— kim saram's pov

did you know? how relief i was when i finally got to see you, sitting there alone, staring blankly at the sea?

i was glad, i found you. yet your eyes broke me. they didn't show any emotions, but i know how much pain did you hide behind those beautiful round eyes that i adore so much since i first met you.

i approached you, hoping you to feel happy to see me. but you weren't.

instead, you were angry. you were upset to see me. i wonder why.

dongkyung, when i asked you if i could hold your hand, it's because i know that that will probably be the last time we could hold hands. i wanted to feel the warm of your grip for one last time.

but you pushed my hand away harshly. you refused to touch me.

i know you didn't mean that, but it still hurt me.

i looked at you. and at that moment, i thought, how could there be such a beautiful person like you in this world? how are you even real?

i am so lucky to be loved by you, and to love you.

dongkyung, did you know, i was actually 'dying' at that time?

not that kind of 'dying'. not like how you were 'dying'.

i didn't have any illness like you, but yes, i'm 'dying'.

because i'm going to disappear soon. very very soon.

i made a contract with someone, that you shouldn't know who. they said they could let you live, but the price?

my life.

of course, i don't mind giving my life to you. but i was downhearted thinking how broken you will be when i am gone.

don't worry dongkyung-ah. i am gone for good. i am gone for you anyway. what else could be better than that.

though still, i wish we could be together. forever.

dongkyung, when you said those harsh words, and when you said you regret loving and meeting me, i was hurt. i was really hurt, not gonna lie.

again, i know you didn't mean all that. but i still wonder, if there are even a tiny bit of the regret.

i thought, maybe there are. after all, i am the doom. i am the reason for your miserableness.

it's okay though. i am not upset or mad with you. i know you were right.

dongkyung, promise me you'll live a happy life for a long time. promise me you will keep smiling. even without me by your side. you're a human, you can be happy again. i believe that.

next time, i will make sure that i will reincarnate as a human. so we can hold hands, kiss, hug, date and get married. we can do everything that we want. we can be together. until our last breath.

i will wait for that moment to come.

because i'm still here.

- END -