chapter 15
(talk)

dejah wanted to slam the door in chris' face. but something stopped her. she didn't know what, but something was telling her to invite him in. every time she catches herself doing something she knows she shouldn't be doing, for example, inviting chris into her house - she tells herself to straighten the fuck up and to not let his words get to her in a way that she knew she would regret later on.

but if dejah was being completely honest with herself, she had begun to feel different, and that's when she knew she was fucked. but was letting chris sturniolo into her house, a bad idea? who cares, she's already in way too deep now, she's already sat down in her living room with chris opposite her.

this past week she had been so goddamn confused with everything, and so has chris. so naturally, this conversation that was about to happen was bound to be confusing.

"i never actually hated you. i just taught myself to hate the feeling i got when i'm around you, and as the years went by i guess the hatred for you grew aswell." explains dejah. it felt weird for her to be telling him the honest truth, as her whole life she felt as though she had been lying to him.

chris blinks. he literally just blinks. it's as if he was waiting for more, for more of the story to be added, but she never continues, "even when i thought you hated me, the fuzzy feeling i got when i saw you never went away"

dejah thinks on his sentence for a moment. went away? so the feeling was there before she started to 'hate him'. "i was so heartbroken when i found out you started dating tonya. you basically forgot about me. i had loved you ever since kindergarten, and when you started dating her, i was in the friend zone. you even became distant with me as you were always with tonya. i thought for sure, that i was never going to see you again and if i was being honest, i didn't mind it. and then you became best friends with my brother. i had to hate you, so that i didn't love you."

chris swallowed the lump that was in his throat as she spoke. his heart was beating at such a high rate, he thought it was going to beat out his chest. but the one thing that was going faster, were the thoughts that were running through his head. this sudden headache began, "last week, when i tried to kiss you. in that moment, i realised how much i actually liked you. something clicked, and i guess i finally realised that this 'fuzzy feeling' wasn't nothing and that it was.."

chris never finished that sentence, but she knew. "i really did mean everything i said earlier. i can't be with you, i'm sorry"

"and i also meant everything i said too! we can try again? you know it's true, you know we can make it work. it's going to take time, and i know that. but that's what i'm willing to do to be with you, dejah doe." he whispers, gazing into her eyes. his lips curl into a small smile before it soon faded away when dejah looked away.

"why do you care so much about me. i treated you like shit our whole high school life, and you still cared for me and tried." she states, realising she already knew the answer.

"because i still liked you. i just never realised until now."

this was the most communication the pair had ever done. they were always known to be extremely awkward people who hated confrontation, and their communication skills weren't the best. that was definitely something the both of them needed to work on.

"i see the way abbie looks at matt, it's pure love." she earns a worried look from chris, "don't worry, i knew beforehand." she says, soothing chris. "i just.. don't look at you the same way."

"well, do you see the way matt looks at abbie?" he says, clearly foreshadowing his and dejah's relationship. "i know, i fuck everything up. i know, that whenever we try something, something bad happens, i know the odds probably aren't in our favour, but i want you dejah. i need you."

chris was being extremely vulnerable right now, even more vulnerable than he was earlier. as he looked into dejah's eyes, he could see the fear and uncertainty. he just wanted to jump over there and hug her, but he couldn't. younger him would of, but it was different back then.

"matt, cmon let's go. he's taking forever. let's just go home and he can message us when he needs picking up again." groans nick, getting bored in the back seat waiting for chris to come out.

matt turns around to face nick, "did you know tonyas hosting a party tomorrow night at 8?"

nick furrows his eyebrows and begins to laugh, "on a monday? she's fucking ridiculous, i swear to god she's always partying."

matt laughs and agrees, "it's an open door party. i'm thinking of telling abbie how i feel about her."

nick pats him on the shoulder and smiles, "hope it goes well." he explains, looking at dejah's doors who opens up wide. "here he comes, finally."

chris walks back to the car and when he opens the door he's all smiles. matt and nick share a look, "whatever happened, i told you that you would thank me later."

chris laughs and buckles himself in. matt begins to drive away, but the curiosity got the best of nick, "sooo... what uh, what happened?" he says, raising his eyebrows. he knew chris was going to give zero details, so he wondered why he even bothered.

"oh, nothing. also i'm going to tonyas party. you guys coming?" he asks, getting confused looks from matt and nick.

"how did you already know she was hosting a party? she literally posted the invite on instagram like a few minutes ago?"

"well how did you know if it was only a few minutes ago?" he claps back, earning a grin from matt in the drives seat, and a scoff from nick in the back.

"i'm guessing she invited you to go with her?" asks nick, curiosity still brewing inside him. he needed to know what happened.

"not exactly."

matt and nick smile at each other through the rear view mirror.

(chris' phone perspective)

matt- uber driver 🚖
chris- chri$
nick- the gay one 😍
nate- dad
dejah- judelover
abbie- hatesmatt
liv-gc maker 💪💪

_________________________

shoes w/o the s 😜💪🫣

hatesmatt
who's going to tonyas party

uber driver 🚖
istg ur stalking me or something
we were lit js talking abt this

hatesmatt
why wud i wanna stalk ur ass

uber driver 🚖
bc ur obsessed w me

hatesmatt

...

the gay one 😍
gone quiet there abbie?

hatesmatt
u guys didn't answer my question??

dad
i'm not

gc maker 💪💪
me duh

the gay one 😍
same

uber driver 🚖
i'll go too

judelover
i am
wait
wtf..
MY USER
let's change that guys!!

gc maker 💪💪
oh shit yh
lemme change it for u pooks 😘

gc maker changed judelover to pooks 😘

pooks 😘
not much better but it will do 😭😭

me
glad that names gone

gc maker 💪💪
whys that chris

me
jude's a dick

hatesmatt
or is it bc ur glad jude's not dejah's anymore 🫢

me
nope

pooks 😘
ok then chris 🙄
anyways.. chris is coming too
but he keeps yapping so he didn't exactly tell u guys

me
stfu nobody asked u

hatesmatt
for a moment i thought something was happening?? but no.
js back to being enemies as per

me
don't ever say that corny ass shit again💀
*sigh* js back to being enemies as per ☝️🤓

hatesmatt
acting like i won't come over rn n beat the shit outta u tf??
maybe i should change my name to hateschris instead

me
is that bc u hate me now? or bc u love matt now so the user wouldn't make sense

hatesmatt
yep. i officially hate chris.
i finally get why dejah hates u sm 🥱

pooks 😘
real

me
dejah. stfu

uber driver 🚖
so we're all going except boring nate?

dad
bro i have college fuck face

uber driver 🚖

acting like even if u didn't have college u would come
u literally hate parties

dad
i'll have u know i'm acc the centre of every party i go to 🤷‍♂️
so stfu

pooks 😘
nate. that makes me wanna throw up 🤢

dad
don't b jelous js bc i make parties fun n u dont

me
real

pooks 😘
ok chris. ur only saying that bc i said that earlier??

the gay one 😍
guys i js made pasta 😍😍😍

me
u nearly burned the house down but u got there eventually!!

uber driver 🚖
I WAS JS ABT TO SAY THAT AHAH

the gay one 😍
stfu

pooks 😘
that looks so good

dad
be so fr that looks gross

uber driver 🚖
ur js a picky eater nate 🙄

gc maker 💪💪
THAT LOOKS SO GOOD OMG

hatesmatt
i'm a sucker for pasta 🩷💝💓💞💘🎀💓🩷

¹⁵¹⁹ ʷᵒʳᵈˢ

maisie
💌
srry that's it's been ages since the last upload i've js been rlly busy but i'm gonna try n make time for this book as i have a lot of very exciting things planned!! ily all sm :)