DARLING
ijnsorry

DARLING
shit

DARLING
i'm

DARLING
sorry

DARLING
i missyiu

DARLING
i know your upsetbut
canyou pls respond

DARLING
i'll drive to urhouse
if you dont answr

MY LOVE
you're in no shape to
drive, lia.

MY LOVE

DARLING
i'm sorry

DARLING
i just want to c u

DARLING
i'll walk to u

MY LOVE
please don't

MY LOVE
you're not sober,
any thing you
say isnt genuine.

DARLING
i'm in. my eay

MY LOVE
...

MY LOVE
where are you

'DARLING' HAS SENT THEIR LOCATION!

THE NIGHT AIR was harsh against Lia's skin, her body stumbling over the rocky pavement as swayed throughout the road. Bright lights shined from behind her, her body turning as her eyes squinted at the headlights. She threw her body into the car, her attention stuck on the brunette girl as Liv started to drive through the suburban neighborhood.

"God Lia, you stink." Liv sighed, rolling the passenger window down as the blonde reeked of alcohol and weed. The brunette clearly upset with Lia's behavior.

"I'm sorry." Was all she could muster up, guilt filling the girl as she never meant for any of this to happen. She truly loved Olivia, more than anything in the world, but for some reason all she could manage to do was hurt her.

Maybe it's because she never had a healthy example of love growing up, between her parents fighting almost everyday when she was younger, or maybe it's because both her parents abandoned her when she was younger, leaving Lia with her aunt. Either way the girl knew she had issues, she knew this behavior was toxic but she couldn't help but to fear the idea of Olivia leaving her for someone else.

"I know."

The blonde's head hung, her eyes red from both tears and the substances she used. Her cheeks flushed from the alcohol intake as she cradled herself like a baby.

"I really love you Liv." Lia sniffled, her nose running slightly as her eyes began to fill with tears, "I don't know why i'm like this. I don't know why I treat you like this." The blonde continued rambling, the tears in her eyes beginning to roll down her olive complexion, Liv shushing her as she attempt to defuse the situation.

"I know Lia, It's okay. It's okay, See? I'm okay."

The words only broke Lia down more as she completely fell apart in the car, the weight on her chest was heavy enough to break her bones.

"I need to go to therapy again, don't I? I need to get help. I...I, I just need to become better for you. You deserve better." Her words were incoherent between how fast she spoke as how much she slurred her words from heartbreak, snot and tears dripping from her as Olivia pulled into a 7/11 parking lot.

The girl grabbed Lia's hand, her thumb caressing the back as she tried everything in her power to make her feel okay. To make her feel safe.

"You need to get help. Not for me but for yourself. You're so deserving of love and happiness but all you do is sabotage that. You can't treat yourself like this, Lia." Her dark brown eyes soft and sympathetic as she yearned for the day Lia could be okay again, "It's not going to be as terrible as you think. Rue, Faye, and I will all be with you every step of the way."

A sniffle came from Lia as she used her sweatshirt sleeve to dry her face, her makeup a mess from the breakdown she just had in her exes car, "Promise?"

Olivia nodded, holding out her pinky to Lia, which the blonde took in hers, "I promise."

The two girls sat on curb of 7/11, a cherry slushie in Olivia's hand an a coke slushie in Lia's. The night sky was filled with stars that danced in the sky above them, everything finally starting to fall into place.

"So you didn't even like Joshua?" Olivia laughed as she sucked on her purple straw, her body swaying into Lia's as she rested her head on her shoulder softly, "And you spent a year dating him?!"

Lia laughed as she placed her head on top of Liv's grabbing a gummy worm from their bag and placing it in her mouth, the sour taste violating her taste buds.

"It was the comphet talking! You can't blame me for it." The blonde defended jokingly, though what she said was very true. She had always struggled to come to terms with being a lesbian, always in search of the perfect man and always convincing herself she was lying to herself, "I did love him though, platonically. But I guess dating him kind of fucked everything up."

"You don't say." Olivia exclaimed sarcastically in the comfort of the blonde, silence falling between them for a moment before Olivia spoke up once more.

"I just think it's kind of funny that there were countless nights I lied awake wishing I was Josh only for it all to be a rebound."

The blonde's face softened, her heart aching as those words fell from her mouth. Her stomach twisting in a knot as she imagined the pain Liv must've felt, especially to create such a gut wrenching album like 'sour.'

"I don't know if this will help, but I always wanted it to be you." Lia sighed, her arm bringing Liv closer as they cuddled under the night sky, "Whenever I was with him you were the only thing I could think of. Every date we went on, everything night we spent together, i always wanted it with you."

Silence.

"Then why did you leave me?"

Lia's heart dropped even more, her mind incapable of thinking about a proper reason to why she did.

"I don't know." The blonde sighed as she tugged on her lip, holding Olivia even closer to her body as she feared she would lose her for good, "We both wanted different things and I guess I thought you were going to leave first."

Her throat felt tighter, choking on every word she said as if her entire childhood was flashing back in front of her, the panic she felt when her parents left her at her aunts, the nights she would sob over why she was never good enough for them. The damage her family caused her was enough to dictate the rest of her life decisions.

"I know it doesn't seem genuine, but words will never be able to describe how sorry I am. For everything." She could feel as Liv nodded into her, her breathing slow against her, "If you still want to be with me after everything I did to you, I promise i'm going to become better. I'm going to prove to you how much I truly do love you."

"I'm always going to want to be with you."

- authors note
reminder not to romanticize
this type of relationship.
lia's extremely toxic but
eventually will get the help
she needs & better herself