boothill believes that he's undeserving of love. 

with his rough edges and crude tone, no one in their right minds would settle for a man like him. let's face it- if fate would allow us, we'd choose someone who can provide for us without any hassle. yet to him, what's living without any hardships? 

whether it be locals or foreigners alike, he doesn't deserve them- would rather die alone than to have someone who he'd rather let go off to have a better life than him.

he's just full of self-deprecating thoughts, isn't he? 

after that night, he steered clear from the beauregard's  barn- he'd go to the meadow when the moon was at its peak to make sure that he wouldn't cross paths with a certain (h/c) haired girl. 

it's safe to say that the man is scared. scared at the fact that she might've caught feelings for him, scared that her sober and drunk self were nothing alike- scared that he's just some toy for her to waste her time on. 

he doesn't mind it, trust him- if it weren't for the fact that he's slowly falling for her, he would've had the guts to flirt with her and shoot his shot without getting attached. 

oh who was he kidding, it's impossible to do that with her. despite being a hermit for most of the time, she gave him something to hold on to- something he's willing to dig into bare handed. he couldn't read her perfectly, yet despite the differences, he understands her longing for home. 

he's willing to sit through an hour of her ranting about traffic, or the long lines at her favorite coffee shop if it meant staring at her throughout the boring lecture. 

boothill has grown fond of her, more than he could've expected- and it's something that scares him the most. he's known all too well that she's only here for the summer, and there's no guarantee that she'll ever return. 

his heart wouldn't handle falling for someone that's meant to be far away from him. 

she's a princess meant for the high life, and he's just a lone bumpkin meant for her to step on to rise. 

harsh, i know.

carmine eyes stared onto the night sky, gazing at the countless shimmering balls of light above him as he laid on the dewy grass, loving the way it grazed on his skin as the wind fluttered around him. 

he laid underneath the oak tree- the same one that stood across the older tree where he first met y/n. 

despite wanting to steer clear from locations he knew she'd visit, this was the only spot he'd grown attached to- the lone spot that has the clear view of the endless galaxy that covered the earth. 

the stars reminded him of the photos she'd shown him, a clear skyline view of the city lights of penacony. 

although not as intense, he appreciated how beautiful something small could be. 

he only has to avoid her for two weeks before she has to leave- two more weeks. he could do that, right? 

two weeks... before she leaves. 

for a moment, his heart tightened at the thought. over the past few weeks, his days were filled with mindless banter and adventures with her- one that he grew too fond of. if he wasn't working or with his friends at the rodeo, he'd be with her- chatting the afternoon away or teasing her endlessly. 

he wasn't aware of it, but she had become a part of his routine. meeting her came natural to him as breathing, his day would feel incomplete without picking a fight with her. 

boothill clicked his tongue in annoyance, heaving out a sigh as he closed his eyes to relish in the faint sounds of crickets chirping. it's always been her, isn't it? the one to plague his mind, the one to fill him with anticipation- it's her. 

yet as much as his body yearns to be close to her, his heart couldn't will his mind to do so. 

he isn't ready for heartbreak, even at the age of twenty-one.

"are you dead?" 

he didn't need to open his eyes to know who's talking to him, knowing that voice all too well for his own damn good. he couldn't deny how his heart thumped against his chest, nor could he ignore how his previous thoughts about ignoring her disappeared.

like i said, being with her is like second nature to him.

"ya wish." 

sitting across from the pond, underneath the old oak tree, was y/n. 

since when did she look this beautiful? 

donned in her silk pajamas, the (h/c) haired girl stared at him with a look of confusion, humming at his response as she focused her gaze on the rippling pond. 

"i thought you were- i didn't see you for four days." his heart wrenched with both guilt and annoyance. guilt because he made her worried, and annoyance because he couldn't believe it's only been four days since that night when he thought it's been a week.

the dual-hair colored man let out a hearty chuckle, sitting up as he turned to face her. even with the change of scenery, he still couldn't get his mind out of what happened- he's been overthinking it more that he should've. 

"wouldn't ya be glad if i did?" 

"then my stay here would've been boring." 

there she goes again, spouting nonsense that didn't help in calming his poor heart down. 

maybe he's just reading into it too deep- maybe she doesn't mean it the way he thinks she does. but he's not a damned psychic, he couldn't tell the difference between delusions and reality when it comes to her. 

"i bet you'd be stuck inside yer house, doing aeons what." it was her turn to chuckle, dipping her hand in the pond as she let the fish nibble at her skin.

she'd be lying if she said he wasn't right- and she'd be dumb if she didn't admit that she missed him to some extent. 

"what were you doing anyways? i didn't see you when the festival was closing." 

avoiding you, what else? 

he stayed silent, watching the way she'd sway her hand on the water as the fish followed her movement. he missed her, yet he was too prideful and scared to even admit the simple fact.

"was busy workin'. 'm not just lazin' roun' ya know?" 

boothill was silently grateful that she didn't bring up the night at the pub, thanking the alcohol for erasing her memory else he'd be even more conflicted if she brought it up. he knew that she was drunk the moment he talked to her- emma telling him that y/n had to stay over at her place and not remembering the events after three pints in. 

"how 'bout you? did anythin' while i was outta yer hair?" she rolled her eyes at his comment, giving him a shrug.

"i went around. emma showed me a place, but it's too far without a car." 

this made him raise a brow, silently curious as to what intrigued this girl so much that she'd want to go back. hell, he couldn't even convince her to go back at the stables to ride betsy again. 

"where'd she take ya?" 

"a field just near the outskirts of town." 

ah, that place? if his memory serves him correctly, it was a field of nothing but wildflowers. to him, it's nothing more than a plain old field. 

his mind was conflicted as he remained silent, weighing his options down as his heart begged him to just leave. yet he couldn't ignore the way she spoke about the place- it was the same tone as when she'd talk about the city she loves so much. 

on one hand, he couldn't care less. he wasn't the one who brought her there, so he didn't have the responsibilities to take her another time. on the other, he wanted to spend time with her after being idiotic enough to avoid her like some sort of flu. 

after all, she didn't do anything wrong- it was just him and his mind overthinking every single word that comes out of her mouth. 

with a sigh, he stood up, dusting his hat that he used as a cushion that made the girl hum at his actions. (e/c) eyes stared as he turned to her, waving a hand at the other end of the field where his truck was parked. 

"what ya waitin' for? 'm bored, might as well take ya there." 

he didn't miss how her eyes lit up at his words, nor did he miss her eager movements as she rounded the pond and walked up to him. 

he couldn't ignore it any longer.

as much as his heart cried out for him to stop, he's gone too far deep in the trenches that we all call love.

boothill is undeniably, without a doubt, in love with the city girl.

ʸᵒᵘ'ʳᵉ ˡⁱˢᵗᵉⁿⁱⁿᵍ ᵗᵒ: ˢᵘᵐᵐᵉʳᵗⁱᵐᵉ ˢᵃᵈⁿᵉˢˢ

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

he didn't know what to expect, honestly. it was nearing midnight with only the moon lighting the field in front of them. hell, he couldn't even see anything past the main road as the two stood in front of the wildflowers. 

the man would like to think that he just wasted time and gas to bring her here, but the look on her face told him to just suck it up.

"wow. such a beauty." he sarcastically remarked, removing his hat as he walked further into the field. his words made the (h/c) haired girl laugh sarcastically back, pushing past him as she took his hat from him.

before he could even protest, y/n threw the hat, hearing the soft crunch of grass where it landed.

"hey! that hat is-" she interrupted him, eyes on the field as she used a finger to shush him.

"look." 

boothill didn't know if she's gone insane or has always been this way, ruffling his hair in annoyance as he turned to where she's looking. he couldn't see anything at first, further adding on to his annoyance as he opened his mouth to complain about how careless she was with his hat.

however, he'd soon swallow down his insults, as tiny specks of light began to emerge from the grass. ten turned into twenty- until the whole field was light up with fireflies. 

he'd only ever been here twice, and both times were in the afternoon. he thought that there's nothing to be seen here- as it was far from the town and he'd rather not waste energy going here just to sulk. 

the man was proven wrong, as the scene before him looked like it was straight out of an image from her phone. 

the dual-hair colored male glanced at the girl beside him, heart skipping a beat at how beautiful she looked at the dim yet fascinating light that the critters emitted. if his phone wasn't broken, he would've snuck a photo right then and there to remember her by. 

her eyes shone with delight, watching the fireflies scatter into the night sky.

"pretty, isn't it? it's like being in the city all over again."

"yeah... darn pretty." 

y/n's gaze was on the field, her heart feeling a rush of longingness as the light dimmed down. boothill, however, had his eyes on her and only her, forgetting about what he actually drove here for. 

his eyes didn't miss how her smile radiated her face even more, or how her eyes crinkled in delight. he didn't miss how her hair, although messy, flowed beautifully on her back. he didn't miss when she'd turn to him, eyes locking with carmine ones that looked back. 

he surely didn't miss how soft she looked underneath the moonlight, or how her lips curved to say his name.

"yeah?" he swallowed a lump on his throat, putting his hat back on to shield his gaze.

her laugh echoed throughout the field, causing his stomach to do summersaults and heart to tighten at the sound of her voice.

"i know you hate the city, but when emma brought me here, all i could think of is you." 

the man let out a confused hum, finding the courage to look at her as she diverted her gaze back at the dim field.

"why's that?" 

"because it reminded me of the city- and i wanted to show you how beautiful the lights look without bringing you there." 

(e/c) eyes met with his, the wind fluttering around them as all he could hear was how loud his heart was racing against his chest.

"pretty, right?"

'not as pretty as you.'

I GOT SICK OF FLUFF SO I WROTE AN ANGST BOOK ON MY MAIN ACC. also, heres an update <3