"What's going on?!" I exclaimed as I saw my dad walk in through the gates.

Michonne had explained earlier, when she came back, about Tara and my dad's plan to end the Saviours. Which clearly went against Rick's original plan, as it involved a truck being driven through the Sanctuary walls to allow walkers inside.

We all planned to leave for the Sanctuary that night, travelling there to hopefully accept their surrender. I was annoyed at my dad and his reckless behaviour. But I wasn't right to say anything against him after what I did earlier. If it did mean the end to the Saviours, I would definitely want to be there for it.

Before we all left, I decided to try and find Carl and see if he had returned. He was beside a sewer drain.

"Carl we're ready to head out. What are you doing?" I asked, catching his attention.

"I'm helping someone." He replied. "A traveller."

"In a sewer?" I asked.

He was about to answer after his sigh, but the sound of a loud metallic clanging echoed through the streets. A screech of a microphone blared through.

"You may be wondering why your lookouts didn't sound the alarm." A familiar voice bellowed. "See, we are elite. I mean, I don't know whether they're gonna wake up from that kinda shot, but they should wake up. So let's just cut through the cow shit. You lose. It's over. So you're gonna line up in front of your little houses, and you're gonna work up some apologises, and then the person with the lamest one is gonna get killed. Then I kill Rick in front of everybody, and we move on. You have three, count 'em, three minutes to open this gate or we start bombing the shit out of you."

"They're out.." I whispered.

"Come on." Carl quickly grabbed my hand as Negan's whistle echoed down the street. I couldn't move for a second.

"Carl what..?"

"We need to make it look like we're escaping out back." Carl explained. "Get to the woods, halfway to the quarry and cut the lights! Get enough of a lead on them, hit them and get away on foot. You know where we'll be. Just have to get the guns, get everyone else here, and we'll meet you there."

"Two minutes people!" Negan yelled. "Dig deep, I want these apologies to be memorable. Bonus points for creativity. Write a poem, sing a song. I love that shit."

"Go, now!" Carl instructed. "There's people in the infirmary. They're gonna need your help."

Negan whistled and Tara came into view. "Look, we've got guns, we can fight them."

"We will." Rosira replied. "But not now, Carl's right."

"We can't just let them have this place." Michonne said.

"We can." Carl replied. "All we need to do it survive tonight. This is my show. You said it. This is my plan, and you're gonna do it. You're all gonna do it. So let's go!"

My dad grabbed my hand. "Let's go."

I shook him off and reached for Carl. "Are you sure this will work? I don't want you-"

Carl nodded. "It will work. I-I'll be fine. Trust me."

I took his hands and quickly kissed him, he held my waist before I pulled away. "I trust you.. I'll follow your lead."

"Thank you..now please, go." He whispered and pushed me away gently.

I remained behind while my dad took the convoy and got everyone to saftey

"Everyone come on! Quickly now!" I said to the remaining patients.

I directed them to the ladder in the sewers. As soon as I saw someone holding Judith in their arms, I instantly took her off them and took her into my embrace.

"Hey sweetie." I whispered softly. I looked at Tobin. "Is everyone down?"

"Yeah." He nodded. "Everyone that needs to be."

"Where's Carl?" I asked frantically.

"He'll be okay, you need to get down there." He replied.

"I need to help out here!" I huffed.

"No, look after Judith and be there for everyone down there." Tobin said.

I went carefully down the ladder, making sure not to drop Judith. I could see Alexandrians huddled togther.

"Is everyone okay?" I asked, looking towards the terrified faces.

"Are we gonna live through this?" Someone said.

My mouth felt dry, my eyes widened but I had to swallow down the nerves building up.

"Yes. I know whatever happening up there is scary, but we will." I started. "I know you're scared, believe me I am too, but we'll make it through this. We've got each other and that is all that matters."

I lifted Judith on my hip some more and walked over to the other end to lean her against the wall, until I saw an unfamiliar face and I instantly became uneasy.

"Who are you?" I places my hand on my gun.

The man raised his hands slowly. "I'm Siddiq, Carl brought me here!"

"You're the traveller?" I asked, narrowing my eyes up and down.

He nodded. "I mean you no harm. You're Lilia, aren't you?"

"Yes.." I slowly nodded. "It's nice to meet you. If Carl trusts you, then so do I."

"Carl trusts you, so I trust you too.. Lilia." Siddiq said.

Tara, Rosita and my dad eventually joined us all in the sewers not long after getting to know Siddiq. As soon as I saw them I rushed over to my dad.

As I hugged him I slightly heard him mumble. "I'm sorry Lils.."

"Dont apologise." I replied quietly. "We'll be okay."

"Better get comfy, it's gonna be a long night." Rosita said and slouched down.

In the corner of my eye I saw Dwight sheepishly against the wall, as if he was trying not to be seen.

I didn't want to deal with him, so I ignored him for now.

"Darry!" Judith exclaimed and reached for him.

"Hey kid." He greeted and lifted her into his arms.

Judith curled into his embrace, and he sat down with her.

I had heard someone else arriving, I looked up to see who it was. I hoped it to be Rick, Michonne or Carl, thankfully it was my boyfriend. Even from a distance it was obvious there was something wrong.

"You okay Carl?" I asked before he stumbled into my arms and I pulled him across my shoulders.

"Carl?!"

"I'm.. okay." He whispered.

"Yeah you look like it too." He was pale, a thin line of sweat drew on his forehead which made him look translucent in the poor lighting. A pained expression overridded his features.

"Don't lie to me." I helped him sit against the wall. "What is it, tell me."

His expression dimmed, turned sad and looked full of pain. He looked at me, as if what was about to be spoken could completely crush everything.

"Please don't be mad.." He pleaded in a quiet tone, he squeezed my hand with little strength.

"Did you get shot?" I asked.

"No.." He breathed out, and rolled up his shirt. "It happened in the woods. When I was helping Siddiq."

"Carl." I said quietly. "What.."

He lifted a bandage. "I'm so sorry Lilia.."

He revealed a bite mark.

I didn't say anything. I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to process what I was seeing, or hearing from him. The bite mark was the thing that has finally brought the earth to crash down on me.

This world wasn't made to confuse me, it was made to almost destroy me.

Now I was going to lose the one I loved.

"No.." I let out a gasp. "P-Please.."

His eyes filled with tears. "It's okay.."

"Lilia?" a voice asked, I turned around with tears in my eyes and saw Rick and Michonne.

Michonne fell to her knees beside him, shock all over her face as the wreckage still continued above us. Some rocks fell from the ceiling, and Rick reached out to place a hand on my shoulder for support.

"I..I don't.." He said quietly.

"Dad." Carl replied.

I wasn't the one who was dying, but seeing the bite made me feel like I might as well be.

The damp concrete dug into my knees and skin, the lingering pain in my throat and chest didn't match the one I was feeling in my heart. It was like my heart and soul had been taken and ripped up like it was nothing but a frail sheet of thin paper.

But the pieces couldn't be put back together.

Not after this.

The terror was suffocating. I just wanted to scream and show at him "DON'T LEAVE ME!" But all I could do was sit and struggle to breathe over my choked tears.

"Dad.." Carl whispered painfully, tears glistened in his bruised eye as the then looked at me. "It's alright. It's gotta be."

I swallowed painfully, taking in a short breath. It was like the life was already being taken from him in front of me. "I wasn't sure if you'd make it back before.." He trailed off and pulled out a stack of papers out of his back pocket. "I wanted to make sure I was able to say goodbye."

The painful acknowledgement of him accepting his own fate truly broke me. An awful sob erupted, I put my hands over my mouth and started to cry again. Rick's own hand was trembling too and his arm on my shoulder did no justice to try and comfort me.

He handed the letters over to me, and I took them in my shaky hands. He continued to hold by frail hand.

"I was bringing someone back. His names Siddiq. We saw him at that gas station before. It wasn't the Saviours. It just happened."

"Carl.." I rubbed his hand.

"I got bit." He stated again.

"No!"

My body was feeling cold even though the warmth above and around us crowded. It like all the blood has finally frozen and reached my heart, just waiting to finally shatter. The grief hit, again, and again, and again until it cracked.

My eyes were blurry as I looked up, the lantern reflected my tears and did the same with him as he looked at me.

"I, um, I got these." Siddiq spoke and held out some pills. "They're over-the counter, non-steroidal anti-inflammatories. They'll, um...They'll help a little with the fever. They did for my mom and dad. Please take them. Your son... he should have them."

"You're a doctor?" Rick asked.

"I was a resident...before." Siddiq replied. "Yeah."

"Your name's Siddiq?"

"Yes."

Rick turned back to Carl. "Did you know he was a doctor? Is that why you brought him back?"

"He wasn't gonna make it alone." Carl replied. "He needed us, that's why."

"He was the one at the gas station." Rick realised as everything washed over him.

Dust and debris scattered from the ceiling due to another explosion, Carl's body shook because of a coughing fit that made my heart clench and crack more.

"Get him water." Michonne demanded.

A bottle was passed to me and I passed it to Rick. He carefully lifted Carl's head and helped him take a few sips. Michonne marched over to Dwight and started to yell. Rosita tried to come up with a plan that involved us getting to Hilltop. But I couldn't help but think about that Carl isn't going to make it.

"You'll be okay." I glanced down to him.

"I'll see my mom again." He whispered. "And Shane, Dale, Beth.."

I fought back another sob that threatened to come out and I bit my bottom lip. "Yeah, you will."

"I'll tell them all you said hi." He said.

I laughed a breathless laugh. "You do that.."

Michonne came to sit by Carl, I decided to give them their space and I immediately promised to be back.

I made my way over to my dad, who had utter sympathy in his eyes. He held out one arm to my and I seeked comfort in his embrace.

I sobbed softly into his chest, wrapping my arms around his waist. I wished this all to be a bad dream, Judith aimlessly played with my hair.

"I'm gonna lose him dad.." I sobbed

He sighed, not knowing what to say. "I'm sorry.."

I wiped my eyes furiously. "We were suppose to live, together. Start a family. Be together."

He pulled me back into his arms as I cried again, heart wrenching sobs that came deep within my painful chest.

"Sounds like they're letting up." Dwight perked up quietly.

"Looks like you were right." Rosita said. "They're leaving."

"Maybe." Dad replied, walking over to Rick and handed over Judith. "Want me to go take a look?"

"Be careful." I placed a hand in his shoulder before he left. I knelt back down to Carl again.

"Do you remember, back at the camp in Atlanta.." Carl started. "And there was that lake.. we were playing with Sophia."

"Oh I know where this is going.." I said with a sad smile

"I tripped and fell over into the water..I accidentally pulled you in and we both got soaked." He let out a small laugh. "Sophia jumped in after us."

"Then we all had a water fight. I loved that day. You said you got 'distracted' by a cloud that looked like a bird" I thought back. "It was a butterfly."

He chuckled too. "It was a bird."

Dad returned back and Michonne's voice interrupted. "The Saviours are gone. We can get Carl there. Everyone there."

"Carl? No." Rick replied.

Michonne didn't understand. "Daryl can get one of the cars.."

"Carl won't make it." He cut himself off. "He can't leave here, I have to stay with him."

"Rick."

"He can't. I have to stay."

"We'll both stay." Michonne forced a nod.

"I will too." I choked out softly.

Carl objected. "No."

"Don't." I argued, my throat starting to tighten again. "Don't.."

"No.." He looked scared, sad, scared, sad. He shook his head weakly. "I don't want this.. to be your last memory of me. I don't want this to be the way you remember me.."

My chest grew tight. "Carl.."

"Please Lilia." He begged. "Take care of Judith." Despite his lacking health he still gave a last effort to plead his lasting wishes.

"I.."

In the distance, Judith tried to come closer and cried out when she was pulled away.

"I want to say goodbye."

Judith was allowed to come closer, the toddler sat down in his lap. My breath shuddered in pain.

He spoke softly her, even though she may not understand. He gave her his hat. "Maybe it'll help you too.."

"Before mom died, she told me that I was gonna beat this world." He cried. "I didn't. But you will."

The toddler whimpered. She wasn't laughing, giggling or babbling. She was crying for him as she reached but was pulled back.

"I know you will."

I moved next to Carl. Without saying another he leaned into my embrace and shut his eyes. I put my arms tightly around his fragile body.

I adjusting his damp hair away from his face and kissed his forehead. "I love you so much."

"I love you too..lils." He looked up at me. "Look after Judith for me..please. Be the big sister she's deserves."

"Of course." I nodded.

"And also.." I leaned forward to hear what he wanted to tell me. "I still think Carl Junior is a great name." I chuckled quietly.

"I'll keep that in mind.." I ran my fingers through his hair, looking into his eyes, I pressed my lips against his despite how many others were around us. I then felt a hand on my shoulder, it was my dad.

"Be nice to him, it wasn't anyone's fault." Carl finally said, talking about Siddiq.

I gave him one last hug, one last kiss I'll remember for a lifetime. I stood up carefully and gently let him down.

More tears welled up in my eyes as he got further and further away.

"Go.." He whispered.

"Goodnight Carl.." My voice broke. "I love you."

"I love you too, so much." His voice cracked, tears glossing his eyes and ran down his face. "I'll watch over you."

I weakly smiled and went up the ladder with my dad, and saw Siddiq waiting.

I went up to home wordlessly and held out a hand. "You're stuck with us."

He nodded hesitantly and reached out for my hand and took it.

But despite how many people we were stuck with.

The boy who has always stuck with me is now gone.

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

goodbye I'm crying

chapter 2.6: 👁️👄👁️