It felt like I had lost consciousness.

I knew I hadn't, but it felt like it.

I had been sitting on the floor, hugging my younger sister while I sobbed violently. Then, I found myself walking over to my dad, seeking comfort as if I was four years old again and I had just woken up from a nightmare. That was the moment I remembered that I wasn't supposed to be mature or grown-up. I was eleven years old, a child. A child that, in the course of three months, had been abused way more than most adults do in their entire lives.

As I told them each thing that had happened prior to my meltdown, I realized many things. One of those was how none of that was even tough love anymore. It was straight-up abuse and listening to my father's voice break as he told me what it meant made me feel all the more miserable.

I still had more things to tell, so I resumed everything as I hugged my dad's left arm. "I argued with Maddie after that. It was Jayden's birthday and they wanted me to play with them, but Abby wanted me to be more mature-- I thought it meant that I couldn't play anymore. That's why I threw away my toys and changed my room entirely." It sucked how I was realizing everything so late. "I stopped talking with all of the girls-- I had my first pointe solo the week after, and I said that I was excited, but I was also lying. I was really scared of getting hurt, but I wanted to make her happy--" My voice broke yet again and I felt a lump in my throat. "And she made me throw up. She said I had to suck in my stomach, and even when I did, she pushed it even more-- I decided it was better if I didn't eat at all, so I competed without eating and feeling dizzy, and I threw up again. I got almost a perfect score for that solo, but I thought I failed her again. Then Jeff forced me to say stuff I didn't want in the interviews and blamed it on the new contract-- I felt forced to sign it because all three of them were glaring at me--"

"What three?" Mom questioned and I went quiet. "You've gotta tell us, Eves--"

"But I'm gonna get in trouble--"

For the thousandth time, I started crying and the four of them looked at each other. Ava was now sitting on the floor, watching us like we were in a movie.

But I wanted to let it all out too. "Abby, Jeff, and Evelyn-- I heard that they were threatening you even before you told us-- I saw when you were talking to Evelyn outside one night, and I found out that they were threatening you with taking us away and making up stuff to get you and dad in trouble-- then, I found out about the voicemail and I listened to it--" I shot right up and my eyes widened. Standing up from the couch, I turned back to look at them. "And I never said any of those things-- you gotta believe me. I never said that they sucked or that everyone was jealous-- I swear! The only thing I said was that I missed everyone and that I was busy-- but they edited clips of me on the show and interviews to make it seem like I said those things instead--"

"That's why the audio kept running--" Giselle seemingly realized something. "-- And your voice sounded so weird, but why did it make sense at the time?"

A look of realization appeared on Zane's face, and it was the one thing I did not want to happen. "Genevieve was already gone, so there was no way she could defend herself-- if she hadn't left, she wouldn't have sent the voicemail at all. Abby always needs a "star", but she knew she wasn't going to take it serious enough if she had the other girls around, so--"

"-- She turned everyone else against you with the fake voicemail." My older sister finished. "Right after the audio finished, the first thing Abby said was "she got cocky" so that everyone agreed with her immediately. Then Christi claimed that you didn't think anyone else should get the opportunities, and she added "even her own sister"-- that's why I got mad at you." She choked up. "I let both Abby and Christi use me."

It all made sense, but I felt even worse than before.

They used all of us in this.

And I felt confused about the messages she sent me after because we hadn't talked. "You sent me some texts about it, but I thought they were for someone else-- but you could have also been mad at me because you told me that you were sending me something for my birthday, but it never arrived."

Her brown eyes widened in realization. "But I sent you something. I sent you a video--" Before I could answer, she was already typing in her phone's password and checking something.

Zane leaned to the right, trying to take a peek at whatever Giselle was doing. "It was never sent--"

"I sent it during the competition, but there wasn't any service." She looked back up at me and then back down at her phone. "Fuck."

Any other time, my parents would have scolded her, but this wasn't the time.

Turned out I wasn't the only one who had been manipulated, but the real question was, how many people had already fallen victims to their game?

I was starting to feel much more conflicted.

Look, I adore my best friend, but I do not want to hear about what she did in a ten-page spread in a London fashion magazine. If it was only us at either of our houses, hanging out anywhere, or in the dancer's den, I'd be excited, but not when Abby forces her to talk about it during the pyramid.

Of course, I still supported my best friend, but I wished that Abby would just shut up.

But she kept on talking, and an eternity later ― also known as two hours ― she still hadn't started with the pyramid, and in all honesty, I didn't even listen to what she said about each girl. I started listening again when my headshot was finally revealed.

"Evie. You were the highest-scoring soloist and also won a title." Abby explained. "You beat Maddie. You beat Ava. You beat Mackenzie. And you beat Tea'. But I still saw a few mistakes." She then revealed the "top" headshot. "Maddie. You were great in the group. Evie beat you in the solo category, but you beat Ava and the other two. You also joined me at the Tony's last Sunday--"

Maddie   Genevieve   Nia

Mackenzie   Alexis    Chloe   Kendall

If I hear the word "Tony" one more time, I'll flip out.

In my head, of course.

"This week, we are traveling to Sheer Talent in Wayne, New Jersey," Abby announced. "I have heard that Cathy will be there. I know, that Gino will be doing a solo." At that moment, everyone understood where she was coming from. "Maddie, I had planned for you to do a solo against Gino this week. The name of the routine is "Fool Me Once", and he's gonna go down in history as your first kiss. Sorry."

"That was your fault." Maddie pointed out.

"I know! That's why I said sorry!" The teacher chuckled. "Now, here's my big problem: Maddie has to fly to Miami this weekend, and now, they don't want her coming on Sunday-- to work Monday. They want her to come on Saturday." She turned over to the moms. "The competition is Saturday. So, later this evening, I should know more. If not, tomorrow, or even the next day." She then turned back to us. "Maddie, as you learn your solo, you will have two understudies, which are Kendall-- and Chloe."

Understudies-- Sadie!

I haven't talked to her in months. It'd be nice to catch up. "Annie" closed all the way back in January, so she's probably not even in New York anymore, but I should give her a talk. Or a text. Or an apology.

"I would've chosen Evie." Abby glanced at me. "But I think you should take a break."

Well, there's part number three hundred of a grown woman bullying me.

"What do you have against her?" Mom spoke up.

"I don't have anything against her." Abby looked at her. "I have something against you-- you never told me Giselle was leaving until she stopped showing up."

"Well-- that's something between the two of us and Giselle," Mom argued. "G has nothing to do with whatever Elle decided to do, and she hasn't even done anything bad."

"I mean, she was first last week." Allison agreed with my mom. "She beat Maddie, as well as the other girls, and she's still below Maddie on the pyramid just because you invited Maddie to the Tony Awards and not her."

"So, you're jealous because I invited Maddie and not you?" The teacher's gaze fell on me and I looked up at her. "That's a little weird considering how you had all of those opportunities a year ago."

"I don't think she's jealous." I heard Lexi speak up. "I think she's just tired-- and all of us are tired--"

"Tired of what?" Abby questioned aloud. "Tired of sitting on your butts and doing nothing all day. Tired of relying on Maddie to lead the group to victory--"

"We don't rely on Maddie to win." The brunette defended the group. "No offense, Mads, but we can win without you here, and no one's jealous of what you've been doing. I mean, it's great that you've gotten all these opportunities, but we're tired of getting it rubbed on our faces every day."

"You shouldn't even be jealous of her." And they were all looking at me again. "After all, your music video with Taylor Swift is coming out soon, right?"

I was sure my eyes had widened to the size of saucers.

How did she find out-- I didn't even tell her. I didn't even plan to tell her until it was out.

"So stop being jealous of Maddie. Your time is coming soon." Abby shrugged. "But you're still not going to be an understudy. Sorry, but with that attitude, the only thing you'll end up being is in the ensemble."

What attitude?

And why is it bad to be in the ensemble? They're the nicest people.

"As I was saying--" I noticed Mom rolling her eyes while Abby cleared her throat. "-- In case Maddie isn't available, either Chloe or Kendall will perform the solo against Gino."

"If Maddie were to leave--" Chloe spoke up. "-- How would you choose between Kendall and I?"

"Whoever's doing the number right." The woman pointed at each of them. "So you two--" She snapped her fingers. "-- Better be right on top of it." Both girls nodded in understanding. "The group routine. The name of the piece is "Playing with Matches". Maddie, you will have the lead in this group. If you're not there, the group dances without the lead. This group routine is important, ladies. Please do not let me down." She shook her head. "I'm still up in the air about nationals 'cause right now, the only one that's good and safe is Maddie--"

"But she didn't win last week," Mom argued. "Genevieve beat her. She was five points above her--"

"Exactly!" Abby exclaimed. "Five points!" She turned to look at the blonde. "Do you want me to have a nationals soloist who is only five points above?"

"Ava and Maddie were one point apart!" And-- she yelled. "G has beaten Maddie time and time again-- and it's the same with Chloe. They have both beaten Maddie in the past, but you just sweep it under the rug--"

"They are not dedicated enough--"

"Of course, they're not dedicated-- you don't give them the attention you give her." Mom continued to argue. "And you treat them like shit--"

"Your daughter's scared of me," Abby commented in an amusing tone as if she was bragging. "Give me five minutes--" She snapped her fingers again. "-- And she'll leave this room crying."

"That's not the flex you think it is," Holly commented.

"But it is--" She turned back to look at me. "Isn't it, Evie?"

That feeling again.

"Don't call me that," I muttered under my breath.

Somehow, she was able to understand what I said. "Okay, then I'll call you blondie from now on. I don't have any issues with that." She shrugged. "I also don't have any issues with not taking you to nationals. You're the one who's going to end up losing at the end."

I really wanted to cry right there, but I also knew I would be proving her right if I did, so I had to swallow the lump in my throat and suck it all up.

Hours later, we were still in the studio. We weren't allowed to leave until Maddie, Kendall, and Chloe were done with the solo, so we all sat around the dancer's den in complete silence. The group rehearsal had been simply yelling and comparing. At that point, we were all tired. Maddie was on a pedestal while the rest of us were supposed to bow down to her.

The feeling of crying never left, and even with the hug and comforting words from my mom, it was all the same.

I just felt so helpless.

Lexi was ― once again ― reading one of the Hunger Games books. Nia was completing some schoolwork because she hadn't been able to attend due to starting to film earlier. Kendall was texting someone on her phone. Kenzie was in a private with I-don't-remember-who, and I was staring at the floor, feeling overwhelmed by all my thoughts.

So when one of the doors opened, I was the first one to look up, noticing the familiar face of Lauren Tucker. Still, when I realized that it was, in fact, her, I felt a wave of nostalgia, just like it happened with Brian-- Brian.

I still haven't looked him up. I've been too busy lately to remember those-- whatever they were.

Turned out, we had to start rehearsing our solos for the TDA's ― also known as The Dance Awards ― that is scheduled for three weeks from now in Las Vegas. Ironically, it's the same week that we'll be competing in nationals in Los Angeles.

And what better way to realize how different two teachers can be than going from being praised by one the night prior to being yelled at by the other the following afternoon?

It hadn't even been ten minutes into the rehearsal and Abby had already yelled at someone at least three times, but when they noticed something "weird", she ordered us to stop, so we sat down on the floor, and I soon became curious of what she was looking at. I turned my head in the direction of the viewing room and noticed a whiteboard.

The board had our names-- most of us. Next to each of our names were tally marks. Chloe ― whose name was on the top ― had six marks. The next one ― myself ― had four marks. Kendall's had ten. Nia's had six. Lexi's had three, and finally, Kenzie had two.

"I don't know," Gianna answered one of Abby's many questions. "They brought it up there in the middle of rehearsal, and Maddie said, "Oh, my name's not on there"." She then stopped to think. "It's not solos."

"How many times she cried and ran out of the room and acted like an idiot?" The teacher suggested.

"Yeah." The assistant agreed.

"No, Mackenzie would be higher." Abby realized and I frowned.

"No, Mackenzie would be winning." Gianna chuckled in amusement.

"Or maybe-- the tally marks are for how many music videos they haven't starred in." Abby chuckled as she suggested. "Or-or maybe it's for how many talk shows they haven't been on--" Now, she was full-blown laughing. "Or maybe it's for how many Tony Awards they haven't attended."

We all stared at the two of them as they nearly died laughing. Slowly, we all stood up one by one as they kept making up assumptions and looked up at the viewing room ― more specifically to the moms ― but also kept an eye on the board. I noticed as Chloe mouthed "take it down" and the moms kept talking with each other while Melissa blinked continuously and shook her head left and right.

Abby decided to go find out what the board was about, and she came back arguing with herself and didn't waste any time: "They've always been jealous of Maddie-- since day one."

She then proceeded to criticize Kenzie's feet before continuing with the group routine, where she had the fabulous idea of having us light matches on the stage while performing.

By the time the rehearsal was over, there were at least ten tally marks by each of our names.

And by the end of the week, there were probably around thirty.