Eminencentrose requested: (beta)MomDad

DAVE: this one is purely for me.
DAVE: i can feel it
DAVE: deep in my loins.

KARKAT: DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THE WORD LOINS MEANS?

DAVE: yeah its like
DAVE: fuck
DAVE: okay i know it, i seriously do! i just cant remember it right now
DAVE: the word is on the tip of my tongue...

KARKAT: MHMM, SURE.

DAVE: all right, were here to talk about johns dead dad and roses dead mom and technically *my* dead mom.
DAVE: ...
DAVE: shitty way to start that, fuck me.
DAVE: lets start over.
DAVE: i dont claim to know a whole lot about these two or their relationship.
DAVE: what i do know is how to bullshit my way thru a reaction tho.
DAVE: so, johns dad and roses mom.
DAVE: these two were actually the uh "surprise" couple i guess? i for one never saw it coming
DAVE: especially considering roses/my mom technically made me and rose with bro...
DAVE: idfk i just sort of thought that maybe mom lalonde was into bro.
DAVE: dont get me wrong, im totally happy that she aint swooning over that tall glass of spoiled milk that happened to be mixed with piss.
DAVE: im ecstatic. this can technically make me and john brothers. and that makes jade and i brother and sister.
DAVE: im officially related to all my bffs cast.

KARKAT: DAVE GET BACK ON TRACK.

DAVE: right.
DAVE: these two actually seem like the really great mom and dad.
DAVE: not the typical mom and dad that you *always* see on the tv, the ones that always fight over small, idiotic things.
DAVE: theyre more like morticia and gomez
DAVE: the parents from the addams family!
DAVE: i see them as that kind of couple. really cool and in love and involved with their kids.
DAVE: the perfect tv couple.
DAVE: and you know what i find funny?
DAVE: the fact that roxy fell in love with john, who is janes son.
DAVE: aaaaaand mom lalonde fell in love with grandma egberts son. which is pretty much the same thing!
DAVE: i mean, isnt that kind of a cool parallel?? i think it is.

KARKAT: IT IS PRETTY COOL. IT WAS LIKE THE UNIVERSE WAS TELLING US, OR MORE YOU, FROM THE VERY BEGINNING THAT THEY WERE TECHNICALLY MEANT TO BE!!
KARKAT: THESE LITTLE EASTER EGGS NEVER CEASE TO AMAZE ME!

DAVE: yeah dude!!
DAVE: so yeah, this ship is great. i seriously think that roxy and john will be amazing parents.
DAVE: maybe even better than dad egbert and mom lalonde.
DAVE: yall should know that amazing, caring parents is my aesthetic.