[ idk if the emoji in the title will show up it's just me being an idiot // song is by flora cash. i'm almost obligated to tell you that the acoustic is really good too

warnings: language, drugs and alcohol,

concept: bad habits and time can really change a person into a caricature of who they used to be, or a hollow shell. Or even a marionette, the strings being pulled by someone or something else.

lew stop writing shitty stuff when you're tired challenge

stay safe,
lew. ]

—————

"Logan, what do you think it'll be like when we start touring?" Lewis asked, looking up at the starry sky.

Logan was laying back on the soft grass, lazily studying the sky as well. "It'll be amazing. Like a nonstop party. We'll have all these fans and people wanting to talk to us, and we'll get to know so many amazing musicians."

Lewis was silent for a long moment, his hands nervously running over the grass they were sitting on. When he spoke again, his voice was unsteady. "I always heard life on tour is really rough. You start forgetting where you are and where you've been and what day it is. Plus there's the whole drugs and alcohol thing..."

"Hey. Look at me," he murmured, reaching out to grab the other boy's hand. "I promised you, and I promised your mom. I won't let you do something you'll regret."

Slowly, he allowed himself to smile, squeezing Logan's hand. "I'm glad you're my best friend."

——

Three years later, those words came flooding back as Lewis looked down at Logan, who was resting his head in Lewis' lap, a bucket on the floor in front of him.

It's hard to protect someone from something if you yourself has fallen victim.

It took forever to get the information from him, but Logan had done cocaine at some point during the day. Neither of them had left the house all day, and that left an uneasy feeling in Lewis' stomach.

After arguing over it, Lewis convinced Logan to stay downstairs with him so he could keep an eye on him and watch for any signs of an overdose. He gently ran his fingers through the younger man's hair, earning himself a small kiss on his leg.

This wasn't his best friend. This wasn't his boyfriend. This was someone that drugs got their filthy hold on, someone that was a mockery of who they were.

He looked like Logan, talked like Logan, but part of what made him Lewis' favorite person was gone, replaced with irritability and a need for something illegal.

——

This wasn't his best friend either.

The two of them had changed so much from the teenagers they'd been eight years ago.

Lewis had gotten help for his anxiety, got himself a loving girlfriend, and even adopted a dog. Sure, he'd had a few rough patches, horrible breakups and relapses on smoking, but personality-wise, he was the same old Lewis he'd been.

Logan had changed so much, though. Getting clean, getting married, then losing both his wife and their son. Trying to take his life. This wasn't the same Logan that carried Lewis places simply because Lewis asked.

This Logan was different, depression and despair showing in his eyes instead of the joking and warm look.

But years and experiences always dampen and manipulate the people we know, and if you aren't there to constantly witness the subtle changes, it's a shock when you see the result.