I showered when I got home and hadn't eaten anything since lunch. I walked downstairs and grabbed a glass of water then proceeded to go sit in front of the couch.

I sat in silence. All I could do was think. Was I making the right choice? Was 2 years of my life wasted?

I heard the front door open and keys drop on the counter. "Ken?"

I looked behind me and saw my mom getting closer. "Right here."

She sat behind me not saying anything. Her hand found its way to the top of my shoulder. Just her touch made me feel safe. I had always relied on my mom. She knew the right words to say and gave the best comfort.

I looked down fidgeting with my hands. "Where's Zach?"

"We um..we booked a hotel for him tonight." She sighed. I knew she was disappointed and that stung. "Kenny, can I ask you something?"

"Yeah." I softly spoke.

"When did you know?" She asked.

I looked up at her with my brows furrowed. "When did I know what?"

"When did you know you liked Rafe? He's been around since you and Topper were little kids. You've never cared to pay attention to him." My mom asked.

"I-...at the beach like two days ago." I sighed. I had to tell her. She's my mom, I can't lie.

"Audrey's anniversary." My mom nodded her head almost like she understood. "What made you like him?"

"He cared. He made me laugh when I needed it and he makes me feel safe." I bit my lip.

My mom cleared her throat. "Did you- and I don't mean this in any bad way but, did you ever consider Zach's feelings?"

"I knew what I was doing was wrong and Rafe knew about Zach but I can be myself around Rafe, I feel like when Zach is around I have to be perfect and I can't have fun." I looked down at my hands.

"I know you like Rafe, but you owe Zach an explanation Ken. I mean you two have been together for so long. He needs something from you." My mom slowly sat beside me.

"I know. I'll talk to him tomorrow okay?" I looked at her genuinely.

*START SONG*

"Okay. I love you Kenny." She brushed my hair behind my ear.

"I love you too mom." I laid my head on her shoulder as we sat there.

Later that afternoon I drove down to the beach. The sun had slowly started to fade by the time I got there. I grabbed my backpack that had my blanket inside and headed to find a spot.

I sat watching families around me and the waves crash. It wasn't as peaceful as the sun rising but it was still comforting.

"Come here often?" My head spun in confusion which changed to a smile when I saw him.

"Hi." I looked up at him. He plopped down next to me like the other day.

"You just love having attention don't you?" Rafe joked.

"I always seem to have the spotlight don't I?" I laughed.

"I'm sorry." Rafe apologized.

"No. Don't do that. It's not your fault. I fell for you and ended up hurting someone." I shrugged and grabbed my knees pulling them in close to my chest.

"I fell for you too Ken. The day you gave Barry the money. You cared." He looked at me with pure eyes.

I looked into his eyes. Everything about him was genuine. The only other person I could talk to the way I talk with him was Audrey. The one person who made me feel whole, like I belonged was the person I lost but I gained someone who makes me feel the same way...and that's why I fell for him.

"I don't know what the future holds Rafe, but I do know that you're in it and that scares me but I'm willing to risk everything." I grabbed his hand letting my knees drop into a criss cross position.

Rafe's hand made its way to my cheek and pulled me in for a kiss. "You are the only one I'd risk everything for."

I kissed him once again and leaned into his chest. That was why I liked him. It wasn't because he was cute or had a nice body, there were things I didn't like about him like his drinking or drug habits, but he'd do anything for me. That's what I wanted.