seventeen

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The locker room was electric with celebration, the air buzzing with excitement and the distinct smell of sweat, victory, and fresh Gatorade. The Fever had just beaten the Phoenix Mercury for the second time this season, and the energy was palpable. Caitlin was leaning against her locker, still catching her breath, as her teammates buzzed around her, their laughter and chatter echoing off the walls.

"Hey, Cait!" Lexie called out, her voice cutting through the noise. "Reality is coming!"

The room erupted in cheers and laughter. It was an inside joke that had quickly become a rallying cry. Diana Taurasi, the legendary player from the Mercury, had once said before the draft that reality would soon hit Caitlin Clark—that she'd find out what it was really like to play with the big dogs in the WNBA. But now, after back-to-back victories over Diana's team, it seemed like Caitlin was more than ready for the challenge.

"Yeah, reality is here!" Nalyssa added with a grin, giving Caitlin a playful shove. "And she's kicking ass."

Caitlin couldn't help but smile, feeling the adrenaline still coursing through her veins. She didn't have any bad blood with Diana or any of the players on the Mercury, but she had to admit, it felt good to prove the doubters wrong. The media had questioned whether she could transition smoothly from college to the pros, whether she could handle the physicality, the speed, the pressure. But here she was, not just surviving, but thriving.

"Hell yeah, Cait!" Aliyah shouted from across the room. "One more game, and it's a clean sweep!"

"That's the plan," Caitlin replied, her competitive fire burning bright. She wanted that sweep. She wanted to show everyone, especially herself, that she could compete with the best.

As the team continued to celebrate, Lou, raised her voice above the din. "Alright, alright, listen up! Who's down to celebrate this win?"

A chorus of enthusiastic agreements followed, with Caitlin, Aliyah, Lexie, and Kelsey among those who raised their hands.

"Alright, let's meet at my place in an hour!" Lou announced, and the team began to disperse, each player heading off to shower and change before the night out.

Caitlin felt a thrill of anticipation as she headed out to her car. She had grown close to these women in a way she hadn't expected. They weren't just teammates—they were becoming friends, her new support system. It had been a long time, since Iowa, that she felt this happy, this at ease.

An hour later, Caitlin was at Katie Lou's house, surrounded by laughter, music, and the smell of pizza. They had all changed out of their game clothes and into something more comfortable, lounging on the couches and floor with slices of pizza in hand.

They were playing a friendly game of Mario Kart, though some would say between Lexie and Caitlin it was not a very friendly game.

"This is what victory tastes like," Lexie said, taking a huge bite of her slice and grinning at the others as she won first place in the racing tournament.

Caitlin chuckled, feeling a deep sense of contentment wash over her. This was exactly what she needed—a night of relaxation and fun with people who understood what it was like to live and breathe basketball.

Kelsey had to leave early, saying she had an early morning commitment, but the rest of the girls stayed, the night stretching out as they laughed, told stories, and simply enjoyed each other's company. As the night wore on, Caitlin found herself relaxing more and more, letting down walls she hadn't realized she was still holding up.

And then, before she knew it, the words were tumbling out of her mouth.

"I'm gay," she blurted out, her voice cutting through the conversation. The room fell silent, all eyes turning to her in surprise. Caitlin's heart raced, a sudden fear gripping her—had she made a mistake?

The silence stretched on for a beat too long, and Caitlin felt the need to clarify, to make sure they understood. "I like women. And Sam, the 'friend' you all met when we went bowling, she was my college girlfriend."

For a moment, nobody said anything. Then, Lexie broke the silence with a wide smile. "Caitlin, that's awesome! I'm so glad you felt comfortable telling us."

The tension in Caitlin's chest eased as Aliyah and Lou chimed in with their support, their words warm and reassuring. They didn't make a big deal out of it, but their excitement and acceptance made Caitlin feel like she had just crossed an important threshold.

"We've got your back, Cait," Lou said, her voice firm and full of promise. "Always."

Caitlin smiled, her heart swelling with gratitude and relief. She hadn't realized how much she had needed this—how much she had needed to be seen, to be accepted for who she really was. These women, her teammates, had become more than just friends; they were becoming family.

The next day, Caitlin found herself in Dr. Mitchell's office. It was unusual for her to have a session on a Saturday, but Dr. Mitchell had made an exception, understanding the demands of Caitlin's schedule. The therapist's office was a sanctuary of sorts, a quiet space where Caitlin could let her guard down and process everything she was going through.

Dr. Mitchell, greeted Caitlin with a warm smile as she entered the room. "Good to see you, Caitlin. How are you feeling today?"

Caitlin settled into the comfortable chair across from Dr. Mitchell, feeling the familiar nervous flutter in her stomach. But today, there was something different—a sense of accomplishment, of having taken a step forward.

"I'm good," Caitlin said, a small smile playing on her lips. "Especially after last night's game."

"I assume you all won?" Dr. Mitchell asked, though it was clear she didn't follow sports closely. Caitlin appreciated that about her—she knew who Caitlin was, of course, but she wasn't caught up in the hype or the pressure that came with Caitlin's public persona.

"Yeah, we did," Caitlin replied, her smile widening, like there was something more to it.

Dr. Mitchell nodded, a knowing look in her eyes. "And what else happened last night?"

Caitlin hesitated for a moment, then took a deep breath. "I told some of my teammates," she said, her voice steady but filled with emotion.

Dr. Mitchell has been trying to get Caitlin to say the words "I'm gay" mainly to herself, she noticed Caitlin would never say it after the first time she revealed it, but rather make references about it by saying things like, the way I am or just simply avoiding it in general. 

"What exactly did you tell them?" Dr. Mitchell asked, even though she knew. 

Caitlin looks down her smile altering just a little. "That I'm... I'm gay." she said with a little stutter.

Dr. Mitchell's eyebrows raised slightly, a pleased smile forming on her lips. "That's a big step, Caitlin. I'm really proud of you."

Caitlin's looks up her smile still altered, the weight of what she had said settling in. "It was... it felt good. But also scary. I... I don't think I've really accepted it myself yet."

Dr. Mitchell leaned forward slightly, her gaze compassionate. "That's understandable. It's one thing to tell others, but it's another to truly accept it for yourself. You've spent so much of your life being told that who you are is wrong, and even though you've started to see that it isn't, those old beliefs can be hard to shake."

Caitlin nodded, feeling a lump form in her throat. "I think... I think I need to work on that. Before I can tell the world, or even my family, I need to be okay with telling myself."

Dr. Mitchell smiled gently. "That's exactly what I would say, Caitlin. Acceptance is a process, and it's okay to take your time with it. But I'm glad you're beginning to trust your teammates—they're becoming a real support system for you, and that's incredibly important."

Caitlin felt the weight of the truth settle over her. She had come a long way, but there was still a journey ahead. And that journey wasn't just about coming out to others—it was about coming out to herself, fully and without reservation.

Trying to lighten the mood, Dr. Mitchell leaned back in her chair. "Tell me about Sam."

Caitlin blinked, surprised by the shift in conversation. "What about Sam?"

"Anything," Dr. Mitchell replied with a smile. "A good memory, perhaps. Something that reminds you why she's so important to you."

Caitlin thought for a moment, a memory surfacing from the depths of her mind. It was a memory that had stayed with her, a moment that had solidified everything for her.

-----

The day after the NCAA championship game felt like a surreal blur for Caitlin. The Iowa Hawkeyes had lost to LSU, and Caitlin had taken the defeat hard. She had poured everything she had into that game, leading her team as far as she could, but it just hadn't been enough.

When Caitlin and Kate arrived back at their apartment, the weight of the loss was still heavy on their shoulders. They were exhausted, both physically and emotionally. The normally comforting space felt stifling, a stark reminder of how close they had come to victory, only to have it slip through their fingers.

As they stepped inside, they were greeted by Claire and Sam, who were waiting for them. Sam, despite her ongoing physical therapy, immediately got up from the couch and moved toward Caitlin. Without a word, she pulled Caitlin into a tight hug, one that was filled with all the warmth and support Caitlin desperately needed. Claire mirrored the gesture with Kate, both of them sharing a quiet understanding of the moment's gravity.

The hug from Sam was exactly what Caitlin needed. It was the kind of hug that didn't require words, one that conveyed everything she needed to hear—that she was loved, that she wasn't alone, and that it was okay to be disappointed.

When they finally pulled apart, Caitlin looked into Sam's eyes and felt a surge of emotion that threatened to overwhelm her. "I'm really glad you're here," she said quietly, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Me too," Sam replied, her voice soft and full of warmth despite the lingering discomfort from her therapy. The connection between them in that moment was palpable, a quiet reminder of the strength they drew from each other.

Kate, who hadn't eaten much since the loss, suggested going out for a late-night bite. "You two okay if we grab some food? Do y'all want to come?" she asked, looking between Caitlin and Sam.

"Yeah, go ahead. I'm going to stay here," Caitlin replied. She wasn't really hungry but was grateful for Kate's offer. "I think I just need a shower."

Kate nodded, giving Caitlin a small, understanding smile before she and Claire left, leaving Caitlin and Sam alone in the quiet apartment. The silence that followed was thick, almost suffocating, as the weight of the day pressed down on Caitlin's chest once more.

"I'll be in the living room," Sam said gently, breaking the silence. "Take your time."

Caitlin nodded, grateful for Sam's understanding. She headed to her room, grabbed a fresh set of clothes, and then made her way to the bathroom. The sound of the door closing behind her echoed in the stillness, a reminder that she was now alone with her thoughts. She stepped into the shower, turning the water as hot as she could stand, letting the heat wash over her. She hoped it would cleanse away the disappointment, the frustration, the heartbreak of the game. But no matter how long she stood under the stream, the feelings lingered, clinging to her like a second skin.

After the shower, Caitlin dried off and dressed quickly, wanting to feel the comfort of familiar clothes against her skin. She hesitated for a moment, catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror. The reflection staring back at her was of someone who had given everything, who was physically and emotionally drained. But there was something else in her eyes, a flicker of resilience, a reminder that she was still standing, still here.

When she finally emerged from her room, her hair still damp, she found Sam waiting for her in the living room. Sam was sitting cross-legged on the couch, and she had turned on a lamp, casting a warm, soft glow over the room. She was scrolling through something on her phone, but her attention seemed distant, like she was waiting for Caitlin to join her.

Caitlin hesitated in the doorway, feeling a sudden wave of vulnerability. The shower had washed away the sweat and grime from the game, but it hadn't touched the deeper ache inside her. She wasn't sure if she was ready to face that yet, wasn't sure if she was ready to be seen in this state of rawness.

But then Sam looked up, her eyes meeting Caitlin's, and something in her gaze was so steady, so sure, that it gave Caitlin the strength to step forward, to move toward her instead of away.

"Come here," Sam said softly, patting the space beside her on the couch.

Caitlin walked over and sat down, the cushion sinking under her weight. Sam didn't say anything for a while, just reached over and took Caitlin's hand in hers, lacing their fingers together. The simple touch was grounding, a reminder that she wasn't alone in this.

"I know last night was hard," Sam finally said, her voice gentle, laced with understanding. "But I want you to know how proud I am of you, Caitlin. Not just for how you played, but for who you are."

Caitlin felt her throat tighten, her eyes stinging with unshed tears. She had heard similar words from coaches, teammates, even fans, but coming from Sam, they carried a different weight, a different kind of meaning. Sam knew her in a way no one else did—she saw beyond the player, beyond the star, to the person underneath. And that person, Caitlin sometimes felt, was still trying to figure out who she really was.

"I feel like I let everyone down," Caitlin whispered, the confession slipping out before she could stop it.

Sam squeezed her hand, her grip firm but comforting. "You didn't let anyone down, least of all me. You gave everything you had, and that's all anyone could ask for. More importantly, that's all you could ask of yourself."

Caitlin bit her lip, trying to hold back the emotions threatening to spill over. But Sam just pulled her closer, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and holding her tight. And in that embrace, something inside Caitlin started to ease, just a little. It wasn't that the pain of the loss went away—it was still there, sharp and aching—but it didn't feel as overwhelming with Sam by her side.

As they sat there, Caitlin found herself speaking again, the words coming from a place deep inside her. "I love you, Sam."

Sam's hold on her tightened, her voice soft but filled with so much love it made Caitlin's heart ache in a different way. "I love you too, Caitlin. More than anything."

Caitlin took a deep breath, her eyes searching Sam's face. "How are you feeling? I've been so caught up in everything, I haven't really asked."

Sam gave a small smile, her eyes softening. "I've been okay. The physical therapy is tough sometimes—it hurts, and it sucks, but the PTs there are amazing. Honestly, watching them work has made me think a lot about what I want to do in the future."

Caitlin tilted her head, curious. "What do you mean?"

Sam's smile grew a little wider, though there was a hint of vulnerability in it. "I don't think I want to play volleyball anymore. I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to play the way I did before, and I've come to a place where I'm okay with that. Because I know what I want to do now."

Caitlin squeezed Sam's hand, encouraging her to continue.

"The way the physical therapists have helped me, the way they've supported me and pushed me to get better—I want to do that for others. I want to become a physical therapist. Helping people the way they've helped me... it feels right, you know?"

Caitlin's heart swelled with pride and love for Sam. "That's amazing, Sam. You'd be incredible at it."

Sam's eyes shimmered with emotion. "Thanks, Caitlin. It just feels like... like I've found something I'm passionate about, something that matters."

Caitlin leaned in closer, her forehead resting against Sam's. "You matter, Sam. And whatever you decide to do, I'll be here, supporting you every step of the way."

Sam's breath hitched slightly, and she closed her eyes, savoring the closeness. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You'll never have to find out," Caitlin whispered, her lips brushing against Sam's in a tender kiss. The kiss deepened, a slow and intimate expression of the love and connection they shared. It wasn't about passion or desire—it was about comfort, about being there for each other in a way that words couldn't fully capture.

In that quiet, tender moment, Caitlin realized something profound: it didn't matter that Sam was a girl. What mattered was the love they shared, a love that made Caitlin feel whole, complete, and seen. For the first time, Caitlin allowed herself to imagine a future with Sam—a future where they could be together, where Caitlin could live openly and freely, without fear or shame. It was a future she wanted more than anything, and she hoped, one day, that she would fight for it.

-----

The memory lingered in Caitlin's mind as she sat across from Dr. Mitchell, her heart feeling both heavy and light at the same time. She hadn't thought about that night in a long time, but now, recounting it to Dr. Mitchell, she realized just how important it had been in shaping who she was and who she wanted to become.

"Sam was my first real love," Caitlin said softly, her voice tinged with both nostalgia and longing. "She made me feel like it was okay to be me, that it was okay to love who I loved."

Dr. Mitchell smiled gently, her eyes filled with understanding. "It sounds like Sam was a very important part of your journey, Caitlin. And that's something you should cherish, even as you continue to move forward."

Caitlin nodded, feeling a sense of peace settle over her. She still had a long way to go, still had fears to face and obstacles to overcome, but she knew she wasn't alone in this journey. She had her teammates, her friends, and the memory of Sam to guide her. And, most importantly, she had herself—the real Caitlin Clark, who was finally starting to accept who she was.


Later that evening, back in the quiet of her apartment, Caitlin found herself thinking about Kate. She hadn't spoken to her best friend in a few days, between both their schedules, and after everything that had happened, she felt a strong urge to reconnect.

She picked up her phone and dialed Kate's number, leaning back on her couch as she waited for her friend to pick up. After a few rings, Kate's familiar voice came through the line.

"Cait! What's up?" Kate sounded cheerful, as if she'd been expecting Caitlin's call.

"Hey, Kate," Caitlin replied, a smile tugging at her lips. "Just wanted to check in. It's been a while."

"Yeah, it has," Kate agreed. "How's everything going? I saw you guys won last night—congrats!"

"Thanks," Caitlin said, feeling warmth spread through her chest at Kate's easy enthusiasm. "It was a good game. Congrats on your win too!"

They spent the next few minutes catching up, talking about everything from basketball to random things that had happened in their lives. It was easy, familiar, the kind of conversation that Caitlin had always cherished with Kate. They had been through so much together, from the highs of victory to the lows of defeat, and no matter what, they always found their way back to each other.

"So, anything

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