"Can you be my boyfriend?"

The words you spoke earlier in the library echoed through his head. Kunikuzushi thought it was stupid but somehow, it really hit hard. He cursed to himself. Why? Why would he want to get back with you when he knows how bad it would be for him?

His mind reminisces about how the both of you got together officially. It was sunset after school, and the two of you were dismissed a little later than usual due to student council things you had to handle.

In those rare occasions where the both of you would end up being alone, he could muster up the strength to ask you questions that may give away how he felt towards you. He asked if he could walk you home and you agreed with a large grin and no second thoughts. 

The both of you walked along the streets, strawberry ice cream in hand as you told him to stop by the ice cream truck you two passed by. The both of you were talking, giggling, and all-in-all, just letting loose. It was those times when he had felt the weight of the world fall out of existence from his shoulders. 

The way you smiled with a toothy grin, you hated it so much but he thought that it could compete with the brightness of the sun. The wind flew through your hair lightly as you looked at him with your wide and pure eyes, the color they were tainted in not going unnoticed to his own indigo ones. Rays of the sun painted your skin with hues of yellow and orange. Yellow has never looked so good on anyone before.

"You're staring." you giggled at him, a joking smirk on your face as he rolled his eyes before looking away. You pouted before complaining about him looking away. "Hey! Don't look away!"

It was perfect. Maybe if he had just been patient enough to stay as what you guys were, he wouldn't have to go through that much pain. But he wanted you to himself. Even that, he was too afraid to admit.

"Every fucking day, I wished you were mine," he mumbled, looking at a polaroid picture he had kept in his wallet. Smiles that painted your face defined how you two were undeniably happy when you were just friends. Was it the label? Was it because you two felt like a responsibility to each other? He started doubting everything again, searching for where it went wrong.

The relationship he had with you could be compared to a cigarette. Once you've had a taste of it, you couldn't get yourself to stop. It was so addicting yet you'd know to yourself that it comes with a risk of danger. It was similar to how Scaramouche never wanted to let you go the moment you proclaimed to him that you were his and he was yours. He thought that it was good for the both of you, no harm done. He was wrong. So wrong.

"Where were you?" he raised a brow at your figure. You were wearing a black mini dress which was now disheveled along with your messy hair as you were carrying your heels.

"I was out with Yoimiya and the others." you tiredly said, clearly too drunk and drained to have a conversation with anyone else.

"Out? To the club?" he sat on the chair in front of you, legs and hands crossed as he had his brows furrowed. "You didn't even ask permission from me." 

"Why should I? You did the same a week ago and I didn't say anything about it!" you argued back. It was petty but it was the truth. You found out from Xiao, one of Childe's acquaintances that the ginger and Scaramouche were spotted in a random club. You didn't even know how Childe managed to make Scara accompany him.

"Okay, whatever. I'm sorry about that but you shouldn't be doing the same-"

"Oh so if you do it, it's okay?" that night was where it started.

It wasn't just because you felt as though he was being unfair. It was because your relationship had just become a complete cycle of pettiness. He would do something bad, you'd do it to rub it in his face. If you did something bad, he'd do the same as you would.

You two were petty with each other. Petty, over-protective, too many arguments, and not enough communication. In the beginning, it was just small quarrels that would eventually be handled with rationality. At the end of the day, you two would still end up within each other's presence but as time passed by, you two were slowly falling apart. Those days of joy gone by quickly without you two even realizing. 

"Really? You'd go that far Kunikuzushi?!" you were standing in front of him, still wearing your coat and your bag hanging on your shoulder.

"Can you just please stop and listen to me first!" he shouted back. He had some nerve getting mad when he had no right to be shouting at you.

"No! God damn it Kuni, I saw the picture. That bitch showed me herself! I can't believe you'd do that!" the argument was just filled with shouts, yells, and anger. No tears included, your heart was angry. It was pounding with rage, not breaking with pain.

"You'd believe some other woman's words but you wouldn't even let me explain?!" he scoffed, giving you a sarcastic giggle as you only glared at him like you wanted to pierce his body with lots and lots of spheres. 

"Explain? So you could just end up lying to my face? My god, do I look like an idiot to you Kunikuzushi?!" you stomped your foot like a child as you shouted some more. At this point, you didn't give a damn if the old couple next to his apartment heard your screams and the crashing of things anymore.

"You know what? I don't give even give a fuck anymore." he raised his hands, showing that he gives up. You could only scoff at him. So he was just gonna give up? He didn't even deny it anymore. 

On the other hand, though, you knew to yourself that you should just let him explain. For once, you'd let your pride down and ask him for forgiveness and let him explain but it was too late for regrets.

"I'm so sick of this!" his voice echoed throughout the room as your eyes stared at him, horrified at the way he seemed to act like a different person.

"That's it?! You're just gonna give up on me?" being terrified of him didn't stop you to be any more stubborn or irritable though. Was he not gonna stop yelling? You were already willing to let him explain anyways!

"This isn't even about me kissing other girls while I'm drunk anymore." he pinches the bridge of his nose as the creases on his forehead determined the fact that he was pissed already. "Y/n, this isn't working anymore and you know that."

"Okay, you knew that long ago but you still decided to stay. What's with the sudden change?" you almost scoffed as you looked at him with a fiery gaze while you stood right in front of the door of his apartment.

"Change? Y/n, that change has affected us long enough. It's bound for us to separate and I know that it's the best for the both of us to end this stupid thing you call a relationship." with the last words that left his mouth, so did he start to march his way up to you and push you outside of the door.

"Kuni, wait! Please-" you couldn't even bid him a proper goodbye when he slammed the door shut right in front of your face. He sighed in pain, it was so painful in his heart and he felt as though his heart was stabbed with a knife but he had to do this. You two weren't healthy for each other anymore. If you guys had continued to be together, you'd just end up swallowing each other into so much more toxicity. 

After that incident, he's never heard from you ever again. Somehow, he still expected you to show up at the university but it had been a considerably concerning amount of days but you weren't still around.

It was from Xiao that he learned about your accident and how you were in a coma at the hospital. He wasn't going to lie, the moment he heard that he wanted to run to the hospital and break into your room but some part of him couldn't. Truth be told, he somewhat blamed himself for your accident. Was it because you two broke up on the same day? But it wasn't his fault that you were a terrible driver! So why did he feel guilty when you looked at him with such curious and wide eyes, wondering and trying to recall any memories you had with him?

Your memories with him. Maybe it was for the better that you forgot about all of those.