@pandora664 requested: SolDave

DAVE: yo i just remembered what loins meant.
DAVE: it means crotch.

KARKAT: IT TOOK HIM AN ENTIRE CHAPTER TO REMEMBER THE DEFINITION OF THE WORD LOINS.

DAVE: it also took me two weeks to know how to pronounce kanayas name.
DAVE: i didnt know if it was kuh-nye-yuh or kan-uh-yah or kan-ay-ya.
DAVE: btw its pronounced kuh-nye-yuh.

KARKAT: NO ONE NEEDED A LESSON IN PRONOUNCING KANAYA'S FUCKING NAME DIPSHIT.

DAVE: are you fucking kiddin me dude? im p sure half of these people have been saying it wrong this entire time.

KARKAT: AS THE STEREOTYPICAL TEENAGER SAYS: UGH, WHATEVER. *EYE ROLL*

DAVE: for all of you reading this, he legit just said asterisk eye roll asterisk.
DAVE: fucking dweeb <3

DAVE: what the fuck
DAVE: not to be rude but...no???
DAVE: like, no. never.

KARKAT: I 100% AGREE WITH DAVE. NEVER WILL HE EVER BE WITH SOLLUX.
KARKAT: AND I HAVE SEVERAL REASONS WHY. AND I'M PRETTY SURE DAVE AND I SHARE A COUPLE OF THEN.
KARKAT: FOR ONE: THEY'VE NEVER EXACTLY MET. EXCEPT FOR WEIRD TIMELINE SHENANIGANS AND BRIEFLY WHEN SOLLUX AND ARADIA WERE BLASTING OUR METEOR THE FUCK OFF INTO SPACE. EVEN THEN, SOLLUX AND DAVE DIDN'T TALK!!! IT WAS MORE KANAYA, ARADIA, AND TEREZI ATTEMPTING TO YANK ME OFF OF SOLLUX WHILE I CRIED AND CURSED THE DAY HE HATCHED.
KARKAT: SO THAT'S ONE THING.
KARKAT: NUMBER TWO IS THAT SOLLUX...JUST ISN'T GOOD FOR DAVE IN THE SENSE THAT HE ISN'T EXACTLY...READY TO HANDLE HIS EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE. SOLLUX CAN BARELY HANDLE HIS *OWN* EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE, HE WOULDN'T BE ABLE YO HANDLE DAVE'S AS WELL.
KARKAT: ALSO, SOLLUX ISN'T ONE TO EASILY OPEN UP TO SOMEONE UNLESS THAT SOMEONE IS *EXTREMELY* CLOSE. AND I MEAN LIKE, *****EXTREMELY***** CLOSE.
KARKAT: YEAH THEY HAVE A POSSIBILITY OF BEING GOOD FRIENDS BUT SOLLUX IS EXTREMELY PICKY TO THE PEOPLE HE CONFIDES IN. IT'S MORE LIKELY THAT THE TWO WILL BECOME GOOD FRIENDS AND JUST PULL STUPID STUNTS TOGETHER THEN START TELLING EACH OTHER THEIR INSECURITIES.
KARKAT: ALSO....I JUST CAN'T IMAGINE DAVE WITH SOLLUX. OR ANYONE ELSE REALLY. IT'S REVOLTING AND HEARTBREAKING TO EVEN THINK ABOUT.
KARKAT: LIKE, WOW. MY BOYFRIEND MIGHT DUMP ME FOR MY BEST FRIEND. THAT WOUKD SUCK MAJOR SHAME GLOBES.
KARKAT: YEAH, NO. I DON'T THINK SOLLUX AND DAVE WILL EVER BE MORE THAN GOOD FRIENDS THAT OCCASIONALLY HANG OUT TO DO SEMI-ILLEGAL THINGS.