All too well
(10 minute version)
Taylor swift
7:20 ——————————•———

𝑰'𝒅 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒎𝒚 𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒊𝒎 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒕𝒓𝒚𝒊𝒏' 𝒕𝒐 𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒕

𝑳𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒎𝒚 𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏...
𝑺𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒐𝒏 11
𝑶𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒊𝒏𝒂𝒍 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓

☆

𝑱𝒐𝒗𝒊 𝒔𝒂𝒕 𝒄𝒓𝒐𝒔𝒔-𝒍𝒆𝒈𝒈𝒆𝒅 𝒐𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 floor of her room, the soft hum of an old record playing in the background. She stared at the box of things she'd finally gathered from her time with Blake —photos, notes, little trinkets she couldn't bring herself to throw out yet. It was like staring at a ghost of herself, someone who felt so distant she wasn't even sure if she'd recognize her anymore.

She ran a finger over the edge of a folded napkin from their first date, Blake's scrawled handwriting still visible on it. 'Jovi, second date rematch?' it read, in a crooked, messy script. A part of her wanted to laugh at how dramatic it seemed now. Another part of her wanted to cry.

Jovi let out a shaky breath, her chest tightening. She wanted to hate him for what he'd done, for the way he'd shattered her trust and humiliated her. But the anger had faded, leaving behind a dull ache that felt heavier than rage ever could.

She missed him. Or maybe she missed the version of him she'd fallen in love with. The boy who made her feel seen, who made her believe in the kind of love that didn't hurt. But that boy wasn't real — not anymore. And maybe he never had been.

She leaned back against her bed frame, staring up at the ceiling as her thoughts spiraled. She wasn't just mourning Blake; she was mourning the part of herself she'd lost along the way.

She used to know who she was. The girl who cracked jokes at the wrong time, the girl who could light up a room without even trying. The girl who never let anyone dull her shine. Now, every glance in the mirror felt like seeing a stranger. Her edges had softened, her spark dimmed. The Jovi who once laughed too loud and lived too boldly had been replaced by someone quieter, someone unsure. She hated that she'd let him take that from her, even if he hadn't meant to.

But now, sitting in the aftermath of everything, Jovi felt like she was standing in the rubble of who she used to be, trying to piece herself back together without even knowing where to start.

It wasn't just the breakup. It was what came with it — the questioning, the self-doubt, the way she'd let someone else's treatment of her shape the way she saw herself. Blake had left cracks in her confidence, ones she hadn't realized were there until it was too late.

"Who even am I anymore?" she muttered under her breath, her voice breaking slightly.

She missed herself — the carefree, sarcastic girl who didn't need anyone else to make her feel whole. She wanted to get back to that, but it felt like chasing a shadow, something just out of reach.

Jovi closed her eyes, letting the music wash over her.

Maybe one day she'd be able to find herself again. She didn't believe it fully, not yet. But somewhere deep down, a spark of hope flickered. It wasn't much, but it was enough to remind her that she wasn't lost forever. She just needed time. Time to heal, time to rediscover herself, time to remember the girl who didn't need anyone else to make her feel complete.

☆

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒐𝒍 𝒅𝒐𝒐𝒓𝒔 felt like they weighed a thousand pounds as Jovi shoved them open, trailing behind Ares. She was already bracing herself for the onslaught: the stares, the whispers, the expertly executed "subtle" glances that were about as subtle as a clown at a funeral.

Ares, always one to notice her unease, nudged her shoulder with his. "Okay, so hear me out," he started, his voice overly animated. "If aliens invaded right now, who do you think they'd abduct first? My money's on Mr. Peterson—he's way too nice. They'd probably think he's some kind of undercover leader or something."

Despite herself, Jovi felt the corners of her mouth twitch upward. "You're insane, you know that?"

"Insane? Or the only one here who's prepared for an alien apocalypse?" Ares retorted, giving her his best over-the-top eyebrow waggle. He swung the door to her locker open like it was some grand gesture. "You decide."

The hallway buzzed with murmurs, a constant hum of low-grade judgment that crawled under Jovi's skin. She could feel the eyes on her, sharp and piercing, even though she refused to meet them. The stares made her hyperaware of everything—how her hair probably wasn't sitting right, how the scuff on her boots suddenly felt glaringly obvious, how she wanted to crawl into the locker Ares just opened and slam the door shut behind her.

But instead, she settled for her usual defense mechanism: sarcasm. She could almost hear her dad's voice in her head. Fake it 'til you make it, kid.

"Aliens should take the whole school, honestly," she muttered, fishing her books out of the locker. "Clean slate. Do us all a favor."

Ares grinned. "I like where your head's at. But let's leave Kat behind. We'll need someone to keep morale up while we rebuild civilization."

"Leave Kat behind for the aliens?" a voice chimed in from behind them. Speak of the devil.

Kat appeared at the end of the hallway, her eyes instantly locking onto a cluster of girls whispering near the lockers. The venom in her glare was enough to send them scattering like roaches under a flashlight.

"Seriously?" Kat barked, loud enough to echo. "Got nothing better to do than talk about my best friend? Pathetic."

Jovi rolled her eyes, but a small flicker of warmth pierced through the fog that had settled in her chest. Kat's dramatics were a bit much sometimes, but they were also reliable. Like clockwork, her best friend always showed up when she needed backup—even when Jovi hadn't asked for it.

Kat marched up to them, slinging an arm around Jovi's shoulders like she was planting a flag. "You okay?" she asked, her voice softening.

Jovi gave her a halfhearted shrug. "Peachy."

"Good," Kat replied without missing a beat. "Because I'm ready to throat-punch anyone who even breathes wrong in your direction." She shot another death glare over her shoulder, just for good measure.

Ares smirked, leaning lazily against the lockers. "And you guys call me the dramatic one."

"Someone's gotta balance you out," Kat shot back, flipping her hair like she wasn't already plotting the demise of half the student body. Her eyes flicked back to Jovi, though, softer this time. "Seriously, though. Ignore them. None of these people matter. Not a single one."

Jovi let out a slow breath, trying to absorb her friend's confidence by osmosis. "I know. Thanks."

"Always," Kat replied, squeezing her shoulder.

As they made their way down the hallway, Ares kept up his relentless chatter, diving into a nonsensical argument about whether cats would side with the aliens during an invasion. Kat chimed in occasionally, mostly to roast him, while keeping an eye out for potential threats like some sort of overprotective hawk. And Jovi, despite the weight still pressing on her chest, felt a flicker of something she hadn't felt in a while.

It wasn't happiness, exactly. Not yet. But it was a start. Like maybe—just maybe—she'd find her way back to herself, one sarcastic comment at a time.

☆

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅 𝒐𝒇 sneakers squeaking on the polished gym floor echoed through the air as the class stretched and warmed up. She stood at the edge of the group, arms folded tightly over her chest, pretending to stretch but really just trying not to combust. Across the gym, the Plastics 2.0 were huddled together like a pack of vultures, their whispers carrying just enough for her to catch the gist: "Did you hear how he dumped her?" and "Honestly, Blake could do so much better."

Oh, sure, Jovi thought bitterly, because being an emotionally stunted man-child with the moral compass of a raccoon is such a high bar.

Her jaw clenched as she stared at the floor, determined not to react. Reacting was exactly what they wanted, and Jovi refused to give them the satisfaction. Instead, she tried to channel her old self—always ready with a quip, no matter how bad things got. But today? Today the jokes felt flat, like the air had been sucked out of her humor balloon.

This is pathetic, she thought. When did I become the sad girl standing in a corner while the popular kids reenact Mean Girls? The worst part was that she didn't even have the energy to come up with a snarky line to make herself feel better. She was just... tired. Tired of the whispers, tired of feeling like a shadow of herself, tired of Blake Winslow taking up rent-free space in her brain.

Aria, standing nearby with perfect posture and her usual aura of authority, noticed the group as well. She rolled her eyes, her expression hardening as the whispers continued. While she and Jovi had never gotten along—month's of petty jabs and competition had seen to that—Aria recognized the look on Jovi's face. She'd worn that same expression after her own breakup with Blake. And as much as she loved a good rivalry, she couldn't stomach watching these girls tear someone down when she knew exactly how it felt.

"Hey!" Aria snapped, her voice sharp enough to silence the whispers instantly. The girls turned to her, wide-eyed and caught off guard.

"Why don't you all stop gossiping and start warming up before Coach decides we're doing suicides today?" Aria continued, her hands on her hips. "Unless you want me to tell her who's been slacking."

The girls froze, their whispers dying faster than Blake's credibility. They mumbled something incoherent and scattered like cockroaches, grabbing jump ropes and pretending they hadn't just been caught mid-trash talk.

Jovi blinked, surprised. Did Aria just... defend me? Had hell frozen over? Is this an alternate universe? Should I be looking for a glowing portal or something?

Aria didn't stop there. She strode across the gym and stopped in front of Jovi, her face unreadable. "Winchester. A word?"

Jovi hesitated, instinctively folding her arms tighter. Okay, so this is probably where she tells me that defending me was just her community service for the day or something. Still, she nodded and followed Aria to a quieter corner of the gym.

Aria crossed her arms, mirroring Jovi's defensive posture, but her voice was softer than Jovi expected. "I'm not saying we're suddenly besties or whatever, but I know what you're going through. Those girls? They're vultures. They did the same thing to me after Blake and I broke up."

Jovi's surprise must have shown on her face, because Aria smirked slightly. "What, you thought I wouldn't get it? Newsflash: Blake's been an ass long before you came along. You're just the latest girl to realize it."

Jovi didn't know what to say to that. She wasn't sure if she wanted to laugh, cry, or offer Aria some kind of sarcastic trophy for Most Unexpected Ally of the Year.

"For what it's worth," Aria continued, "I'm sorry this happened to you. Blake's an ass, and he doesn't deserve someone like you."

Jovi's defenses cracked just a little. "Thanks...I guess."

Aria nodded, her expression serious. "But if you're going to get through this, you need to stop letting them see that it bothers you. Act like you don't care, even if you do. Don't give them the satisfaction. If you play it cool, the whispers will die down eventually."

Jovi nodded slowly, taking in Aria's words. She hated to admit it, but Aria had a point.

"And one more thing," Aria added, a smirk tugging at her lips. "You should bring Kat and sit with us at lunch. The cheer squad's table. If people see you there, it'll shut a lot of this down. No one's going to talk crap about you if you're sitting with me."

Jovi blinked in shock. "You want me to sit with you?"

"Don't make it weird," Aria said, rolling her eyes. "It's just strategy. Take it or leave it."

Jovi stared at her for a moment, trying to process the surrealness of the situation. Aria, her longtime rival, was now offering her a lifeline. She wasn't sure if she trusted it, but... maybe she didn't have to.

Jovi studied her for a moment before nodding. "I'll think about it."

"Good." Aria turned on her heel and headed back to the group, barking at a few stragglers to pick up the pace.

Jovi stayed in the corner for a moment longer, mulling over what had just happened. She wasn't sure if she trusted Aria, but she couldn't deny that the girl had a point. Maybe it was time to stop letting the whispers get to her.

☆

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒂𝒇𝒆𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒂 𝒘𝒂𝒔 buzzing with noise as Jovi and Kat made their way toward the cheer squad's table. Kat, as usual, was skeptical, arms crossed like she was about to fend off a horde of zombies.

"You sure about this, Jovi?" Kat asked, eyeing the group from a few feet away. "I mean, it's Aria. You really think she's not just setting us up for something?"

Jovi grinned but there was no real punch behind it. She felt... off. Like a soda that's lost its fizz. "Kat, I'm not saying I trust her with my life, but I am saying that a change of scenery might keep the gossiping idiots at bay for at least an hour. Besides, I'm getting tired of playing the sad, broken heart routine. Time to fake it 'til we make it."

Kat rolled her eyes but followed Jovi. "Yeah, I still think you're gonna end up throwing a juice box at Aria."

Jovi winked. "That's the plan, sweetheart."

They reached the table where Aria was waiting. She gave them a cool, almost too-charming smile. "Nice of you two to join the party."

Jovi flopped down in her seat, throwing a casual glance at Kat, who was still not entirely sure she was making the right choice. "We'll try not to cramp your style."

Aria laughed lightly, her eyes scanning the two of them before she leaned in, lowering her voice. "Don't worry, I'm not about to turn this into a girls-only club. We're just gonna keep it chill, right?"

Kat mumbled, "I'm still not convinced—" but Jovi shot her a look that told her to shut up and just go with it.

The girls started chatting about upcoming routines, school stuff, and the usual teenage nonsense. It was nice to be included, even if it wasn't exactly comfortable. Jovi wasn't sure how long she'd last before her sarcasm came out full force — she could already feel the tension bubbling inside her.

And then — because the universe never lets Jovi have a peaceful lunch —Blake and his friends walked over.

Blake, with his usual swagger and stupid grin, led the charge. "What's up, ladies?" he said, his eyes skimming over the group before landing on Jovi.

For a moment, Jovi felt something like a wave crash over her. He was here, right in front of her, and yet the words to cut him down weren't coming. Nothing. It was like her sarcasm had left her bags packed and just walked out the door. But damn it, she wasn't gonna let that show. Not now. Not in front of him.

Blake sat down without waiting for an invitation, his friends trailing behind him.

"Mind if we join?" Blake asked, his tone completely oblivious to the fact that Aria had been throwing shade at them for the last minute.

Aria, who was already halfway through a sip of her water, slammed the bottle down on the table with a deafening thud. "Did I say you could sit here?" she shot back, her tone sharp.

Blake blinked, clearly thrown off by the sudden confrontation. "Uh... what?"

Aria didn't miss a beat. "I don't think I gave you an invite, Blake. So, unless you want to get your own damn seat, you can take your little friends and find somewhere else to be."

There was a long, awkward silence as the group exchanged glances. Blake's friends looked at each other like they'd just stumbled into a fire drill, unsure what to do.

"You heard the lady," Aria added, smirking. "Move it."

Jovi couldn't help but snicker under her breath. Kat did too, her eyes widening in genuine surprise.

Blake's jaw tightened, but instead of causing a scene, he stood up, muttering something to his friends as they shuffled off. Jovi was half tempted to stand up and cheer, but she knew better.

"Damn, that was good," Kat whispered.

Aria shrugged nonchalantly. "He had it coming. Someone needed to remind him where the line is."

As the football team disappeared, Jovi found herself grinning, feeling the tension melt away just a little bit. She even let out a small laugh — her first in what felt like forever.

"Okay, I'll admit," Kat said, nudging Jovi. "That was actually kind of badass."

Jovi smiled, but it wasn't the sarcastic, smart-aleck grin that had once been her trademark. It was real, though. A hint of her old self breaking through, even if it was just a crack.

"Yeah, yeah. Don't get too excited," Jovi said, her tone still a little flat but with a flicker of her old wit. "But hey, I guess Aria's not totally the worst."

Aria raised an eyebrow. "I heard that."

"I'm still watching you," Jovi shot back.

Aria laughed. "Smart move."

As the conversation shifted back to more mundane things, like the school dance and upcoming routines, Jovi found herself sinking back into the group. It wasn't perfect, but it was better. It wasn't the big, loud comeback she was used to, but it was something. A little spark of her old self, just starting to emerge.

☆

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒐𝒍 𝒉𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚 was unusually quiet as Jovi walked to her next class, her sneakers echoing faintly against the linoleum. Most students were still in the cafeteria or milling around the courtyard, leaving her alone in the corridor. She didn't mind the solitude—it gave her a rare moment to think, to breathe. A week had passed since she'd broken things off with Blake, and while the sting of his betrayal still lingered, she was beginning to feel a little more like herself again. But even as she tried to focus on moving forward, an odd uneasiness had crept into her chest.

She turned the corner, her fingers gripping the strap of her bag, when she stopped abruptly.

The air changed.

It grew heavier, oppressive, as though the hallway itself was holding its breath. A faint chill prickled her skin, raising goosebumps even though there were no open windows nearby. Her instincts flared, the same ones that had always whispered to her when something wasn't right.

Jovi froze mid-step, her breath hitching.

That's when she saw her.

A woman stood at the far end of the hallway, her presence so commanding that it felt like the world itself bent around her. She wasn't someone Jovi recognised, and yet there was something oddly familiar about her. Dark, cascading hair framed a face so perfect it felt unreal, and her eyes—deep and bottomless—seemed to pierce straight through Jovi. Shadows gathered around her feet, almost alive, shifting and swirling like restless spirits.

Jovi's heart thudded in her chest. Whoever—or whatever—this woman was, she