JEON JUNGKOOK

"You say you're not like your father, but what the hell was that?!" The words sear my tongue like venom, and I nearly flinch at the harshness of my own voice. My eyes fixate on the single tear that escapes down Taehyung's cheek, and I feel my heart splinter into irreparable shards. "Because, honestly, I don’t know who that person was."

He nods faintly, his gaze dropping to the floor as he sniffs. "Wow," he murmurs with a sad, hollow chuckle. "I suppose I deserved that."

His eyes trace the floor before lifting to meet mine, his jaw tightening with unspoken frustration. "But I will never be like my father. You’re right—I have my issues, but I am not him. I’m not abusive, not controlling, not manipulative."

I reach for my trousers on the floor, pulling on the rest of my clothes, my gaze deliberately avoiding his. His voice, raw with pain, cuts through the silence. "I didn’t mean for it to go that far. I never wanted to hurt you. I’m sorry, pups."

Tears stream down my cheeks as frustration coils within me, hot and unrelenting. "Please, just talk to me," he pleads, stepping closer.

Eventually, I look up, watching as he hesitates mere inches from me. "Do you want to know why I said what I just did?" My voice is barely above a whisper, trembling with restrained emotion.

Taehyung studies me for a moment before nodding.

"The look in your eyes when you saw what you were doing to me... how much you were enjoying it—"

"Pups," he interrupts, shaking his head violently, as though trying to dispel the weight of my words.

"Just listen to me," I snap, my voice firm, forcing him to stop.

He gives me a heartbroken look, then remains silent.

"You enjoyed it so much, Taehyung, and it frightened me. I’ve never seen you like that before. It was as though some part of you—your power, your dominance—took over completely. And that’s when I realised... that is you. That’s who you are. A dominant. And I can’t give you what you want."

His expression crumbles, confusion and anguish clouding his features. "What are you saying?" His voice cracks under the weight of the question.

"You want someone who will submit to you entirely, someone you can command without resistance. But I’m not that person, Taehyung. I can’t be that person." I raise my hand to stop him as he moves closer again.

"Pups, stop—"

"With everything I’ve endured, the things I’ve witnessed, the scars I carry—I can’t be shoved into a box like that. I can’t be controlled. I need to belong to myself. I can’t live in fear that I’ve said or done something that will lead to punishment." My voice falters, trembling under the strain of suppressed tears. I wipe my cheeks in vain, the wetness staining my skin like a confession.

"I don’t want that, Jungkook," Taehyung implores, his voice desperate and unsteady. "I promise you, I don’t. I just want you. That’s all I need."

I shake my head, the memories flooding back, relentless and suffocating. "It reminds me of the things I saw in my brother’s pack. The imbalance of power. One person wielding absolute control over the other. I know for you it’s different—it’s consensual, it’s temporary—but I can’t erase the resemblance. It terrifies me." My hands rake through my hair, clutching at the strands in an effort to ground myself.

I lift my gaze to his face, his expression hollow, his eyes dim and heavy with sorrow. And that’s when it hits me. I asked for this. I asked him to show me this side of himself, to let me into his world. I just never understood how far it could go.

Sucking in a deep breath, I bite my bottom lip before exhaling shakily. "I know I asked you to let me in, to show me, but I made a mistake. I’m sorry for confusing you." Nausea churns in my stomach, tying it into painful knots as guilt gnaws at me from within.

"I don’t need the BDSM side of things, Jungkook," Taehyung says hurriedly, his words tumbling out in a desperate rush. "I don’t need it. I just need you. You’re enough for me—more than enough."

I shake my head again, this time more slowly, my voice quiet but firm. "We’re so different, Taehyung. Can’t you see that? In what world did we think this would work?"

"Stop," he whispers, his voice breaking as his mouth trembles. "Stop saying this, pups."

"Maybe my past has shattered me so completely that I can’t even hold myself together in a relationship. Maybe that’s on me. But I know this—this isn’t healthy, Taehyung." My arms fall limply to my sides, the weight of defeat crushing me.

"I want this to work, but it’s not. I keep telling myself it’ll get easier, that things will smooth out, but they don’t. Problems just keep piling up. Relationships shouldn’t be this hard." Tilting my head back, I close my eyes tightly, but the tears continue to escape, carving silent trails down my cheeks.

"Don’t." Taehyung’s voice cracks as he chokes on his words. "Don’t leave me, pups. Please, don’t leave me."

His plea slices through me, sharp and relentless, leaving my heart bleeding and raw. His green eyes, filled with anguish, plead with me to stay.

I force myself to look away, my resolve trembling but intact. "I think we both need time, Taehyung. Time to process everything that’s happened."

His body trembles as my words sink in. I watch his hands rise to cover his face, his shoulders shaking with silent grief. Slowly, I step backwards, the weight of my decision pressing heavily on my chest until I reach the door.

A strange calmness washes over me, my emotions oscillating wildly between clarity and despair.

"I’m sorry for what I said," I whisper, my voice heavy with sincerity. "I was selfish. I just wanted you to feel something, anything. It wasn’t fair, and I regret it."

Without waiting for his response, I grip the door handle and slip out, swallowing the sob lodged in my throat. My eyes sting as I wipe at them repeatedly, but the ache in my chest doesn’t subside.

For the first time in a long while, I feel utterly lost. And I don’t know if I’ll ever find myself again.

——

My week had been a whirlwind of chaos and conflicting emotions, much of it spent helping Jimin organise the final touches for his and Yoongi’s wedding. I tried to be helpful, truly, but my mood swings were insufferable. One moment, I’d be laughing along with him, and the next, I’d find myself curled up on my bed, sobbing into my pillow like the world was ending.

The mess with Taehyung lingered like a shadow, refusing to fully register in my mind. The pain in my chest was indescribable—unlike anything I’d ever experienced before. He had honoured my request for space, keeping his distance and refraining from mindlinking me, even during training.

“Do you think we should go with an open marquee or perhaps something with one entrance?” Jimin asked, his delicate fingers scrolling absently through the laptop screen.

“Hm?” I hummed, snapping out of the spiral of my own thoughts.

“What’s going on with you, Jungkook?” Jimin said, his tone sharp as he slammed the laptop lid shut, folding his arms like a petulant child. “You’re not yourself, and frankly, I don’t like it.”

His brows furrowed in irritation, but his eyes brimmed with concern, softening the blow.

I sighed, leaning back on the stool in defeat. “It’s nothing,” I muttered.

“Nope,” Jimin countered, shaking his head emphatically. “That’s not going to fly with me. Try again.”

I bit down hard on my lip, willing it to stop trembling. I felt as if I was on the verge of tears and hated myself for it.

“It’s nothing—” my voice cracked, betraying me before I quickly recovered, “really, it’s nothing.”

“Really nothing?” he echoed, arching a perfectly shaped brow. “So it is something. You just don’t want to tell me.”

His lips formed a pout, tinged with sadness. “Has something happened between you and Taehyung?”

I held his gaze, refusing to move even an inch. His eyes searched mine intently before he nodded, his lips pressing into a thin line. “I see,” he murmured quietly.

It was futile to hold back any longer. A single tear betrayed me, sliding down my pale cheek.

“Oh, come here,” Jimin said softly, closing the distance between us and wrapping his small arms around me.

That was my undoing. The dam burst, and I collapsed into his embrace, sobbing uncontrollably.

“You know you can talk to me, right?” he murmured into my ear. My arms encircled his back, clutching him tightly as though he was the only thing tethering me to sanity.

“I know,” I choked out between ragged breaths.

We stayed like that for a while until my tears finally subsided. Jimin pulled away gently, reaching for a tissue to dab at my tear-streaked face.

“So, what’s the remedy for this talk, then? Tequila? Doughnuts? Ice cream?” he asked, offering me a small, playful smile.

I couldn’t help the faint smile that tugged at my lips. “Ice cream might have to make an appearance later,” I admitted softly.

“No tequila?” he teased, raising an eyebrow.

I nibbled on my bottom lip, shaking my head. “I can’t.”

Jimin rolled his eyes dramatically. “Oh, Jungkook, I’ve told you—no one cares that you’re not twenty-one.”

“It’s not that,” I said, my hand moving to scratch the back of my head. I met his gaze and took a deep breath. “It’s because I’ve started taking antidepressants.”

His expression softened immediately, his concern deepening. “Since when?”

“About three weeks ago,” I replied. “Taehyung convinced me to speak to a therapist he knows. They referred me to someone higher up, who prescribed them.”

Jimin’s face was unreadable for a moment as he chewed on his bottom lip, his eyes never leaving mine. “And how are they making you feel?” he asked sincerely.

I wanted to smile, to reassure him, but I couldn’t even muster the strength to pretend. I shrugged instead. “My emotions are all over the place. I hate it. I don’t even know what’s real anymore.” I sighed heavily into my hands.

Jimin placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder, his voice gentle. “I’m here for you, Jungkook. If you ever want to talk, even just to untangle the mess in your head, I’m here. I know what it’s like to let everything spiral inside you.”

“Thanks, Jimin,” I said, nodding at him, the sincerity in his voice grounding me slightly.

“So, what’s going on?” he asked, pulling his hand back to his lap.

I hesitated, my heart pounding as I finally whispered, “I don’t think Taehyung and I are going to work out.”

“Why?” he asked instantly, his face clouded with concern.

I shrugged again. “I don’t know if it’s because we’re too different or because we see life in such contrasting ways. We care for each other—deeply. More than I thought I was capable of caring for anyone. But when we fight, it just... it hurts too much.”

“What sort of differences?” Jimin pressed, leaning forward, his full attention on me.

Before I could answer, Yoongi entered the kitchen, breaking the moment.

Both our heads turned towards him as he approached the island. He leaned down, pressing a tender kiss to the top of Jimin’s head. “Hey,” he murmured softly.

Jimin looked up at him with a small smile before Yoongi’s gaze shifted to me. “Hey, Jungkook,” he greeted with a polite nod.

“Hey,” I replied quickly.

“How’s the wedding planning going?” Yoongi asked, glancing at the closed laptop.

Jimin shrugged. “Jungkook and I were discussing some other things that are a bit more pressing.”

Yoongi’s eyes flicked to my face, scanning it briefly before nodding. “Fair enough,” he said with a faint smile. “But Taehyung’s asked us all to come over as soon as we can. He said it’s urgent.”

My stomach twisted violently as my eyes widened. “Why?” Jimin asked for both of us.

“He didn’t say, but he sounded... desperate,” Yoongi replied, kissing Jimin’s head again before moving towards the fridge.

“Count me out,” I mouthed at Jimin, rolling my eyes.

Jimin frowned, tilting his head. “We have to,” he mouthed back firmly.

I chewed the inside of my cheek, attempting to calm my racing heart with deep breaths.

Yoongi returned to Jimin’s side. “We should leave soon. Don’t want to keep him waiting.”

Come on, Jungkook, Jimin’s voice rang in my mind through our pack link. It’ll be fine. If it gets too much, I’ll leave with you. Okay?

I sighed, nodding reluctantly as a fresh wave of emotions surged through me. Pushing myself up from the stool, I glanced between the two of them. “See you in a minute,” I mumbled before dragging my feet up the stairs and shutting myself in my room.