eighteen

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The late summer sun cast a warm, golden glow over the small town of Iowa City, filtering through the open windows of Caitlin's and Kate's apartment. The air carried the unmistakable hint of fall, signaling the end of summer break and the beginning of a new school year—a year that felt different, heavier, and more uncertain than any before it.

Caitlin stood at the kitchen sink, her hands submerged in warm, soapy water as she washed the dishes from the dinner Sam had made. The smell of garlic and herbs still lingered in the air, a reminder of the meal they'd just shared. Caitlin couldn't help but smile as she thought about it—Sam had always been the better cook. The thought of ever breaking up with Sam sent a pang through her chest, but she joked to herself that if they ever did, it would be Sam's cooking she'd miss the most. That, and the way Sam made everything seem less daunting, even when the world felt like it was closing in.

It felt strange, almost surreal, to think that this was their last year together in college. For Sam, it would be the last year entirely. For Caitlin, the choice loomed like a dark cloud—stay for a fifth year at Iowa or declare for the WNBA draft, where she was all but guaranteed to be the number one pick. She knew no matter what things were about to change forever.

But those thoughts felt distant, and for now, Caitlin tried to focus on the present, on this moment, on the way Sam's presence made everything else seem less daunting.

However, Caitlin's mind wandered back to the summer that had just passed, to the three weeks when she and Sam had been apart. It was the first time in a long while that they had spent significant time away from each other. Sam had gone back to her family, taking a much-needed break, and even though Caitlin had been invited to join them on their trip to Disney World, she had declined. The idea of being recognized, of having to constantly be on guard, had made her stomach twist in knots. Ever since the NCAA championship game back in March, the attention had become overwhelming. There were moments when she could almost feel the eyes on her, as if everyone around her knew who she was and what she was going through.

That first week without Sam had been hard. The apartment felt emptier, quieter, like a part of her was missing. Caitlin had tried to throw herself into her usual summer routine—morning workouts, pickup games with friends, and late-night study sessions for her summer classes—but nothing filled the void left by Sam's absence. She had never realized how much she relied on Sam's presence until she wasn't there.

During one of those long, lonely nights, Caitlin found herself scrolling through old photos on her phone. There were countless pictures of her and Sam—at parties, at games, just hanging out in their apartment. Each photo was a snapshot of their life together, a reminder of the bond they shared. But there were also photos of her family, of her siblings and her parents, from before things had gotten complicated. She lingered on a picture of her dad and her, taken after her first college basketball game. She was in her uniform, grinning ear to ear, and her dad was standing beside her, pride written all over his face. That was before Sam, before the distance had grown between them.

Caitlin knew she needed to go home, to face the tension that had been simmering between her and her dad ever since she started dating Sam. She had avoided it long enough. When she finally returned home at the start of the second week of Sam being gone, she was met with a mixture of relief and apprehension. Her mom had greeted her with open arms, as did her siblings, but there was a noticeable stiffness in her dad's demeanor. He was polite, even kind, but there was a barrier between them that hadn't been there before.

The first few days were filled with small talk and careful avoidance of any topic that might stir up old wounds. Caitlin spent time with her younger sibling, playing basketball in the driveway and watching movies late into the night. Her mom tried to make things feel normal, cooking all of Caitlin's favorite meals and chatting with her about everything and nothing. But the underlying tension with her dad was impossible to ignore. Her mom never understood why the suddenly became distant, and when she ask both would say it's nothing.

One afternoon, while playing a one-on-one game with her younger brother, Colin, the opportunity had finally presented itself. Colin had left to grab them some waters, leaving Caitlin alone with her dad. The silence between them had been thick, the awkwardness almost suffocating.

"Dad... about Sam," Caitlin had started, her voice uncertain, searching for a way to bridge the gap between them.

Brent had glanced at her, his expression unreadable, before quickly looking away. "We don't have to talk about it," he had said, his voice gruff but not unkind.

Caitlin had felt the words die in her throat, replaced by a heavy, sinking feeling. "Oh... okay."

There had been a long pause, and just when Caitlin thought the conversation was over, Brent had spoken again, his voice softer this time. "I'm trying," he had said, before turning and walking away, leaving Caitlin alone with her thoughts. It wasn't much, but it was something—a small, fragile step forward.

That brief exchange stayed with Caitlin throughout the summer. She knew her dad was struggling to accept her relationship with Sam, but at least he was trying. She could see the guilt in his eyes whenever they were alone, the way he hesitated before speaking to her, as if he was afraid of saying the wrong thing. It reminded her of that night at the party, the night everything had changed between them.

Caitlin could still see the disappointment in her dad's eyes when he had approached her about Sam. He had tried to hide it, but she had seen it, felt it like a punch to the gut. She had walked away from that conversation feeling more alone than she had ever felt before, and it had taken everything in her to not let it show.


Back in her apartment with Sam, the memories of that summer conversation still echoed in her mind. She pushed them aside, focusing instead on the present, on Sam's quiet presence that always made her feel like everything would be okay.

Caitlin could see Sam sprawled out on the couch, her legs dangling off the side as she flipped through her anatomy textbook. Ever since she'd discovered her new passion for physical therapy, Sam had been practically glued to that book. It was cute, really—how intensely she could focus on something once it caught her interest.

Caitlin dried her hands on a dish towel, tossing it onto the counter as she walked over to the couch. "Hey, babe," she called out, her voice light.

No response. Sam was too engrossed in the textbook to notice. She tried again, this time calling her by name, but Sam still didn't look up from the book.

Caitlin grinned, an idea forming in her mind. Seeing as they had the apartment to themselves for the night, she decided to try a different approach. She slowly unbuttoned her shorts, sliding them off and letting them fall to the floor. Still, Sam didn't look up, too invested in the intricacies of human anatomy to notice anything else.

Next, Caitlin pulled her shirt over her head, leaving her in just her panties and a sports bra. She stepped closer, standing right over Sam, waiting for her to notice the half-naked girl towering above her. But still, nothing.

Finally, Caitlin threw her shirt onto Sam's textbook, covering the page she'd been studying.

Sam blinked, looking up in surprise. "Whoa, what's all this?" she asked, her eyes widening as they took in Caitlin's state of undress.

Caitlin grinned, straddling Sam's lap and settling herself down. "I was calling you, but you were too busy to notice. I thought maybe getting naked might help."

Sam chuckled, her hands coming to rest on Caitlin's hips. "Well, you definitely have my attention now."

Caitlin leaned in, her lips meeting Sam's in a deep, hungry kiss. The world outside faded away as she lost herself in the moment, in the feeling of Sam's hands on her skin, the way their bodies fit together so perfectly. She didn't care about the future or the weight of the decisions she'd have to make soon. All that mattered was this—being here with Sam, wrapped up in each other.

As they kissed, Caitlin reached down, grabbing Sam's anatomy textbook and tossing it to the floor, where it landed with a soft thud. Sam responded by deepening the kiss, her fingers slipping under the waistband of Caitlin's panties as she tugged them down. Caitlin gasped, the sensation sending a shiver down her spine.

They moved together, their breaths coming in ragged gasps as the intensity of their passion built. It wasn't just about the physical connection—it was about everything they had been through together, the highs and lows, the fears and uncertainties. In each other, they found a sense of grounding, a way to push back against the worries that had been weighing them down. As things kept getting heated they found themselves making their way to Caitlin's bedroom, bumping into everything as they refused to part.

Finally, when they could take no more, they collapsed together on the bed, their bodies slick with sweat, their hearts pounding in unison. Sam rested her head on Caitlin's chest, feeling the rise and fall of her breath as they both tried to catch it.

For a while, neither of them spoke, content to just lie there in the aftermath of their shared intimacy. The air around them was thick with the remnants of their passion, the room silent except for the sound of their breathing.

It was Sam who broke the silence first, her voice soft and a little unsure. "I've been thinking a lot about this year, you know? About how it's the last one for me, and how I won't be playing volleyball anymore. It's... weird. I mean, I'm excited about what's next, but it's still weird."

Caitlin nodded, understanding the mix of emotions her girlfriend was going through. "Yeah, I get it. I feel the same way about basketball. It's like... part of me wants to stay, to keep playing for Iowa because it feels safe. But the other part knows that I need to take that next step, to see what's out there for me."

Sam's hand stroked Caitlin's hair gently, soothingly. "Whatever you decide, I'll be right here. In case you didn't know, I'm never leaving you again. Those three weeks rough"

Caitlin closed her eyes, letting Sam's words wash over her. "Yeah... I hope so."

They fell into a comfortable silence, the weight of the future still hanging over them, but with the comfort of knowing that they weren't facing it alone. They had each other, and that was enough for now. Caitlin didn't want to think about their future too hard, she still was nowhere near feeling comfortable on being public.

As the night wore on, they drifted off to sleep, still wrapped up in each other, the uncertainty of the coming year tempered by the quiet assurance of their love and the strength they found in one another.

In the early hours of the morning, Caitlin woke to find herself still curled around Sam, their limbs tangled together in the softness of the bed. The first light of dawn was beginning to seep through the curtains, casting a pale glow across the room. Caitlin shifted slightly, careful not to wake Sam, and watched the gentle rise and fall of her chest.

In that quiet moment, Caitlin allowed herself to think about the future—not with the fear that usually accompanied those thoughts, but with a sense of resolve. She knew there were decisions she would have to make soon, choices that would shape the rest of her life. The weight of them still pressed down on her, but lying there with Sam, Caitlin felt a little more prepared to face them.

She thought about her dad, about the slow progress they had made over the summer. It wasn't perfect, but it was something, and that gave her hope. Maybe, in time, things would get better. Maybe, in time, her dad would come to understand that Sam was the person she loved, the person who made her happiest. Most importantly, maybe, in time, Caitlin wouldn't care what the world had to say about her and who she loved.

Caitlin gently brushed a strand of hair from Sam's face, her fingers lingering on her soft skin. She knew that no matter what happened, no matter what choices she made, Sam would be there with her. They would face the future together, and that was enough to give Caitlin the strength she needed. With all the reassurance Sam offered her, how could she doubt she wouldn't be there for her. No matter what.


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