⊱ 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐀𝐍 𝐖𝐇𝐎 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔 ⊰

「ꜰɪʀꜱᴛ ꜱᴄᴇɴᴇ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴀɪɴꜱ ᴀ ʙɪᴛ ᴏꜰ ɢᴏʀᴇ! ᴀʟꜱᴏ, ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴏʟʟᴏᴡɪɴɢ ꜱɪᴅᴇ ꜱᴛᴏʀʏ ᴀʀᴇ ʙᴏᴛʜ ᴜɴᴇᴅɪᴛᴇᴅ. ᴛʜᴇ ɴᴇxᴛ ꜱɪᴅᴇ ꜱᴛᴏʀʏ ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀꜱᴛ ɪ ᴘʟᴀɴ ᴏɴ ʀᴇʟᴇᴀꜱɪɴɢ.」

Makoto was walking down the dimly lit sidewalk, her heels clicking against the pavement as she frantically glanced around, making sure no one was present. Her breathing was heavy and her panic was gradually rising as disembodied sounds scattered all around her.

"Oh god, oh god, oh god..."

She hurried faster until she began passing an alley, where she was abruptly pulled inside and shoved against a brick wall. She sucked in a breath through gritted teeth and winced, aimlessly kicking and throwing her arms around to try hitting her assailant. However, it didn't do any good.

She opened her eyes, but she had hardly enough time to comprehend who was in front of her before he impaled her stomach with his knife. She gasped and stared into his eyes with horror of what was taking place, but she could do nothing.

A sinister grin took over his face as he dragged the knife from her stomach up to her chest, ripping her shirt, skin, and organs in the process. She gagged and coughed blood onto the man, but it didn't seem to faze him. If anything, it fueled his drive to disfigure her further.

She tried to scream, but blood was flooding her throat and suffocating her as he lifted her shirt and her insides poured out in a disturbing show of flesh. The man laughed maniacally as he watched her die, feeling his thirst for blood become satiated. His laugh morphed into a horrific scream as the light from Makoto's eyes died.

Kunikuzushi shot upright with beads of sweat resting on his forehead as he breathed heavier by the second, his mind recalling each detail of the nightmare he'd just experienced. His eyes were teary, though he wiped it away.

His lips quivered and his breathing quieted, though it still trembled. He still trembled.

━━━━⊱✿⊰━━━━

"I'll be fine, seriously. Childe will be there, and he'll take literally any chance he gets to kick Scaramouche's ass, trust me."

"I just... thought you wanted me to go with you," Gorou replied as you slipped your arms through the sleeves of your coat.

"Y'know, I would really love that, but I don't want you ending up with a broken leg or something. Besides, this can be your chance to talk with Kokomi about... yesterday," you said. "Call her, please."

He sighed and bit the inside of his cheek as his ears drooped, "Okay... I'm not sure if she'll pick up, though."

"Then at least you can say you tried."

You shot him a smile before jumping out the door, running to Childe's car while holding your hat to your head. You hopped in on the passengers' side and exhaled, ripping the beanie off your head. Seeing that you were inside, Childe gently leaned his foot on the gas and pulled away from Gorou's house, heading for the park.

You pulled out your phone and checked your conversation with Scaramouche, but there were no new messages.

Me
I might be a bit late, I have to stop at home for warmer clothes.
sent 3:23 pm

Sighing, you returned it to your pocket and glanced out the window as your teeth slightly chittered from the cold air. Meanwhile, Childe peeked over at you and a half-smile tugged his lips.

"Cold?" He asked, reaching over and turning the heat up.

"Only a little."

"Oh, I guess you're shivering from nervousness, then," he quirked a brow and smirked as you whipped your head around with a fierce glare.

"How even dare you suggest such a thing," you huffed. "God, I hope this will be quick, or else I might freeze..."

"Well, Scaramouche is never quick about anything, unless it's skipping class. So... tough luck."

You held your hands up to your mouth and exhaled heavily in an attempt to warm them up. After rubbing them together, you stuck them between your legs and shifted in your seat, rocking from side to side.

"Why do you not seem affected by this at all whatsoever?" You asked, narrowing your eyes at your friend.

He chuckled, "Because I'm used to it."

"Oh, how convenient for you," you murmured, your breath shaky. "I think the only time I was this cold was when I was a kid and my family took a trip to Dragonspine."

"Dragonspine?"

"Yeah. We went skiing, built snowmen, stayed in a hotel on the mountain, had no wifi; all that shit. It sucked."

"Wh- I get the no wifi part, but why did everything else suck?" He questioned.

"Well, I didn't care about the wifi because I was, like, five. But it was so cold outside that I could barely move, even with a ton of winter coats. I also accidentally hit my head on a tree when I was skiing, even though it was only the small hill for kids."

"Y'know, that explains a lot," he nodded.

"Pfft, shut up," you laughed. "There was only one part I liked, and it was... my sister being there."

He was silent, waiting patiently if you wanted to say anything else. You could see his expression twist into one of sympathy and pity, though.

"Sorry, I've just been thinking about her a lot, with all that's happening..."

"Don't worry, it's fine. You can talk about her if you want, we still have a minute or two."

You smiled bitterly and tilted your head to look at your feet, "She tried to make everything better for me on that trip. She stuck by my side, gave me a few of her scarves to wear, and even bought a heating pad to put under it all. I mean, it helped, but against the cold of Dragonspine? No way. I liked building snowmen with her, since it always ended in a snowball fight, and despite my horrifically bad aim, she still let me win. Obviously, as a kid, I thought I was the shit, but nope."

"It sounds like she was... awesome."

"Yeah, she had some issues but she always put them aside for me. I feel bad, though, 'cause I didn't have the emotional maturity to be there for her when she needed it," you said, swinging your feet back and forth. "God, if she were here, Scaramouche would already be long dead. Pfft, she would've poked his eyes out or something... At times like this, I wonder what advice she would've given me, but I can never really pinpoint anything. I didn't understand most of what she told me when I was little, and a lot of it just poofed out of my memory."

His gaze was somber as he parked along the sidewalk, shutting the car off and unbuckling his seatbelt. You remained still, roaming in your own thoughts. After a minute, you realized the vehicle stopped and your head perked up. Your eyes wandered to the windshield and you squinted, trying to see Scaramouche's form in the park under the grey sky. For some strange reason, no one else was present. Perhaps because of the weather.

"Can you not see him?" Childe furrowed his brows, confused. "He's right there."

"I mean, he's pretty short, so he kinda blends in," you mumbled before your eyes caught him. "Oh, nevermind."

Childe chuckled heartily, "It's gonna rain soon, so tell him to cut the bullshit and get to the point."

"Maybe," you rolled your eyes playfully and undid the seatbelt. You grabbed the door handle and pulled it, causing a click sound. "At least you can talk to yourself again now."

"I- Excuse me?"

"Don't play dumb, I know you talk to yourself, I've literally heard you," you replied. "Anyway, see ya in a few."

"Yep."

You opened the door and leaped out, slamming it closed behind you. You shoved your hands into your pockets and stiffly speed-walked over, breaking into a somewhat jog just before you reached him. He was facing away from you, swaying on the swingset.

Kunikuzushi heard the chains jangle as you took a seat on the swing next to him, causing his gaze to bolt over. He scanned your figure briefly, in disbelief that you actually showed up. You turned your head and your eyes clashed with his. Feeling this to be too intimate, he returned his line of sight to the ground in front of him as he weakly pushed himself with his feet.

"Do you remember when I first took you here?"

Your eyes widened at the sound of his voice, "...Yeah."

He sighed and turned his head away, "I took you here because this place is... special to me. That's why I wanted to be here to... explain things."

"Okay..." You nodded slowly, waiting for the actual explanation.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, "I'm sorry."

You felt a sting of surprise when those words left his mouth, but refrained from saying anything. Instead, you allowed him to continue while subtly shivering, trying to keep it from being apparent. Kunikuzushi peeked at you from the corner of his eye and noticed, so he shrugged off his own coat and held it out to you.

"Take it."

You hesitantly tossed it over your shoulders and used both your hands to keep it on. Your eyes still showed bewilderment from the entire situation, which he chuckled at as he leaned forward, letting his feet rest on the ground to stop the swing from moving.

"I... shouldn't have treated you the way I did. I recognize that, and I always did. That's what makes it worse," he exhaled, allowing you to see his breath in the cold air. It made him seem... more human, somehow.

He continued, "This park is special to me because of someone who... isn't here anymore. As a kid, I was bullied like hell, and a lot of it happened here until I decided not to come anymore. I loved it here, though, since it was the only place I could actually play. I did not get a lot of toys for Christmas or my birthday."

His bitter smile was another shock, along with the sincerity of his voice, on the edge of breaking. He was presenting himself as real, and you weren't sure what to think yet, so all you did was listen.

"My aunt knew how much I liked it here, so she would come here with me on weekends during nighttime. She would..." He paused and chuckled. "She would get on her knees and pretend to be another kid, serving my every command. It was... ridiculous, but-"

He halted once again, sucking in a shaky breath and closing his eyes again, "But I loved it. I loved her. She did all sorts of things for me. She tried to make friends for me, but none of them stayed for long. She remembered my birthday when my mom didn't, and she would give me encouraging words when I couldn't get them from anywhere else."

Your body relaxed and you could hardly feel the cold anymore as you were more focused on both his words and your emotions. You pulled his coat tighter onto your body and pressed your lips together.

"She was..." His lips quivered. "She was such a nice person, and a good woman. She would've been a great mom, too. She wanted to be."

"What... What happened...?"

He looked back at you before moving his gaze skyward, viewing the grey clouds while thinking of the stars that he simply couldn't see, "She was murdered."

You let out an involuntary gasp and examined the faraway glint in his eye, like he was imagining himself in a much better place than where his physical body resided.

"I don't know much about what happened, but I know she was killed at night, like a lot of women. I've always imagined the circumstances, and how brutally it might've been since I was never told how they killed her. I had nightmares about it. Some of them were the same, but others were a lot worse. I... still get those, sometimes."

"Oh..."

"So when I..." His eyes suddenly brimmed with tears, causing them to look glossy. "When I couldn't find you at that stupid party, I thought... Something bad must've happened. I thought 'she's gorgeous, young, vulnerable, and it's dark outside! How could she not be hurt?' Then you finally picked up my calls and you were drunk, and you said you were with someone better, and I...!"

You were confused how he was so upset, since you were under the impression that he hadn't cared about you in the slightest, but you could see that you were being proven wrong. He took a deep breath to regain his composure and pressed his palms against his eyelids for a moment before peering back at the ground.

"This place is special to me, and you're here because you're special to me, even if I made it seem like the opposite," he said softly. "I know what you thought our relationship was, but it wasn't true. On my part, at least. You thought we were just using each other, right? You were just using me for... god knows what. But I... I love you, Y/n. I did then, and I do now. I was just... stupid."

You felt tears prick your eyes as his words reached your ears and you truly absorbed them. They sounded so... genuine. Too genuine to be fake. He was so genuine, it was almost overwhelming. You never knew he was grieving, but maybe you could've helped each other had you known. His thoughts flooded through his head too quickly for him to comprehend, so his next words ended in a tsunami of emotion he couldn't control.

"The reason I treated you that way was because the last time I loved someone, she died, and I guess, as a kid, I always thought it was my fault. A part of my mind still thinks that, so I tried to be the worst person I possibly could to get you to break up with me, but it wasn't working, and I realized that if I really cared for you, I shouldn't have been putting you through so much pain. Even after figuring that out, though, I still wanted to take the coward's way out by saying I was dating someone else, so at that party, I was going to end things, but you ran away and I was left alone."

He ran his fingers through his hair and shut his eyes as the tears finally slipped out, landing on the mulch below.

"I-I wanted to be the one to make things good again by leaving you and letting you actually be happy, but when you broke up with me, I realized that it was your right to leave me, because of everything I did. I shouldn't have gotten together with you in the first place, I know, but I just wanted to try and see if maybe, for once, things would work out. But obviously, it didn't. I was so stupid to think I was good enough for you, or anyone else, but especially you. You've always been... amazing, and I've been broken. Then I spread all of that to you, because when I realized you wouldn't leave me, that was when I found out how broken you were. I was awful, and you still..."

He paused, "...None of this justifies the way I acted. Trauma isn't an excuse to be a dick, I know. And I don't... I don't expect forgiveness, but I- I thought you should know... And I thought maybe, by telling you this, I'd be able to move on with my life like you did. I'm... I'm trying to be better, and nicer to people. I know I need to get better and stop making other people's lives miserable if I want to improve mine, so... I'm just trying."

You'd never seen him cry before. You had never seen the Scaramouche, plagued by tears that burned his eyes and blocked his vision.

"...Can you at least look at me for more than two seconds?" You requested with a trembling voice and a strong exhale, sounding almost like a laugh.

He reluctantly turned his head and made eye contact with you. Staring into his deep, purple irises, you could see his true character. He was a broken boy, who acted strong to keep the predators away. You gave him a small smile and he stared in confusion as a light blush coated his cheeks, though you couldn't tell if it was because of the cold or not.

"I don't know if I can forgive you," you gently shook your head. "But I'm sorry, for all you had to go through. And... I'll think about giving you a second chance. I... I need a bit of time, though. Just a few days."

"That's fine," he nodded, his face still expressing astonishment. "Um, could you... not tell anyone about this, though?"

"I wasn't planning to," you responded as you stood up. "I should get out of here, though. It's gonna start raining."

You took off his coat, intending to hand it back, but he stopped you.

"Keep it."

"What-? But won't you get cold?"

He swiveled around to avoid looking at you, "Just keep it."

"...Okay... Well, thank you, Scaramouche."

"Kunikuzushi."

"Huh?" You furrowed your brows and threw his coat back over your shoulders.

"Kunikuzushi. It's... my real name."

"...Thank you, Kunikuzushi. And... I'm sorry, for using you."

━━━━⊱✿⊰━━━━

"Alright, time for a break! You all are exhausting me..."

Running through the entire play was time-consuming and tiring.

You sighed in relief and plopped down in one of the theater's chairs, feeling the soft cushion underneath you. Gorou took the seat beside you, at the end of the row, and leaned back.

"Has Kokomi still not talked to you?" You asked, turning your body to him as you relaxed.

"Not at all," he answered, furrowing his brows. "She hasn't even texted me... I guess I'll have to see her at school on Monday."

"...Or maybe not..."

"Uh, what do you mean?"

You nodded your head toward the entrance doors and he followed your motions, seeing that Kokomi was walking down the aisle between the seats. You stood up and took a step back, causing him to look back at you.

"Please don't-"

"Sorry, but you have to figure this out on your own. I think she'd rather it be a private conversation," you said, holding your hands up innocently as you backed away. "Good luck, don't be a dumbass."

He sighed as you left and went to talk with Childe instead. He narrowed his eyes at the both of you before turning his head at the sound of Kokomi's voice.

"I'm sorry for not responding to your calls."

He smiled kindly, "It's fine, I get it. I'm sure it feels awkward for you..."

"Yes, but..." She took the spot you were previously sitting in as her hair flowed over her shoulders. "I need to apologize. I've been racked with guilt... I'm so sorry for telling you how I felt. I don't want to complicate anything, or make you feel like you have to respond, or somehow jeopardize your relationship! I don't want you to feel like you owe me anything, because you don't."

"Thank you," he frowned. "Is there any way I can make you feel better, though?"

"No, I don't... I don't believe so," she replied, avoiding eye contact by letting her eyes wander around the room, to the other students in costume. "Why aren't you in costume?"

"Oh! Uh, it's a bit... embarrassing. I was in costume earlier, but Y/n said it was distracting," he chuckled awkwardly.

"Well, everyone looks amazing," Kokomi smiled. "It looks high-budget."

"Yeah, I'm not sure where Miss Yae got the funds for this... But I think it's better not to ask."

"Probably," she giggled. "Ah, I just... Came to apologize. I wouldn't want to spoil the surprise of the play for myself, though, so I'll get going."

"Alright... Thanks for talking to me, at least. And if there's anything I can do for you, please let me know!"

She bit her lip and stood up, clasping her hands