❏ chapter, forty five.
｡˚ ೃ࿔₊• ✧ *:･ﾟ •

↳ GRANDMOTHERS AND CHLAMYDIA !

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"..."

"..."

"did you guys know that lobsters are mermaids to scorpions😏☝️"

"shut up y/n."

"WHY YOU BOTTOM FEEDER BASTARDS."

yeah so here i am, being freaking ESCORTED to my special room (cage) or whatever like the pretty little princess (prisoner) i am🥰🥰

unfortunately my knights are two gay twinks with ugly character designs.

if you couldn't tell, it's wakiya and shu.

also bonus, they're having like, insane gay tension right now. they won't stop looking at each other!! or is that glaring? and look really annoyed at the other being here??

hmmm.... i wonder why🧐☝️

suddenly, wakiyas lips broke into a smug smirk, directed at shu as he swing an arm around my shoulders.

"oh what the fuck😐" i deadpanned, side eyeing his hand.

"so brat, be honest, who were you gonna pick back there to room with?" he asked, totally ignoring the fact i was gagging in pain. ALSO HE KEPT LOOKING BACK AT SHU ALL SMUG AND COCKY LIKE YOU'RE GAY WE GET IT😒😒

"the butler."

"what."

"nothing."

then shu came out of no where, looking oddly pissed off. "well she definitely wasn't going to pick you..."

"WHAT DID YOU SAY KURENAI??!" wakiya raged, glaring at his boyfriend.

shu sighed cause his life is just SO hard. "nothing,"

finally, after a freaking eternity, we arrived at the room that was literally on the other side of the mansion.

door looked normal.

area looked normal.

"what about this is special needs🤨?" i deadpanned, not waiting for anyone to answer as i walked over and opened the door, wakiya's arm sliding off my shoulder in the process. (thank god.)

when i opened the door it looked...!!

completely normal.

"again, what about this is special needs😕?"

"i said special! not special needs. you're not disabled." wakiya rolled his eyes and walked inside too, leaning on the nearest surface.

i side eyed him, "wait so why the hell did i have to come here."

"i have my reasons."

"YOU BI-"

"uh... hey wakiya?"

we all turned around at the new voice, seeing hoji standing at the door.

"GASP. HOJI!!! HI!! HOJI!! HI!! ITS ME!! Y/N!!🤩" i waved at light speed, jumping around and trying to get his attention. he smiled awkwardly and waved back. i grinned proudly at the totally equal amount of enthusiasm coming from him, and looked over to the audience. "heh, we're such a fire duo😏"

"..."

"who are you talking to..." wakiya side eyed me, as well as shu and hoji.

"the audience."

"what."

"nothing." i smiled and turned back to them.

"..."

"well anyway..." hoji trailed off, feeling mad uncomfortable with the fact i looked like a witch talking to the spirits of this crippled mansion. "everyone is settled... we should probably head out and start training."

"sounds good, thanks hoji," wakiya nodded, to witch hoji left.

"NO HOJI COME BACK😭😭 YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE I ACTUALLY LIKE IN THIS PLACE💔💔"

"..."

yeah he totally ignored me.

"we should go," shu chimed in, standing near the door. wakiya nodded in agreement and looked over at me.

"get settled. just don't take too long."

"why yes my liege😍 i would never want to keep my majesty waiting😔🤞" can you tell im being sarcastic (please say you can tell).

he glared at me, yelling something pissy before shu dragged him out and shut the door.

"..."

"can i still get into heaven if i kill myself?"

'not according to the catholics.'

"damn." i deadpanned, letting it fully sink in i'm condemned to a life of flames after this place. i then looked around the room.

spacious.

dare i even say obese.

i carried my my little pony bag over to the bed and threw it on there before noticing a red card on the table near the window. i picked it up and checked for any writing.

nope.

"meh, looks useless." i threw it behind me into the air and left the room to go find the others for training.

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"alright, what in peter's rock is that."

the minute we all stepped into the training room, filled with training equipment and workout junk, in the middle of the area was a huge stadium with sharp fang like claws on each corner.

"what do you think? pretty intense, right?" wakiya smirked like HE built it. "it's called a biting stadium. i had it brought in overseas just for this training camp."

"woah!" tokyo awed, "what's up with the fangs on the side?"

"does it growl when you touch it." honcho deadpanned, and i nudged his shoulder.

"five bucks to stick your hand in there."

"absolutely not."

"wuss."

hoji chimed in, "don't know much about it, just that those things are called biting fangs. i read up on it. but we haven't gotten. chance to battle in this stadium just yet."

"what do you say?" wakiya grinned, glancing at his boyfrie- i mean hoji. "wanna try this thing out, hoji?"

"perfect," daigo came outta NO WHERE, smirking and shii. "i'll be your first opponent. it's been a while since i've battled horusood, after all."

as i watched daigo challenge hoji, and hoji gladly except... i couldn't help but think...

"do you think daiji or hoigo would be the best couple name for them🤔?"

"no way that's the only thing you're thinking about."

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you know what? no.

NO I SAY.

YOU LITTLE READING FIENDS HAVE NO IDEA HOW HARD MY JOB IS NARRATING EVERY SINGLE FUCKING SPIN TOP BATTLE WITH THESE TWINKS.

SO TODAY, IM SKIPPING PAST THE GAY BATTLES.

DAIGO LOST.

HE FUCKING LOST AND GOT EATEN BY THE STADIUM FANGS.

"damn, weak- OW! SHU IM GONNA BITE YOUR ANKLES OFF."

"wow... did you see that?!" tooko shuddered, followed by nika. "eaten whole like a venus fly trap...!"

the shu had to come in and be all like 🤓☝️. "it snaps shut on any bey that hits it. and there's no chance to recover."

"wow thanks for the summery sherlock-😐 OW!! NOT THE FACE, NOT THE FACE!!!" i'm totally gonna but his ankles off.

meanwhile we have valt, as enthusiastic as ever. "this is so cool!! who's wants to battle me first, huh?! come on, don't be shy!!"

then honcho was all like, "hehe, i will baby girl🥶⛓️🔥 daddy's coming😏🐺‼️l

and then wakiya was all like, "tch, try to focus on lost losing so quickly this round you weak little omega🤓☝️🤬🤬‼️‼️🥶🥶"

and yes that is totally how it went.

of course that pissed off honcho, "hey!! like you're any better the the rest of us!!"

"it's so obvious i am." my question is how the hell is one blonde elementary school boy more of a diva then me. "anyway, why do you think i brought six of us here? minus hoji, of course."

"how should i know?!" honcho raged, "what, did i sign up for riddles here?!"

"with six of us, we can do a simulation team battle." shut up shu. then everyone was like "ohhhh🤓"

wakiya chimed in, "should of known you'd get it! shu gets the bonus points."

"yeah how about you kiss him for a reward😐"

"SHUT UP Y/N!!" he raged, then completely ignoring me. "do you guys even know how team battles work?"

"hey! who do you think we are?? we've already had a team battle against the sword flames!!" valt pouted, and suddenly i was struck by a shit tone of flashbacks to that dumbass dojo.

i shudder just thinking of it.

"this isn't like the one at xander's dojo. this is not kind of the court." SHUT UP SHU.

"hoji, you mind spelling it out for them?" wakiya ordered his boyfrie- i mean slave.

hoji then went on about what team battles are at the national tournament. five players, we pick three players ahead of time, we can't change it later, blah blah blah.

you watched the show don't make me spell it out.

"sounds awesome!! let's get this started!!" valt cheered, pumping a fist in the air. "okay, let's choose teams! draw straws, or rock paper scissors??"

"no need😏☝️" wakiya started, and yes those emojis were necessary. "i've already come up with groupings. you must have found a card in your room, right? the color of that card is the team you're on."

"oh cool!! i'm on red!" valt cheered, followed after shu who stated he was also on red.

"aw shit, what color was i again...." i thought deeply as it took literally everyone else two seconds to figure what teams they were on. "wait... oh yeah! it was re-"

before i could express my own thoughts, wakiya called over to me. "hey y/n! you're on team blue," he smirked and gestured me over there. "come on, we don't have all da-"

"actually wakiya, y/n is on team red.." hoji popped out of nowhere, awkwardly rubbing the back of his head as wakiya stiffened and whipped his head in his direction.

"what?! i could of sworn i put a blue card in that roo- i mean... what." he trailed off, face going red as he looked away in a flustered panic.

damn, wonder what he was trying to say🤔

"that actually makes sense," shut up shu, "there's already the people on blue teams wakiya. you, rantaro, and daigo." he then festered to him and valt. "y/n's with us."

"YEAH I CAN SEE THAT KURENAI!!"

"can i just be on my own team😕??"

"NO."

"FUCK."

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and that's how i ended up on a team with lincoln loud and sonic the hedgehog.

i mean, tell me i'm wrong.

"okay! i'm gonna start us off! i can't wait to try battling in that wicked new stadium!" valt exclaimed, clenching his fists in excitement.

"AHEM??" i cleared my throat obnoxiously loud. "don't you know it's ladies first, valt🙄?"

"you're a lady?"

"...valt i'm gonna give you three seconds to take that shit back before i give your grandmother chlamydia."

"what's 'chameleon'-"

"can you two stop?" shu sighed, so sick of this shit. "we need to figure out whose going first. y/n? you said you wanted to go?" he looked at me with slight surprise, before smiling. "that's new. i didn't think you were gonna become genuinely involved in this."

"i'm not😐"

"oh."

"i just wanted an excuse to say ladies first😕 BUT THAT TOTALLY BACKFIRED CAUSE VALT HAS THE A MOUTH THE SIZE OF AN ELEPHANT." i raged, totally dude eyeing the blue dwarf. he side eyed me back. "but i'll go anyway, cause i'm totally alpha like that😏🤞"

"..."

"yeah anyway-"

"SHUT UP VALT."

"has everybody decided on their first bladers?" hoji asked, who by the way, was playing ref.

"OH!! OH!! HOJI!! HOJI!! HI!! ITS ME!! IM GOING FIRST!!😍" i waved and jumped up and down excitedly to get his attention.

sigh, i love underrated characters 🤩

he totally ignored me though.

hoe.

"so, you and me, huh y/n?" SHUT UP WAKIYA- oh wait shit i'm battling him. i looked over to see wakiya standing on the other side of the stadium across from me.

i visibly cringed.

"H-HEY!! DONT MAKE THAT FACE AT ME!!" he raged, pointing a totally accusing finger at me.

"WELL MAYBE STOP SHOWING UP DRESSED LIKE A POKÉMON AND ILL STOP🤬🫵"

"WHY YOU LITTLE-"

"first battle!" anywho, we got into position, blah blah blah— you know the drill. "three, two, one... let it rip!"

yeah so anygay, both bets circled within the stadium, clashing occasionally. literally just think back to any battle you've ever had— this is the exact same. kinda boring honestly-

'CAN YOU PUT SOME FUCKING EFFORT INTO THIS??? IM CARRYING OUR TEAM!!'

'SHUT UP MARATION. I AM.'

so then i locked in and decided to go for a round-about approach. at least that's what i call it. it's when you repeatedly circle the middle part of the stadium, and every time you clash with the opposing bey, they edge close and closer to the ring. that's why i launched at an angle.

not only that, but it goes perfect with wakiya's stupid ass and his dumb shield crash, specifically because of this stadium...

"huh, you've put a lot of thought into your strategy here," wakiya opened his big fat mouth as if i asked, "but this is as far as you'll go! shield crash!" he exclaimed, as wyvron edged to the rim of the stadium, about to perform his gay little move, before...

CRASH

wyvron had hit the blue button between the stadium fangs, activated them, got eaten alive, and thrown up into three.

LIKE HOW DID YOU JUST FUCKING FORGET ABOUT THE ABSOLUTELY HUMUNGOUS CLAWS ALL OVER THE STADIUM?? this show has so many plot holes💔💔

"..."

"..."

"whomp who-"

"SHUT UP Y/N!!!"

"win goes to maration! with a burst finish that's two points to team red!" hoji announced.

"HUZZAH!!!" i jumped up in down, cheering. "HOJI!! HOJI!! DID YOU SEE THAT?? HOJI!! HI!! HOJI!!"

he totally ignored me.

heh... he wants to be my friend so bad😈🔥🔥🔥

"well that was a real pity wasn't it.." wakiya's butler who came outta literally no where said aloud to his gay little young master.

"w-well what do you expect?" wakiya forced a grin to hide the fact he just had the most pathetic loss known to man. "it's my first time using this stadium. there had to have been a glitch or something! that's the only possible explanation i can think of!"

"or you just suck."

"I WILL THROW YOU OFF THIS MANSION ROOF Y/N I SWEAR TO GO-"

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"good job y/n! that was amazing!!" valt cheered, as we were all deciding who our next contender should be.

i looked away into the distance, the wind blowing through my hair majestically. "heh... it's was... nothing😏"

"..."

"seriously how does your hair do tha-"

"SHUT UP SHU NO ONE ASKED YOU🤬🤬🫵"

"okay guys!" valt cut in, "they only have honcho and daigo now! who do you think they'll put out?"

shu hummed, crossing his arms. "it's hard to say."

"i'll go next!" valt exclaimed, a big confident smile on his face. "we'll save shu for last! this is gonna be so awesome!!"

not long after the next battle started, and it was valt taking on daigo.

"no pressure or anything valt, but if you lose i'm totally gonna kiss your mom the next time i see he-😈 OW! SHU WHAT THE FUCK."

"LANGUAGE."

"uh, english. or wait i guess this is an anime so japanese...🤔???"

"..."

"first battle!" hoji announced, before i heard the twins talking in the corner and i low key started eavesdropping.

"hang on a sec... so if valt wins this then does that mean shu won't have to battle?" nika asked toko, but before the little blue porcupine could reply, i teleported behind them.

"ERM, ACTUALLY🤓☝️-"

"AHH!!" they both yelped at the same time, looked back at me like i was creep. tch... like as
if🙄

"where did you even come from...?!" toko eyed me up and down.

i waved him off, "not important. as i was saying!" i chuckled mysteriously like the super duper cool and smart main character i am. "if valt wins, shu will not have to battle! team red will get three or over, so it won't matter!"

wow i'm so smart.

"aww! but shu always looks so good when he wins!" nika frowned, to which i visibly side eyed her. "but i want valt to win his match too! this is tough..."

damn. what has our world come to...😕?

"i don't know guys... valt is pretty alpha these days😄‼️ i really think he'll win-"

CLASH

"doomscizor with a burst finish! that's two points to team blue!"

"..."

toko side eyed me, "you were saying?"

"man i fucking hate this game💔"

hoji cut in to announce the next battle, "lets cut to it! the last members of each team come to the stadium! storm spyrzen, against hyper horusude!"

nika sighed wistfully, blushing with stars in her eyes as shu approached the stadium. "wow! it's been so long since i've seen shu like this!"

i then had violent flashbacks to all the times super pretty girls fawned over shu in school, tournaments, even out in public.

IT SHOULD OF BEEN ME😭😭😭😭😕😕😕😕

"TCH," i scoffed obnoxiously loud, "WHAT DOES HE HAVE THAT I DONT🙄⁉️"

"a life."

"manners."

"stable mental health."

"the ability to read the room."

"OKAY YOU KNOW WHAT YOU TWO?? FUCK YOU GUYS IM GONNA GIVE YOUR GRANDMOTHER CHLAMYDIA🥰🫵"

LIKE DAMN SINCE WHEN WERE THE TWINS SUCH HATERS💔💔💔⁉️⁉️⁉️

yeah so after that totally traumatic experience of being absolutely COOKED by two eight year olds, i will not be narrating the entire battle between honcho and shu.

let's be honest, we all know whose gonna win...
😏☝️

"HONCHO I BELIEVE IN YOU-😍🫵"

CLASH

"oh never mind he lost😞"

nika then side eyed me, grinning deviously as she put out her empty palm towards me, wiggling her fingers in a gesturing way.

i'm never betting on a twink who shoves manga up his ass ever again.

i slapped five bucks into her hand and sighed, "...i fucking hate this anime😕"

"that includes todays matches! the winner of the teams battle is team red! congratulations!" hoji announced, smiling our way.

"ALL RIGHT!!" valt, me, and the twins cheered. except for shu though cause he's just too nonchalant and gay.

"HOJI!!!" i cheered and launched myself at the dude, hugging him in a totally platonic way cause i'm not into boys like that.

JOKE. i'm not gay🙄

or am i???

HAAHAHA.

no but seriously i'm not.

(or am i.)

he startled and kinda freaked out, but just stood there like a stick man as i hung off his neck, low key choking him. maybe that's why his face was so red...🤔??

i low key could feel everyone side eyeing me, annoyance provident in their eyes. LIKE SORRY I DIDNT MEAN TO STEAL YOUR BOYFRIEND CALM DOWN😞😞😞✋

"HOJI!! HOJI!! HI!! ARE YOU IGNORING ME?? WHATS IT LIKE BEING A TOTALLY AWESOME SIDE CHARACTER??" i poked the guys head multiple times, but i'm pretty sure he was tweaking out cause he was NOT replying. "OH OH!! HOJI!! WE SHOULD