chapter 14
(when a heart breaks, it doesn't break even)

as chris lays motionless in his bed, he begins to think about everything. he's done a lot of things in his life that he regrets, but this is definitely top of his list. what was he going to do when the best part of him, was always her? but at least now, he realises that and he doesn't have to keep running away any more.

they say bad things happen for a reason. but did this bad thing happen for a reason? or did chris just make a big mistake and it's going to make things worse. his heart still aches even though it's been a whole week. he didn't go to school during that week, he just couldn't. he couldn't bare to see her face, it would just hurt even more and he wasn't ready for that. he often thought about what dejah was thinking. what's going on in her head. he also often thought about what matt had said, and how he was right. he did need to talk to her. but how was he supposed to talk to her, when he can't even look at her?

dejah also took that week off school. not because of chris, in fact chris was the least of her worries. it was her parents. every single day they came back to the apartment and knocked on the door and tried to talk to them, but she begged nate to never answer the door. she didn't want to leave the house in case she would see them again, and she wasn't ready for that yet. but that doesn't mean that she didn't think of chris. it was at the back of her mind, but the thoughts were still there. why would he try to kiss me? why now? i can't fall in love with him again, i just can't. i don't want to hurt myself again. how do i tell him that the only reason i 'hated him' all these years is because i'm scared of catching feelings again.. her train of thoughts disappeared when she heard a knock on the door. she just wanted to scream in her parents face and tell them that she never wants to see them ever. when she heard nate exit his bedroom to tell them to leave, she openes her door, "let me do it this time." she says, watching as nate slowly nods his head and makes his way back to his room.

she was prepared to express all of her feelings to her parents, until she got to the door and all of a sudden she wasn't ready anymore. she felt sick to her stomach when she heard another knock at the door. she put a brave face on before twisting the door open slowly. she had her eyes closed and she opened them when the door was fully open. she lets out a shakey breath when she makes eye contact with the person at the door.

"hi."

dejah closes her eyes again as she huffs, "chris." she says, "what are you doing here. go home." she whispers, beginning to close the door.

"wait!" he shouts, grabbing the door so she couldn't close it again. she pauses before re- opening the door. chris was being extremely vulnerable right now, which is a side that he has never shown to anyone before, "this past week, all i've been thinking about is you."

dejah looks away as she doesn't want to smile right now. she opens her mouth to speak, but she can't find the right words. "the more i think about you and me.. and.. us? it just made me realise that i think.."

"no." says dejah, cutting chris off before he could finish his sentence. she steps outside and closes the door behind her so nate couldn't hear her, "chris i cant. as much as an amazing guy you are, i just can't. i've made the mistake of falling for you too many times and i can't let that happen. i mean, just hanging out with you makes my heart sway. why do you think i've been spending all these years avoiding you?" she shouts, pouring her heart out to chris who stands there emotionless. she lets out a huff of air as she looks towards the floor. everything that she has been bottling up for all these years have finally spilled out, and it felt great to some extent but the other half of her feels horrible.

chris looks up at dejah with his big blue eyes and he furrows his eyebrows, "wow, i haven't even fully taken anything in.." he speaks. this whole time he thought dejah had some kind of grudge against him for no reason at all, but now he knows why. it was so she didn't fall in love with him, "we can try again? i promise to never hurt you again, okay?" he says, walking closer to her, "were meant for each other, and i know it's true. you know it's true!" he ushers, making dejah smile a little for a second before it quickly fades away, "i like you dejah. and, i'm sorry for trying to kiss you other week, it was dumb and i wasn't thinking. i was just so deep in thought and i just acted on those thoughts without realising and i regret it so much." he apologised. dejah could see it in his eyes that he was sorry, but she couldn't find it in herself to try anything again with him. her heart was telling her yes, but her head was telling her no, "stick with what your heart wants." was the final words christopher sturniolo said before walking back to his car. matt was in the divers seat this time.

dejah watched as matt drove away. stick with what my heart wants..

dejah doe wanted nothing more than for chris sturniolo to be hers. it's all she's ever wanted practically her whole life and now she has him, but is it too late? everything in her life was confusing, from jude, to her parents, to chris. everything was a blur to her and she didn't know what to do. she thought about what chris had said about following her heart, but it's hard to follow your heart when your head is telling you different. ever since middle school, she had hated chris, but maybe it wasn't hate. maybe it was something more than that, maybe it was just a cover up for how much she actually loved him. maybe it was her way of protecting herself from another heartbreak. dejah never actually confessed her feelings towards chris in middle school, but she knew that he knew and he fell in love with another girl and just forgot about her eventually. that was rejection in her eyes, and from then on she made a promise to herself that she was never going to fall for him again no matter the circumstances, and she wasn't about to break that promise.

as matt drove away with chris in the passenger seat and nick in the back, there was silence. the sweet yet deathening silence that was filled with tension and awkwardness, "so now what? you just ask her to go with her heart and you leave?" asks matt, looking at chris with disappointment in his eyes before turning his attention back onto the road.

chris doesn't even bother answering, he just looks outside his window at the views. he knew he was going to have to go back to school on monday, so he would talk more then. "she needs time to think, maybe it was a good thing that chris left?" suggest nick, sticking up for chris who smiles slightly through the rear view mirror at nick.

matt shakes his head and sighs, "i just think.. that you seriously need to get your shit together chris. like real talk now, no more tryna kiss her randomly, no more ignoring each other and bad communication." he begins, stopping at a red light. he turns to look at chris who is still looking out of the window, "you have to. dejah has a bad past with you so you can't just expect her to fall in love with you instantly, especially after everything."

chris rolls his eyes and faces matt, "don't you think i know that? i'm not a fucking idiot dude, i just need time and she just needs time. i'm not just gonna throw everything at her all at once. you just seem to think that i'm some careless guy that fucks everything up with everyone?" he shouts, earning an angry look from matt. the lights turn green and matt turns the car around at a fast pace, "what the fuck are you doing?"

"i'm going back to her house."

nick and chris begin shouting things at matt, telling him to turn around but he doesn't listen. he continues going back to her house, "turn this fucking car around now matt!" shouts nick, unbuckling his seat belt to tap matt on the shoulder.

matt ignores everything and continues his journey. he parks his car outside her house, "cmon" says matt, looking at chris who shakes his head. he opens his car door and makes his way towards her front door when chris jumps out too.

"stop! what are you doing? you're making this worse" he says, making his way towards matt who finally stops in his tracks. he turns around to see chris standing behind him.

"when she opens this door, you're going to actually talk to her. because whatever you did back there was fucking pathetic." speaks matt, knocking on the door, "you'll thank me later" he says, heading back to his car.

kindergarten

dejah was in marylous car with nick, matt and chris. marylou was taking them to a trampoline park for the triplets birthday.

when they arrived at the place, they all immediately got out of the car and ran to the park, "last one there's a rotten egg!" shouts chris, tapping dejah on the shoulder.

"you cheated!" she shouts, still running to catch up to him. as she was running, she fell over on a rock and fell face first onto the concrete. marylou ran to her and helped her up. chris turned around when he heard all the noise and turned back around to help dejah.

"are you okay!" he asks, dusting her clothes down as they got all dirty from the ground. he held onto her hand, "you win. you win the race. i'm the rotten egg" he laughs. soon dejah joined in, "glad i could cheer you up!"

"you stay with dejah, i'm just gonna run in and catch up with nick and matt at the front desk." speaks marylou, running inside.

"thanks for helping me chris." she says, smiling. she had grazed her knees and she couldn't walk very well as the pain was stinging her. her elbows were also grazed, along with her hands as she tried to catch herself as she fell.

"of course, anything for my best friend." he says, stopping to give her a short hug.

when they made it inside, matt and nick ran to dejah and made sure she was alright, as marylou payed for them to go inside.

they all began to jump on all the trampolines and they were having the best time of their lives, except dejah. she couldn't really jump as the pain was too much for her, so she began to cry as one of the workers noticed the grazing and told her that she wasn't fit to jump as she could hurt herself even more. chris noticed her sat at a table by herself crying, and he instantly ran to her, "what's wrong? why aren't you jumping with us on our special day?"

dejah began to cry more, "because.. the man.. told me.. that i-" she could barely form a sentence as she was sniffling from crying so much, so chris held her hand under the table which made her feel a little better, "that i.. couldn't jump because of my boo boo."

chris frowns. it was a lot for a 6 year old kid to give up jumping in a trampoline park, but that was the sacrifice that chris was willing to give for his best friend, "well, if you can't jump! then.. neither can i!" he shouts, grabbing her arm to kiss her injures better. he would of kissed her knees too, but it was too far away for him to reach under the table.

dejah smiled, but it soon turned into a frown, "don't give up your birthday because of me! have fun, i'll just watch" she speaks in a sad voice. chris shakes his head and wraps his arm around her shoulder.

"if my best friend isn't having fun, then neither can i!" he says, kissing her on the cheek.

²¹⁶⁷ ʷᵒʳᵈˢ

maisie
💌

THE FLASHBACKS MAKE ME WANNA CRYY
CHRIS WAS SO CUTEE 🥹