ch15:let it burn like a flame
song01: i'll stay, rh factor
song02: u, kendrick lamar

<alonso james>

Saturday,
June 17
8am

"𝕴'𝖑𝖑 even come in the morning to help get them up." Sade mimicked Cheyenne in a whine as she opened the door for her. "Cheyenne, what the hell?" She asked her, genuine confusion as to why two days have passed without hearing from Cheyenne.

"I'm sorry."

"You're a day late and a dollar short, literally. And the fuck you got Cecil blowing me up in the middle of the night for??"

"I don't know. Where's Rosie? Cecil's waiting for us in the car."

Sade looked at her skeptically.

"Sade, I don't have time right now."

"Dame took them to a park. Where y'all headed to?"

"To pick up Three."

"See if he can stay a little longer. If they can't keep him, i'll pick him up."

"You don't have to do that."

"Cheyenne, you always complain about not having time— you and C should take the day off. Maybe you two can finally talk or whatever."

Cheyenne looked at her sister who was once a stranger just three short years ago making her realize that if there was a relationship to be had in the ten years her and Cecil had known one another, there would be one. She nodded at Sade and turned to leave the house.

She sat on the porch and called her son to see what he was up to as Cecil watched her from the car. When he answered the video call she smiled at him, "Hey son son. You okay?"

"Yeah mom, how are you?"

"I'm okay, what y'all doing?"

"Just playing the game. What time you coming? I was gonna ask if I can stay one more day."

"Did you ask Bryce's parents?"

"Not yet."

"Go ahead and ask right quick."

"Okay, let me finish this—"

"Go now Three. Just pause."

He grumbled, and mumbled under his breath, still not moving.

"Or you can bring your ass home Three." she fussed impatiently.

"I'm going right now. Don't you see me pausing the game?"

She didn't respond, she waited to hear the conversation but he left the phone in Bryce's room instead of taking it with him. She huffed, waiting for him to return. She received a text from Bryce's mom asking if it's okay with her and she responded that it was.

"She said yes mom." He came back moments later.

"Okay, call me later. And text me or dad if you need anything."

"Okay, bye. Love you."

"Love you too. Be safe." She said in the midst of her son already hanging up on her. She looked across the yard at Cecil through the window.

She got a text from Sade who she didn't know was watching her still saying,

Sade
Don't hold back girl
Sade
You got it

She looked back at the camera on the front of the house and sighed,

Cheyenne
🤢

Sade
💕

Sade
Three good?

Cheyenne
Yeah, he staying another day

Sade liked 'Yeah, he staying another day'

"Chey, you good?" She heard, breaking her out of her thoughts as she noticed Cecil's window was now down and he was looking at her.

She nodded and stood, making her way to the car. "Can I drive?" She asked, leaning on the open window of the driver side. "I wanna show you something."

Lying on the window's edge of Jaleel's sedan, was a solemn brother, recently released from police custody. "You ever feel like you fucked up for no real good enough reason?" Lonnie asked his brother, Jah, on the ride home from the precinct. "Like, it's some real bullshit and you just gotta take it. Cause you fucked up."

Jah nodded his head.

"But, do you really know what I mean for real?"

"All the time, Black. Real shit."

"You couldn't."

"Like, two times, I put you in a bad way. I think about it all the time. I don't think it was worth it in the end." Jah admitted.

"You sorry about it?" Lonnie asked.

"Yeah. You?"

"I haven't decided yet." He answered honestly. "But i'm learning to shut the fuck up for real."

Jah hummed, not realizing he was the only person to tell Lonnie to do exactly that.

"Thank you for having my back, Jah."

"Don't start with that gratitude shit— we ain't done yet."

"I mean the whole time. From the first time I came to y'all's house. Even when your dad kicked me out."

"Our dad, nigga."

"Yeah, whatever."

"Real talk," Jah told him, "you gotta let that shit go. Family is forever."

Lonnie stayed quiet— having not believed that statement for years now. Family was becoming a foreign idea to the nearly thirty year old. He chewed his lip, watching the street lights flash by them in a speed much over the limit. He sighed at his own thoughts.

"Family is everything." Jah mumbled to himself under his breath as if it were mockery.  "What did they want?" He asked.

"Still talking about Kwabena like i'd hurt him; ever."

"You sure you didn't?"

Lonnie grit his back teeth, resenting having even been asked if he'd killed Cobe.

"You know sometimes you don't remember doing shit."

"If I remember hitting Mo, why wouldn't I remember that?"

"I don't know. Maybe the relationship with him meant more to you than the one you had with Kwabena."

"Stop tryna plant shit in my head."

"Just being realistic. Think about it. You never had a reaction like that. I mean, not in a long time. And it's because you had feelings for him. Maybe you didn't actually give a fuck about Cobe. For one, I never knew you even was with that nigga yet I knew you had a thing with Mo."

Lonnie ignored him, though taking it in. Quietly, he let the moment go silent until he thought of something else to say. "You know why they brought me in though right?" He looked over at his big brother. "They wasn't thinking about my ass. How the fuck they even know I'm in town?"

"Exactly."

"I'm gonna handle it." Lonnie told him, "But don't forget that this shit is your fucking fault."

"I know." He agreed surely, fully aware of his mistake of letting Sean J know Lonnie was in town.

"That shit was stupid as fuck!"

"Black, I got it damn. I said you're right."

"But it's a lot of shit you wasn't right about and I ain't say shit to you." He argued.

Jah sighed and turned on the radio.

"Rude as fuck." He complained. "Always think you right and shit."

His phone began to ring, looking down he saw it was his Uncle Cliff. He sighed and ignored it. Then his phone dinged again.

Uncle Cliff
You only been here 12 days nephew
Uncle Cliff
Tf did you do?

Uncle Cliff
How did you get arrested?

Lonnie rolled his eyes and stared out the window.

Uncle Cliff
You grown nephew, but my advice is that you should not stay in Detroit
Uncle Cliff
I hope you planning to come back with me
Uncle Cliff
Its up to you, but take my advice
Uncle Cliff
Come see me when you get a chance nephew

"Who blowing you up like that?"

Lonnie shrugged.

"You good?"

He shrugged.

It was late; nearing nine in the evening. The two men were still nearly fourty-five minutes from their destination. Lonnie was in his head more than usual as he watched his surroundings come and go quickly as they drove down the road.

Having lost nearly thirty hours of his life, sitting in a room at a table with only water and his thoughts when he wasn't being questioned and harassed— Lonnie couldn't believe how many times he'd been betrayed and overturned in his lifetime. He thought to himself, as he stared out the window, that those were only the times that he could remember. Beginning to place the idea that maybe his trauma really did play a big part in his inability to keep people in his life who he could truly trust. He'd always thought Jah was one of the few who'd always be trustworthy and have his back until today.

"I know that you think i'm crazy Jah." He said in a voice only loud enough to barely hear over the music knowing Jah would turn it down— which he did. "I know I did a lot of shit that I don't know about and will never remember. But, my mind been clear for a while now. My head is clear. And I know it ain't no way I killed Cobe. He was my friend."

Jah didn't respond, he just looked over at him which triggered Lonnie.

"I don't know what happened between us that caused you to turn on me." He started, acknowledging that even though Jah has had his back, he also hasn't. "But know that I see that shit. I know who my family is and who ain't my family."

"Nah Black."

"Now everybody know I got my own crib. I'm gone stay there until I figure out what I wanna do next."

"I never turned on you. I don't even know where you got that shit from."

"You nigga. Ain't nobody gotta tell me shit."

"I'm the one who always show up for you."

"I don't give a fuck. Didn't I already acknowledge that shit? That don't mean nothing if you just frontin' Jah. You can't keep acting like showing your face is the same thing as really giving a fuck."

"Oh my God." Jah complained. "You got the least shit to complain about Black. Who you think got my back? I'm the oldest. I take care of every fucking body and don't expect shit back. I'm there for y'all. I got everything y'all need. I'm everywhere all at once and that shit still not enough. It ain't enough for you— it ain't enough for Maki— it ain't enough for daddy. I don't got no fucking life outside of y'all. Like what else do you fucking need nigga?"

"I needed you to not make shit worse while I was gone Jah. Damn."

"What the fuck do you mean?"

"Why the hell you tell Cole I was dead?"

"You should really be asking yourself how that dumbass nigga believed that shit." Jah chuckled to himself, a little irritated. "You need to get over that shit and get focused."

"WHY THE FUCK DID YOU TELL HIM I WAS DEAD?"

"Dame came up with that! Not me!"

"Fucking liar nigga."  Lonnie mumbled.

"I swear. He called me and we talked for like an hour while he was at the airport on the way to their birthday trip right after you left."

"So it was his idea."

Jah was quiet.

"Why'd you go along with it?"

"Because he was right— y'all not good for each other. He had you thinking you was better off without me and daddy and the crew."

"He was right though. I'm not even in the family no more."

"Shut up with all'at for real Black. It's overdone. You still got us and we still got you. Period. And you needed to be able to leave without any baggage and no reason to come back."

"Well y'all stupid ass plan worked." Lonnie mumbled. "Congratulations."

Jah huffed, pulling into the driveway at his small house. "Makaveli said he's bringing your car by so you can leave or whatever when he get back. I'm going to bed."

They went into the house quietly and parted ways for the night. Opening the door to the bedroom closest to the front of the house, Lonnie found a box on the foot of the bed with an envelope on top. There were a couple of shopping bags on the bed too, but the white folded paper had his name on it.

'Lonnie,' he read in his head. 'You don't know this— but you broke my heart. It isn't right for me to hold against you something you don't remember doing. It's not right what you did either, son. You're still my son. And even if you weren't my son, we're still family. Family is forever. I can't give back the the time I took from us by being mad, but I can make time for our future. Please allow us to talk soon. Let's get some understanding.

Side note:
I couldn't take my boys shopping and not get you anything. I love you son.

Your dad'

He held the paper in his hand, reading it twice. He balled the letter up and threw it across the room before walking back to the door and slamming it closed.

"Yo! Stop slamming my shit!" He heard Jah yell from his room the back of the house.

Lonnie ignored him and started taking his clothes off, throwing them into a pile on the floor by the closet door. Only in his underwear, he left the room and walked across the hall to take a shower, slamming the bathroom door behind himself.

"Can you stay for a minute?" He heard Kwabena's voice in his ear. Lonnie closed his eyes at the memory, "Please." He squeezed his forehead trying to remember what came next as an emotion flushed over him similar to the one he feels when he thinks of Sean J. A bloody heat warming his ears, he couldn't figure out why he was feeling this way.

"He played you." He heard another voice in his head.

Staring at the blank white tiled wall in the shower, stuck as the moment played over a few times. It was when he had his gun tucked into Mohammed's back; the raspy voice sang, "If you would've told him about us it would've caused more harm than good." Over and over the words played. A smile washed across his mug.

"How did you know I was going to tell him?" He asked out loud. "How did you know what we talked about?"

"He deserved it." The voice came back.

"Are you sure you didn't do it?" He heard Jah's voice. "Family is everything. Family is forever." He saw Jah's eyes, cold and serious, "I'd do anything for you." His brother promised, "I'll do anything."

A tugging at his throat forced out a laugh that echoed all through the house.

"You did that? For me?" He asked the wall with a smile on his face. "You shouldn't have." He slashed the soaked rag onto his chest as he began to wash unconsciously.

"Did you and Mo have something going on?" Cobe asked him, appearing right before him in the shower. He took the rag from Lonnie's hands and began to drag it across his chest, looking into his eyes.

"Wired. He got a wire." Someone whispered in his both of his ears at once. "He's listening."

"Shut up!" Lonnie yelled, his voice traveling through the house, notifying Jah who sat upright in his bed with a sigh.

"It's your fault."

"Shut up!" Lonnie yelled.

"You killed him!"

"Shut up!" He yelled again.

"Can you stay for a minute?" Cobe asked, holding contact making it tough to refuse. "Please?" He added in a softer tone just before he looked away. He reached out and took Lonnie's hand into his, holding it for a moment before guiding it to his waist, himself coming closer until their bodies pressed against each other's. Lonnie kissed his forehead and Cobe looked up at him. "I trust you Lonnie." He cooed, "You trust me?"

Lonnie opened Jah's door without a warning. He stood in the middle of the room in just his towel, waiting to be acknowledged.

"What?" Jah asked, monotone.

"Do you really think that Cobe set me up?"

Jah huffed, "Which time?"

With a grimace, Lonnie scoffed. "What do you mean?"

"At his apartment or at his pops crib?"

He sniffed, walking closer to Jah. For the first time ever, he put the two situations together and saw their similarities. "I can't imagine him doing that." He tried convincing himself that Cobe could not betray him— especially not twice. "He wouldn't do that shit to me."

"Look at how crazy you niggas go when you like somebody." Jah mocked Lonnie, "Of course he'd do that shit to you. The nigga was weak and indecisive. Just like you are when you're around that doo wop pop motherfucker. Brainless as shit."

Lonnie smirked, unamused, "I'm done talking to you." He turned to leave the room.

"You aight though?" Jah asked before the six foot amber man left his bedroom. "You seem off."

"Just working shit out." He explained, not turning around.

"Wait, come here. For real," he stood coming towards Lonnie. "I didn't have your back in the Cole situation." He shrugged, "I can admit that. But I took care of everything else."

"So you saying that make up for you going along with a dumbass plan to ruin my relationship?"

"No. I'm saying it ain't nothing to work out. It's finished. I got it."

Lonnie scratched his head.

"Don't let it bug you. Go to sleep." He left Lonnie in the hall and closed the door. He opened the door again, "And about Cole—"

"Don't let it bug you. Go to sleep." Lonnie gave him the words back.

But neither brother went to sleep. Both thinking of the coming days, concocting plans and going over memories, making sure everything that made sense, made sense. Lonnie wanting to cover himself. Jaleel wanting to cover his brother and spare the remainder of their relationship. The conundrum pestering the both of them.

About an hour or two later, after Lonnie had finally closed his eyes, the front door was opened by the twenty-five year old Makaveli who was on the phone.

"How many times I gotta tell you to get off my motherfucking line?" Makaveli whispered to his phone as both his brothers remained asleep in the back of the house. "Nah, I ain't say that." He smirked. "Just once." He gave in, "But, I can't even lie, Good. I'm a li'l scared. And you know a nigga like me ain't scared of shit."

"Because you know how I get."

"Maybe I shouldn't even risk it." He said, disappointment seeping into his words. "I don't wanna fuck nothing up. I want to stay on my family's good side."

"Where?"

"Ion know nigga I—" he was cut off , "well zamn." He shifted on the couch, "Okay. Don't play me dad— nigga." He laughed, "No I wasn't. Shut up!"

"Aye, who the fuck is up right now?" He heard Jah yell from the back of the house. "Go outside with allat!" He complained.

"Fuck." He whispered. "I woke Jah up. I see you in a minute."

Makaveli drove past a building usually overlooked but a frequently visited location by the likes of small time underground artists like Quincy St.James. There now, was him and his friends who were going to be surprised momentarily.

Just a few hours before, Cheyenne and Cecil had gotten home from spending the day together. They'd gone to Hudson Cafe for breakfast and followed up by driving to Bloomfield to visit the Cranbrook botanical gardens where they walked and sight-saw, chatting for hours. Many things they usually would shy away from came easily from their mouthpieces, gathering understanding for one another.

"So you remember Q, right?" Cheyenne asked, rubbing Cecil's arm, looking up at him. After a full day and a half of seemingly newness, she felt he'd be open to something else. "Well, he's an artist. He's in this group, a collective — they get together like three times a week."

"I don't think I know a Q."

"Quincy."

"That don't even sound familiar."

"He's the other person in the car when Cobe was killed, Cecil."

"Ohhhhh, right. Your side piece." He said, "That's who you be out all night with."

She just stared at him, feeling as if the entire day was a loss and for nothing.

"Right?" He asked,

She turned around, putting on the finishing touches to her outfit for the evening she'd planned for the two of them.

"Chey." He tried, but she had gone mute— completely ignoring him. Within three minutes, she was out the door. The only words she had for