𝟎𝟎𝟔, 𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝖼𝗋𝖺𝗐𝗅 𝖻𝖺𝖼𝗄 𝗁𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝗍𝗈 𝗁𝖾𝗋
𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐈𝐍': 𝟤𝟢𝟤𝟢𝟣𝟤𝟢𝟥 𝖻𝗒 mac demarco

𝐣𝐮𝐝𝐞𝐚'𝐬 𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰

you know that quote that's going around that's like "have you gotten everything you wanted?", and then it follows "no, but i got very close once". that's exactly how i felt about imani.

i started to think what if we stayed friends, what if i never hurt her feelings, what if we never went to that park that day, what if that fight had never broke out or what if those girls never talked about me.

everything that could've been avoided that day ran through my mind because maybe she'll still be here in my life but then what if none of that stuff never happened and i still wouldn't have imani, maybe our separation was meant to be and us finding each other was too.

as such as that post kept me sane for the past couple of weeks, now it was starting to drive me crazy because it was giving me some false hope, hope that ill have mani again.

every tuesday i made sure to be the first one in pre-calculus taking a seat in the back so therefore whenever mani sat ill be able to see her from my spot, but she stopped coming after the third week, i wondered why.

for now my what if's and false hope about her had to held on pause because my attention was needed on the court, i had to be 100% focus because i still had dreams to turn into a reality and i had no choice but to make history here at USC.

"be realistic ju", my mama told me when i decided to attend USC, for years USC women's basketball has been in the shadows and rarely even noticed, placed in the back of the shelf but why be realistic when I knew I could do it. Of course I couldn't do it alone but I'll help, USC women's basketball will be known again and I couldn't make that happen if i wasn't focused.

practiced ended about three hours ago but i still stayed around working on drills that could help me improve myself individually which would contribute great help to the team.

i dribble the ball a couple of times as i stand on the free throw line, fixing my stance, holding the ball in my hands and i release making it  with a comforting swish sound and the satisfaction of all net. i practice free throw shots for a while until i felt like it was good.

wiping the sweat beads off my forehead with the ends of my shirt, I wrap up my session and leaving the practice facility. it was quiet and dark out, most students inside draining themselves in homework on this wednesday night and I wasn't too far behind from them.

i wonder what she was doing? how she was doing? if she was okay? if she hated me? did she miss me? does she regret it?

all questions I couldn't answer for myself, all questions that i felt like i needed to know but all questions I didn't deserve to know because im the one who walked away.

but i needed to know.

"so what did she do? just like it?", a deep male voice stumbled upon me, a group of three shadows hid in the dark sitting amongst each other at the picnic tables.

"its from five years ago she either made a mistake and liked it or she purposely did that either way she was stalking you... and that means something right?", another voice said belonging to a female. "i don't know...it's not worth getting my hopes up over.", her voice struck me, it sounded the same as five years ago but more firm.

imani.

if life wasn't throwing me signs and my guardian angel wasn't violently throwing me towards me her... then what else could it be?

what do i do?
continue walking or go up to them?

walk.
no.

"don't look behind you but... i swear to god i see juju Watkins... like the juju Watkins", the male from the table said and immediately both of the girl heads turned.

ok, so i had no other choice but to go now.

"holy shit, it's juju watkins", a girl squealed but i knew it wasn't mani because the last person she wanted to see was me, i wonder if her friends knew that i was the person they were talking about but they couldn't have the way they seemed so excited.

i walk towards the picnic table anyway because i was going to the lose this opportunity to see her even if she didn't want to see me, not again. "she's coming, she's coming", they whispered but obviously they were poorly at it.

"h-hi", i spoke trying to sound giddy but my voice cracked, i was nervous. "oh my god hi, im aaliyah", the girl introduced herself her long knotless braids ends nearly touching the ground dressed in a oversized spongebob hoodie that dropped to her knees.

"im elijah", the boy spoke after her showing his pearly whites letting an chewed toothpick hang from his mouth while his hands fiddled with the ends of his cardigan.

they both turnt looking over at imani, my mani... she look so different but the same either way she was still as beautiful as i remember, she avoided eye contact with me and i could still she was also nervous by the way she bite of her bottom lip peeling the skin off it... old habit.

"don't be rude...", aaliyah whispered underneath towards imani wanting her to introduced herself to me, so they didn't know. "it's okay... i already know imani", i told them and they all snapped their eyes towards me even imani.

"f-from pre cal...", i said clearing the air, i had just met them I didn't want them to tear my head off already. you could hear the faint sound of imani letting out a relief, she had the opportunity to tell them but she didn't.

"it was nice meeting you all, hope to see you around more often", I tell them. "sure, you're always welcome to hang around if you like", aaliyah added.

"no!", imani spoke for the first time, they turned and looked her crazy, "no... like im sure she's busy with basketball and school and all that stuff, we wouldn't want to bother you", she said in a more calm tone still avoiding eye contact with me.

she couldn't even look at me and even worse she didn't want me around, and as much as it shouldn't i made me feel so type of but I was hurt more than anything.

but i couldn't, I couldn't walk away from her again, so if she didn't look at me or want me around her not, I wasn't walking away.

I'll make her look at me, I'll make her want me around, I'll make her my mani again because as much as I try to deny it... she's all I want.

"nope", I say popping the p, "I'm free, matter of fact my team is hosting a little party yall should come", I say inviting them to a nonexistent party but if it meant getting around imani then it'll be a party.

"really!?", aaliyah said shocked to be invited, not to a party but a party hosted by us, which was again a lie but not for long. i nodded with a smile, "of course, the more the merrier, how about i text imani the location", i hinted.

maybe i was pushing it but i was determined, she finally looked up at me like i had grew two heads and as if i stated that pitch perfect; which was her favorite movie was the worst movie ever.

which it was but she loved it, so did i.

elijah leaned over the table whispering into imani air along with aaliyah in her other ear, as the pair parted ways away from her ears she sighed and looked up at me her soft brown orbs.

"okay", was all she said and I couldn't help but smile. "okay", I say in agreement, i hand my phone to Aaliyah and she hands the phone to imani.

we all sat in silence as we waited for her type in the digits, she handed the phone back and i smiled a little, "just to make sure it's right, ill send a message now", i said wanting to make sure it wasn't some fake number.

im sorry imani

i sent and her phone dinged beside her signally she gave me the right number, "okay", i said finally. "see yall around", i walked off letting out a deep breath I didn't even know i was holding in.

what the fuck was I doing???

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰
thanks for all the comments, votes and all your love towards this. it's greatly appreciated and encourages me to write more than anything !

sorry this is unedited but it'll be edited by the end of the day ❤️