[ i hate myself but i'm trying not to tbh // song is by attic abasement

warnings: language, mentions insomnia ?? more like disordered sleeping if that makes sense. it's lewis late-night-spamming logan so it's gonna be dumb shit

stay safe,
lew. ]

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Lewis hates his sleep 'schedule'. He gets a good two or three hours, and then his dumbass fucking body wakes him up and he can't fall asleep until almost sunrise. It's dumb as hell and it wears him out, but it's better than the other options: never sleeping or being plagued by nightmares.

Normally, he'd text his sister in law and tell her what was bothering him. If he sent the messages around three am, she'd be getting ready for work (fucking time zones).

If anyone asked, he's blaming tonight's texts on clicking on his messages app rather than his notes.

He unplugs his phone, then rolls over to face the wall. The only notification on his screen is alerting him of a discount in his tuner app; Fender offering up guitar lessons. Like he really needs that.

He opens up his and Logan's conversation, smiling faintly at the last messages. (They were bickering over movies again; Logan was going to make him watch Titanic soon.)

yo, ik it's late rn & ur probably asleep but
i need to talk??

i'm just gonna send a fuckton of messages oops

anyway ik most of the kids at school hate me
it rlly shouldn't bother me but it does?

i never wanted to be popular but
like, at my old school, mase & chloe protected me & people listened to them

but here no one rlly comes after me
but they're assholes all the same

idk i never noticed how awful they are until i stopped smoking

until i didn't have that vice / distraction anymore.

and it's just like, why??

ik i don't look like a high school senior

ik i used to smell like a fucking ashtray

ik i don't have friends other than you (thank you bless your entire soul btw)

but still, no one deserves to be referred to like that??

i mean yeah i'm technically a freak bc the flower thing

but isn't everyone kinda a freak??

there is no real normal.

& you made me see that i'm not what they call me.

i mean... you're the reason i actually have a bit of self confidence

& you didn't have to put up with me.

but you do & i can never repay you for that

i'm so fucking glad you're my best friend

sorry for the message spam, i just needed to ramble

just delete them without reading lmao

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[ hi this is lew and this was also a shitty filler thing to tell y'all that i'm gonna work on adapting /rewriting an old story concept of mine to work with these characters!! my bandmate is gonna be pissed lmao she loved the concept but i was uninspired using those new ocs.

the concept:

your favorite oc band dies in a 'freak accident' (more like murder) and instead of going to their respective afterlives, they're stuck in limbo as ghosts until they can figure out what's keeping them and some other ghosts anchored there.

idk it was a rlly cool concept based on skulls by bastille but now it's gonna be labeled "dead kid$" because love in future times has my entire heart