—012.

Absentmindedly, Shimizu stared at the calendar in his lap.

It was the fourth day of Golden Week, and he enjoyed the days with the volleyball team. In all truth, he didn't expect to.

Yes, his friends invited him, but he thought he'd feel left out because he was not on the team and was clueless about all things volleyball. A part of him is glad he decided to stay over with the team, even though the thought of sleeping with people he's not close with shook him to his core.

Sighing contently, he placed the calendar back in his bag and peeked outside the window. It was a few hours before dawn so the stars were still visible, illuminating the night sky beautifully.

Behind him, he heard the sound of fabric rustling and a deep murmur. "...Y/N? What time is it...?"

Shimizu turned around, his heart skipped a beat when he saw Azumane-senpai's bedhead. He calmed down, gulping as he mumbled, "...I-It's five in the m-morning, Azumane-senpai."

"Oh," the older hummed as he rubbed his eyes. "Why're you up?"

"...um..." he starts, "I...just finished my morning run so..."

Asahi looks around and grabs Binky with a calm expression. "Alright, I'm going to bed, but thanks for all the food you've been making. I know we aren't as close as you are with Suga or Daichi, but I'm... glad you're here."

Y/N's cheeks flush as he stutters over an answer. The older isn't wrong, he and Azumane-senpai don't talk as much as he does with the other third years— but he's a nice person.

He coughs into his hand with a nervous tone. "...t-thank you, Azumane-senpai. S-Sleep well."

Azumane-senpai warmly smiles before falling asleep, the cartoony smile of his dragon peeking over.

A warm feeling spreads through his chest as he stares into the sky.

It was a nice way to start his morning.

...

Typically, Y/N doesn't follow the players to the gym during practice hours. Kiyoko follows since she's the official team manager, and her brother stays behind to clean up and prepare lunch and dinner.

Coach Ukai brought up an arrangement that the siblings happily agreed to. Y/N liked mundane things like cooking and cleaning, and his sister was used to the team's antics.

Today, his sister asked him to follow since she'd need help with a surprise for the players.

Curious to what that entailed, he followed.

While the team began warm-ups, Kiyoko and Y/N stepped out to get their surprise.

"It's their uniforms." She said, "The box isn't that heavy, I just wanted to have some time with you." Kiyoko smiled and bumped their shoulders together. Y/N stares at his sister confusedly. "...w-why did you need to isolate us? W-We're s-siblings, surely p-people won't get suspicious, right?"

Kiyoko sighs as she picks up a box filled with covered uniforms. "Normally, yes, but a certain short libero has been taking up all your time and I'd hate to disrupt your dates."

His cheeks and the tips of his ears become red as his eyes widen. "...n-no! W-W-We haven't b-b-been going on d-dates!" His voice cracks as he continues. "...a-and I d-don't like him– w-we a-are j-j-j-just f-friends!"

The older giggles as a pleased smile forms on her face. "I never said you liked him!" She teases, enjoying how her brother gets flustered in return.

Y/N hides his face behind his hands, hoping the bush on his face isn't visible. He doesn't know why he turns into a blushing mess whenever his relationship with Shino-san is mentioned, it makes it seem like he's trying to hide something.

Which he isn't.

...He doesn't think so.

Noticing his dilemma, Kiyoko kisses his cheek. "Don't worry too much about the details of your relationship." She sighs delicately, "I know I tease you a lot, and so do the second-years, but I'm happy you're experiencing what being loved properly feels like. After everything you've been through, you deserve it, sweet."

They pause in front of the back entrance of the gym as Kiyoko stares at her baby brother fondly. "So, if you come up to me and say you and Nishinoya-kun are in a relationship, I won't be surprised. Maybe I'm reaching, but he really makes you happy, Y/N."

She drops the box and brushes a stray hair behind his ear. Softly, she mentions, "I haven't seen you this carefree in a long time." She kisses his forehead and flicks the tip of his nose. "You radiate when you're around Nishinoya. That radiance fits you, little brother."

Without another word, she grabs the box and heads into the gym, leaving her brother alone to mull over her words.

That radiance fits you, little brother.

Y/N swallows. Is this what Yuu meant when he said he was more than enough?

Was Shino-san's presence enough to make him radiate?

He thinks back to all the times he's been around Shino-san. The time Shino-san woke up early to meet him at school after Tanaka-san introduced them. When Yuu said– "Being with you makes me happy."– even though they just met for a few minutes the night before.

Or when Yuu gave him the nickname 'Mimi', and complimented his stutter. The stutter he hated for years, just for the shorter to call it cute like it was nothing.

Shimizu thinks of the time he initiated physical touch with someone other than his sister— that someone being Yuu. Though they struggled at first, he managed to hold Yuu's hand.

He won't forget the look of sheer adoration on his face. Yuu stared at him with such gentleness, as if he was as fragile as a flower— and as gorgeous as one.

Just like how he won't forget how flustered Yuu looked when he called him the coolest.

That same day, Yuu held his hand as the libero walked him home, calling him by his first name, Y/N, handsome and beautiful, and saying that all of him was pretty.

That night, Yuu asked him out on a date, and Y/N kissed him on the cheek.

He had never kissed anyone on the cheek before, and then Yuu came to take his first.

The times they spent together before May second. Lunch, time after school, and some weekends together.

It's almost as if Yuu lov—

Shimizu instantly shakes the thought out of his head and speed walks into the gym.

Even if Yuu liked him, he didn't like him that much.

He can't.

"—That era ended up leaving in defeat. Go out there and clear our school's reputation." Ukai-san says as the players reply earnestly, "Yes, Coach!!"

Yuu notices him instantly, sprinting over with stars in his eyes. "Mimi! Look, look! My uniform looks sick, right?"

Y/N stares at the childish joy on Yuu's face and can't help the way he smiles.

Yuu truly is beautiful when he's happy about something. The kind of happiness that makes him smile brightly, causing the tip of his nose to turn pink as he closes his eyes.

Noticing he's been daydreaming for too long, he coughs into his elbow and nods. "...y-your u-u-uniform suits you, Yuu."

"Right?! Oh, do you wanna go out to get lunch? It's the last day before the match with the cats, and I want you to have a break from cooking!"

Shimizu rubs his nape nervously. He wants to go to lunch with Shino-san but can't neglect his duties because his friend asked him to get food. "...I-I don't know... I-I still have to make—"

"Don't worry about lunch, Little Shimizu!" Tanaka-san interrupts with a boisterous laugh. "Kiyoko-san said she could do it! You two lovebirds focus on having fun!"

Y/N's face burns bright as he picks at his cuticle. Tanaka-san did not just call them lovebirds in front of the team.

"Watch it, Ryuu!" Shino-san warns, his voice rising a pitch like it always does when he gets flustered.

Ennoshita-san chimes in from the sidelines. "Be careful, Noya. You don't want to waste your energy before—"

"Shut up, Chikara! You guys are bullying me! Coach, can't they get kicked off the team for that?!"

The second-years turn to Coach Ukai as he shrugs. "Leave me out of your lover's quarrel."

The team erupts in laughter as Yuu whines in defeat. He kicks Tanaka-san, muttering something under his breath before locking eyes with Shimizu.

The two stare at their equally red faces before Y/N hastily mutters: "...s-sorry, I h-have to u-um, b-bathroom," He bows, almost tripping on nothing as he exits the gym.

He walks until he finds a tall tree to hide behind. His body slowly sinks to the floor as he grips the left side of his shirt, feeling his heart enthusiastically thump against his ribs.

The more he thinks of Yuu, the warmer his body feels and the faster his heart beats.

Y/N doesn't know why his body reacts so passionately when Yuu is brought up or why he wants to spend all his free time with the other.

Nishinoya Yuu is an enigma his brain has yet to solve. Every detail about him is etched into his mind— his favorite food, favorite color, birthday, and so much more. He knows he has a good memory, but he's never forgotten something Yuu told him.

He couldn't eat bell peppers as a kid, Y/N remembers, and he doesn't know why.

His heart aches when Yuu smiles at him, or when the shorter fixes his glasses before he can, when he compliments his hairstyles, or when he brushes a stray strand of hair behind his ear and smiles at him so sweetly.

It's so sweet it feels like his teeth will rot.

Y/N likes it when Yuu holds his hand, even though he hates physical touch with people who aren't his sister.

He likes it when Yuu calls him beautiful, even though he hates being complimented with feminine-aligned words.

He likes it when Yuu cuddles him to sleep, even though the only things he cuddles with at night are his cat and plushies.

Y/N likes it when Yuu stays by his side while he reads, even though he's not used to people enjoying his presence.

He likes so many things Yuu does, even though they break past every wall he's raised over the years, and to his surprise, he's okay with it.

More than okay— he desires it.

Every night, he hopes Yuu would ask him in that nervous voice if they could cuddle. Every morning, he hopes Yuu will greet him with a smile, ask him if he slept well, and tell him about his dreams.

Shimizu lets out a labored sigh and covers his red face with his arms.

He can't go a moment without thinking about the dual-colored libero, hoping to spend more and more time with the other. An eternity wouldn't be enough to satiate the need to know more about him.

In his eyes, Yuu is beautiful.

Everything about Yuu is beautiful. The way he gets hyperactive over things he's excited about, tends to ramble when he gets nervous, his voice goes up a pitch when he's flustered, or the way he cares about him.

Yuu cares like he's the most precious thing on the earth.

Yuu stares at him as if all the beauty and amazement of nature is captured inside the body of a sixteen-year-old track runner.

And Shimizu would be a dirty liar if he said he didn't like it.

The most beautiful constellation couldn't rival Yuu's beauty— Y/N is sure nothing can.

It's endearing how Yuu makes Y/N feel special. Yuu acts like a precious gem, to be loved and protected.

..Love?

He knows Yuu likes him, he said so the night they spilled their hearts to one another.

But does Yuu love him?

Better yet, does he love Yuu?

Love is a strong word and a stronger emotion.

He's never loved anyone romantically.

Shimizu imagines Yuu in his head— holding his hands, staring fondly before whispering those three words. "I love you, Y/N."

The thought sends a shiver down his spine as his lip quivers. He would like it if Yuu loved him—if the boy said those words to his face, but he knows the chance might be slim.

Despite how badly he wants it.

...

Eventually, his heart rate calms, and he forces himself to return to the gym. He sneaks in through the back door, making sure no one notices him before sitting next to his sister.

She stares at him through the corner of her eye but stays silent, opting to kiss his head and squeeze his hand.

He visibly relaxes at the gesture and lets his head fall on her shoulder, watching the team practice with a calm mind.

Their lunch d̶a̶t̶e̶ hangout would go okay.

...

The instant Ukai-san released the players for lunch, Shino-san sprinted to the equipment closet where Y/N was taking inventory. Noticing his focus, he decided to wait outside until he was done.

Shimizu stepped out a few minutes later, eyes widening in surprise when he saw Nishinoya-san on the floor.

"...S-Shino-san? Are y-you okay?"

He sprung up and beamed. "Yeah, was just waiting for you! Are you ready?"

Y/N chuckled lightly before nodding. Yuu intertwined their fingers together and stepped out of the gym.

...

Since lunch was Y/N's decision, he decided to take Yuu to Samurai Inn— his favorite restaurant.

It was a small family-run business, and the crowd there wasn't enough to make him anxious. He's never told anyone about the inn and no one at school seems to know it exists.

The owner recognizes him since he's a regular, but is surprised when he sees Yuu by his side.

"Shimizu!" Amanai-san welcomes, "Do you want the regular?"

He stops himself before he nods. Samurai Inn is a foreign restaurant, he isn't sure if Yuu would like anything on the menu since it wasn't typical Japanese food.

"...u-um, do you see anything you like, Yuu?"

The shorter nods. "I wanna try the sha— shawar— shawama...?"

Amanai-san chuckles. "The shawarma, alright, do you want chicken or beef?"

"Beef!"

Shimizu takes his regular lunch order of pita pockets, and Yuu insists on paying before remembering he didn't bring any money with him.

Gently, the taller pats his head as they sit down. "...t-there there, i-it's okay. Y-You can pay w-when we're on our o-official date, okay?"

The mention of their date causes Noya's cheeks to redden slightly as he nods. "I'll take you on the best date ever, I promise." He holds Y/N's hand across the table and squeezes it.

Y/N squeezes Yuu's hand back, as he realizes there aren't enough words in the Japanese or English dictionary to explain how deeply he feels for the other.

Shino-san talks about how practice went, and Shimizu intently listens, chest swelling whenever Yuu starts speaking with his hands. He's so expressive about everything, especially his undying desire to compliment Y/N any chance he can.

God, Yuu is an angel.

When their food arrives, Yuu's eyes practically pop out of their sockets. "Woah! Everything looks so good— can I try some of yours, Mimi?"

Shimizu nods, muttering a silent prayer before he starts eating.

Pita pockets are on his list of favorites from the restaurant. They're easy to eat, filling, and delicious.

As he takes a bite, he sneaks a glance at Nishinoya-san who looks like he's seen heaven. The libero swallows and starts tearing up. Just before Shimizu can start to panic, he says: "These are so good— I could start crying!"

'I think you've already started...' Shimizu thinks, cutting a piece of his pita pocket and poking it with a fork.

Before he could put it on Yuu's plate, the shorter opened his mouth, expecting Y/N to feed him.

His heart skips a beat, his cheeks turning red as he places the food in his mouth. Yuu, oblivious to his dilemma, starts kicking his feet under the table. "Yours is good too! Wait– let me feed you," he cuts a piece out of his shawarma and holds it expectantly.

Too invested to decline, he lets Yuu feed him, immediately enjoying his decision after seeing the happiness on the other's face.

Once turns into twice, turns into thrice, and before they know it, they take turns feeding each other, going as far as to wipe off any smears that may have gotten on their faces.

A warm breeze hits their skin as they exit the Samurai Inn. Their hands are intertwined—a habit they're becoming whenever they're together—and their smiles match.

"Thanks for lunch, Mimi!" Shino-san swings their hands, walking the path towards the school.

Y/N smiles meekly. "...i-it's no p-problem, Yuu. I-I'm glad you enjoyed yourself."

They stay in a comfortable silence until they see the gym. Their lunch break ended in fifteen minutes so other than Shoyou and Tobio, no one would be nearby. The two sit upstairs, in a corner where the two first-years wouldn't see them.

In their world, Y/N sat next to Yuu, bodies pressing against one another, and laying his head on the other's shoulder. He tends to be sleepy after eating, and a fifteen or ten-minute nap sounded good.

Noticing his drowsiness, Yuu hesitantly wraps a hand around the other's body and pulls him in closer. Y/N lets out a sound of comfort, adjusting his head to lay on the shorter's thighs so he could listen to his heartbeat.

Thump, thump, thump, thump.

Why was his heartbeat so fast? Was Yuu nervous?

Did he make him nervous?

Sleep dissipates from his form as he sits up, staring at Yuu's bashful face. "...Y-Yuu...?"

His face got redder as he stumbled over his words. Shyly, he mumbles, "You make me timid."

Bewilderment takes over Y/N's features. "...I m-m-make you t-timid?"

Yuu shakily nods as if it hurts to admit it. He groans, kicking his feet and hiding his face. "Every time we touch, my heart always goes crazy, and I didn't want you to find out because I wanted to look cool in front of you..."

Shimizu takes a moment to render his words before giggling, which causes Yuu to blush harder. "This is so embarrassing..."

Delicately, he pries Yuu's hands away from his face to see his expression. His eyes are glazed, his cheeks are red along with the tips of his ears and nose, and there's an adorable pout on his lips.

It's cute.

All of Yuu is cute.

"...I-I don't m-mind, you know?" He takes Yuu's right hand, his heart beating in his ears as he clumsily kisses his wrist.

The action surprises Yuu, as evidenced by how wide his eyes are and how the blush spreads to his hairline and down to his collarbone. "...n-no matter what, y-you'll always be cool to me, Y-Yuu."

Noya swallows thickly, voice laced with affection when he asks, "Really?"

Y/N nods. "...r-r-really. Always and f-forever, Yuu."

If Y/N thinks about it hard enough, it sounds like a wedding vow.

"I really, really want to hug you right now. Can I?" Nishinoya blurts randomly, causing Y/N's cheeks to flush.

He's hesitant— he only started hugging Kiyoko this year, but every nerve in his body yearns for Yuu's touch. Against his rational mind, he nods and Yuu immediately wraps his hands around his neck, breathing heavily as the warmth of his cheeks presses against his body.

Y/N waits, feeling his heartbeat accelerate as he slowly wraps his hands around Yuu's waist.

The uncomfortableness doesn't come, and neither do the unpleasant memories. Hugging Yuu feels nice— it feels amazing.

"I really like you, Y/N." He