W A R N I N G : self insecurity

S O N G  S U G G E S T I O N : 505 ; arctic monkeys

Y O U  B E A U T I F U L  T H I N G : juː ˈbjuːtɪfʊl,ˈbjuːtɪf(ə)l θɪŋ

Y E A R S  A G O

They are special, unlike any other person I've met in my life

Their chin was always up, never looking down on people or judging them. when they walked into the HQ, their smile never left their lips even in such a horrid place that dwindled in numbers each year

They chatted with manners and had a gentle tone and thought of their words with sincerity , never speaking their mind and somehow always exceeded everyone's expectations when on the field as well

They flew graciously through the tall trees and perfectly sliced the necks of those titans, the bodies dropping down one by one

They were kind, soft hearted, beautiful, everything everyone wanted and they always kept a smile so why where they here? crying in front of...me?

I look at their tears piling on their precious face, it poured down their cheeks

It made me realise they were just as human as the rest of us with emotion

But wasn't I emotionless? Wasn't I not meant to be attached? Why did my heart break at the site of them, I've seen countless of cry's but this one, this one hit me

Why?

[ Y / N ] ' S P O V

You  sighed as you tightened the harness on your uniform, enduring the tightness, you side eyed the mirror in the corner of your room with staring blankly at you

You took another deep breath before smiling to the mirror as if it were a person

You made a promise to keep smiling, as a dying promise 

' You can endure it' you told yourself as you stood up hazily

—-

" [y/n]? Can I have your food? It seems your not eating it and I don't want it to go to waste" Sasha sheepishly Asked as she pointed at your full plate

You looked at her smiling, trying to hide your tired facade that plagued your face

" of course" you hesitate but gave it to her were she quickly devoured it, you were hungry, really hungry

" But you can endure it " you told yourself once more

___

You hiss at the sharp pain in your chest that kept stinging and breathe as you tiredly moved through the tall trees

You were so tired and had travelled further than your all cadets

It hurt, it really hurt, it hurt to the point you decided to rest so you rested on a tree as you saw no one was up to you

Desperately trying to catch your breath, you rested on a tree while trying to breathe slowly

You look around the trees as you tried to relax

' No one would want a slow cadet' you reminded yourself over and over again as yet you failed to beat your record

You stare at the floor and forced a smile to yourself,

keep going.

___

You hide yourself on the corner of your bed, back against the wall, once again crying to yourself as always

You carefully cried softly so no one would hear, you didn't want to be a burden and bother to them

After all who wants a crybaby?

You kept crying softly, That was until you heard a knock on your door

You look up, quickly trying to hid your eyes and open the door with a soft smile

" I heard crying in your room, is everything okay?" Your Captain surprisingly asked

You look at the floor, trying to hid the fact your sheets had your tears and your red eyes were impaled into your face

" nothings wrong Captain, sorry to take your time, you can go back to what you were doing" you apologised, still staring at the floor

Levi sighed at your response, having heard it too many times , " stop the act brat, look at me" Levi said in a  firm tone

You hesitate but had no choice and looked at him in the eyes and then it was then revealed, your sore red eyes from crying too much

" why were you crying?" Levis voice turned into concern

You stare at him, your tears wanting to spill again

You just couldn't endure it anymore

Tears began to fall out of your eyes as you heard those words, Levi was shocked and hesitated to pat your shoulder but slowly patted your shoulder as you cried on his shoulder without realising

___

After crying for another minute you wiped your eyes again

" I'm sorry to be such a bother, thank you for your time Captain" you apologised again

" you weren't a bother...if you need anything call me" Levi shortly said before leaving in embarrassment at his actions

You stared at the door, surprised that the captain didn't scold you and that he actually stayed

It brought a smile to your face

___

" the sky is beautiful isn't it?" You said as you sat next to Levi, your backs against the tree

" it is" he replied

You two sat under a tree admiring the view, it was the first time you could be you and relax without having to force a smile to your lips

After a few more seconds of silence out of nowhere you felt something touch your ear leaving you to turn to the source

" sorry there was a flower on the ground...that reminded me of you" Levi shyly made out

You smiled at his sweet attempt

" thank you, it's really pretty" you said as you looked at it and put it back in your ear

[ just like you ] Levi thought as a reply to your words

" I never really decided on my favourite flower you know, perhaps you just picked out my favourite flower" you giggled the remark, the flower was unlike any flower you've seen after all

" you look beautiful in it" Levi softly said without consideration, soft enough for you to hear

Hearing that you couldn't help but smile widely, for the first time in a long time you felt like you alone were enough

You felt you were enough with him.

___

" Levi, the sunset is beautiful isn't it?" You smiled as you stared into the last sunset

" don't say that" Levi said behind you

You chuckled as you turned around and stared at him

" please...don't say that"

P R E S E N T D A Y

Levi smiled as he placed the flowers down

" they were your favourite" he commented as he softly kept his smile

He stared at the floor, tears falling upon his eyes

" I love you" he commented as he looked at the stone, your name engraved in it

His knuckles gripped as tears fell on his face, for the first time he broke down

The moonlight glistened on his figure as the stars shined brighter as if they heard him

" the moon is beautiful isn't it,
Love?"

" I regretted all the times I didn't get to say goodbye or I love you and all the other times I didn't kiss and hug you "

T H E E N D