"Sometimes we love with nothing more than hope. Sometimes we cry with everything except tears."
-Gregory David Roberts

chapter 7

Almost twelve hours later at 8 o'clock, Bar leaned against his car in the spot he texted Clementine to meet him at.

He was dressed in a nice pair of jeans, a thick dark blue long sleeve, his leather jacket, and had a hint of his favorite cologne to his scent.

His thick curls were messy but in an attractive way on his head and since he spent most of the day icing his injuries and keeping up with the pain relievers, the bruises didn't look bad and the swelling was practically nonexistent and the pain was bearable.

His full backpack was off to the side as he waited in the abandoned-looking parking lot with a thick field of flowers and a forest right next to it.

After what felt like hours, he finally heard the roar of another engine.

But it wasn't just an engine.

It was a motorcycle.

Clementine was riding a motorcycle.

She parked it next to where Bar stood and turned it off, and if he had a little less control over himself, he would be drooling as he eyes her curves that were accentuated by her attire.

Damn.

The little goddess had slim, black leggings on that brought out her wide hips and thick thighs, black combat boots that boosted her a couple of inches higher, a thick knitted pink sweater that hugged her chest and showed off her cute, slightly chubby stomach, and a leather jacket that almost matched Bar's.

She looked beautiful in the sense where she was lethal.

"You have no idea," Bar said as she took off her helmet and pulled her hair out of a ponytail. "How bad I want to kiss you right now."

"You l-look good too, Oly, even with the bruises." Clementine beams at him, getting off of her bike.

"Not good enough for you, that's for fucking sure." He replied. The little goddess rolled her eyes, set her helmet on the seat and timidly walked up to Bar.

She rides a motorcycle but she's still a shy little thing. Bar didn't know why he found that so hot.

"So, what are we d-doing here?" Clementine asked, looking around the semi-dark scenery and the moon that's just starting to peek out behind the clouds. Night was coming in fast and it was waiting for no one.

"Well, I'm here to make you fall in love with me and you're here to enjoy yourself." Bar said, bending down to pick the little goddess up over his shoulder before grabbing his backpack, not giving her a chance to reply.

"Hey!" Clementine, along with his injuries, protests at Bar's actions but he ignores it. "You can't, you can't just pick me up!"

"Yes I can and I already have." Bar says. "The walk to where we need to go is short but muddy and your shoes always look clean, I didn't want you to get them dirty."

"You're, um, you're more observant than I thought."

"Hm." Bar stepped over a fallen tree as he walked on the small path through the woods.

"N-not that I thought you were stupid or anything." Clementine continued and Bar knew that if he didn't say something, she'd go on an anxiety-inducing ramble.

"I know what you meant, sweetheart." He squeezes the thigh he was using to keep her in place making her squeak. "I was just thinking about how cute you look."

"I look, I look cute?"

"It's impossible for you not too but damn, you look even better in leather and on top of a motorcycle." Bar says. "And I don't mean cute like I wanna pinch your cheeks, I mean cute like I wanna push you up against a wall and kiss you until you're begging me to-"

"Oly," She whines. "Stop t-teasing."

"Why?" Bar tightens his grip on her thigh. "Would you rather me just do it instead?"

"Oly?"

"Yes?"

"S-shut up."

Bar laughs, "You just don't want me to mention how easily I know you could ride-"

"Oly!"

"What?" He says, feigning innocence. "I was going to say motorcycle."

"No you weren't," Clementine grumbles.

"Yeah, you're right." Bar gently sets her on her feet, looping his arms around her waist as he swept his eyes across her blushing cheeks. "But the fact that you knew what I was going to say before I even fucking said it, let's me know that you have a dirty mind too, sweetheart."

She flushed even deeper and even with the dim lighting, Bar could tell.

"I-I do not!"

"Lying isn't nice." Bar tsks. Clementine just huffs at him and with a grin, Bar leans down and kisses her nose.

All the attitude that the little goddess seemed to have melted away and it resulted in her smiling softly up at Bar.

Cute and cheeky little thing.

"Come on," He pulled back, locking their fingers together. He felt strange, getting excited over holding hands with someone. "We have a picnic to get to."

"Picnic?" This caught her attention and Bar could tell as her step quickened.

"Yep, now let's go." Bar came to a stop in front of a net-like, plastic wall. It had a zipper going up to at least ten feet but he only unzipped it up to his height.

Clementine gave him a questioning look when he motioned for her to enter and with an encouraging gesture, she did so.

Bar followed behind her closely, closing the zipper, and just made out her small gasp.

All around them were butterflies.

They were in the small trees that were placed inside the netted, square structure, on the ground, in little groups on flowers, and some were peacefully fluttering about.

There were monarchs, cabbage whites, red admirals, gatekeepers, Adonis blues, copper butterflies and many other kinds.

Bar looked at the little goddess as she stood there, amazed as she took in the scene before her.

The butterflies were beautiful and Clementine smiled widely as a daring one came to rest on her shoulder for a second before flying away.

"What is this place, Oly?" She breathed out. "It's b-beautiful."

"This is what I like to call Butterfly land." Bar said.

"How did you know about it?" She turned to him, those minty eyes staring into his as if she just found the secret to life and Bar loved the adorable sheen of amazement covered her features

"Law's big sister breeds all these butterflies, the whole property has a bunch of these tent things with hundred of butterflies in them. Jemma, his sister, let's me keep whatever butterflies I want in here as long as I help her take care of things whenever she needs an extra set of hands. It's my safe haven." Bar explained. "And I thought you'd like it."

"Like it?" She repeated. "I-I love it, this is perfect, Oly!"

Bar grinned, happy he pleased her. He was honestly a bit hesitant to take her here but his logic was simple: she likes butterfly stickers so she'd like butterflies, right?

"I'm glad you do." He gently rested his hand on her hip. "Now, want to see the rest?"

"There's more?" She said incredulously.

"Of course." Bar chuckled. "I might not go on dates a lot, or any dates for that matter, but I know how to plan one having to listen to Law bitch about his girlfriend. I honestly don't know why he's with someone who doesn't make him happy like how you make me happy."

"I make you happy, really?" Clementine asks, looking at Bar as he gently drags her over to the middle of the tent.

"Mhm." He hums out then points to a thick comforter on a large, thick cushion. "Sit on that and close your eyes."

"Yes, sir, Oly, sir." Clementine hides her smile. Bar rolls his eyes but watches as she does what she's told.

As soon as Clementine's eyes are closed, Bar grabs out everything from his bag.

He sets the movies next to his laptop and puts the snacks and different small sandwiches off to the side, he didn't know what the little goddess liked so he made plenty of options.

Bar got her a large bag of lollipops and a pack of Oreo cookies, four packets of butterfly stickers, and a purple dinosaur plushie.

He pulls all off this out of his backpack and gently- almost shyly- sets them down in front Clementine.

"Okay, babygirl." Bar says. "You can open your eyes."

Clementine blinks and just stares at it all, wide-eyed and mouth open.

She seemed absolutely shell shocked.

Fuck, he thinks, I probably didn't do enough, stupid-

But then the little goddess tackles him in a koala bear hug and presses kisses all over his face, upsetting his bruises a little but it was more enjoyable than anything else so Bar stayed silent.

"Thank you, Oly." She kissed his nose. "Getting m-me all that was really thoughtful and, and sweet."

Bar blushes and the little goddess noticed.

Fuck, she noticed.

"You're blushing!" Clementine gasps, shifting so she was pressed against Bar- which, of course, made him freeze and go even redder.

"No, I'm not." Bar grunted. "Fuck off."

"Don't be, don't be mean, Oly! You're blushing." She cupped his face and brushed her thumbs over his warm cheeks. "Aw, you're so cute."

"I am not cute," He glared at her. The little goddess cooed and squished his cheeks together in response.

Damn it, his cheeks have never been so warm before.

"Cute Oly," She poked his nose.

Bar blinked.

"You're cute, a-and sweet, and nice and," She smiled. "And blushing."

That was it.

That was the last straw.

Bar grabbed her by the waist, earning himself a squeak mixed with a small giggle, and flipped them over.

"N-no!" Clementine squealed, wriggling and thrashing as Bar began to tickle her. "Oly!"

"What?" He breathes, running his hands up and down her sides, making her laugh loudly. "Sorry, am I making you have an involuntary reaction? My bad."

"Oly," Her eyes crinkled as she tried to move away, which only exposed herself more to his fingers.

Clementine laughs so hard that she ends up crying, her body trying to wiggle itself away from Bar's torture.

"You gonna admit that I'm not cute, sweetheart?" Bar asks, tickling her neck.

"I'm not- I'm not gonna," She laughed, interrupting herself. "I'm not gonna l-lie."

"I'm not asking you to."

"Yes you," She gasps, trying to move away from Bar. "Yes, you are!"

"Everyone's truth is different, babygirl." Bar said. "And my truth is that I'm not fucking cute."

"You're t-the cutest." She corrected. "The cutest!"

"I have the most eager desire," Bar breathes out, tickling her more. "To have you between my lips right now, but alas, here I am, fucking tickling you instead."

"Perv!" She giggles, thrashing. "S-stop tickling me!"

Instantly, Bar pulled his hands away from her skin and just hovered over a breathless, smiling goofily Clementine.

"You're a, a meanie."

"Yep."

Bar chuckled lightly as she broke into another fit of giggles, when she wasn't even being tickled.

With the little goddess gasping for small intakes of air with a wild smile on her lips, a cute blush on her face that matched his, and her delectably soft body underneath him, Bar couldn't help but to be memorized.

Someone could tell Bar that the world was ending in five... four... three... two... and when they got to one all he would be thinking about is her.

"What?" Her eyes twinkle as she stares up at Bar.

"Nothing," Bar shakes his head. "You're just beautiful."

Clementine hums in reply.

Bar pulls them both into a sitting position and Clementine gives him a large, toothy smile. A blush covers her cheeks and swallows away her freckles and the darkness helps hide the scar running across her face.

Bar thought she looked particularly lovely then, with her joyful expression and twinkling eyes.

Clementine turned and eyed everything he had gotten her again and saw the lollipops, which she instantly grabbed for and popped one into her mouth, and then the plushie.

Grabbing it, the young goddess brings up the lilac Tyrannosaurus right to her face.

Blinking at it, then Bar, she asks, "Why?"

"What do you mean, why I got you it?" He tried to clarify. She nods. "Because you like dinosaurs and the color purple."

"That's it?"

"Yeah, I just wanted to make you happy. Now come on, let's watch a movie." Bar offered, dragging her closer to him so they were both perched in front of the laptop and next to the food.

Clementine threw Bar a slightly frustrated look, which he didn't understand, and then grabbed a small clementine from the snacks Bar brought.

"What m-movie?" Clementine asked, peeling the fruit. Bar watched her silently for a second.

"Harry Potter." He informed, staring at the clementine that the little goddess just began to eat. "Would that be considered cannibalism?"

"Um," Clementine paused chewing, frowning. "I-I don't think so?"

"If it were," Bar said. "Would you still eat them?"

She thought for a moment.

"No, because I could always just, just eat oranges."

"Ah, that's true."

"Harry Potter time?" The little goddess asks, her eyes gleaming as she looks over at the stack of movies.

Bar nodded and just like that, they got lost into a world of magic- and a boy who managed to live because of love, friendship, and the fact that Hermione saved him in Book One- while they were surrounded by butterflies and moonlight in their own world.

***

"Oly?" Clementine hesitatingly called out, pausing Prisoner of Askaban as she turned to face him, a monarch butterfly fluttering against her hair for a second.

Bar was already looking at the young goddess, having been entranced by how the light of the movie seemed to glow against her, and he raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah?" He turns to her now, his body feeling light and heavy at the same time as he restrains himself from getting closer.

The feeling always sprouted in his chest when he was around her, the urge to get closer- the need that he constantly refrained from.

His girl nervously pulled against the sleeves of her oversized sweater and shyly tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, "Can I ask you a question?"

Bar was positive she could ask him to do anything or to answer anything and he would, without a fucking question.

Well, not if it would hurt her or make her uncomfortable.

He didn't say that though, that would just make her flustered and break the focus he could see in those gorgeous minty eyes, he just nodded.

"It's about you, uh... when you were bullying me?" Her voice turned squeaky and Bar instantly tensed, wary of where this was going.

Bar loathed himself, more than anyone or anything.

More than his father.

Every time he remembers what he did, what he said, how he acted back then it cut at his heart and each laceration made him feel like he deserved each self-deprecating thought even more.

"Alright," His voice was strained, even a bit cold but not at her. Never at her. "What about it?"

Clementine only looked forward, her brows furrowed as they stared at his chest, seemingly stuck in her thoughts. Bar's heart restricts next to his lungs and stole some of his air away, knowing she was probably thinking about all the horrible things he had done to her.

The young goddess subconsciously moved closer to Bar, her legs coming over Bar's muscular thighs as she leans against the cushion.

Bar tensed further, attention instantly on the warmth of her body pressed into his and the enticing scent that always came with it. She smelled like vanilla and citrus and Bar loved it.

"Uh," She starts then paused. "There was this, this one moment in freshmen year before you moved, and you did something... that I don't really understand? I just want to um, to know why, I guess."

Clementine's words instantly made Bar's mind reel back into ninth grade- mulling over everything he could remember. He knew that his memory was messed up; depression, stress, and living with constant fear tends to leave gaps in people's mind.

He might've done something big, something he couldn't remember.

God, how many times has he hurt Clementine and can't remember it? How much pain has he caused her and can't even remember?

"What did I do?" Bar asked, his voice sad and self-condescending. "There was... a lot going on."

Clementine gulped. "Well, you um- It was lunch, you remember how you always kind of, kind of shoved me into the lockers after we got released from class? And you, you followed me to the library instead of going to hang out with those old friends of yours and-" The young goddess frowns deeply, cutting herself off, and Bar holds his breath, not knowing what she's talking about.

What did I do? Bar wondered, his fists clenching. Push her into the shelves? Rip up her books? God, she's always loved her books. Insult her? Yell? Did-

"I don't really know how to explain what happened," Clementine confessed, her minty eyes twinkling over at him like stars. "Can I just, uh, show you?"

Bar flinched back, his thoughts tangling as he managed to lose composure and blurt, "I left a scar?"

How? When? Bar never, never planned to hurt her that bad. Hell, he never liked hurting her back then! He was so stupid and angry- angry at the world, angry at his father, and angry at her for being... perfect.

He was angry at himself, back then, for having strong feelings for Clementine. For the girl, the only person, who he cared about that much other than Gwen.

But Bar thought he has and always will be unlovable.

So, he bullied her.

He bullied her to escape his own pain. He bullied her so he wasn't the only one suffering anymore- Bar has always felt so alone.

He bullied her to push her away, to make him a monster in her eyes before she could see what he really was.

At first, it was just little jeers and insults but then, then it became a habit.

Then, she became the one who he'd let his anger out on.

And Bar will never forgive himself for it. Never.

He'll go to hell happy if it means he'll be able to show her how utterly sorry he is. How he knows how horrible his actions were.

And now, now he scarred the young goddess.

Scarred.

Hell's my destination, Bar thought bitterly. So I might as well just cut to the chase for leaving that fucking scar on her body.

"What?" Clementine frowned, edging closer. "No, you didn't. You never left a scar."

Relief punctures his lungs and he releases a heavy breath, "Then what are you going to show me?"

"Do I, um, do I have permission to touch you?" Clementine asks instead of answers. Bar nods without hesitation, briefly wondering if she's going to hit him.

But then, fucking then she does something he would've never thought she'd ever had the damn guts to do.

She straddles him.

One of her soft, thick thighs on either side of his and her plump, round bottom on his lap.

He could feel every part of her and strained against his clothes- especially his jeans- as his whole body tensed, his thoughts taking a twist and diving right into the gutter.

He was pretty sure he never did this to her.

He'd remember, even if his memory was shit. But he won't complain, not when she was sitting on his like this with her chest pressed into his.

Realizing they had shut, Bar flashes his eyes open and is instantly met with bright minty eyes and flushed cheeks.

Clementine was blushing and on top of him.

How