A few days have passed since the training incident, and Toji's pain has subsided. Though the memory of the kick to his privates is still lingering but more as a source of occasional amusement than genuine discomfort.

He's currently making his way through the estate, searching for Helia. A slight frown of concentration crosses his face as he moves and looks around, a hint of determination in his gaze.

He notices a figure in a maid uniform bent down, the person's head hidden from view. A smile begins to form on his lips as he approaches, hoping that it's Helia. He takes a few steps closer, his pace casual but purposeful as he closes the distance between them.

As he gets closer to the maid, he almost expects to see Helia's face, but when the maid stands up, revealing their red hair, Toji's smile instantly fades.

Disappointment flickers across his face as he realizes it's not Helia, and a hint of annoyance flickers in his eyes.

He schools his features into a neutral expression, resuming the facade of indifference and disinterest that he typically wears around others.

The red-haired maid's face lights up upon seeing Toji, a wide smile spreading across her face as she speaks to him. Her tone is filled with excitement, and she seems genuinely happy to see him.

"Toji!"

He glances at the red-haired maid's exuberant greeting, his expression remaining cold and almost disgusted. Without giving her a second look, he turns around and begins walking away, clearly uninterested in engaging with her further.

The maid follows behind him, but Toji continues to walk away, his stride unfaltering, his expression distant and detached.

"Wait! I have something to tell you!" He doesn't acknowledge her pursuit, continuing on his way, his silence signaling his disregard for whatever she has to say.

The maid's voice rises as she raises her voice, desperate to get Toji's attention.

"It's about Helia!"

The mention of her name causes him to involuntarily slow his stride, his pace faltering just a bit, but his expression remains stoic and distant.

"What about her?" He responds, his tone short and clipped, his interest piqued despite his attempt to appear indifferent.

The maid takes note of his faltering steps and the flicker of interest in his expression, a sly smile spreading across her face as she realizes she has finally captured his attention.

"I'm a friend of Helia, and even if she didn't tell me anything, I know there is something going on between you two..."

His expression remains guarded, but there's a subtle flicker of surprise in his eyes.

"What the hell are you talking about?" He snaps, his voice laced with irritation and denial, trying to maintain his facade of indifference.

"But don't worry I won't tell anyone! It's just that, I think you should know something..."

She stops and takes the most innocent tone she can before continuing. "...Every night she goes into your father's office..."

His expression hardens, a mix of surprise and suspicion crossing his features. He responds with a dismissive scoff, refusing to believe the maid's words.

The notion of Helia sneaking into his father's office every night seems like a ridiculous fabrication, and he calls bullshit on her claim.

He turns away, his shoulders tensing in frustration, intending to walk away from the conversation.

Seeing him getting ready to leave, the maid almost screams. "I know your father asked her to spy on you Toji! If you don't believe me, you just have to follow her tonight!"

Her revelation hits Toji like a punch to the gut, his expression faltering for a moment, the words striking a nerve.

He stops in his tracks, his jaw clenching, his mind racing. His first instinct is to dismiss the information, but the possibility of Helia being instructed to spy on him by his own father creates a very small doubt in his mind.

Despite that, Toji maintains his usual cool, detached demeanor on the outside. He resumes walking away from the maid, his face a mask of indifference, giving no indication of the inner turmoil that is now consuming him.

The red-haired maid stands there, watching as he walks away, a sly smile playing on her lips. As he disappears from view, she lets out a soft whisper, her voice dripping with satisfaction.

"Take that, Helia..."

[...]

Toji continues to walk, his mind burning with conflicting thoughts. The maid's words have struck a nerve, planting seeds of doubt and uncertainty in his mind.

On the outside, he may appear calm and steady, but internally, a storm of emotions is raging.

He knows he should trust Helia, but the revelation that she might be spying on him for his father has set his thoughts on a rollercoaster of confusion and betrayal.

He clenches his fists, a mix of anger and denial stirring within him. He refuses to fully believe that she would do such a thing, that she would betray him in such a way.

His mind replays the moments shared between them, the trust he had placed in her, the intimacy they had built.

Every part of him wanted to deny the idea, to reject the possibility that Helia could be capable of spying on him. He knew she deeply cared about him, and it was difficult to reconcile that fact with the potential betrayal suggested by the maid.

His mind churned, attempting to rationalize and make sense of the situation, fighting back the growing sense of betrayal and insecurity.

His thoughts start to spiral, a wave of doubt and insecurity washing over him. Perhaps there was some truth to the maid's words. No one had cared about him before, what if Helia was playing him like a fool? What if she was pretending, just a pawn in his father's game?

His heart tugs with pain as he allows these insidious thoughts to consume him, his trust in her wavering in the face of newfound uncertainty.

His suspicions deepen as he considers the time they've spent together. Hours upon hours of shared moments, conversations, laughter, and even intimacy.

Did all that time provide her with ample opportunity to gather information for his father? Did she use their closeness to him to fuel her espionage?

His mind reels with the conflicting emotions that course through him. Part of him vividly rejects the possibility that she would betray him, the thought of doubting her tugging at his heartstrings.

But there's a voice in the back of his head whispering the uncomfortable truth-no one had ever truly cared about him. So then, why did she care? Was it all just an act, or was there genuine sentiment behind it?

He didn't want to believe it, he desperately didn't want to, but the doubts clawed at his mind like vicious animals, sowing seeds of doubt and confusion in his heart.

His gaze turns downward, his shoulders hunching under the weight of his own self-doubt, as he navigated the corridors, his path guided by habit rather than conscious thought.

A chorus of harsh inner voices whispers doubts and insecurities in his mind. He feels the weight of his perceived failures, the burden of his own worthlessness.

The idea that she genuinely cared for him seemed increasingly ludicrous, a hopeful illusion in a world full of distrust and manipulation.

But he still desperately clings to the hope that everything between them was genuine. He clings to it with all his being, as if it's the only thing keeping him afloat in this sea of doubt and insecurity.

Because if it was all a facade, it would mean that he had opened himself up to someone who manipulated him, something that would be devastating to his already wounded soul.

His mind starts to form a plan, a way to ease his doubts and insecurities. He reasons to himself that checking wouldn't hurt, that it's just a means to assure himself that the maid's claims are false.

Yes, he could follow Helia tonight, just to observe where she goes.

[...]

At nighttime, Toji stood in the shadows of the corridor, his back against the cold, stone wall. He was dressed in dark, inconspicuous clothing, blending into the darkness around him.

He felt a pang of discomfort and shame as he waited, questioning his own actions. What was he doing, stalking her like this? He knew he should trust her, that he should believe in the genuine care and affection she had shown towards him.

But the doubt and insecurity that had gnawed at him all day pushed him forward, driving him to continue with this desperate plan to reassure his racing thoughts.

His gaze sharpens as he sees Helia emerge from the maid quarters and look around. As she starts walking down the corridor, he pushes himself off the wall and slips into the shadows, following her as quietly as he can without revealing his presence.

He moves quickly and stealthily, staying just out of her line of sight as he follows her every move down the hallway.

His usually calm heart races in his chest, every step, every flicker of movement, heightens his senses. With each passing moment, he senses his fear growing, the unknown of where she's going and what she'll do causing a knot to form in his stomach.

His stomach drops as he continues to follow her down the corridors, realization and shock washing over him. The route she's taking is familiar to him, too familiar.

It leads directly to his father's office. The very place the maid had mentioned Helia would go at night. His mind races, his emotions swirling between disbelief and a sinking feeling of dread.

He clings onto a sliver of hope as he continues to follow her down the familiar path. Maybe she was just taking this route, maybe she was going somewhere else-anywhere but his father's office.

But that hope is soon destroyed, and his heart sinks as he sees her knock on the door of his father's office, confirming the worst of his fears.

The realization hits him like a ton of bricks, smashing the sliver of hope he had been clinging onto. He lets out a shaky exhale, the weight of betrayal and disappointment crashing down upon him.

The sound of the knock on the door sounds like a final nail in the coffin, the sound echoing in his mind, sealing his fears.

He stands there in the shadows, his chest tight with a mixture of fear, hurt, and desperate hope. He watches as she enters the room, and his mind struggles to concoct an alternative explanation.

Maybe she was just going in there for something else, to get something or speak about the maids. Maybe she didn't have some sinister motive behind her visits to his father's office. But as he stands there, his heart tells him a different story.

With a mix of hurt and increasing anger, he walks back to his room, trying to find any explanation, anything that would make sense other than the painful truth that she may have been spying on him at his father's behest.

But no matter how much he denies and rationalizes in his head, the image of her entering his father's office remains like a dagger to his heart. He is torn, confused, and overwhelmed by the betrayal he feels.

His confusion and hurt transform into a burning anger. Anger at Helia for having the audacity to betray him, and anger at himself for being naive enough to believe that her care for him was genuine.

Above the anger, Toji feels a deep, aching pain in his chest that threatens to consume him. He had trusted her with his secrets, his fears, and his innermost thoughts.

He had allowed himself to be vulnerable with her, to open and share what he never thought he could. And now, in an instant, it all feels like a cruel illusion shattered to pieces.

He hated himself for ever trusting her, for ever opening up to someone. He should have just kept his distant attitude and never show any kindness.

His heart clenches harder with pain, he had loved her, more than he had loved anyone. He had believed in the depth and sincerity of her love for him in return.

But of course, he thinks bitterly to himself, how could he have been so foolish? No one had ever truly cared for him or loved him, why would Helia be any different?

Everything she showed him, all the love and kindness she had displayed, was nothing more than an act. He imagines the harsh, cruel thoughts she must have harbored deep down, seeing him just like everyone else did: a burden, a failure, a waste of air.

Maybe she had hated all the moments he had loved, all their time spent together. Maybe she was disgusted when they kissed or when he held her close.

He reflects on his hopes and dreams that she would have been different from the rest. He had believed that with her, he had finally found someone to connect with, someone who would make life worth living.

His self-hatred wells up within him like a toxic, corrosive tide. He boils with anger and disappointment, loathing himself for being so naive, for daring to believe that someone could possibly care for the failure he was.

The self-hatred and insecurity feed on each other, creating a toxic mixture that threatens to swallow him whole.

God, he hated himself so much.

•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•=•

Hey guys! How are you doing?

Sorry about not posting for a while I had do much work :'(((

I just want to clarify that in this chapter Toji really wants to believe Helia at first but the reason he doesn't really is because of his insecurities.

Hope you liked this chapter!

Sarah ☆