Dark humor jokes
Warning! These jokes can be very dark and messed up. Some can considered inappropriate. If you're not into that kind of stuff, please don't read this. Note: I don't own all the jokes. Some I made up, others I read.…
Warning! These jokes can be very dark and messed up. Some can considered inappropriate. If you're not into that kind of stuff, please don't read this. Note: I don't own all the jokes. Some I made up, others I read.…
#1 in humor on 24.01.2018Picture this-You are a huge fan of a singer from your favourite band. Your day starts looking at his picture on the wall of the bedroom and ends with the same.One day you are standing near the window of your room and what you see next makes you freeze....You see your favourite singer ,your crush standing with a mug of coffee in his hand on the window of the room opposite to your bedroom.Dream come true, right?'Chashmish' is what he calls her. 'Rockstar' is what he prefers. What happens when two completely different worlds collide?Sparks?Explosion?ORLove with a solid taste of humor. Come fall in love with our crazy malhotra and his Fangirl❤--------*CONTAINS HINDI DIALOGUES*…
Anne De Ville accidentally drops her new shoes down the stairs and they hit Hunter Denegan's head - will the bad boy become her prince charming? ***** Anne De Ville is in no way exceptional - or so she thinks. On an ordinary sunny day, Anne decides to go to the closest mall to buy new shoes. Little does she know that she would accidentally drop her new high tops down three flights of stairs and hit Hunter Denegan on the head. What happens when a pair of shoes land on the most popular boy's head, and he turns into prince charming, looking for the girl who lost her shoes?[[word count: 20,000-30,000 words]]…
This book has topics some people may find offensive....You have been warned!!!Now read the damn book and don't cry about some joke you don't like because no one wants to hear your damn opinion. Thanks, love you guys!!!…
Highest ranking - #1 in Humor (24/12/2017) She is fire, he is an extinguisher. Both of them together personify craziness. Its a story of two best friends who are together since childhood and support each other in everything they do. What will happen when someone else comes to their life. Give it a shot. Cover credits - @The_shining_armor…
A book of dark jokes for those who bear the darkest souls.…
╰┈➤ "ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ ᴡɪʟʟ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴍᴇ., ᴏɴᴄᴇ ɪᴛ ᴇᴀʀɴꜱ ᴍᴇ." 𝘏𝘶𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘴, 𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘣𝘯𝘰𝘹𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯'𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺? 𝘍𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘪𝘴 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵? 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘰𝘳 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨., 𝘚𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘢 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝙃𝙐𝙈𝙊𝙍 𝙈𝙀.." 𝗜𝗠 𝗕𝗢𝗥𝗘𝗗 𝗣𝗟𝗔𝗬𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗚𝗢𝗗 𝗔𝗦 𝗔 𝗖𝗛𝗢𝗥𝗘.. " ⟳ 𝐇𝐄𝐗𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐇…
When luxury cruiseliner The Silver Queen finds giant, parasitic saber-tooths onboard, it's up to the captain's son to save both the ship, and all of humankind. ***** Sixteen-year-old Eidon Miller thinks his summer aboard his dad's Alaskan Cruise Ship is going to be boring - but when the ship comes across a lifeless vessel and they are forced to rescue the lone, bloodied survivor, things turn from boring to deadly. First the sea begins to boil beneath the ship. People start turning up dead - and then Eidon finds massive, bloody paw prints on deck. Something has awakened beneath the boiling sea and released monsters - giant, parasitic Sabertooths - that had been extinct from the earth for centuries. They've come out of the sea, onto the Silver Queen -- and they are hungry for blood. ** Book 2 in the Zombie Shark Highway universe **[[word count: 30,000-40,000 words]]…
"So, let me get this straight. You stomped all over his paperwork?" She started. "Not intentionally, but yes," I confirmed it. "Threw a drink in his face?" She added. "Expensive red wine." I described. "Rammed into his car with yours deliberately?" she counted on her third finger. "Um...I'm not proud of that one," I said cringing. "And called him offensive names?" She ended the list and I winced. "Twice." I specified. "And you're still alive?" She blinked, looking genuinely surprised. "Geez, don't be dramatic or anything..." I frowned at her hyperbolic statement. "Maybe he's keeping you around to get revenge." She suggested. Possible. I wouldn't put it past him."I didn't know alright!" I exclaimed. "Let's hope that excuse is acceptable.." She was merely amused. "Working with my new boss is going to be a piece of work." **Synopsis: When the CEO of Signature Heights: Jensen Black, and a stubborn employee: Alexandra Brook, clash, it's a battle of wits & a war of perseverance. They are both dead set on making each other's lives hell, but when the story progresses they just might learn that first impressions could be deceiving. As circumstances reveal their true selves and opinions change, things could get complicated especially when suddenly feelings get involved. Who would be the first to concede?Maybe it's not that simple to forgive your archnemesis and maybe it'll result in some hilarious consequences... **Book 1 of a two-part series (completed).High Rankings: # Funny, # Humor, # Comedy, # Romance, #BillionaireAmazing book, I adore your writing style, and I really enjoyed these characters and story -ReaderFantastic story, believably flawed characters and deft humour makes for a very engaging read, I could barely put it down to feed my children -Reader **…
They're worlds apart, and this isn't high school, so how the hell did a homeless female writer end up renting a billionaire's mansion? And - hold your breath - becoming his fake girlfriend? ➳ full blurb inside ➳ first reached #1 in humor on july 6, 2015 ➳ winner of best humor book in the fiction awards 2016 ➳ featured by cadbury (marvellous creations) and secret lives of the americans (pivot)P.S. This is a SATIRICAL BILDUNGSROMAN. Proceed with caution.…
after a prank gone terribly wrong, hayden jones is sent across country to caldwell academy, a school for the bitchy, the dangerous and the rebellious.and if that wasn't bad enough, it becomes much worse when hayden is accidentally put in the male dormitory, landing her in a room with the school's notorious heartbreaker, chase everett.[not edited...like at all]…
As Claire aims to leave her oppressive stepfamily behind, she befriends Zion. Will he be her ticket to freedom or a distraction in achieving her dreams? *****Claire Olsen has had a crush on Zion Petrakis since the first time she laid eyes on him, but he never noticed, instead only having eyes on the school's it girl, Maddie Jennings. Knowing she couldn't compete with Maddie, Claire hid her feelings for Zion, satisfied with admiring him from afar. However, when a series of events led Claire closer to Zion, her feelings for him grew from infatuation to love. And despite fighting hard to keep her feelings contained by distancing herself from Zion, he was determined to show her that he's earned a spot in her life. [[word count: 100,000-150,000 words]]…
This is just a filler sorry for not updating my other story but I've been really busy with school and practice.…
Highest Rank: #1 in Romance, #2 in HumorWhat happens when you're walking down the street, with one of the best coffees in hand, turn around for one second... Then the next thing you know, the world is spinning and you've landed in the arms of one of the most gorgeous organisms of the male species. With the best coffee, you've ever had, spilt on his grey v-neck?Or maybe when you're drunk off your head, can't walk in a straight line with a heel that is broken and your makeup smudged with a bottle of beer in your hand...Then the next thing you know the world is spinning and that same gorgeous organism has you in his arms with the strong smell of your beer on his leather jacket?When it comes to Ryan Einstein, Alexis Harrington needs a little help. Especially when her only instinct is to say..."Shit! I'm sorry!"© All Rights Reserved 2018 Camerybear…
Lilah is the plain, simple girl that no one notices. She's just another face in the crowd, nothing more. Her world is very different from the ones of her two best friends, which causes them to rarely see each other. So, they share a notebook. They write their feelings and their secrets in this notebook and it is only passed between them. Until Lilah loses it in the hallway.Reece is the school's bad boy, street fighter, and also the boy who finds Lilah's notebook. But Reece doesn't want to be nice and simply give the notebook back to her, not unless he gets something out of it.How far will Lilah go to get her notebook back?Guess you'll have to read to find out. ;)(This is not edited)…
Keeley accidentally swaps cell phones with a rivaling high school's star quarterback. Unable to switch back until a week later, she must interact with the arrogant boy, passing along texts and voicemails. As she gets to know him better, she realizes there's more to him than sexual innuendos and egotistical comments. But when identities are revealed and secrets are exposed, will Keeley's feelings remain?Available in bookstores now! Look for it under its new title, TEXTROVERT.…
Diagnosed with a terminal illness, Peter Katz hires a hitman to take him out. But when a cure is discovered, Peter's got to outrun the assassin to stay alive!*****When douchebag lawyer Peter Katz gets diagnosed with terminal cancer, he wants to die painlessly. Still, death seems to elude his every attempt, so he hires an assassin to kill him at a random time and place within the month. Unfortunately for Peter, right after he orders the hit, a treatment is discovered that would add decades to his life. Now Peter Katz has to start running, until the month-long deadline ends. Desperate to survive, he has to deal with tall-dwarves, unionized suicide workers, art terrorism and all the insanity that being alive has to offer. Will he make it to the end of the month? Or will Peter Katz live a life's worth of craziness in however many days he has left?For what is Comedy, but Tragedy + Time?[[word count: 100,000-150,000 words]]…
Incorrect quotes, memes, and funny stuff about f1…
"Feel that?" He asked, keeping her hand still. "That's what you do to me. Every time I see you. Every time I hear you laugh. Every time I think of you." ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎It started with an accidental run in, but blossomed into something more. Aurora never thought she could ever love herself again, let alone give her love to another. Yet after meeting him, her doubts slowly began to fade away. Xavier was never a man of many words. Known to be cold and closed off, he found himself opening up to her as he fell for her fast.Join Aurora and Xavier as they learn to love and trust each other, forming unbreakable bonds.❤︎ Extended description inside ❤︎#2 in romcom 07-20-2022#2 in sweet 04-23-2021#1 in loveatfirstsight 04-14-2021#1 in fiction 02-15-2021#2 in billionaire 11-14-2020#3 in chicklit 11-13-2020#4 in protective 10-18-2020#1 in boyfriend 10-15-2020#1 in drama 10-8-2020#4 in love 9-23-2020#2 in humor 9-20-2020#1 in sweetromance 9-14-2020#1 in asiansinlit 9-04-2020#1 in newadultromance 8-16-2020…
Jessie Cross is a typical bad boy with the title. He loves cars and racing and is basically an adrenaline addict. He loves tattoos, music, the women. His friends and him hung out at this one bar often but this particular brunette who appeared uncomfortable caught his eye. Sailor Kate was the pretty girl who drowned herself in books- romance addict- and she was too lonely to leave her awful friends.One night they dragged her to a car race and she sat alone by her car, bored out of her mind. When a man came up to her she became uncomfortable but didn't know how to wave him off until a boy did it for her. How do they proceed after?…
"What, you don't think I'm a bad boy?""We're in an camp for delinquents. They're all bad boys here."FIRST BOOK IN THE WICKED SERIES…
You've got one boy.One girl.One pretty little lie. A perfect relationship.The perfect boyfriend.The perfect girlfriend.The perfect dates.The perfect gifts.And the perfect surprises. That gives you our golden couple of Sunset Westwood High.But what happens when it's all a lie? One boy.One girl who needs desperate help.One pretty little lie. That sounds more like it. When Olivia's ex is bothering her and rubbing it in her face at a party that he moved on after dumping her, she sees her nemesis, Ethan walking by and she uses him as her ploy, but the move isn't so smart when you think about it. I mean, how easy can it be acting lovey-dovey with your enemy?.....ALL RIGHTS RESERVED…
[LGBT+, Teen Fiction, Humor, Romance]There are only three things that Mycah Rhodes and Arden Fuller agree on.1. Their mutual hatred for one another.2. Their dislike for the fact that their parents are friends.3. Their shared wish that they weren't stuck together for the summer.Cue a summer filled with friends, fighting and feelings.. what could possibly go wrong?[Part 1 published: 1st March 2018]…
Anna Krause is in her senior year and more than ready to leave high school behind and start a new fresh life without homework, what she didn't expect however is that, she might want to spend a little more time inside what she thought was a prison... once she meets her new calculus teacher.Lesbian/girlxgirl teacherXstudentCopyright © 2015 by ShayZayit…