The campus was alive with the hum of anticipation as the women's basketball team prepared for their annual pre-season party. It was supposed to be a time of celebration, a chance to relax with family and friends before the chaos of the season began. But for Caitlin, the excitement was overshadowed by her anxieties of hiding her relationship from her parents.

The night before, Caitlin was in her dorm room, talking to her parents on FaceTime. The conversation was light, filled with the usual catch-up topics. Her mom was in the middle of describing a new recipe she wanted to try out when they visited when the door creaked open.

"Hey babe, Kate let me in," Sam called as she walked into the room, her voice warm and familiar.

Caitlin's heart skipped a beat, and she shot a panicked glance at her phone. Her mom was still talking, seemingly oblivious, but Caitlin noticed her dad's expression harden just slightly. The moment passed quickly, and neither of her parents commented on it, but Caitlin's anxiety didn't subside. She hoped desperately that they hadn't put the pieces together.

But her dad had heard, and deep down, Caitlin knew he knew about her relationship.

The next morning, Caitlin was in her room again, getting ready for the party. She was carefully picking out what to wear when there was a knock on the door. She opened it to find her father standing there, his expression serious.

"Dad, what are you doing here?" Caitlin asked, trying to mask her surprise with a smile. She hadn't expected to see him until they arrived at the party, and something in his eyes made her uneasy.

"I wanted to talk to you before the party," he said, stepping into the room. "We need to have a serious conversation, Caitlin."

Her heart sank, dread pooling in her stomach. "What's going on?"

He closed the door behind him and turned to face her, his expression hardening. "I've noticed things, Caitlin. Between you and Sam."

Caitlin froze. She had known this moment was coming, had feared it for months, but that didn't make it any easier. "Dad, it's not—"

"Don't lie to me," he interrupted, his voice firm but tinged with an emotion Caitlin couldn't quite place. "I'm not stupid. I see the way you two look at each other, the way you're always together. Are you dating her?"

Caitlin's throat tightened. She had never been good at lying to her father, and she knew she couldn't start now. "Yes," she whispered, her voice barely audible. "We are."

Her father's face darkened, his eyes narrowing as he took in her words. "Caitlin, this isn't right. I never thought I'd have to say this, but this...this isn't what I want for you. You're my daughter, and I want what's best for you. This relationship... it's not it."

Caitlin felt like the ground was crumbling beneath her feet. "Dad, I love her," she said, her voice shaking. "She makes me happy."

He sighed deeply, running a hand through his hair. "I'm sure you think she does, Caitlin. But this isn't just about you being happy. Have you thought about what this could do to your reputation? Your future? If this gets out... You could lose everything. Your endorsements, your career. Do you really want to risk all of that?"

The words hit Caitlin like a punch to the gut. She had considered it from that angle, had always thought about how her relationship could impact her career in the long run, but she always believed she was just overthinking it. But now her dad has confirmed she wasn't overthinking it.

"We are being careful, Dad," she said, though even as the words left her mouth, she felt a pang of uncertainty. If her dad found out, who else would find out. "Sam and I... we're serious about each other. And she's agreed to keep the relationship a secret."

Her father shook his head, his expression pained. "You don't understand, Caitlin. This isn't just about the money or the deals. It's about your future. The world isn't as accepting as you think it is. You'll face backlash, discrimination. I'm worried about what this could do to you. You think people won't put it together? I mean, I figured it out."

Caitlin's eyes filled with tears, her father's words cutting deep. "I thought you'd support me, Dad. I thought you'd want me to be happy."

"I do want you to be happy," he said, his voice softening just slightly. "But I also want you to be safe, to have the life you deserve. And I'm afraid this... this relationship is going to ruin everything we've worked for."

The tears Caitlin had been holding back finally spilled over, but she quickly wiped them away. "So what are you saying? That I should break up with Sam because it's easier for you? Because it's easier for everyone else?"

"I'm saying you need to think about your future, Caitlin," he replied, his tone firm. "You need to make the right choice. And dating Sam? It's not the right choice"

Caitlin felt a sharp pain in her chest, like her heart was being squeezed. She wanted to argue, to tell him he was wrong, but the words wouldn't come. All she could do was nod numbly, feeling like a part of her had been ripped away, but she hated the part of her that I believed him more than anything.

Her father placed a hand on her shoulder, squeezing gently. "I'm doing this because I love you, Caitlin. You'll see that eventually."

With that, he turned and left, leaving Caitlin standing in the middle of her room, her world suddenly off its axis. She sank onto the edge of her bed, her hands trembling as she tried to process what had just happened. 

Caitlin attended the party that evening, but her heart wasn't in it. She felt distant, disconnected from the laughter and joy around her. Sam noticed, of course, but every time she asked if something was wrong, Caitlin brushed it off with a forced smile.

Caitlin stood near the punch bowl, sipping her drink as she half-listened to a group of teammates recounting a funny story from last season. Her laughter was forced, her eyes constantly darting around the room, searching. She knew her dad was here somewhere. He had always been supportive of her athletic career, showing up to every game, every event. But tonight felt different.

As if on cue, Caitlin spotted her father across the room. He was talking with some of the other parents, but his eyes were scanning the crowd, looking for her. Caitlin quickly looked away, her heart pounding. She had been careful, so careful, but she knew her dad was perceptive. She could almost feel his disapproval looming over her.

Trying to shake off the unease, Caitlin turned back to the conversation, laughing at a joke someone made, though she didn't really hear it. That's when she felt it—a familiar warmth at her back. Sam had come up behind her, wrapping her arms around Caitlin's waist in a tender, casual gesture. For a split second, Caitlin felt a surge of comfort. But it was quickly replaced by a spike of fear. Her eyes flicked toward her dad again, and she panicked.

In one swift motion, Caitlin grabbed Sam's hands and gently, but firmly, pulled them off her. The group around them noticed the exchange, and one of the girls grinned.

"Oh are you two dating or something?" One of the mom's in the group asked, her tone playful.

Caitlin panicked, her father's voice echoing in her mind. "No, she's just a friend of the team," she said quickly, her voice sharper than she intended.

The words felt like a slap, and Sam's smile faltered. "I'm going to grab a drink," Sam muttered.

She turned and walked away, and Caitlin watched her go, a sick feeling in her stomach. The rest of the night passed in a blur. Caitlin tried to keep up appearances, but all she could think about was the look on Sam's face, the way she had just walked away. It was her fault. She had pushed Sam away, and for what? To make her father happy?

But it wasn't making her happy. It was tearing her apart.

Caitlin couldn't stay at the party any longer. She made a quick excuse to her mom about needing to finish an assignment and slipped out, heading straight to the gym. The one place she could always find solace.

The gym was quiet, the only sound the soft echo of Caitlin's footsteps on the polished floor. She changed into her sweats, grabbed a basketball, and headed to the court. She started shooting, the familiar rhythm calming her, but only slightly. Her mind was a whirlwind of emotions—fear, guilt, anger, sadness—and she couldn't seem to focus on anything else.

Shot after shot missed, her form faltering as the tears she had been holding back all night finally began to fall. She wiped them away quickly, frustrated with herself for being so weak. Why couldn't she just be what her father wanted? Why couldn't she be the daughter he was proud of, instead of this disappointment?

"Caitlin."

The voice startled her, snapping her out of her spiraling thoughts. She turned to see Sam standing at the edge of the court, her expression a mix of confusion and concern. Sam hadn't noticed the tears yet, her frustration still evident in the set of her jaw.

"What the hell, Caitlin? I've been looking for you. You've been weird all day."

Caitlin didn't respond. She didn't trust herself to speak without breaking down completely. Instead, she turned back to the basket, grabbing another ball and taking a shot. It bounced off the rim, missing entirely.

"What is going on?." Sam's voice was firm as she approached Caitlin. "Don't hide behind this."

Sam stepped forward, blocking Caitlin from grabbing another ball. That's when she noticed the tears staining Caitlin's cheeks. Sam's face softened, the frustration fading into concern.

Caitlin couldn't meet her eyes. She looked down, ashamed of her weakness, of how she had treated Sam. "Maybe this was a bad idea," she whispered, her voice trembling.

"What are you talking about?" Sam's voice was laced with fear, her body tensing as she watched Caitlin retreat emotionally.

"This. Us." Caitlin's voice cracked as she reached for another ball, desperate to focus on something, anything, other than the pain in Sam's eyes.

"No." Sam moved in front of her, blocking her path, refusing to let her escape. "You don't get to do that."

Caitlin froze, the ball slipping from her fingers into Sam's hands, refusing to budge. "Why are you crying?" Sam asked, her voice softening, but still holding a note of frustration. "What happened? You're the one who brushed me off, said I'm just a 'team friend,' like I mean nothing to you. I should be the one crying."

Caitlin quickly wiped her face, deciding it was for the best to keep what happened with her dad to herself. "Sam... I'm sorry about earlier, I just got nervous. With everyone there and my parents."

"And what about me?" Sam's voice trembled with emotion. "What about how I feel? I love you, Caitlin, and I'm trying to be there for you, but you won't let me."

Caitlin felt a wave of guilt wash over her. "That's why I'm giving you an out, Sam."

Sam's eyes widened, pain flashing across her face. "Is that really what you want? To just give up? To walk away because it's hard?"

"I don't want to hurt you, Sam," Caitlin said, her voice barely audible. "But I'm so scared. And I can't be what you want right now, and maybe I never will be."

Sam's expression hardened with resolve, knowing she would get nowhere with Caitlin right not, she decided to give her some space. "We are not breaking up. Stay here, figure out what you need to figure out, but you are not breaking up with me because you're scared."

She shoved the ball back into Caitlin's hands and walked away, leaving Caitlin alone with her thoughts.

As the ball slipped from Caitlin's hands toward the net and Sam walked away, Caitlin felt the weight of her emotions press down on her like a heavy blanket. She stood frozen on the court, the sound of Sam's footsteps fading into the distance, leaving her alone in the silence. Her mind was a whirlpool of conflicting thoughts—love, fear, guilt, and confusion all swirling together, threatening to pull her under.

How could she keep doing this? Pretending everything was fine, hiding her relationship, and hurting the person she loved most in the process. But the alternative felt impossible—coming out meant risking everything she'd worked for, everything her father had warned her about. The fear of losing it all, the endorsements, the respect, the career she'd dreamed of since she was a kid, made her chest tighten with panic.

Caitlin sank to the floor, pulling her knees to her chest. She felt like she was being torn apart from the inside. The tears came again, silently this time, as she hugged herself tighter, trying to hold herself together.

Why does it have to be this way? she thought bitterly. Why can't I just love who I love without it ruining everything?

She sat there for a long time, the cold gym floor beneath her, her thoughts spinning in circles, until she felt completely drained. Eventually, she forced herself to stand up, grabbing the basketball and setting it back in the rack. She needed to go home, to face the mess she'd made with Sam.

An hour later, Caitlin walked into her apartment, feeling like a shell of herself. The lights in the living room were on, and she could hear voices—Kate, Claire, and Sam. Her heart clenched when she heard Sam's voice, but she knew she had to face this.

As she stepped into the living room, all three girls looked up. Sam stood up immediately, concern etched on her face. "Caitlin... feel better"

Caitlin managed a weak smile, trying to reassure her. "I feel a little better," she said softly, though she wasn't sure how true that was. "Can we talk?"

Sam nodded, her expression still worried. Caitlin could see the pain in her eyes, and it made her feel even worse. She turned to Kate and Claire. "We'll be back in a bit."

The two nodded, and Caitlin led Sam to her room, her mind racing with what she needed to say. Once they were inside, Caitlin closed the door and leaned against it, taking a deep breath. Sam stood in the middle of the room, watching her closely.

"Sam, I'm so sorry about earlier," Caitlin began, her voice trembling slightly. "I know I hurt you, and that's the last thing I ever wanted to do."

Sam crossed her arms, her face softening. "Caitlin, I'm not mad. I'm just... confused. And worried. You've been so distant today, and I don't know what's going on."

Caitlin looked down at her feet, guilt gnawing at her. "It's just... everything feels like it's closing in on me. I'm scared, Sam. Scared of what could happen if people find out about us. I'm scared of losing everything I've worked for. But most of all, I'm scared of losing you."

Sam took a step closer, reaching out to gently take Caitlin's hand. "You're not going to lose me, Caitlin. But I need you to trust me, to let me in. We can't keep doing this if you're always shutting me out."

Caitlin squeezed Sam's hand, feeling the warmth of her touch. "I know. And I want to be with you, Sam. I really do. But I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to be who you need me to be."

"You don't have to be anyone but yourself," Sam said softly. "We can figure this out together, but you have to let me in."

Caitlin nodded, feeling the weight of her words. "I'll try," she whispered. "I just... I need time. And I need you to be patient with me."

Sam smiled, though it was tinged with sadness. "I'll always be patient with you, Caitlin. I love you, and I'm not going anywhere."

Caitlin felt a wave of relief wash over her. She stepped forward, wrapping her arms around Sam in a tight embrace. For a moment, they just held each other, the silence between them filled with unspoken emotions. Caitlin rested her head on Sam's shoulder, closing her eyes and letting herself feel the comfort of Sam's presence.

They stayed like that for a while, neither of them wanting to let go. Caitlin knew that things were far from resolved, but at least for now, she felt a little more at peace.

Eventually, they pulled back, and Caitlin looked into Sam's eyes, feeling a mixture of love and fear. "We'll figure this out," she said softly, trying to convince herself as much as Sam.

Sam nodded, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to Caitlin's forehead. "We will."

Caitlin knew she would never tell anyone about the conversation she'd had with her dad. It was too painful, too raw. And she and her dad would never speak of it again, the memory of it hanging over them like a shadow. But that conversation would be the reason Caitlin would never come out, would always keep her relationship with Sam a secret. It was a burden she would carry alone, even if it meant living with the fear and the guilt.

-----

Caitlin sat in her therapist's office in Indiana, the familiar room offering a sense of comfort she had come to cherish. Over the last week, Caitlin has been to three appointments, with each one gaining more trust with Dr.Mitchell. Therapy was becoming a lifeline for her—a place where she could unravel her thoughts and emotions, where she could be honest, even with herself.

Today, though, was different. Today, Caitlin knew she was ready to talk about her sexuality, the first stranger she would tell.

Her therapist, Dr. Mitchell, sat across from her, waiting patiently. Caitlin had always appreciated her calm, nonjudgmental presence. She knew that whatever she said here would be met with understanding.

Caitlin took a deep breath, her heart pounding in her chest. "There's something I've been wanting to tell you," she began, her voice trembling slightly.

Dr. Mitchell nodded, encouraging her to continue.

"I'm... I'm gay," Caitlin said, the words feeling both liberating and terrifying as they left her mouth. "I've been hiding it for so long, and it's been eating me up inside."

Dr. Mitchell gave her a warm, reassuring smile. "Thank you for sharing that with me, Caitlin. That's a big step."

Caitlin felt tears prick at her eyes, but she held them back. "There's more," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I used to date someone. Her name was Sam. But we had to keep it a secret because... because I was scared. Scared of what would happen if people found out. It's the reason we aren't together anymore."

Dr. Mitchell listened intently, her expression empathetic. "What's been keeping you from telling the truth, Caitlin? What's holding you back?"

Caitlin hesitated, the memory of her father's words flooding back. She had buried that conversation deep, but now, in this safe space, she felt the need to let it out.

"My dad," she said, her voice cracking. "He found out about Sam, when we were in college. We had been dating for year, keeping it a secret, but he figured it out. He told me that if people knew, it could ruin everything—my career, my future. He said the world wouldn't accept me, that I'd lose everything. And I believed him."

Dr. Mitchell's gaze softened. "That sounds like a very painful experience, Caitlin. It's understandable that those words would have a lasting impact on you."

Caitlin nodded, the tears finally spilling over. "I've never told anyone about that conversation. Not even Sam. I've been carrying it around, letting it control me. And it's been suffocating."

Dr. Mitchell leaned forward slightly, her voice gentle. "You don't have to carry it alone anymore. You've taken a huge step by sharing this today. It's okay to start small. You don't have to do it all at once."

Caitlin wiped her tears away, feeling a sense of relief and clarity she hadn't felt in years. "I want to start telling the truth,"