tablespoon of Leek, in Chiffonade.

- 1 Tablespoon of Spearmint, roughly chopped.

For the sauce:

- 1/2 cup Chicken Veloute.

- 25 gr/1 oz Mushrooms, thinly sliced.

- 1 tablespoon of Butter.

- Salt and Pepper to taste.

For the Chicken Thighs:

- 2 Chicken Thighs.

- 1 tablespoon of Thyme.

- 1 tablespoon of grated lemon zest.

- Enough oil to cover the thighs in a small pot.

Preparing the Puree:

1. Place the Squash/Yam on an oven pan. Melt the butter and pour it over the vegetable. Salt and pepper to taste.

2. Cover in aluminum foil and place it in the oven at 180°C/356°F until its tender.

3. Take out of the oven, place in a bowl, and begin to puree it with the milk. Taste, rectify if needed. And you're done! Can also puree on a food processor, if you wanna alert people of your pretense and have your back so riddled with bullet holes that the Italian guild will use your body as a colander.

Preparing the salad:

1. Add all the ingredients into a bowl.

2. Toss the salad with the vinaigrette.

3. Done. It ain't rocket science.

Preparing the sauce:

1. Heat the Veloute in a saucepan.

2. Sautee the mushrooms with the butter at low heat until brown.

3. Add the mushrooms to the Veloute and mix.

4. Done. Remember to taste and rectify. You should tattoo that on your arm.

Preparing the chicken: 

1. Add the thighs to a saucepan and add enough oil to cover them entirely.

2. Add the aromatics and stir. Heat at the lowest possible flame. Or, if you can, heat it up until 60°C/140°F. Leave it cooking for 2 hours.

3. When the meat starts to pull apart from the bone, remove and dry.

4. Finish up in the oven until brown.

5. Done!

That's a high-class meal right there. Eat up with gusto before any expedition.

CREEPY UNCLE SAM'S PATENTED BBQ WINGS WITH FRENCH CARROTS AND MANGO SALAD

Any chef worth their mettle has a patented barbecue sauce. Today, I am let you in on my special blend, just...don't tell everybody. People have perished for this recipe.

Mise en Place:

For the sauce:

- 1/2 cup Tomato sauce.

- 50 ml/1.5 oz Worcestershire sauce.

- 50 gr/ 1.5 oz Onion, in Brunoise.

-  1 Tablespoon of Garlic, finely chopped.

- 3 tablespoons of Packed Brown Sugar.

- 4 tablespoons of Apple Cider Vinegar.

- 1 tablespoon Fennel seeds.

- 1 lump of coal.

For the carrots.

- As many carrots as you want in thick Julienne.

- Flour to taste.

- Salt and Pepper to taste.

For the salad:

- 80 gr/3 oz Mango, cubed.

- 30 gr/1 oz Onion, in Brunoise.

- 30 gr/1 oz Bellpepper, in Brunoise.

- 1 tablespoon of Cilantro, finely chopped.

- 50 mg/2 oz Vinaigrette.

For the wings:

- Chicken Wings.

- Salt and Pepper to taste.

Preparing the sauce:

1. Sweat the onion in a saucepan with oil on low heat until they become see-through.

2. Add the garlic and fennel seeds and cook for 5 minutes.

3. Add the sugar, vinegar, and Worcestershire sauce. Mix until bubbling lightly.

4. Add the tomato sauce, salt, and pepper. Heat until simmering.

5. This is gonna get weird. Blaze the coal with some fire to activate it. You want to let it all light, and then toss into the sauce. Let it simmer for 5 minutes. The coal with give it smokiness and dept. You can also use smoked bones if you have.

6. Remove the coal and rectify the flavor. Done!

For the French Carrots:

1. Salt the carrots. Toss them with enough flour to coat them and put them in the freezer. Carrots are very moist, so the salt and flour draws it out.

2. Shake excess flour and fry until golden. Remove from oil.

3. Salt and pepper to taste.

For the salad:

1. You should know by now just to toss everything in a bowl. It ain't rocket science.

For the wings:

1. Blanch the wings in oil or water for 5 minutes.

2. Move the wings to an oven tray and paint them with the sauce. Use a brush to help you spread it evenly. Or not. Life's too short to be careful.

3. Bake in the oven at 180°c/356°F for 15 minutes. Yummers.

4. Remove and serve!

These are a few basic recipes for you to practice your skills. You can modify them to your taste and liking, but with this, you have achieved the rank of Fowl Master.

Now, with the power of chickens and salad, your canned-food foes will tremble by the sight of our culinary skills. Go forth, apocalyptic chef. Go and cook!