SAEMI'S POV

My eyes adjusted from the light as I try to enhance my sight. I looked around and saw Baekhyun sleeping on the couch on the corner making my eyes widen in horror.

What is he doing here?

Does he already know?

Of course, idiot! He's here and it would be so stupid if he doesn't know the reason why you're here.

My other conscience said.

I couldn't move a muscle. My shoulders and my back are killing and ending with me not able to sit up straight.

Did I fall on the ground hard?

Why is does it ache like this? Another reason entered my mind.

Did Dr. Kang proceeded with the surgery we were talking about?

We haven't talked about the exact schedule but the thought of undergoing the surgery just frightened me. My idea of undergoing the surgery meant that I might just lose my life. There was a 50-50 chance that I may not survive but surprisingly, I was even able to wake up.

I tried to reach for the glass of water from the side table but I accidentally shove the water bottle causing it to fall on the floor. Baekhyun suddenly sat up in shock of the impact of the bottle and instantly looked for whatever caused it. When he saw me, I smiled apologetically for disturbing his sleep. His slanted eyes rounded at the sight of me.

"Oh my god.." Baekhyun ran outside and called for the nurse who I just saw passing through the hallway.

"Nurse! My wife's awake!" Wife?

Since when did I become his wife?

When he went back in, he walked to my side and held my hand. "Thank God, you're okay.." He even kissed my knuckles that caused electricity running down my spine at the contact.

What the hell just happened?

Oh, it's the static.

"Do you need anything? Does anything hurt? Are you alright? Do you want me to lift your pillow? What do you feel, Saemi-ya? Come on, tell me." If only I could smack him, I would do it a hundred times. He's asking me to talk when he doesn't even give me the chance to speak!

"Then let me talk, for pete's sake, Byun!" He was stunned at my reply and let out a chuckle making me roll my eyes.

"My throat feels dry. Please get me water." I cleared my throat. 

He quickly took the glass of water I was trying to get a while ago and lift it to my mouth to help me drink it even if it wasn't really necessary. I can lift my hand and make myself gulp the water on my own but he's doing this as if I'm a disabled person.

"Does your throat feel dry still? Do you still want more?" I finished the water in the glass and I nodded at his question. Baekhyun pick up the bottle that fell earlier and poured water on the glass then lifted the glass again to my lips.

His eyes are focused on me and I couldn't help but feel conscious with the way he looks at me gulping down the water. When I finished the water, I felt my lips dripping water and I was about to lick it when Baekhyun wiped it off with his thumb that caught me off guard.

He went to the side table and placed the glass on it before getting an apple from the basket and started peeling it off with a knife. I watched him as he does that.

The door creak open and Dr. Kang came walking through it with medical records in his hand and a nurse beside him. The nurse checked my vital signs and Dr. Kang asked me how I was feeling and if I feel anything odd.

"My back and shoulders are aching, samcheon." I winced at the feeling.

"That's a normal after effect to the surgery you went through, Saemi." He replied and left me in a daze.

"So I really did the surgery.." I whispered to myself, trying to make sense everything.

"We had to build a fast decision or else you wouldn't make it." Samcheon said and I nodded subconsciously before looking at him.

"Thank you for making that decision, Samcheon." He smiled back.

"When will she be discharged, doc?" Baekhyun queries.

"Next week," I sighed in relief.

"But the full recovery takes about 6 to 12 weeks."

It wasn't a surprise for me, really. I've stayed in this hospital longer than anyone else. This hospital has been my second home.

"You have to be a good girl so that you can recover fast. The taking of your medicine is already scheduled and there will be nurses in charge to make you take them. No buts, Lee Saemi." My lips were closed and I was left with no choice but to follow Samcheon. I guess more than 3 pills are gonna be added now.

I turned to look at Baekhyun who was already finished peeling off the skin of the apples and made me eat a slice by lifting it to my mouth which I gladly took.

"I see you have your personal nurse with you, Saemi." I snickered at Dr. Kang's comment and nudged Baekhyun who was giving me a frown.

"Many fans are dreaming to be in your place just so I can feed them, chippy." He plasters a smirk.

"I would gladly let them have my place. It would be an honor to finally have this disease out of my system." I said kiddingly. I was expecting a light reaction from Baekhyun but his face turned into a frown again. I didn't want to sound bitter with my disease but it seems that it was much of an issue for him.

Samcheon cleared his throat and I lowered my head.

"I suggest you bring Shin Hae with you when you return home next week so that she can assist you. Is that okay with you, Saemi-ya?" I only nodded in reply and kept silent until he and the nurse left.

"Saemi.." Baekhyun called and I look up to meet his eyes that are conveying a lot of things I can't name. 

Do you feel pity, Byun?

"Don't you feel upset?" I asked. He kept silent, his eyebrows twitching as he tries to get what I was getting to.

"That you have to deal with someone who has a weak heart. Someone who can't—"

"Please, stop putting yourself down. I don't like it when you badmouth yourself. Because I don't even have the guts to do that to you."

"You should have! You have all the reasons to badmouth me, Byun."

"It's not your fault that you have that, chippy. Stop doing that to yourself." My eyebrows furrowed.

"Doing what?" I spat.

"Talking bad about yourself!" I was taken aback when he raised his voice.

"Sure, you have that disease. But what's wrong with that? I don't have any reason to speak bad of you, Saemi. Because you matter. You don't know how much you matter. That's the real pity. You're being blinded by your disease."

His words struck me in the heart. I am being blinded by my disease. I've always felt insecure. Insecure of what other people can do that I can't. Insecure of the things I lack especially a healthy heart. It's better that I tell them everything before other people could.

"But I won't let you."

"Chippy, I'm not gonna leave you even after you realize how much you matter."

saemi does have that unspoken depression and anxiety eating her. she has spoken ill of herself when she was with min hyung before in chapter 9 (i think) and baekhyun noticed it.

mood swings are also part of recovering the surgery. i looked it up lol.