Thank you @sejalkhandelwal_ for the poster.  Is that Jake's motorbike? 

Chapter 83: Two instead of one

I've had some embarrassing moments in my life.

Though I have to admit, this is probably in my top three.

There's that time I blurted out to Luke's parents that we kissed, or when I packed honey on a camping trip with bears or the time I puked on my boyfriend...

OK, top five.

I really need to rethink my life

"Why is she not moving?" Charlotte blurted out.

I snapped out of my daydream and back in reality. I was standing outside the Dawson's window, with my phone ringing loudly in my hand. I had just been caught hiding outside their window, while they were talking privately about my family life. Now they all stared at me as I stood still.

I slowly picked up the phone. "Hi."

That sums it up nicely.

Mr Dawson's expression looked like he was about to explode in anger. I tried not to show fear on my face. The rest of his family was looking confused.

"Millie," Mrs Dawson intervened, trying to calm her husband down, "Why don't you come inside?"

I glanced at Luke, doubtfully. I'd much rather stay outside where there were witnesses.

"Uh... ok," I agreed to come in, keeping my eyes on Luke. He's like a center of gravity to me right now.

I gripped the windowsill and raised my leg over-

"What are you doing?!" Mrs Dawson panicked and calmed her voice, "Come in through the front door, Millie."

"Oh," I lowered my leg and mumbled, "Sorry, I thought it was more convenient this way..."

I didn't think it was possible to feel more embarrassed, and yet, here I was. A new low.

Without saying anything else, I walked around the flower patch. I could hear my heart thudding in my chest. Luke had opened the front door for me and was waiting for me to reach him.

I saw those dreaded balloons still hanging out at the entrance.

"Sorry," I whispered to Luke as I brushed past his body, "This is meant to be your day."

A day to celebrate his achievements. But here we were, talking about our parents' mistakes.

Luke's fingers wrapped around my wrist and pulled me into him. His parents were in the other room, but he didn't seem to care.

"It was never about me," he whispered, while his hand trailed down the back of my shirt.

"Your hand..." I whispered, blushing, "You know I can't concentrate when you..."

He smirked and stepped back. He was so hot, it created such an air of temptation around him. I tried to focus on what he just said, but I was struggling.

His blue eyes looked from me at his parents. And I finally understood: today was a party his parents threw for themselves, to showcase their son's success to their friends.

I'd like to think Mrs Dawson had the best intentions for her son. But Luke doesn't like balloons and a sheet cake. The guy doesn't like cake.

He's also wanted to keep quiet about his college acceptance from the beginning. Luke is actually private, despite all the attention around him.

**

Luke stood behind me as I entered the living room. He said, "Can you back up, mom? You're freaking her out."

Mrs Dawson backed up, trying to make me feel more at ease, and she went all the way back to where Charlotte was standing. Charlotte raised a hand to me in greeting, though her face was somber. She could see the emotional turmoil I was in.

No one said anything, but everyone had their eyes on me. Like I was some kind of zoo animal.

"You wanted my mom's number?" I asked Mr Dawson, owning up to how I'd listened in on their conversation from outside.

Mr Dawson's eyes glazed over me and focused on his favorite son, "It's your idea, son. Do you really want to step deeper into this?"

I stood there, with my left arm holding onto my right, and muttered, "You have my dad's number so you might as well take my mom's."

Charlotte snorted, "Ooh shiii.... sorry," she piped down when she saw everyone's reaction.

The tension was so thick you could cut it with Luke's blunt cake knife.

"Mr Dawson," I said politely, breaking the silence, "I'd like to know why you called my dad."

Mr Dawson peered at his wife for backup, "I'm not into this kind of drama. I don't want to involve myself in-"

"You're involved, dad," Luke shut him up.

The silence returned.

Then Mrs Dawson tried to lighten the mood and stepped forward, until she remembered that her son had told her to step back. So she stepped back and said, "Why don't you come sit on the couch, Millie? We don't want to be rude and you're a guest here."

She extended her arm like she was a conductor, inviting me to sit down. I went to the couch, though Luke didn't join me. He continued to stand and I could see that he wanted to keep the pressure on his dad.

Charlotte came to sit down next to me, providing me with some kind of comfort.

Reluctantly, Mr Dawson turned his chair round so he was facing all of us. He had to know that this situation could only be diffused by him talking. I looked up at him but couldn't hold eye contact for long.

I ended up looking past him, staring out the window.

"You don't know the whole story," Mr Dawson told me, "You were just a kid when everything happened. And I know you're looking to me for answers, but I don't have them. This is about your mom and your dad, not us. We're not the villains here."

But my parents are?

I continued to stare out the window, and said, "It sounds like you know a lot more than nothing."

Mr Dawson acknowledged awkwardly, "It's not my place to tell you. This is your parents' story and you're their child. I can't interfere in their parenting."

He called social services on my family... is that not interfering?

I tore my eyes away from the window and stared at him, "No offence, Mr Dawson, but from everything I've heard, it sounds like you've done quite a lot of interfering so far."

Mrs Dawson stiffened and I'm sure she didn't like how I was talking to her husband.

Mr Dawson didn't say anything, and no one knew where to look anymore. The temperature in the room was really heating up. Mrs Dawson avoided eye contact, Charlotte was staring at her closed phone and only Luke looked his dad in the eye.

"You owe it to her," Luke said coldly.

And that's when we heard footsteps outside the room and Jake's voice call out, "Hey! I didn't realize everyone was he-"

Jake arrived at the doorway, but Luke reached out and slammed the living room door in his face.

"Luke!" Mrs Dawson exclaimed, rushing across the room, "Don't do that to your brother!"

Luke raised his arms in annoyance, "Does the whole world need to hear Millie's story?"

"What the f*ck, man?!" Jake exclaimed as he shoved the door back open.

Luke ignored Jake and focused on his dad, "She asked you a question. Now you owe her an answer."

Mrs Dawson whispered quietly to Jake, trying to explain the situation a little more. His anger dissipated a bit and I felt him look at me.

Mr Dawson said, "Like I said, I don't want to step out of line here. It's not my place to talk about something I don't know."

I stared down at my feet and shook my head, feeling the helplessness return. 

I should've expected that the truth doesn't come out easily. You can't just go up to someone and get them to unveil a mystery. Some people will stay silent and take secrets to the grave. I've gotten so used to movies tying up the plot neatly in the end. Maybe life is a mess... with loose ends and no closure.

Why would he confess anything to me?

Why was he involved with my family in the first place?

Did Mr Dawson threaten my mom? Did he try something with her?

Am I adopted?

These questions were never going to end unless he told me. I needed to hear his side of the story, because his was the only story available. Everyone else is gone.

I'll refuse to leave the room until he spoke, because I may never have a chance like this again. I glanced up at Luke and realized that he was staring at me. It's like he felt my pain. And when our eyes met, it sparked a reaction in him. He was willing to force the truth out.

Luke was about to confront his dad, when his sister took us all by surprise.

"Dad," Charlotte spoke up from beside me, "If someone we know is hurting and we're in a position to help them, we should. Isn't that what you've always taught us to do?"

Mr Dawson looked at his daughter with a softer expression. He now had to consider the moral example he would be setting.

I was never going to be the person who would get sympathy from Mr Dawson, but his kids would. His kids were his life. He may be harsh and strict sometimes, but he seemed like a father who really cared.

"I am not asking for the definitive truth," I whispered, "I am just asking about what you saw or did or heard."

I desperately wanted to shake him: What did you do?

"Fine," Mr Dawson finally said, "It looks like I'm overruled."

My heart thumped in my chest and that feeling of sickness return. The promise of the truth, of the past... 

"I hope your dad won't kill me for saying this," Mr Dawson mentioned story. He cleared his throat and as soon as he started to speak about my dad, it brought me back to that time – when I was a little girl and before I knew what abandonment felt like.

"Your dad was a genius," Mr Dawson said, "And he loved you. You know, we were just neighbors, but I could see that much. It's normal. I think things started to change when he lost his job. I remember him telling me that it was hard to find a new one, and he was unemployed. He used to be so energetic and ambitious, but over time that faded."

I tried not to cry. I had no idea my father lost his job, but I remember enjoying when he had more free time and started doing the school run. It struck a chord in me that my feeling of happiness was connected to his feeling of sadness.

What do I owe a man who walked out of my life?

Mr Dawson continued to tell the story, or at least his version of it. "A man is responsible for taking care of his family and he had two small kids... that must've been an incredibly difficult time," Mr Dawson paused after that and looked like he didn't want to continue. "I really don't want to be telling you all of this. This next part is heavy."

He looked down and I could see that he was really struggling to get the words out. I guess he actually must have thought of my dad as a friend.

He breathed out, "I don't think you knew this, but he was an alcoholic."

I've seen how alcoholism can disrupt a family life. I've lived through it, but not with my dad.

Mr Dawson took a few minutes before he continued. No one told him to hurry. We were all deadly silent and I couldn't think about anyone else in the room. 

I just felt pity. My parents had not been lucky in their lives.

I stared up at Mr Dawson and for the first time, he looked back at me. He actually gave me eye contact.

Mr Dawson said, "He didn't feel worthy. He thought he was ruining your lives and he was worried that his habits were dragging your mom down a similar path. He said that, in his dark moments, he encouraged her to drink and he was worried that she would spiral into alcoholism too. I remember his harrowing words. He said if he stayed, you'd lose two parents instead of one."

Too little, too late.

In the end, I did lose two parents. My mom was never herself after he left.

Mr Dawson said, "He gave up on hope. He thought he would do more harm than good by staying in your lives. Fear can be a terrible thing. Fear can make you run away, and embarrassment can make you stay away."

What a heavy blow.

I didn't know what to say or how to process my thoughts. I couldn't help but think one thing:

Coward.

He'd chosen to run away instead of face his fears. Isn't that the definition of cowardice?

His feelings of disillusion and inadequacy led to him walking away. This was not the story I expected. There was no dramatic moment or outburst or betrayal... just a slow burn. 

The road to hell is paved with good intentions. He was a guy that lost his way.

In the movies, there always seems to be a dramatic reason that leads to the big decision. But maybe in life, it's more of a gradual decline. Many small pieces that build up over time. It's so much harder to understand.

So many questions left to answer.

And I wasn't going to leave this room until I got all those answers.

A/N: This chapter came out longer than expected. Vote if you enjoyed it!  

More of Millie's history will be in the next one... what do you think of the reveal so far? I'll be in the comments of my latest IG post to debrief x

See ya on Thursday! <3