ch11: but i cant help it
song01: colors, alex isley x jack dine

<cheyenne adebanjo>

Thursday
June 15
2PM

"𝕸𝖔𝖒𝖒𝖞!" Cheyenne heard faintly. It was two in the afternoon. She had put her two year old daughter down at noon and laid down for her own nap.

Tossing and turning on a sweat covered pillow, Cheyenne battled the memories of the first time she'd watched someone die. "Thank you." She saw Cobe's lips move for the last time before blood splattered across the vehicle freckling her face red. All she could do was scream. No words worked. No parts of her body could move. Her eyes stuck on the sight of Cobe laying there in Q's arms and she's never been able to shake the picture from her mind since. Nightmares plagued her nights and disturbed her mind almost daily.

"Momma!" Rosie screamed at the top of her lungs, pulling on Cheyenne's arm. "Maaaaaaa!" She continued the ear splitting sound until her mother was shaken from her slumber.

"What?" She groaned, wiping her forehead as she rose from her pillow, sitting up against the headboard.

"I peed in the bed." She said calmly, a 180 from the spectacle she was seconds ago. Chey looked down then realizing Rosie had already removed her wet clothes and wrapped herself in a towel. She shook her head at the child.

"Okay baby, go start the bath so you can wash up. We have..." she paused to look for her phone m, checking the time, "two hours before Little gets out of school. I need to stop by the store to pick up daddy's prescription, the photos, and a birthday gift..." she started listing off things on her to-do list while digging through the dryer for an outfit to put on Rosie after her bath and play clothes for Little to wear to baseball practice. Dropping the clothes on her bed and fast-walking to the bathroom to help Rosie, she heard a knock at the front door causing her to groan.

"Sorry, I forgot to wake up when I had to pee." Rosie looked down at the water feeling bad assuming the groan was towards her.

"Girl, I am not mad at you. It was an accident. Accidents happen." Chey told her, cocking her head to the side as if someone had told her a joke. She held up the container filled with colorful bath bombs specifically for Rosie and smiled, "Now, pink or yellow?"

"Wrong!" Rosie laughed, "I want Orange." She giggled, putting her hand into the container and throwing the bath bomb into the still filling water. Chey knew watching the water change color would capture her two year old's attention long enough for her to answer the door.

"Girl." Sadé starred at her as soon as the door opened. "Let me tell you what happened."

Chey walked back to the bathroom with Sadé in tow. "Hey girl."

"Bitch, why Damon brother got them kids mixed up in that gang shit. I know Little aint tell you cuz that boy think he know something, but I'm gone tell you."

She stopped dead in her tracks. "Little who? My son, Little? Cecil the third?"

"Yes ma'am. And the twins. I just heard about it this morning from Holly." She sat on the toilet seat while Cheyenne sat on a stool by the tub, starting to wash Rosie. "So you know how he go with them after school sometimes and you let him spend the night with them and everything?" They both nodded. "Well, apparently, the twins have a friend that lives in a neighborhood where the gang that is opp to Lonnie and them."

Chey listened intently without word.

"I guess they go over there sometimes after school. So they were over there and somehow them people know who they belong to."

"Who they belong to? Bitch they kids. They don't belong to nothing. And as young as they are, they belong they asses at home."

"You ain't lying." She agreed with her last comment, "But, I mean like who they related to. I.e. MacArthur and Lonnie and Jah and them. Anyway, they were in the wrong neigborhood unsupervised and walking to the store just the three of them and some nigga in a gold car rode up on them."

Cheyenne's heart began to beat fast. All she could think about was what happened to Cobe when they were in 'the wrong neighborhood'. "Just tell me nothing happened." She pleaded.

"Oh girl, yeah they're fine."

She hit Sade's arm roughly as a tear from nowhere rolled down her cheek. "Sadé why would you go through all that if nothing even happened? Stressing me out, girl." She asked, wiping the tears before Sade could see it.

"Sorry, sis. But I would keep a close eye on Little. I told Holly the same thing, to keep the twins close, because Lonnie is back and I don't know what type of retaliation is about to go down because of what happened before he left."

"I can't stand them and all of they shit. They always getting somebody involved in their mess."

"I just think that the kids should be left alone period." Sadé added. "Did you hear about Lonnie and Jah brother getting out of prison?"

"I didn't know there was another brother."

"That's what Cole said too. Like, weird. But apparently he's worse than Lonnie and Jah put together from what I hear. Real bad anger issues and shit. They all need therapy if you ask me. Can't even blame them not having parents but the parents ain't no better."

"Girl who are you hearing this from?"

"Well, I been chilling with Dame cousins the past couple days they been here. They seem cool."

"Damn girl, I been in my own little world. I didn't know they were here."

"That's why I had to come check on you and the baby. You were supposed to meet us at the park but Little had a game. And you look hella stressed."

"And I am."

"How is Cecil?"

"He's fine. He finally taking his health serious and listening to the doctors. I been trying to be supportive of everything especially since he is really taking care of us so good. But, shit, I need an effing break ASAP."

"Y'all should get a nanny! I know y'all can afford it."

"I sorta kinda got one." Chey cheesed, suddenly remembering a chat she had with Jill the last time she visited Cole. "You've met Jill, right?"

"She's your nanny!?"

"Noa."

"Oh girl." Sadé laughed, "Of course I know her. Dame think she a gold digger."

Chey smacked her lips. "That girl got her own money."

"Okay and who don't want more?" She tooted her lips, "That girl aborted his baby and broke up with him knowing good and well that nigga was head over heels for her. Then let him spend all them years tryna get over her just for her to come back once he's all big and famous?"

"You don't think she love him? You must aint seen them together."

"Bitch, you so naïve." Sadé shook her head. "I would love to meet her though."

"Nah, you talking mad shit and ain't even met the girl?"

"That's why I wanna met her and give her a chance." Sadé said so seriously that Cheyenne had to laugh.

"Is Georgie coming over TiTi?" Rosie asked interrupting the conversation.

"Georgie is at the studio with Uncle Dame. I'll bring her over tomorrow." Sadé answered the two year old to which Chey responded, "It's been a minute since the girls had a girl night."

Sadé held her head to the side acknowledging Chey's request to host the girls at Dame's house to give her a night off.

"Pleaaaaaaaaaase TiTi." Rosie begged, "I will be soooo good."

"Ugh, Rosie you're always an angel." Sadé admitted knowing Rosie's behavior wouldn't be an issue. It was the matter of if Sadé felt like being mommy AND TiTi tonight.

Rosie smiled big at the compliment hoping it would steer her Auntie more. "I'll buy food and I will even come by in the morning to help get them up and make breakfast. Just one night. Little is staying at his friend's house tonight after the game. Cecil is leaving in a few hoursss." Chey added, shamelessly begging Sadé to take her last child.

"Hmm." Sadé had on her thinking face. The lips were twisted up and her eyes were squinted; she rolled them every now and again for dramatic affect. "I gotta see what Dame got going on. But most likely." She said to Chey, knowing not to say the word yes too soon with Rosie's ears so attentive.

Outside, the peak hours of the sun continued on, basking down on the city of Detroit. Kids were outside enjoying their summer break. Some had already begun summer school, some were packing for college and others had not the burden of school, job or children and were out and about either getting in their vitamin d on porches and in alley ways or sitting the central air provided by their automobiles. Songs of the summer were loud in the atmosphere. Sean J pulled up to Jah's crib blasting his radio.  They never trust me with what i know. In the silkiest vibrato, those words slithered from the studio to the phone through the tesla speakers and into Lonnie's ears as he walked down the stairs of the front porch to the ash gray tesla Sean J was in. Sitting on the stairs of the shaded porch, he internally heaved at the sound that serenaded others' ears but itched his own.

He got up and walked towards the car, leaning through the opened window, "Dawg, turn that shit off." He complained with compliance from his friend.

"The hell you got against Redd? You know that nigga from Detroit."

"I ain't got nothing against that nigga. His voice just makes my small intestine itch."

"Shut the Fuck up." Sean J laughed, turning the music back up but not as loud as it was.

"But forreal, I don't fuck with that boy music. It don't seem real. He just got a bad vibe to him." Lonnie analyzed, not really ever had listened to much of Redd's music.

"You don't like him cuz he from the west side." He pursed his lips, twisting them up.

Lonnie smirked. "Maybe so." He started rationalizing, "I ain't know that shit. But he do seem like a west side type nigga." He pointed his fingers at the radio as if Redd was standing there singing to them.

"See you bullshitting." Sean laughed, "That Nigga from East pointe or something. Taylor Michigan or some weird shit. He don't even rep Detroit like that."

Lonnie got in the car and Sean drove off, never turning off Redd's tape. They listened to it in silence the whole five or so minutes.

What I do keep that shit on the lowwwwwww. Redd sang. "That nigga fruity." Lonnie scoffed, "What he talking about, keep that shit on the low? On the low nigga?? Keep what on the low?"

After that, Sean shut the radio completely. "Ayo speaking of, I heard something you should know about."

Lonnie got serious, looking ahead at their surroundings while Sean drove. He felt as if Sean had been in deep thought this whole time. He was quiet, debating on the proper way of revelation. But, Lonnie was patient.

"You know somebody named Colin Adebanjo?" Sean asked. Lonnie nodded. Sean J nodded. "He was arrested for assaulting a security guard, right?"

Lonnie nodded, vaguely remembering Jah mentioning that the day he had the breakdown. "Do you know why he attacked him?" Sean asked.

Lonnie thought about it. He told Sean that he never spoke to him about it. That was the same day he was rushed to the hospital. Now he was getting nervous. Sean J reminded him that he has an uncle that works in law enforcement for the city of Detroit. He talks to him all the time because of how close his family is. Lonnie followed along waiting patiently for Sean to get back to what the point was.

"You told me yesterday about your friend Kwabena that was killed. I was thinking about it all night. Unc told me that the case is still open because Kwabena's dad is still trying to make sure they find his killer."

"What this got to do with Cole?"

"They seized Kwabena's phone as evidence. But, evidence 'lost it'," he said using his fingers as air quotes. "There was a video."

"A video?"

"They never had the chance to submit it as evidence before it went missing. But, it's the same video that was leaked on social media with Cole in it. But, it had another video attached at the end. He's under investigation but not officially."

"Cole under investigation for murder? Why are you telling me? And why was your uncle talking about that shit freely? That's illegal as fuck."

"I'm telling you because I heard you was fucking him around that time."

Lonnie jerked his head, anger slowly building, "And how the Fuck would anybody know that?" Then he was hit with another question,  "What leaked video? The video of him fighting the security guard?"

"Him having sex with a man."

Lonnie's eyes shot open, shock written all over his being. "Sean." Lonnie asked in disbelief, "You didn't tell your uncle about anything I told you, right? You didn't tell him about Mo."

"Nah, but they thinking that shit might be related because Kwabena dad told them about Mohammed being around a lot."

"Let me out, Sean." He said simply, becoming skeptical of Sean J's intentions with him. His hand was on the door handle as they sped down the road. Sean looked confused, not understanding. But, Lonnie was growing angrier as the time passed.

"Sean!" Lonnie said with much more force, "Pull this shit over nigga! Damn!."

Sean pulled over and Lonnie hurriedly stepped out of the car. He began walking down the street with zero regard for Sean's oblivion. He molded himself into a daygoer and stood at the bus stop with the other laymen going about their day. But, his anger was turning into paranoia real quick. While standing there, he pulled his phone out and turned off the location tracker then quickly removing the battery he tossed tossed it into the street, watching it get ran over and destroyed by the heavy traffic.

"Damn." Some guy beside him said in reaction to his actions. Lonnie looked over at him. He pursed his lips pretending it wasn't him who said it. But, Lonnie wasn't thinking about what he'd said because there was something about this guy that stole his attention.  He smiled feeling Lonnie still looking at him.

He was kinda short, 5'8, standing a bit above Lonnie's shoulders. His teeth were bright white, almost looking false, they really shone against his brown skin and dark, full beard. Like Lonnie, he was tatted all up his arms and neck which was on display because he was wearing a short sleeved graffic tee. He was holding a smoothie king cup from the bottom and in between his fingers was his phone and his wallet. In the other hand he was carrying bags from the mall. He didn't wear a jacket and his pants had no pockets. He wasn't wearing any sort of backpack either; just raw dogging it with his ten fingers and two palms.

"Why not put your shit in the bag?" Lonnie asked, making the young man turn his head to him. "Wouldn't that be easier?" He motioned towards his surely cramped hand with all the items he was holding.

The guy laughed. "I didn't think about it until now." He moved towards Lonnie, "Can you grab this for me?" He put his hand out. Lonnie reached for the side of his hand that carried the phone. "Nah, the cup."

Lonnie nodded, grabbing the cup from his hand. He watched the guy put his wallet into the shopping bag.

"I seen you before somewhere." The guy said, but Lonnie was sure he'd never seen this nigga. He was always observant of his surroundings and always noticed when he was being noticed or watched.

"I doubt it. I don't go nowhere."

"Nah, I'm pretty sure. What's your name?"

"Black." He told him. There's alot of dudes in Detroit who go by that shit now, he was sure he wouldn't know him.

"Oh." He nodded, "Yeah, I don't know you actually. But can I get'cho number?" His voice was deep and low, not really matching his face, but it was cute.

Lonnie raised his brows at his directness. "For what?" He smirked.

"So I can call you. Or text you..."

Lonnie chuckled, wiping his face with his palm. "What's yo name?"

"Amiris."

Lonnie nodded, "That's a nice name."

"Well, you got a nice face." He said, looking the other way in search of the bus. "I wanna see it again."

Lonnie cheesed, "Alright then Amiris, lemme see yo phone."

"I don't know if I trust you with my phone with the way you be treating your own phone, Black."

Lonnie laughed, forgetting what had happened in the last few minutes before. "Shit."

Amiris sighed when the bus came rolling down the street, stopping with a loud screech and a whine as the bus driver lowered the heavy driving machine for the passengers to be able to easily step up.. "Maybe i'll see you again. Detroit ain't but so big."

"You right." Lonnie looked him over, regretting his angry outburst moments before, "I'll see you around Amiris. Get home safe." He nodded to him as he disappeared into the line of folks boarding the DDOT bus. Lonnie was waiting for the Smart bus since he was going farther east.

Amidst his wait, he recalled a day years ago when he first saw Amiris on public transportation and wondered if the man remembered that day too. Jogging back, in his mind, to that year, made him think about Cole. How they've drifted and why.

"He only fucking with you to spite Cobe. You know that, right?" He could hear his brother's voice loud and clear. It was the first time the two of them had spoken one on one— just days after the family meeting. "I don't know why he even leading you on like that. You know he got a girlfriend too? And he still messing with his ex." Dame went on, "You like him for real or what?" He asked.

"You saying all this for what? To make me mad or sumn?"

Dame shrugged. "I know Cole. I'm just letting you know what's going on before you get caught up." Dame looked at his big brother, "I still care about'chu."

Lonnie blew air through his nose at the sentiment.

"Don't nobody care about my crazy ass." He smirked, "What you come over here for? For real Dame."

"I just think it's weird that we never chill."

"What's weird is you talking to me about Cole. Can we talk about something else? Because what me and Cole do has nothing to do with you."

"But it does though. Me and Cole are friends. I don't like it when you mess with my friends. I'm not letting you take nobody else from me."

"Excuse me?"

"Just forget it."

"Nah, Dame. What?"

"You know what happens, nigga. You not doing nothing to him. He's my friend."

"I can't believe you. You think i'm gonna— I couldn't hurt Cole even if I wanted to. I actually care about him, alot. Probably too much."

Dame was quiet.

Lonnie huffed, "You know what?"

Dame side eyed him.

"I'm not even mad. It's cool you got his back. But you don't gotta worry about him— I got him."

"He's my only fucking friend Alonso."

"Mine too."

"Well, he was my friend first. So leave him alone."

The loud sigh of the bus getting low alerted Lonnie of its arrival. As he stood in line to board, he couldn't help but think his brother may have planned a whole scheme to separate Cole and himself. The whole ride to his house in Taylor, he stared out the window deep in thought just as Cheyenne did while waiting for a friend to pull up to her house.

Dressed in leggings and an oversized