ch.12: if i fall down tomorrow
song01: open this wall, berlioz
song02: get free, lana del rey

<cecil jr.>

𝕮𝖊𝖈𝖎𝖑 unlocked the doors of his home at 2am after parking his car behind his wife's, expecting for her to be home, asleep with their children. With a wide smile and a tiffany's box in hand, he walked into their bedroom only to turn the light on and see an empty bed.

He pulled out his mobile phone and texted Cheyenne. The thirty two year old congressman freed his hands of the gift and his phone and removed his jacket and shoes heading to the bathroom.

Standing over the toilet in the champagne gold colored master bathroom, he waited to hear his phone ding with a response but nothing came.

After flushing, he washed his hands and dried them. He undid the cufflinks and buttons from his buttondown's sleeves. He loosened his tie until it slipped down his chest. He caught it before it fell and folded it neatly, laying it on the counter. He unbuttoned his blouse and slid it down his arms laying it on top of the tie.

Now, in just socks and slacks, he slipped his feet into the slides the hid behind the bedroom door and left the master bedroom to investigate the state of his home.

Finding no one there, he called Dame—"She must be with Sadé." He concluded aloud.

Dame, however, did not answer.

He called Sadé next who also didn't answer.

He texted his son, "3 where y'all at?"

Knowing Little Cecil to be a night owl, he expected him to answer promptly even at the lateness of the hour.

Cecil to Three

Three
I'm at Bryce house.
Three
Mom let me spend the night.
Three

Cecil
So where ya mom?

Three
At home.
Three
She probably sleep

Cecil
Alright. Goodnight son

Three
Night dad

Cecil huffed, walking into the kitchen. He opened the fridge and found something to drink and some fruit. The dial tone echoed through the empty room as he called Chey.

"Hey baby." He mumbled into the phone as the voicemail had instructed him to. "I'm home. I wanted to surprise you but you're the one who has surprised me." He inhaled, chuckling lightly. "I don't know where you are but just call me back. Or text me. Anyway, I'm here." He stared at the phone a few moments before ending the voicemail.

Leaning on the island in the kitchen, he picked at his bowl of fruit, staring at his phone. Suddenly it lit up with a call, but not from his wife. It was his brother, Cole.

"What up Cole?" He answered dryly.

"The fuck?" Cole asked, offended by his lack of enthusiasm. "I— got a notification from the location shit that you landed at DTW. What the hell you doing here?"

"I was tryna be romantic." He rolled his eyes. "You seen Chey?" He asked him, disappointment bleeding through his tone.

Cole was quiet.

"Cole?"

"Hm?"

"You ain't seen Cheyenne?"

"No. You know I been to myself. She wasn't at the cookout."

"I know, Three had a game that day."

"Oh. Well, yeah that was the only time I wouldve seen her so I don't know what to tell you. Maybe she out cheating." Cole laughed. "I'm literally just playing." He added when Cecil didn't respond. "Call Sadé."

"She didn't answer."

Cole scratched his head.

"Give her some time bro. She might just be out with some mom friends at a bar or something. Chill. Go lay down. Turn on the TV."

"Aight— I'll see you later."

"Night."

He called Chey again, but as soon as the phone rang, the front door opened. He stood and walked into the front room, "Cheyenne."

"Oh, what are you doing here?" She smiled, walking up to him with her arms out. He looked at the clothes she had on. A hoodie and leggings with crocs.

"You sleeping at this niggas house now?" He asked with a scowl.

"Excuse me?"

He wiped his face, "Nevermind. I brought you something."

"Am I just supposed to pretend you didn't just ask me that weird shit?" She mumbled, following him to their room. "If I was to cheat on you, it wouldn't matter anyway. It's not like this is a real marriage."

"What do you mean by that?"

"It doesn't matter." She huffed.

Cheyenne held her hand out for the blue box in Cecil's hand. He stared at her instead. He scratched his forehead lightly.

She raised her eyebrows, waiting for words or the gift and neither was given. She sighed and got up from the bed walking towards the open bathroom door. "You about to shower?" He asked her. She nodded. He nodded, "At two am." as if he was putting the pieces of a puzzle together successfully.

"Whatever you're doing in your head, stop it." She told him, seeing the wheels turning. "Nothing is going on."

"I don't know how many times we're going to have this conversation Chey. But, it hurts me every time."

"Then lets stop bringing it up."

"I don't want us to stop bringing it up. I want us to talk about it. Can we?"

"I'm really tired."

"You weren't too tired for who ever you were just out with."

"Why do you think I came home then?"

"Because I caught you."

"Because i'm fucking tired Cecil! I never get to sleep. I am just tired."

"Why aren't you sleeping?"

"You wouldn't want to talk about it if I told you anyway so I prefer not to bring it up."

"Why would you think that?"

"Because you said it! You said that you were tired of me acting like i'm the first person to ever see someone die. So you know what? Now, I only talk to other people who been through the same shit. Is that okay?"

"No it's not okay baby. I'm your husband, you can talk to me."

"I tried."

He looked at her sorrowfully.

"I'm sorry."

"I know you only married me because of the kids and your Trust and their Trusts. I'm okay with that. But stop sucking me in making me think you care about me knowing you are never going to try to get to know me. Just let me enjoy my life."

"Chey."

"What's in the box?"

"Open it." He handed her the box he still held in his hands.

In Cole's hand was the cold metal door handle, wondering if he would even be welcomed into the home. He let it go. Put his hands in his pockets, standing there staring at the door. "Just do it!" He yelled at himself internally. Not being able to bring himself to lift his hand again, he used his foot to kick the door. Doing it only three times, hoping Lonnie wouldn't hear it anyway. And he didn't. But, Cole didn't expect anyone else to be there.

The door opened revealing a light skinned young man with loose curly hair and big brown eyes. Hair lined his upper lip and dusted his chin. He looked at the man. "Cole, right?"

Cole nodded. "Makaveli." He put his hand out to shake and Cole shook it with his. "What you doing here so late? I mean, you can come in but Black sleep."

"Oh, can you wake him up?" Cole asked, stepping into the Taylor, Michigan home. Maki shook his head, "That's something I cannot do king. I promised I wouldn't. But you didnt, so go ahead."

"What? He had a long day or something?"

Maki nodded, "Nigga had a long life." He chuckled, "Nah, he just been in a weird mood since he came over here." He shrugged.

Cole nodded. "How are you?"

"I'm cool. You?"

"I'm aight."

They both nodded, looking at one another.

Maki pointed his hand to the kitchen, "You thirsty?" He asked, walking that way. Cole followed him into the kitchen. "I went shopping today." He said proudly, "I got some cranberry juice, apple juice, lemonade, water, pop— a few kinds. I got mountain dew, verniers, orange."

He looked at Cole after analyzing the fridge, "We got a lot of snacks too. If you're hungry. I mean, I know it's like the middle of the night."

"Um, sure? Let me grab a cup."

"Nah, I gotchu. What you want?"

"Lemonade?"

Maki nodded and opened the cabinet to grab a clean glass and rinsed it out before pouring the pink lemonade into it and passing it to Cole.

"You always be up late?" He asked Cole.

"Mostly."

"Me too. I can barely sleep since I got out."

"Gotta figure that out bro." He told him, taking a sip from his glass, "i'mma go peek in the room real quick." He mumbled before walking away from the twenty five year old.

He stood in the doorway watching Lonnie lay. Moving closer, he whispered his name. "Lonnie." which didn't budge him at all. He moved the blanket away from his face and sat beside him on the bed barely moving the mattress. He sat up against the headboard, staring at the wall.

"I don't got a lot of time." He said aloud, deciding to wake him. He touched his arm and nothing happened. Then he touched his face and nothing happened. "Yo, wake the fuck up." He said just below a holler.

"Maki I fucking swear." He mumbled.

"It's Cole."

Lonnie opened his eyes and panned up to the body sitting beside him. He wiped his face with the palm of his hand and stared at him. There was a silence that opened air in the already quiet room.

"I'm sorry." Cole mumbled, looking into Lonnies eyes where he could see something similar to years ago when his friend was mentally derailed— the expression changed from apologetic to worrisome which cause Lonnie to move his gaze from Cole's.

Lonnie pulled his blanket away from his body, holding it up and Cole, without a second thought, scooted underneath it. Turning on his side away from Cole, the younger man fit his body up against Lonnie's, fitting his chin into his neck and his arm over his waist.

The two laid in the King sized bed, nestled together comfortably until thoughts began to overtake— both not being able to get past the last couple of weeks' conversations or lack thereof.

"I'm leaving for New York in a few hours." Cole cut the quiet, even though just a small bit. The room fell even quieter if possible.

"Are you still mad at me?" Lonnie asked.

"Are you still mad at me?" Cole retorted.

Then quiet again, an unspoken forgiveness was between them now. This opened room for more and Lonnie took it. He started, "I don't regret going down south. I just wish I knew what niggas was doing back here— fucking with your head. Trust me, I don't fuck with them."

"I know." Cole mumbled.

"I'm sorry."

"You think we can be how we were before anybody knew about us?"

"Somebody always knew. That wasn't the problem."

"Maybe on your side it wasn't a problem."

Lonnie huffed.

"You alright? Something happened?" Shifting the conversation to what he'd seen in his friend's eyes before— what he's feeling on his body now.

"Nah, I'm alright." He said, though his mind had become plagued by Sean J's words since the moment he opened his eyes. Cole catching him on it wasn't a surprise— it was why he was turned away from him in the first place to avoid his eyes.

"You tense."

"I'm not." He lied, tensing up even more.

Cole hummed, touching the back of Lonnie's ear with his lips.

"What's in New York?" Lonnie tried to shift the conversation this time.

"It's a secret."

He turned and side eyed Cole.

"Unless you wanna tell me what's wrong?"

"Touché." Lonnie huffed.

"But for real."

"We not there yet."

"Who fault is that? I been tryna get back there."

"Do it matter whose fault it is? It's just how it is."

"But it's not how it is for me. I still feel the same way aboutchu."

"But, you said you didn't."

"I lied."

"How I know you not lying right now?"

"Turn around." Cole told him.

Lonnie flipped his body, facing Cole looking into his eyes. "I still feel the same way I did the when you told me goodbye."

"I'm not the same." Lonnie mumbled. "And even if I was the same. You know how fucked up I am."

"I do. Real fucked up." Cole told him. "But everybody been saying that about me too— for forever. So that don't bother me. You know it never did."

"Cole, I should have never got you mixed up with me. And now that I have the chance, a second chance— we both know what happens to people too close to me. I'm going to have to let you go."

"Then why did you let me in?"

"I needed to make sure we split for real for real on good terms."

Cole stared at him.

"I love you." Lonnie told him, "So, I can't keep—"

"No." Cole shook his head.

"Cole."

He sat up, "I have to get to the airport." Cole rejected Lonnie's words, "You're the one who been all in my face. This ain't fair. You the one made me change my mind about if we could still do this shit."

"And then I had time to myself to think about what I was doing."

"Well you should've thought about that before."

"I know I was just so caug—" Lonnie stopped as Cole's attention was on his phone and not listening anymore. "Have a safe trip." He mumbled and Cole smacked his teeth and left his room, walking down the hall and he heard the door close. Makaveli came into Lonnie's room.

"Yo, everything alright?"

"Yeah." He lied.

"So Cole is the guy you was telling me about while I was locked up? I can't believe I didn't guess it before."

"Yeah, that's him."

"Y'all good?"

"No, but that's how it gotta be right now. You didn't tell nobody about this house right?"

Maki held his breath.

"What?"

"Mom." He twisted his face.

Lonnie shook his head, "she already knew. It's cool."

Maki let out the breath he was holding. "You need anything?" He asked. Lonnie told him no. "Can I sleep in here?" He followed up earning a sigh from Lonnie which he took as a yes. He ran around to the other side of the king bed. "Wait, he paused. Y'all wasn't doing nothing in here right?"

"Lay the fuck down bro." Lonnie huffed, tucking his face into the blanket as it was before Cole came in.

"I was just making sure." The younger brother mumbled as he got comfortable under the large fluffy comforter.

The next morning, across town around 10:00, according to the clock hanging on the brick wall in the garage at the George's family Birmingham home, stood two six feet men, Maverik and his son, Maurice, in heated conversation regarding the incident affecting the youngest of the George men, Khalil and Kwame.

"This is why you shouldn't have let them go to public school." Maurice commented, "Then, they wouldn't have friends who live in the hood. They wouldn't be getting followed around by gangsters. And they wouldn't be targeted by niggas who hate our family. You knew. That's the reason you moved away and your careless ass moved us right back to the same city you were running away from."

"Running?" He was tickled at the accusation, "You think that's the problem?"

"No, i think you're the problem!"

Maverik smiled, amused, "So, you're grown now."

"My brothers don't know what kind of a shitty ass man you are. But they'll find out. You blaming Lonnie and uncle Mac for this is so much like you. It just can't ever be your fault. But i know you better than anybody— at the root everything bad that's ever happened to us, theres you with the same goofy ass smile you got on your face right now."

"Maurice!" Holly came out into the garage where they were talking.

"Everything bad? You mean having a child at 16 years old?! That wasn't me!" He laughed.

"Maverik!"

"Fuck you!"

"Maurice DeMarcus George that is your father!" She pointed from him to Maverik. "I understand that you are angry. But if you don't have nothing nice to say..."

"I've never had a father! That's just some nigga who nutted in y-" he was cut off my a stinging sensation that shut his eyes. He opened them to see his mother staring right into them.

"Don't you ever in your life fix your mouth to say some disrespectful ass shit like that to me. This is your father. And like it or not, he will always be your father. So, you take your ugly nasty attitude and disgusting rhetoric and get out of my house!"

"Son, you don't have to respect me. But, you will not use that sort of language towards your mother.

He raised his balled up fist with the middle finger sticking out to his father and said, "Fuck you." He turned away from him, "You not seeing Imani no more you punk ass piece of shit!" He said, wiping his face and stuffing his balled fists into the pockets of his jeans. "I don't get how you can defend him all the time! He does nothing but tear his own family apart. What kind of man is that?" He asked his mother, stopping at the door, facing her. "He's dead to me."

He walked through the door leading from the garage to the kitchen and went out the back door to sit on the porch. He watched his brothers playing with his daughter in the grass. He'd heard from Khalil that him and Kwame weren't going to school today and came over just to check on them. When he got to his parents' house, he was talking to Khalil who told him everything and it made him livid. The only person he felt was responsible was his father for moving them so close to Detroit.

Imani ran up to him, pulling his arm. "Come on daddy!" She tried yanking him up, "Come play with us." She demanded. He got up reluctantly, walking over to the twins. He dapped them up.

"What did you say to him?" Khalil asked, noticing the stressed look on Maurice's face. "Reese, you weren't supposed to say anything."

"I just don't agree with his choices. Y'all should be in prep school or an academy like I was. Not out here getting first hand experience of gang violence."

"It was one time." Kwame joined in. "It's not like we got hurt."

"This time you weren't hurt. What if Little didn't know what to say?"

Kwame rolled his eyes, "Why are you acting like he's a hero? He ain't do anything special."

"You're right. It wasn't special. It was stupid. Y'all should've just kept walking and not said anything."

"So, now it's our fault that some gangsters pulled up on us."

"I didn't say that. You were raised suburban and dumped into city life without any warning. Of course something like this would happen."

"Can we get some ice cream?" Imani begged, tugging on Reece's pants. "You promised!" He raised the three year old from the ground, holding her in his arm.

"I'm about to get out'a here. See y'all later."

"You coming to my game tonight?" Kalil asked, picking up the toys from the grass.

"Uh, yeah." Reece said nonchalantly, "Just text me where it is and what time. I'll bring Dame and iLeah too."

"Bet." Kalil dapped him and Kwame gave him a hug.

The ride to dairy queen from Maverik's house wasn't long; maybe five minutes up the road. Imani was quiet the whole ride which isn't strange for her. She's always been a quiet little girl— even when playing.

"What kind of ice cream you want, Mani?"

She shrugged, looking up at the menu with her nails stuck between her teeth.

"Do you want to try something new? Or do you still like the vanilla with sprinkles?"

She raised her hands up and Maurice picked her up. She whispered into his ear, "I want to try the cookies