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Michael thought his mother had finally lost it for good. She had just introduced Anna Bernard ― the ward of Lady Imogen Bernard ― as Sallyanna. As his little sister who had died years ago. It made no sense, and neither did the fact that out of all the people in the world, it was Isiah who had initiated this whole sorrowful event.

He hasn't seen his sister since they were young children and Michael could barely remember Sallyanna. Sometimes if he really tired to remember or picture his sister, he could see a little girl with big brown eyes. That's all.

So Michael stared at his mother, feeling mixed emotions of anger and sadness. He was angry because he didn't want to be fooled. But he was also sad, thinking that once this charade was over, his mother will slumber into despair over false news.  

"You can't be serious mother," said Michael while pouring himself a glass of whiskey. 

"Michael please," sighed Polly. "Try to understand." 

Michael shook his head. "No I can't. Because she's dead, mum."

"Don't say that," Polly said, her voice suddenly much stronger. "Don't you ever say that again."

"I-I do not wish her to be dead. But do you honestly think that after all these years, she's alive? Not just alive but here?" Michael wondered. 

"You came back," Polly reminded her son. "In case you've forgotten."

Michael ran his hands against his face, trying to come up with the gentlest way to break his mother's dreams and hopes.

"I did but I was never stated as dead. But she is mum. I know you want her to come back but there're just some things that we cannot change," Michael tried to reason Polly.

"You've seen her. She's Sally," Polly insisted. 

"I couldn't be sure. You didn't think so until Isiah decided to pull the fucking trigger of the past," huffed Michael. "

Polly sighed heavily. "Don't blame your friend. He did the right thing. Michael, I know all of this is insane and I didn't just believe it because I wanted to but because there's evidence. Everything makes sense. They're the same age, have the same life story. Anna got sick with Spring Fever, the same illness which supposedly killed Sally."

No matter how hard Michael tried to ignore it, he could see the sense in all this. But people weren't stated dead for nothing. Those kind of mistakes could not be made.

"She's my daughter. I know it, Michael. I know it in my bones," said Polly, her voice shaky again. "I just know it."

Michael wanted to argue some more but the look his mother held made him to stop. He didn't know was this Anna Bernard really his sister but his mother seemed to believe so ― and who was Michael to crush her dreams.

"Fine," he said, giving up the fight. "If you say she's Sally, then so be it."

"Michael..." said Polly, walking over to her son.

The young man who did not inherit anything from his mother except for his stubborn behavior, tried to avoid his mother's piercing gaze. She didn't look at him with disappointment as he had thought ― he knew Polly wasn't happy abut his reaction to Sally's sudden appearance. 

Polly looked at him like the world was right once again ― she had both of her children with her. 

"I will behave if you're worried of that. I won't call her an imposter," Michael promised. 

"She's not an imposter," sighed Polly. "I want her to feel at home here, so you are going to act as a brother should. You two were so close as young children. You adored Sally, always saying how you will protect her no matter what and..."

Michael shook his head. "Don't try to guilt me."

"I am not trying to guilt you, Michael," said Polly.

"Good," Michael huffed.

Anna was upstairs, trying her very best not to listen Polly and Michael's conversation. But she did hear Michael arguing, denying that Anna was Sallyanna. She could hardly blame him ― he was definitely more rational than Polly. 

The young brunette sat on her bed, hoping that she did not just ruin Michael's relationship with his mother, their mother. Anna still had hard time believing any of this was real. She thought that perhaps at some point she will wake up from London, in her room at Imogen's. If she was being honest, she wouldn't mind this. At least then everything would be as it was. 

She liked Polly so far and knew that this was for the best. To get to know her mother again. Anna didn't have any memory of her and the thought of that was painful, especially now that Anna was with Polly. The older woman had all these memories which she liked to share with Anna while Anna could only nod and pretend that she remembers at least something. 

"Anna?" 

Polly was standing by the door.

Her soft smile started to disappear the longer she looked at her daughter, noticing the tears on Anna's face.

"What's the matter?" Polly asked and took several steps towards Anna. 

She wanted to hug the girl, comfort her immediately but restrained herself from doing so. There was still a void between the mother and daughter ―  a void that has emerged there over the years they've been apart.

Anna didn't know why she has tears on her cheek and why the continued to fall down from her brown eyes. 

"I-I don't know," sniffed Anna.

Polly didn't quite believe her daughter.

"Anna..." sighed Polly, nervously fidgeting her fingers as she didn't know what she should do or say.

"It's fine. I'm just overwhelmed, that's all. There's no need to worry or anything," said Anna as she wiped her tears away.

She could tell Polly was feeling uncertain of what to do or say. Anna knew she should've said something to Polly, tell her that there was no shame for not knowing what to do ― Anna didn't know what to do either. But she didn't.

For some reason Anna wanted to keep her distance still. She wondered, and worried, that what if everything she heard Michael say was true. She didn't want to get too close to Polly or anyone else, just in case. And she didn't have to because she still has Imogen.

Oh how she missed Imogen and her ridiculous etiquette classes. 

"He didn't mean it," said Polly, wondering did Anna hear Michael.

Anna scrunched her nose. "I think he did. And I understand him."

Polly blinked. "Wh-what do you mean by that?" 

"I mean that if someone would come to me and tell that my dead relative was actually alive, I would question it," Anna explained quietly, trying to avoid Polly's gaze.

"And you think I should question it too?" Polly asked although her question was more like a statement. 

Anna didn't say anything to this but the silence she held was enough for Polly to realize what Anna was thinking. She walked further into the room and sat next to the young brunette who still avoided her gaze like it might burn.

"So you think I'm crazy for believing that you're my daughter," sighed Polly, folding her hands on her lap. 

Anna remained silent.

"I don't believe it because I want to, because I want Sally back. I believe it 'cause I know it..."

"But you can't!" Anna cried and jumped up from the bed. 

She didn't mean to sound so angry and irritated but she was upset, and confused. A flash of light traveled right before Anna's eyes ― like everything was happening inside her head. 

The flash of light happened to be a small glimpse of a memory. 

A memory of Anna, around the age of six, beaten by a cane by a hand of a father. A father who was no blood of hers but called himself a father, a name appointed to him by God. The father was tall and had long face. His eyes were as grey as a stormy sea and there was no color on his face. 

Anna gasped for air, the memory felt so livid and real. She could almost feel the pain on her back caused by the father and cane. 

With her eyes searching for a safe haven, Anna saw Polly once again and though she perhaps should had gone to her, her mother, she did not. Anna ran past Polly, reaching a window of her room.

With shaky hands Anna opened one of the windows. She nearly shoved her head out to feel the cold air against her face, reminding her that she was not there where she had been just moments ago in her mind, but was safe.

She believed she was safe. 

She hoped she was.

"Anna!" Polly gasped as for a moment, she wondered was the girl going to jump from the window.

"I can't breathe," whispered Anna.

Her every attempt to breathe was shallow. She could feel the air filling her lungs but it didn't help, it was like the air was imaginary or something equally empty. 

Anna grabbed the windowsill with her hand and grasped it hard like she was trying to break the damn thing. She mumbled words of comfort to herself but none of them seemed to work.

The fear of actually not being Sallyanna Gray grew within in Anna. It was the worst possible thing, and not just because she would no longer have a biological family she could go to but because it would break Polly.

Anna's become to care about Polly although she has very hard time showing it.

Just like the time Anna had woken up after Grace's death, Polly was there trying to calm Anna. But any attempt Polly made were for nothing as Anna could not think straight let along breath. 

"Please breathe," Polly practically begged her daughter. "You're turning all white."

Anna shook her head.

"Anna you need to breathe," repeated Polly, her voice now much sterner than before. She was not asking anymore but commanding Anna to breath. 

It wasn't that Anna didn't try. She did, and a lot but for some reason she just couldn't  breathe in.

"Sallyanna Elizabeth Gray! You breathe now or I swear to God..." now it was Polly who started to panic, any sternness in her was now gone and worry took over.

While there were many things Anna couldn't remember, the feeling of fear was something she could never forget. The fear she felt when death came to knock on her door years ago when she had been a child. That feeling was never going to leave her, as she could feel it so vividly now again. 

In Anna's mind, longs, skinny, fog-like arms came towards her. When they touched Anna's shoulders, she could feel coldness reach her body, making her shiver. Polly's voice was now just a whisper in a loud crowd ― Anna could barely hear it. She couldn't hear anyone telling her to breath and so she stopped.

She really stopped.

And not just for a second or two but for more, until her vision started to spin around due the lack of oxygen. 

"Anna!" 

Suddenly the image of fog-like arms on her shoulders was gone and when Anna finally breathed again, she saw her mother's arms taken the place of the fog creature's. 

"Christ..." sighed Polly when she could hear Anna's breathing getting stronger and steadier.

Anna was still visibly shaking. Her teeth clattered together every second like seconds on a clock. She avoided Polly's gaze although which wasn't easy as the woman was so close to her, hands still on her shoulders. 

Not sure what had caused her moment of panic, Anna lifted her hands to bury her face there. She suddenly let out a violent sob like someone had killed a person close to her without a warning. 

She knew what had caused her panic. It had been the memory of this father but not just that. The thought of actually being some stranger to Polly Gray was too much for her to bear. That perhaps Anna was after all just a girl whose mother was not the one sitting in front of her. 

Anna wanted to go back to London. Back to Imogen because she knew Imogen was not family. Not blood at least and she would never have to doubt Imogen's love since she had chosen to be Anna's family. She had chosen to take Anna in.

But Polly hadn't done this.

The woman wanted her daughter and if Anna wasn't that girl, maybe she would be casted aside like yesterday's paper. 

"Anna dear," said Polly, taking Anna's hands and moving them from her tear stained face. 

"Please don't..." whispered Anna, keeping her eyes closed.

Polly placed one hand on Anna's cheek, caressing it with her thumb.

"Are you afraid that what Michael thinks is the truth?" Asked Polly and though she didn't want to hurt or make Anna any more uncomfortable, she had no choice than to ask the obvious. 

Taking a deep breath in, Anna opened her eyes and nodded. 

"How can you not?" She asked, her voice barely audible. "And don't tell me it's because of the birth mark, or the eyes. Or the hair. Or that you just know because I'm  going to need some real, hard proof. I don't want you to get hurt if I'm not Sallyanna."

"Oh you sweet child," sighed Polly, her hand still on Anna's cheek. "I just know it. It might not be good enough of an answer to you but I just do know it. I would be stupid not to see that little girl you once were in you."

"You didn't know it at first," Anna reminded of the times she had seen Polly. 

Polly swallowed. "I know. But as I've told you once before and I will keep telling you a hundred time and more if I have to, I didn't suspect anything because I thought you were gone for good."

"Maybe she is. Maybe Sallyanna is really dead and they were just my records that were incorrect. Anna's. Not Sallyanna's," said Anna.

It looked as if Anna was trying her best to make Polly doubt her daughter's identity. But Polly's mind was adamant, and not just so she wouldn't have to face a disappointment and heartbreak. She knew this shaking, unsure young woman was her daughter. 

"Then why would your life and Sallyanna's be so much like. Stafford, stationmaster, Australia, Spring Fever..." Polly listed the things Anna's been through. "It just makes sense. And call me mental or worse but I believe there was reason why you out of all the people, came to Thomas' wedding. You said yourself you weren't close with Grace when you came to the wedding. You've told me Imogen wasn't close with Grace either."

"So why did you show up to some stranger's wedding if not to be found? If not to come home to me?" 

Anna said nothing to this but threw her arms around Polly's shoulders and wept there until her eyes hurt too much and she fell asleep.

anna has bad anxiety :), girl's like me

so i'm quite busy with balancing school hours + all the school work i have to do on my free time and my job so updating might take awhile. but i will try to post once a week but i can't make any promises right now .

i want to give you good and well thought out chapters so i don't want to rush <3