ع˖⁺ ☁⋆ ୭ 🕊.⋆｡⋆༶⋆˙⊹

𝐖𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐇𝐢𝐦 𝐅𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐀𝐰𝐚𝐲

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"𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧'𝐭 𝐚 𝐛𝐚𝐝 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝,"

"...𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐲'𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰?"

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I suggest listening to Watching Him Fade Away by Mac DeMarco or Ready/Problems by Boy Pablo while you read this </3 Sorry in advance

You clipped your h/c hair back cheerfully as you looked into your small mirror. After what felt like eternity, you were getting to spend some real quality time with your boyfriend today! You had both planned that you would meet up with him at his dorm soon.

Although, despite all your excitement, there was nervousness bubbling up inside of you. You needed to talk to your boyfriend about the lack of communication and how it felt like you were slowly drifting apart.

You wondered how he would react. Would he be angry? Upset? Would it turn into a fight?

No. You need to stop overthinking. He is your boyfriend, after all. He should be accepting and understanding of your feelings.

The lack of communication has made you feel a bit out of the loop. Sure, you still talked almost every day, but it wasn't anything more than small talk. You wanted to hear more than just about how his day was going, but your schedules couldn't seem to cooperate.

As you slipped on your shoes and fled the dorms you rehearsed what you would say in your head. It shouldn't be that big of a deal, but you tend to overthink, and to be fair, you knew it would be awkward as fuck.

You knocked on his dorm room door lightly and awaited a response.

"Y/N!" The familiar violet haired boy pushed the door open and wrapped his arms around you as you smiled into his chest.

"Hitoshi! How's your day been?" You left your arms to hang loosely around his neck as he gazed down at you.

He seemed to be thinking for a moment before he finally responded, "It's better now that you're here." He eventually huffed and placed his chin on the top of your head. Although you couldn't see, his smile was now replaced with a worried look.

"You're so cute, y'know that?" You pulled away to cup his face and he smiled sweetly at you before wrapping his arms around you so that you couldn't see his blush.

After a moment, the two of you let go and Shinsou went to close the door while you sat on his bed. As Shinsou turned away from his door, he stopped to look at you. You looked uncomfortable, your eyes were darting around the room and you weren't casually sprawled out on his bed like normally.

He knew how you felt. He knew exactly what you wanted to get off your mind.

"Y/N?" He stood in front of you and you looked up to meet his gaze.

Even though you had just arrived, he didn't want to wait any longer. If he did, he might not have the heart to do it. Or the guts.

Here goes nothing.

"Yeah?" You tilted your head as he sat next to you and looked at the floor.

At this point, both of you knew that you needed to work something out. You were only going to drift farther apart if this kept up. You could work it out though, you knew you could. It would all be over soon, then you could see Shinsou all the time, he could even get into your class!

"I think we should break up."

"Huh...?"

"...I know you're upset with me, I can see it in your eyes. We've been growing apart, and somewhere in the midst of all this I realized it was stupid of me to get into a relationship while knowing I wasn't going to have time for one if I was really going to reach my goals."

The both of you sat in silence for a second while you both processed the situation and thought out what to say next. You knew you would have to talk about the situation at some point but you didn't think it would end like this.

"I like you, Y/N. I really do, please trust me. I just have a lot of things on my plate... and the thought of maintaining a relationship at the moment just feels like too much for me. I'm sorry." He continued to stare at the ground in front of him, he was too nervous to look at you.

"I understand," You spoke gently, you didn't want to upset him and most of all you didn't want him to feel bad for you.

The way that he worded everything. Something about it made the gears turn in your head. It almost felt like he was trying to explain that you weren't a priority to him anymore. Of course, that's not what he meant, but it did indeed feel like it.

His top priorities had been you and becoming a hero. Clearly it had become a little too much for both of you and it became hard to juggle your daily lives with your relationship. But now that you aren't part of his top priorities anymore, he can finally focus on one thing at a time.

Shinsou seemed to relax at your calm response, he didn't want to make you upset. Of course it was a stupid thing to want, considering he was breaking up with you, but he still liked you and making you cry would definitely make the situation harder for him.

 "I'm sorry it didn't work out... and I'm sorry if I've caused you any stress. I know how hard you're working, I just didn't want to be in the way of you and your dreams." You tried to keep your calm state and push away that wrenching gut feeling. The feeling that felt as if you'd been punched right in the gut.

"It's not your fault, really. Please don't apologize. I'm sorry for being a bad boyfriend. I guess sometimes it's hard for me to focus on two important things at once..." The purple haired boy seemed to go into deep thought towards the end of his sentence.

"You weren't a bad boyfriend," You looked over at him with a worried look. You had almost grabbed his shoulder too, but you weren't exactly sure where he stood with physical affection outside of relationships. "...It's just timing, y'know?"

He looked up at you with an expression that seemed to hold some mixture of guilt and pain. "...Yeah." nodding acceptingly, he turned his eyes back to the floor.

Now that a lot of the heavier stuff was out of the way, you could only realize how awkward it felt. The amount of awkwardness and the overbearing feeling to start bawling your eyes out made your body feel like it was going to explode.

"Can..." Shinsou's words seemed to get caught up in his throat as he reassessed the question he was about to ask, he felt like a douche for asking this question during this kind of moment. "Can we still be friends?"

"I'd really like that," You responded almost eagerly. You couldn't bear the thought of leaving him behind completely. You knew that even though you would both agree to staying friends, it would never be the same. Although, even if things would never be the same between you, you knew it would be even worse having to pretend like he doesn't exist at school. That and, you didn't want to let go.

"I'm glad..." He sighed before beginning to speak again, "Y/N, you aren't angry with me, right?" He was hesitant to ask the question, but the poor boy was so upset with himself he couldn't imagine how you might feel towards him at the moment.

"Why would I be angry?" Your heart sank a bit in your chest. During moments like these you seem to forget that other people have their own insecurities and are probably just as upset as you.

"I'm- I don't know, I just feel bad." He intertwined his fingers and shifted in his seat.

"Please don't. It's not even your fault, Hitoshi. It just wasn't meant to be." You weren't sure if you should smile or not to bring light to the uncomfortable atmosphere that the both of you had created.

Shinsou could feel his heart sting with your last sentence. Even if you were right, it really hurt him to hear that from you. He wanted it to be meant to be, he really did.

"Thank you," He spoke in an almost whispered tone. You weren't exactly sure what he was thanking you for, but you didn't even feel like questioning it. As each second passed by, your main focus began to switch to how you were going to get up and leave. How do you even do that kind of thing during times like these?

"You're welcome," You said, despite not knowing what you were welcome for. You stood up and brushed off your skirt before meeting his gaze, "I have to go, but I'll see you around, mkay?" You smiled and swiftly left his dorm room before he could even respond, slowly shutting the door behind you until you could hear it click.

Shinsou immediately buried his face in his hands and grimaced to himself at how everything played over. The way you took everything so calmly made his eyes water, for a moment it felt to him as if you didn't even care. But at the same time he was glad, it only made it easier for him.

Meanwhile, Y/N was getting back to her dorm as fast as she could, without running of course. She didn't want to draw any unwanted attention, especially while it was taking everything in her not to let the tears fall.

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𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄

right placeee wrong timeee~

p.s. TYSM FOR 4K READS <333

Word Count: 1537

Date Published: 2/28/22

Date Edited: 2/27/23