—011.

The flash of light and snickering wake Shimizu up, holding onto the hand in his as he squints. His glasses are off, so he can't make out their features, but he can tell two bodies are in front of him.

He shifts on the uncomfortable and lumpy bed as he pats around to find his glasses. Feeling the familiar frames on his fingertips— he puts them on and blinks, waiting for his vision to adjust.

The blurry figures form into Tanaka-san and Kinoshita, holding back giggles as they stare at him. "Mornin' sunshine, slept well?"

Shimizu looks at Tanaka-san confusedly. He's never called him Sunshine before. "...u-um, I slept w-well, thank you for a-asking..."

The boy tries to move but frowns at the sturdiness. Who made this mattress?

The mattress moves under his touch. "...mimi? What are you— oh."

Sleepiness instantly dissipates from his body when Y/N and Yuu make eye contact, and Tanaka-san and Kinoshita-san start laughing. He slept on Nishinoya-san's body.

From what he could tell, Shimizu slept with his head on Yuu's chest— Shino-san's arm was around his back with locked legs, as if they were hugging in their sleep.

They hugged in their sleep.

They cuddled again, but this time someone saw.

His heart fell into his stomach the longer Yuu stared at him with his hands on Shimizu's waist.

"...u-uhm—"

"I—"

They stop, faces flushed as Y/N hastily stands up. "...b-b-b-bathroom, s-s-sorry—" he speedily walks off after bowing, ignoring Nishinoya-san's yell for him to wait.

His heart is beating in his head, his body feels so hot, and his mind can't think— why does Shino-san make him feel this way?

Oddly, he finds himself craving Shino-san's touch. He wants to go back to the couch and sleep the day away. He wants to cuddle with him, hug him, kiss him, call him his boyfriend—

Oh.

Y/N shakily exhales.

This is more than physical touch, isn't it?

He sinks to the floor and stares at his reddened face in the mirror, a blush spreading to his fingertips.

He's fallen for him.

Shimizu Y/N has fallen for Nishinoya Yuu, and it only took a month and a few weeks.

With how fast his heart beats whenever he and Yuu touch, he might go into cardiac arrest.

-:-

"That's great, Little Shimizu!" Bokuto-san yells through the speaker.

Shimizu paces outside the training facility. The players were at the gym, and Kiyoko was prepping lunch. "...B-Bokuto-san y-you aren't h-helping..!"

"What? Yeah, I am! You're so in love with him you had to call your older brother! Well— I haven't met this guy, so I can't say if he's good enough for you, but he sounds nice by your description!!"

His face flushes harder. "...B-Bokuto-san, t-t-that's not the issue!"

"Look at you, you're stuttering so much! My little brother's in loveeeee!" Bokuto teases with a giggle.

"...n-no!" he stammers, "...I-I j-just..." Y/N gulps, "...I-I j-just... l-like h-him..."

"Yeah, like him so much you wanna kiss, dontcha?"

"....B-B-B-B-Bokuto-san!"

His friend laughs on the other end. "I'm kidding! Not really, but I think you should go for it! Ask him out in the flashiest way possible! It's how I'd do it!"

Shimizu tries to shake the blush away. "...I-I d-don't like public confessions... T-They make me n-nervous..."

"Oh." Bokuto pauses. "Well, don't do it then! Do something cute, like a picnic! Then bring him a bouquet, make him feel appreciated, have a nice date, and then confess!"

He remembers the date Yuu promised the first week of their meeting, and he's unable to control the warmth over his body. Every time he thinks about the libero with sharp brown eyes and an adorable tuft of blonde hair, the flustered meter in his brain goes past its limit and breaks.

"...um, Y-Yuu already promised m-me a date, b-but we h-haven't gone o-on it yet... I d-don't know if h-he forgot..."

Bokuto-san gasps. "What?! That's a point deducted— if I had a date with my best bro, like Kuroo, I'd never forget!"

Bokuto-san has never mentioned a 'Kuroo' before.

As if he read his mind, the older begins explaining. "Kuroo's my best bro! We met in our first year, and we've been together ever since! He's like the cat to my owl! I'd totally take him on the date if I had the chance."

"...u-um," Shimizu starts, "...d-do you l-like K-Kuroo-san?"

"Maybe! I can't tell platonic from romantic feelings, so it's hard for me to answer, but I think I'd take Kuroo and Akaashi on a date! I dunno if I'd date them, though. Hey, hey, hey! — you're getting me off-topic! So, you and Little Nishinoya, huh?"

"...B-Bokuto-san!"

He laughs at his brother's expense. "Okay, okay! Sorry, I'll stop, but I don't see the issue if he has you this nervous! Go on a date with him before you confess— if you want to! Coming coach! I've gotta go now, but I'll call you later!"

Y/N shakily nods. "...o-okay, B-Bokuto-san. Have fun at p-practice..!"

"Bye, little guy!"

He stares at the phone screen and exhales. Maybe there were better ideas than calling Bokuto-san, but Tooru-san was busy, and asking his sister was the last resort.

Being teased over his glaringly obvious crush wasn't on his to-do list.

"Y/N? Where'd you— why are you out here?"

Does she have ears everywhere?

Kiyoko stared at him confusedly, flour sticking to her apron and her hair tied in a high ponytail. He looks away nervously. "...u-um... I-I wanted to get some fresh air...?"

Her eyebrows raised. "uh huh... well, could you help me make dough? I saw this recipe on Niconico and wanted to try it."

Y/N nods and slides his phone in his pocket. "What do you need dough for?"

The siblings walk towards the kitchen with matching smiles. "I'm trying to make dumplings from scratch. I have the filling done, but the dough isn't thin enough. I don't know how to describe it."

He fixes his glasses and hums thoughtfully. "...m-maybe you d-didn't add enough water," he rolls up his sleeves as his sister shrugs.

Kiyoko watches her brother add more water to the bowl and knead the dough with intent focus in his eyes. She smiles, kisses his cheek, and excuses herself to check on the players.

When she leaves, he grabs his headphones on top of the fridge, slips them on, keeping his dough-sticky fingers away, and begins playing music.

Lost in thought, he fixes the dough, puts it back into the bowl, and lets it rest. After washing his hands, he places the filling beside the dough and sits at the table, thumping his fingers to the beat as he relaxes.

After a couple of minutes, he goes through the motions of making dumpling wrappers. He cuts it into equal sections and presses it into a disc between his palms— occasionally sprinkling flour on them when he notices they're sticky.

It's time-consuming, but the more care he puts into each wrap, the better the results will be.

Shimizu pauses, a dough ball in his hand as he stares at the countertop. Kiyoko never told him if she wanted steamed dumplings or crispy ones.

He doesn't see a steamer nearby; he can't ask the players what they want because it won't be ready before arrival. He pushes his glasses up and sighs, deciding to go with crispy ones.

With his back turned, music streaming in his ears, and his focus on the task, Shimizu unconsciously blocks the outside world as he hums and starts cooking.

Even though he makes lunch for himself and his sister most days, Kiyoko isn't a bad cook— evidenced by the sweet aroma in the air.

He takes the dumplings off the pan when the skirt becomes golden brown and lacy. Y/N squeals, almost dropping the plate when he notices Nishinoya behind him.

"I didn't mean to scare you, sorry— are you okay?" Shino-san asks worriedly.

Shimizu swallows thickly. "...I-I'm okay," he carefully places the plate of dumplings down. "...w-when did you get h-here?"

"Ten minutes ago. You forgot to close the door, so the smell got everywhere. It smells great, by the way!" Yuu smiles.

His glasses slip down his nose bridge as he blushes, even though his sister made them. "...um, t-thank you, but K-Kiyoko made the filling, I just h-helped with the dough and frying."

"Oh," he pauses, fixing Y/N's glasses before he could. "That's fine! The stuff you made last night was amazing! You're an amazing cook, Y/N."

Y/N stares at him, his heart beating in his ears when he realizes what Yuu did. He doesn't know what planet Yuu came from, but he never wants him to go back.

Words can't describe how the simple action of adjusting his glasses made him fall harder.

"Y/N? I didn't make you uncomfortable, did I?"

Uncomfortable?

Y/N is the farthest thing from uncomfortable at the moment.

"...mimi? Everything okay?"

Realizing he's been silent far too long, he fervently nods. "...I-I am okay! M-More than okay, t-that was," he gulps, "...r-really nice... u-um, t-thank you, Y-Yuu..."

Shino-san blushes. "Y-Yeah, no problem! So, um, do you remember when we went to the park with the other second years?"

Shimizu nods.

The shorter one blushes harder. "...and I walked you home and asked to go on a date with you?"

Bashfully, Shimizu nods again.

"Are you free on the twenty-sixth? I— well, I won't tell you, actually, but I have something nice planned."

When Shimizu sees Shino-san on the court, he's attentive, bold, confident, and other adjectives Y/N can't think of, but he rarely gets to see him like this.

He had a nervous smile, blush tinting his cheeks in the best possible way, and his eyes shone with adoration.

Sometimes, it scares him when Yuu stares at him like that. He's afraid of doing something to make the shorter one hate him. Even though he's new to this, he doesn't want it to end.

Is that weird?

Shimizu hopes not.

"...y-yes," he mumbles, "...I-I-I'm f-free, Yuu."

The smile that takes over his face makes Y/N's heart swell. "Sweet! Should I pick you up from your place? Oh, I should wait 'till the day gets closer! Sorry, I'm excited. I was practicing with Ryuu for weeks."

Y/N's eyes widen in surprise. "...w-weeks?"

Realizing what he said, Shino-san nods. "Y-yeah? It was supposed to sound cooler, but I got nervous, and it came out like that..."

Yuu's pout makes him giggle. "...I-I t-think it sounded c-cool, Yuu. I-If I tried asking y-you on a date, I'd t-trip over all my words."

"I think your stutter is cute, so it doesn't count! Oh, are those for lunch, or can I try one?"

With a beet-red face, Shimizu nodded. Yuu's compliments would be his demise.

-:-

TW: Past mentions of SA, rape, child neglect, eating disorders, and victim blaming.

"...w-what are your sisters like?"

Nishinoya sighs. "They're nice. The eldest is Yoomi, the second is Haruno, and Emi is the third, the one studying jellyfish."

For the past hour, Y/N and Yuu were asking aimless questions about one another in hopes of building their already blossoming relationship. Their hands were on one another, legs occasionally bumping together as they watched the forest with tranquility.

His face falls into a sad smile. "They took care of me as a kid and bought me a pet squid for my tenth birthday during my animal fixation."

Shimizu hums. "...w-what was the squid's n-name?"

Nishinoya softly laughs. "Ika."

"...y-you named your squid, Squid?"

"Yeah, I wasn't thinking about how stupid it was. I was fucking beaming when my sisters brought the tank into our room. My parents probably forgot my birthday." He chuckles dryly, squeezing Shimizu's hand gently.

Y/N bites his inner cheek before mumbling, "...d-do you w-want to talk about w-what h-happened? W-We can, um, e-exchange stories if you want."

Yuu blows a raspberry. "I don't mind talking about it, but you don't have to if you don't want to. It's Kiyoko-san's business too, you know?"

Shimizu purses his lips. "...n-no, I w-want to talk about it. A f-friend said it's g-good to talk about things that b-bothered us in the past."

Yuu gauges his expression before sighing. "My parents didn't like me for the longest, I don't know why they had me, but things happened and they disowned me and my sisters when Yoomi finished high school. I don't remember much from them, but our living conditions must've been horrible because my old man was furious when he found out we didn't have a roof over our heads. It doesn't bother me anymore, I'm glad my sisters were there with me, but it got to me when I was the only one without parents during school events as a kid."

Y/N stared at Yuu's blank expression, eyes glazed with memories from the past. "...I-I'm s-sorry, Yuu."

"Huh? Oh, it's fine, don't worry! My old man's the best and my sisters and I are still close, so it's fine!" His voice turns soft, "...besides, I have you now, everything will be more than okay."

Y/N's heart skips a beat as he gulps nervously. Nishinoya is okay because of him?

"...r-really? I-I'm... e-enough for you...?"

"Yeah," Shino-san kisses his hand. "More than enough. You're perfect, Mimi."

Shimizu must've been a saint in his past life to have someone as great as Yuu.

His mood dampens after realizing it's his turn to share. He knows he doesn't have to, but part of him wants to tell Yuu what happened, even though his sister doesn't know the whole story.

"..u-um, y-you asked why K-Kiyoko and I didn't attend the same middle school, right?"

Yuu nods.

"...w-well, um, my parents divorced when I was f-four because of me, m-my dad hated how um... girly I was. K-Kiyoko and my mom loved dolling me up in pretty dresses, and one day, he saw me t-trying my mom's m-makeup and I guess that was the last straw because he left and divorced her t-the day after."

His breath hitches but he forces himself to continue. "...u-unfortunately, h-he got custody of me a-and we moved to Hyogo. H-He didn't let me talk to my sister or my mom and was strict about what I wore and the friends I made. He g-got furious when I-I didn't let him cut my hair b-because it was Kiyoko's and my mom's favorite thing to play with."

"...s-sorry, it's um, a-a long story..."

Nishinoya shifts closer and takes his other hand, rubbing small circles on both. "It's okay, I'll listen as long as you're willing to talk."

Shimizu sniffs before nodding. "...u-um, it was o-okay for the most part, the e-elementary school was f-fun, I w-was friends with these twins w-who r-really helped me back then a-and I got into track, b-but my dad s-stopped c-caring for me, s-so I stopped eating a-and got sick, s-so I was h-hospitalized f-for a long time a-and..."

His palms begin to sweat as his throat constricts. "...a-and... m-my u-um, n-nurse— s-she..."

"...s-she..."

Yuu gently taps his hands. "It's okay Mimi, we don't have to talk about it, you don't have to share anymore if you can't."

He shakes his head. He wants to talk about it and it's been years, it shouldn't bother him anymore.

I̶t̶ d̶o̶e̶s̶ b̶o̶t̶h̶e̶r̶ h̶i̶m̶, s̶h̶e̶ h̶a̶u̶n̶t̶s̶ h̶i̶m̶ i̶n̶ h̶i̶s̶ s̶l̶e̶e̶p̶, h̶e̶ c̶a̶n̶'t̶ e̶v̶e̶r̶ g̶e̶t̶ a̶w̶a̶y̶ f̶r̶o̶m̶ h̶e̶r̶—

"...t-touched me," he finally mutters, "...s-she t-touched me a-after the first few weeks o-of me l-living there. E-everyday, s-she t-took advantage o-of me, a-and because I-I was a b-boy and a c-child, n-no one believed me, o-or they s-said I s-should've 'e-enjoyed it'. M-My f-father— t-the man w-who w-was supposed to protect me, s-said it w-would h-help 's-straighten me o-out' a-and I shouldn't be 'b-bitching w-when I c-clearly w-wanted it'."

A tear rolls down his cheek as he hiccups. "...s-she always s-said I w-was a b-better replacement f-for h-her husband, a-and t-that my h-hair was 'cute', s-so I cut it. S-she s-said she h-hated w-when h-her h-husband stuttered, s-so I s-started d-doing it in h-hopes she'd hate m-me too."

"...s-she destroyed m-my relationship w-with touch, a-and when my d-dad g-got arrested a-and I m-moved back to M-Miyagi, I c-couldn't h-handle it w-when K-Kiyoko or my m-mom t-tried to h-hug me."

Y/N choked on a sob when he remembered the pained look on Kiyoko's face when he flinched from her hand. He couldn't imagine how she felt– years without her younger brother and the first time they met, she couldn't hug him.

Uselessly, he tries to wipe his eyes but the tears won't stop. "...I-I'm s-s-sorry— I'm s-such a c-crybaby—"

"Please don't say that about yourself."

Yuu hesitantly cups his cheeks, rubbing the fat and tears on them with a sad expression. "You're so strong, Y/N. I'm sorry that happened to you, none of that was your fault and you weren't 'asking for it'. You didn't deserve it, Mimi."

What starts as a hiccup turns into a wail as repressed emotions from years past bubble up. His head falls on Yuu's shoulder and his hands tightly grip the back of his shirt. He doesn't understand what he did wrong, why his father couldn't press charges, why the school counselor couldn't help him, or why she did what she did.

"She hurt me, dad! She t-touched me– a-and then she s-sat on m-me, and m-made me d-do things to her— I'm n-not lying, daddy, I promise—" he sobs, on his knees, begging for his father to help him– to protect him.

"Stop being a fuckin' crybaby. She just coped a feel, isn't that what you wanted? Letting your piece of shit mom put you in dresses and shit— anyone would be tempted to touch you."

"Dad? D-dad– please— I'm n-not lying— she violated me!"

"Yeah, whatever kid. Go sleep it off, you'll wake up the neighbors."

Yuu gently pats his head, adjusting their positions to make the other more comfortable. A part of him is glad Shimizu's father is in jail; a person like him doesn't deserve to have kids.

After a few minutes, Y/N's cries dwindle until he's wetly sniffling. "...Y-Yuu...?"

"Yeah, Mimi?"

His breath hitches when he asks, "...w-w-was it my fault?"

The question gives him whiplash, causing his touch on Y/N's head to stop. Despite that, the taller keeps going. "...I-I must've d-done s-something for h-her to do it... r-right?"

"Oh, Mimi, no," Yuu cups his cheeks gently and their eyes make contact. "I don't care what anyone else says, none of it was your fault. She was a grown woman and you were a child. Y/N, you didn't ask for that."

Shimizu held the hands on his cheeks and tried not to cry. Why couldn't his father do this? He didn't ask for much, all he wanted was comfort. She stripped him of control of his life, trampled on his innocence, diminished any chance of a romantic relationship with a woman, and caused a deep fear of women and hospitals.

Years later, he still relives everything she did to her. He can't handle being called 'cute' in certain situations and being touched by healthcare workers.

Somedays, he can feel her lingering touch on his body, no matter how hard he scrubs his body