i once believed love would be black and white but it's golden

ari's pov:

ever since that kiss happened, i can't hink of anything else but, there are still so many thought that i want to close out.

i've been in a relationship before, only one. i don't like to talk about it because we did not end on good terms. he was and awful person, an awful boyfriend. i'm sending out prayers to whoeevr he's with now, hoping they're strong enough to see the warning signs early. he was controlling-so suffocating that I couldn't even go out with my friends without him giving me long-winded lectures about the most random things, always finding a way to make me feel guilty.

when i was with him, i was only sixteen. he was twenty-two. back then, I didn't understand how wrong that was. I thought his possessiveness was love, that his need to control me meant he cared. I was young, naive, and desperate for someone to see me. he saw that vulnerability and used it against me.

now, every time I start to feel something real with someone new, like aubs, those old memories start creeping in. the fear of losing myself again, the fear of giving too much of myself away, it all comes back. I wonder if she could ever understand the kind of damage that past left behind, the scars it etched into my heart. I wonder if I'll ever fully be free of it.

but I want to be. god, do I want to be.

today was game day for the girls, and the campus was buzzing with energy. every corner of storrs seemed to hum with excitement, from the dorms to the dining halls to the student union. the usual calm of a sunday was replaced with the lively chatter of students decked out in blue and white, proudly donning their Huskies gear. the game was all anyone could talk about.

me and aubrey hadn't spoken much since the kiss-a single moment that seemed to hang in the air between us like an unfinished conversation. i was terrified to take another step forward. but today wasn't about me and aubrey.

as I walked into gampel pavilon, the familiar scent of popcorn and sweat mixed with the metallic tang of anticipation in the air. the roar of the crowd already echoed through the concourse, a pulsing heartbeat that reverberated through the walls. I found my seat in the student section, surrounded by my friends.

the lights dimmed, and the hype video began to play on the massive screen overhead. clips of the team's best moments-dunks, fast breaks, buzzer-beaters-flashed by, each one met with a surge of cheers. I couldn't help but get caught up in the excitement, momentarily forgetting everything that had been weighing on me.

the starting lineup was announced, and the cheers turned to deafening roars. the players jogged out onto the court, their faces focused and determined. there was no room for distraction on a day like this. I envied their single-mindedness, the way they could shut out everything else and focus on the game.

the first quarter started with a bang-uconn took control early, pushing the pace and dominating on both ends of the floor. every pass, every shot, every defensive stand was met with thunderous applause. we were on our feet, shouting until our throats hurt. For a few minutes, everything else melted away, and I was just another fan in a sea of blue, living in the moment.

i adored every single one of them. sadly, there were too many injured players who couldn't play the whole season and one of them is aubrey. there are other people, obviously and one of them being azzi. she is incredible on the court it's satisfying to watch her play and so is caroline, who is also out due to neck-head injuries. the other two are ayanna and jana. jana didn't even had the chance to play at all in her freshman year but she had to be one of the loudest people. i haven't really talked to yanna a lot but i'm looking forward to. just because i'm not talking to her doesn't mean i don't appreciate her just as much as the other.

as if fate was determined to keep me from escaping my thoughts, I spotted aubrey across the court. she was sitting with jana and azzi who were cheering for the team on the court as well as everyone else. when she caught sight of me, her smile brigthened. she raised her hand in a small wave, and i hesitated before returning it.

the game raged on, but I couldn't stop glancing over at her. I was torn between wanting to talk to her and well, not. every time I looked her way, memories of the kiss flooded back-her lips soft and tentative against mine, the warmth of her hand on my cheek, the way time seemed to stop.

as the game clock ticked down, uconn held on to their lead. the crowd was electric, feeding off the energy of the players who fought for every possession. and then, in the final seconds, as the victory became certain, the tension I had been holding in for so long finally started to release.

when the final buzzer sounded, the arena erupted into cheers, the victory a celebration of something bigger than just basketball. the players hugged on the court, coaches exchanged high-fives, and the fans embraced in the stands. I watched aubrey from across the court, her smile now radiant, walking over to her team. In that moment, she looked so carefree, so happy, that it hurt.

I knew that after today, we would have to talk. we couldn't keep dancing around what had happened between us, couldn't keep letting the weight of it hang over our heads. but for tonight, I decided to let it go. i was still admiring the girls hugging, and then walking over to the other team, high-fiving each of them when i saw someone too familiar in the stands.

it's him.