𝟎𝟎𝟖, 𝗂𝗇𝖽𝖾𝗌𝖼𝗋𝗂𝖻𝖺𝖻𝗅𝖾 𝖿𝖾𝖾𝗅𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌
𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐈𝐍': 𝖺𝗅𝗐𝖺𝗒𝗌 𝖻𝗒 daniel caesar

𝐣𝐮𝐝𝐞𝐚'𝐬 𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰

i knew it was a bad idea to throw a kick-back knowing we had practice early the next morning, but it was too late to cancel and i would've did anything to see imani.

but now the pain in my head ached and my body felt sore from the drinks i had the previous night, i was slumped on the couch rubbing my eyes as they yanked the blinds open.

"we have practice in a hour, get yall ass up", dom said in a stern tone already dressed in her cardinal shorts with the matching practice jersey on top picking up the red solo cups scattered around.

even if she didn't approve of the kick-back she still had a good time but she always had properties straight, hence to the reason why she was the only dressed in ready for practice.

i had realize it was easy to convince them to throw the kick-back all i had to do make it seem like it was their idea and they went along with it. "oh my god that sun is so bright", malia groaned draping her arm over her eyes to block the sun.

i sighed as i sat up straight on the couch looking down at my appearance dressed in the white cropped top along with the black baggy pants the white nike socks hugging my feet along my white air force rest by the side of the couch.

my classic bun had slipped and my hair rested on my shoulders as fly aways danced around, "here", dom said throwing my practice jersey uniform into my lap.

"if yall can't party and then get yall ass up the next day or we will NOT be throwing another party", she said a strict tone. we all sat around the couch too tired to argue with her.

in another 20 mins, we all made it out refreshed and dressed in our practice uniforms passing around the tylenol bottle chugging down water to ease the pain before practice.

"i know i was drunk but juju... you were DRUNK girl", kennedy laughed as we walked down the sidewalk on the way to practice. it was still early after a long weekend of partying it was really nobody outside expect for some students who was dumb enough to schedule classes on a sunday morning.

i shake my head at her a bit embarrassed, i was never meant to drink last night because if i wanted to talk to imani i needed to be as sober as possible.

all night i had stood close by the door waiting for her to arrive but i had got pulled into a game of cup ping pong with malia and lost track, after the game was around i looked around for imani.

— last night at the kick-back

after the ball splash into the last cup malia cheered in excitement wrapping her arms around me drunk but happy with our win in cup ping pong. i chuckled slightly at her hugging her back before i turnt my eyes to the door mumbling a shit.

"good game", the stranger across from me and malia spoke, i thanked them unwrapping my arms away from malia. "you okay?", i asked her and she nodded her head bringing the red solo cup to her lips. "you sure?", i asked.

"yeah yeah im good, im gonna go talk to my friends okay", she told me stumbling her away towards them but when i saw them take her into her arms i let out a relief.

i made my way through the thick crowd of people, i never meant to be far away from the door but never to close. i wanted to see when imani walked in or if she ever did but now that i had left my spot i was never sure.

"OH SHIT ITS JUJU", a familiar voice yelled catching my attention. i snapped my head towards it to see elijah and aaliyah, if they were here then imani had to be here... right? but she wasn't with them.

i walked over towards them quickly smiling at them, "hi", i greeted them. elijah was clearly too drunk to function but aaliyah looked like she can handle what she had.

"this is an amazing kick back, thank you for inviting us girl", aaliyah mentioned . "no problem im glad you enjoying it... you too elijah", i said. i didn't want to pester or come off rude but i needed to know. "where's imani?", i asked stuffing my hands into my pockets leaning on the hells of my feet.

elijah nodded as he pulled the red solo cup to his lips taking a sip of the unknown drink inside of the cup, "we don't know, she was with us earlier but then she went off", aaliyah shrugged.

so she was here but not with them, who could she be with???

"last thing I saw her she went outside with some girl", elijah said almost as if he could read my mind. i let out an slight oh, my cheeks dropping in disappointment and my feet landed on the floor with a small plat sound. "but im sure she's enjoying to the party too", Aaliyah said trying to reassure me.

i nodded softly pulling my bottom lip into my mouth with a slight teeth pull, i walked away heading towards outside but before i could even walk out the door i saw imani sitting on the porch. a big smile plastered on her laugh and the sound of her laugh rang through my ears as she sat close to a ginger loc haired girl.

oh.
shit.
fuck.

before i could register what i saw i was already drowning my second shot because whatever i felt when i saw imani and that girl wasn't something i wanted to feel.

the feeling was indescribable but it was something i never felt before, it was sadness and anger all mixed together to a certain extent but i was more confused on why i felt that way.

i had hidden my feelings into the drinks that night but now that had wore off i was feeling them all over again. "yeah you was going crazy on the drinks", rayah laughed along with kennedy.

i knew my teammates would never judge me or make me feel uncomfortable about last night but i wondered what everybody else thought of me last night, that wasn't me.

"let's not talk it...", i mentioned hoping they'll move on from the conversation which they did. when we made it to practice i placed my things down into my locker and pulled out my phone.

the red battery flashed on my phone hinting that it was dead, i sighed as i digged around my bag looking for a charger. "shit does anybody have a charger i can borrow?", i asked around.

"yeah here", dom answered handing me the charger, i thanked her and pulled in my phone quickly before i could even look at it. our coaches walked calling us all in.

amy other day i would've stayed after practice and worked on something but i was far too tired from the kick-back. i needed a hot shower and long nap to recover along with finishing my papers that were due tonight.

it was around seven when i finally had the chance to lay down in my tight twin size bed with the lights low and check my phone, my heart dropped as i read the message that was delivered nearly thirteen hours ago.

𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐢

𝗉𝗅𝖾𝖺𝗌𝖾 𝗆𝖺𝗇𝗂
𝗂𝗆 𝗌𝗈𝗋𝗋𝗒
𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎？
𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗆𝗂𝗌𝗌𝖾𝖽 𝗉𝗋𝖾－𝖼𝖺𝗅 𝖺𝗀𝖺𝗂𝗇
𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋 𝗍𝖺𝗅𝗄 𝗍𝗈 𝗆𝖾 𝖺𝗀𝖺𝗂𝗇

𝗂𝗆 𝗌𝗈𝗋𝗋𝗒
𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗀𝗈𝗇𝗇𝖺 𝗂𝗀𝗇𝗈𝗋𝖾 𝗆𝖾 𝖿𝗈𝗋𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋
𝟣𝟧𝟦 𝗅𝖺𝗇𝗇𝖾𝗒 𝗅𝖺𝗇𝖾， 𝗂𝖿 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋𝖾 𝗌𝗍𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗈 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗄𝗂𝖼𝗄𝖻𝖺𝖼𝗄．

𝖼𝖺𝗇 𝗐𝖾 𝗍𝖺𝗅𝗄？
𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥

"fuck", i curse as i the read message. "fuck fuck fuck", i went on as i sat up in my bed, quickly gathering myself to send a response.

𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐢

𝗉𝗅𝖾𝖺𝗌𝖾 𝗆𝖺𝗇𝗂
𝗂𝗆 𝗌𝗈𝗋𝗋𝗒
𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎？
𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗆𝗂𝗌𝗌𝖾𝖽 𝗉𝗋𝖾－𝖼𝖺𝗅 𝖺𝗀𝖺𝗂𝗇
𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋 𝗍𝖺𝗅𝗄 𝗍𝗈 𝗆𝖾 𝖺𝗀𝖺𝗂𝗇
𝗂𝗆 𝗌𝗈𝗋𝗋𝗒
𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗀𝗈𝗇𝗇𝖺 𝗂𝗀𝗇𝗈𝗋𝖾 𝗆𝖾 𝖿𝗈𝗋𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋

𝟣𝟧𝟦 𝗅𝖺𝗇𝗇𝖾𝗒 𝗅𝖺𝗇𝖾， 𝗂𝖿 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋𝖾 𝗌𝗍𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗈 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗄𝗂𝖼𝗄𝖻𝖺𝖼𝗄．

𝖼𝖺𝗇 𝗐𝖾 𝗍𝖺𝗅𝗄？
𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥

𝐭𝐨𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝟕:𝟒𝟓 𝐩𝐦

𝗂𝗆 𝗌𝗈𝗋𝗋𝗒， 𝗂 𝗃𝗎𝗌𝗍 𝗌𝖺𝗐 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌．
𝗆𝗒 𝗉𝗁𝗈𝗇𝖾 𝖽𝗂𝖾𝖽
𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗒𝖾𝗌， 𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝗍𝗈 𝗍𝖺𝗅𝗄
𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘢𝘵     𝟕:𝟓𝟓𝐩𝐦

𝗈𝗄𝖺𝗒，𝗂𝗌 𝖺𝖿𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝗉𝗋𝖾 𝖼𝖺𝗅 𝗍𝗎𝖾𝗌𝖽𝖺𝗒 𝖿𝗂𝗇𝖾？

𝗒𝖾𝖺𝗁， 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍𝗌 𝗈𝗄𝖺𝗒．
𝗂 𝗄𝗇𝗈𝗐 𝖺 𝗌𝗉𝗈𝗍 𝗈𝗇 𝖼𝖺𝗆𝗉𝗎𝗌 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗐𝖾 𝗌𝗂𝗍 ＆ 𝗍𝖺𝗅𝗄 𝖺𝗍

𝗈𝗄𝖺𝗒．

𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗇𝗄 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗍𝖺𝗅𝗄𝗂𝗇𝗀 ， 𝗂𝗍 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒 𝗆𝖾𝖺𝗇𝗌 𝖺𝗅𝗈𝗍．

𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗂𝗌𝗇𝗍 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗒𝗈𝗎．
𝗍𝗍𝗒𝗅

so there it was after five years and three months, on tuesday i would finally sit and talk with imani, but the feeling i was suppose to feel didn't rise.

this was suppose to good, i was suppose to be happy about this because i was a step closer to getting my mani back but now it felt nothing like that.

it felt as if she slipping through my fingers sinking deeper and deeper to a grasp I couldn't hold, it felt like instead taking a step closer it was taking a step back.

or maybe i was overthinking all of this but then again she said this isn't for me, she wasn't talking to me because she wanted to but because she needed to... for her.

that feeling was back from the night at the party, that sadness and anger building back up because as much as i wanted to ignore it, she wasn't my mani... and she hasn't been for these past five years.

fuck.
next tuesday.