𝙻𝚊𝚍𝚊'𝚜 𝙿𝙾𝚅

It was years ago that our ancestor, Ymir Fritz, made a pact with the Devil of all Earth and obtained the power of the Titans.

After Ymir's death, her soul split into the Ten Titans, who then built the Eldian Empire.

They went on to destroy the country of Marley so that they could rule over this land.

What followed was an age of darkness. The Subjects of Ymir viewed other races as inferior and persecuted them.

They seized land and property, and forced other races to bear their children to increase their own numbers.

They perpetuated this ethnic cleansing for 1700 years, I believe. I'm not sure, actually.

But the Marleyan people conspired against the Eldian nation from within and gained control of eight of the Ten Titans.

The Marleyans emerged victorious in the Great Titan War years ago. The Eldian King then retreated to Paradis Island and constructed three walls, choosing to hide within them with his people.

Our ancestors were abandoned in this land, but the Marleyans chose not to kill us and instead, they chose to wrap us, Eldians, around their fingers.

"It is our duty as good Eldians to extinguish the bad Eldians on Paradis Island!"

Everyday, I heard those words. That's what Zeke always reminded me to do. And yet, I had always been curious about the, 'bad Eldians', they speak of.

Apparently, Marley cannot afford to overlook the huge reserves of fossil fuels beneath Paradis Island.

However, when the king retreated to the island more than 80 years ago, he left a message for everyone.

"Should anyone dare to disturb us, I will release the tens of millions of Titans within the walls and unleash their destructive power upon the world."

As long as this threat is in effect, they can't simply march an army up to the walls. You'd basically be digging your own grave.

But what if?

"Are the Eldians in Paradis Island...really devils?" I mumbled to myself as Zeke approached me.

"Lada, if we don't focus on training, they're gonna pass the Soaring Titan to another Warrior." Zeke warned.

"Yeah, yeah, keep talking to me and they're gonna pass the Beast Titan to another Warrior." I snapped back before leaving him.

"Now I see why others call you the, 'Ice Queen'. You're as cold as ever." Zeke commented, chuckling a little.

"Shut up for once." I rolled my eyes before making my way out of the place we were training in.

"Oh, are you planning on skipping today as well? Let's go out and get some ice cream then!" Zeke suggested, catching up to me.

"Don't follow me...or you'll get in trouble." I threatened. He seemed unaffected by it, since he just continued to follow.

"Playing as the cool-headed queen, huh? I see how it is. Either way, I'm still following you." he stubbornly said.

"I'm serious, Zeke. If you don't want to get caught, it's best if you leave right now before you get caught with me." I warned.

"Huh? What do you mean? What are you planning to do? We all know you're still suffering the consequences of inheriting the Soaring Titan." he reminded.

"If you're planning on eradicating the Eldians in Paradis Island, don't even think about it. You can't even transform. You still have a week until you can actually use your Titan." he recalled.

"Hey! What are you two Eldians doing all the way out here?!" one of the Marleyan soldiers yelled, grabbing onto my arm.

"Sorry, I lied to you, Zeke. I'm sick and tired of teaming up with the Marleyans." I told him, using a hidden blade to slice my arm.

Streaks of lightning flashed in the sky, alerting everyone that a Titan had transformed.

Escape!

Was all I thought about. I couldn't help but wonder...are the Eldians out there really bad?

I flapped my wings and began to hover over the ground. I flew out of there and started making my way to Paradis Island.

This went on for at least a month. I couldn't remember much about that place anymore.

I noticed that my Titan form is slowly descending to the ground. Did I use too much of its power?

Quickly landing my Titan on the ground, I got out of it and decided to take a break before continuing my journey.

This all started because of my parents' wishes. They wanted me to become a warrior for the Marleyans.

The Marley Government was recruiting children from among Subjects of Ymir to inherit the powers of the eight Titans.

When my parents heard about this, my mother was overjoyed and wanted me to enlist as a Warrior to inherit her Titan, the Soaring Titan.

"Do it for us, Lada. Inherit the Titan and fight for Marley, so that we don't have to suffer." my father would often beg me.

"Don't be like that, darling. Lada is free to do whatever she wants. Either to fight for Marley or to betray them and fight for our race." my mother argued.

I've never seen my mother's eyes. She always kept them closed. Although it was closed, it's as if she was able to see without needing her eyes.

But there was one time where I saw it. It was terrifying. When I confronted her about it, she replied nonchalantly.

"It's one of the conditions of inheriting the Soaring Titan. You must be deeply in love with someone in order to reach its full potentials." my mother said as she knitted a scarf.

"One of the conditions? Deeply in love with someone to reach its full potential?" I repeated, staring at my mother, confused.

"Yes. You see, the Soaring Titan represents Ymir Fritz's emotions and her needs, to love and to be loved. I fell deeply in love with your father. Because of that, I am able to use my wings to fly." she put down her knitting materials.

"But if you don't love that person entirely, you won't be able to use your wings. Your ability will be limited to one hour a day until it needs to rest." my mother continued.

"What happens if the person you love doesn't love you back or doesn't see you the same you way you see them?" I questioned.

"Then it would be impossible to use your wings. You won't be able to soar through the sky." she answered.

"That's why...when you inherit the Soaring Titan, we will arrange a marriage for you." my mother stood up from her chair and approached my small figure.

"Your father went to fetch the boy you will be marrying." she informed as she bent down and placed her hand on top of my head.

"The boy's here." my father opened the door. My mother stood up with a smile. It was a genuine smile.

"Y/n, meet your future husband. He will be the one to help you reach your Titan's full potential." she gestured to the doorway that led to the living room, where my mother and I were.

"Introduce yourself." my father ushered. A boy about my age stepped out from behind my father's figure.

"Zeke Jaeger. Pleasure to meet you." he mumbled. He didn't seem to like the idea of an arranged marriage as well. He must've been forced like me.

"My name is Lada...Voland. Nice to meet you too." I mumbled.

Is this what true love's like?

If true love was really like this, then why do couples still break up?

Why do married couples get a divorce?

Is forcing your children into marriage supposed to give them the love and happiness they need for the future?

If life was like that, then this world would've been a peaceful place to begin with.

But...why isn't our world like that?

After years of hanging out with Zeke and getting to know him, I have realized that he was a nice guy and I did find him attractive in a way.

Zeke had already told me he loved me several times, but...I still never had the eyes of my mother. Her eyes truly showed her deep love for my father.

They had a fight one day before I had devoured my mother to obtain the power of the Soaring Titan.

I was only 17 when I inherited my mother's Titan. Zeke inherited his when he was 17 as well.

We both inherited our Titans at the same time. Meaning, Zeke and I were of the same age.

Their fight was about my future with Zeke. My mother wanted me to find another man that I might actually love.

My father wanted to force me to fall in love with Zeke. He said that if I were to be by Zeke's side for just a little longer, there might be a chance that I'd fall for him.

My mother was the type to avoid conflict. Worse, she was still helplessly devoted to my father, meaning she let him win the argument.

My father then forced us into marriage. We were supposed to get married once I turned 20. Meaning, Zeke would be also be 20 by then.

The day I turn 22 is the day I will gain full control of my Titan. In other words, I won't have to suffer the consequences of inheriting it.

Oh, the consequences, you may ask? That includes bruising on the back because of your body forming the wings, getting tired because your body is internally healing from the constant bruising, being heartless to form some kind of hardening in your heart so that you won't have to take the syringe for it.

The day I turned 18, I left that place. Zeke was 19, since he had his birthday before mine.

I didn't wanna marry a man that I don't even love. And because I only liked him a little bit, I was able to fly for only 1 hour a day.

I should've gotten to Paradis Island in only a day, if I had feelings for Zeke, that is. I really do feel bad, though.

Maybe I shouldn't have made this decision.

Maybe I should've stayed and become a warrior.

Maybe I should've listened to Zeke.

Everyone who inherits one of the Ten Titans dies thirteen years later on. That's the curse of Ymir Fritz.

For the Soaring Titan, this curse only applies if the person had already transformed for the first time.

I'm 18. In other words, I only have 13 years to live. I'm sure 13 years will pass by like it's nothing.

I'll have to pass my power to someone before I turn 31, or else this power will be transferred to a random Eldian.

༛༛ ༛ ༛༺༻༛ ༛ ༛༛

"What are you doing here? How did you get past the wall?" I heard. I looked up to see man on a horse.

"What are you doing on this side of the wall?" I stared back at the man in horror. People of the Paradis Island...the devils.

Oh gosh, what if they were right?

What if they really are devils?

Why did I think escaping my shell would do me good?

They're gonna-

"Hop on. I'll bring you back to the walls." he ushered, patting the empty spot behind him. He ignored my question.

I obliged and sat down on the horse behind him. When he offered his hand for me to grab, I felt weird.

My heart was pounding like crazy. My head was fuzzy and I couldn't think straight. Yet, the feeling was...nice.

"I'm Erwin Smith. What's your name and how did you get outside of the walls?" he spoke.

"I don't remember what happened before I got here and I don't recall anything from my past. All I know is that my name is Lada Voland and I am a warrior." I answered, it was the truth.

"A warrior? What do you mean by that?" he questioned. I shrugged and the whole ride, back to wherever he was taking me, was silent.

Right from the start, Erwin seemed a little different from the other men that I have met in my life.

I liked him at first sight on that day. Every single time I saw him, I fell more and more in love with him.

Erwin had a commanding presence. His blond hair kept neatly parted on the left side.

I admired the man. He offered me a place to stay if I served the Survey Corps. I didn't mind it.

If I get to see more of his commanding presence and see him lead his soldiers, I wouldn't mind fighting until I die.

Erwin always wore a calm, collected expression on his face. His icy blue eyes being one of his most appealing features.

His eyebrows were also very noticeable to many, being very thick and bushy.

It was quite amazing how thick it was. How did he even get his eyebrows so thick in the first place?

Levi, one of the people I got along with very well, would often mock Erwin and call him names because of it.

I served the Survey Corps as a soldier of humanity, fighting the Titans and building bases when we go on expeditions while trying to learn more about the Titans.

I completely forgot the reason as to why I was even outside the walls. I don't even recall a thing about my life before I got here.

"I'd like to tell you a story from my childhood. Do you mind listening?" Erwin requested. I shook my head, not minding it.

"My father was a teacher and I attended his history lectures." he started and began to ramble on.

"Let's find the truth about the Titans together." he said, placing his hand over my own and staring into my eyes.

If I had a tail like a dog's, I'm sure it'd be wagging back and forth right now, since I'd be unable to hide my happiness.

I was sort of relieved and thought to myself how lucky I was not to have been born as a dog.

"Of co-" I was cut off when I nearly fell as I couldn't feel my legs.

"Lada, are you doing well? You seem tired lately." Erwin pointed out, gently shaking my body after he caught it.

"I'm sorry. It's been a while since I've felt at peace. Not a lot has happened, and yet, I'm always tired." I mentioned.

"I agree. I say you should take this chance to rest. We could even roam around town if you'd like." he suggested.

"That sounds amazing. I've been meaning to buy a few things for Y/n, but I never got the chance to do so." I agreed with his suggestion.

"Y/n? Who's that? Did you give birth to a child?" he questioned in surprise. I chuckled at this.

"No, no. I found her on the streets. She was nearly dead when I found her. I took her in as my little sister." I elaborated.

"Hey, you two lovebirds, head inside." Levi called out to the two of us before we could even continue our conversation.

"It's not like that, Levi." I retorted, standing up and offering a hand for Erwin to grab.

"Sure." Levi stared at me in disbelief. Erwin accepted the offer and grabbed onto my hand as I pulled him up.

I was so stupid back then to think that my life would be complete if I continued to stay by Erwin's side for the rest of my life.

I couldn't help it. Being with him made me happy. Standing by his side allowed me to admire him.

If I were given the chance to feel what true love really felt, I would like to feel it over and over again.

Who knew that love would be so scary?

Who knew experiencing true love everyday would be a painful ride?

Yet every time I saw him, I'm filled with such happiness that I'm at a loss for what to do.

༛༛ ༛ ༛༺༻༛ ༛ ༛༛

Eventually, I got sick. Bruises began to appear on my back and I was gettimg worse each day that passes.

It wasn't sickness, nor was it a disease. It was the conditions I had to suffer when I inherited the Soaring Titan.

It's been at least two years since I've come here from outside the walls. I still don't know much.

The only thing I can recall is the Titan I inherited. It's been almost 3 years since I had inherited it now.

Because of this, Erwin instructed me to stay at home for the next expedition until I got better.

I was allowed to stay and join meetings, but I was ordered to avoid engaging in combat with the Titans.

"Dedicate your hearts!" Erwin yelled. We did as we were told and saluted back. Erwin gave me a glance before looking away.

"Doesn't he look so cool, Levi? He's amazing..." I whispered over to him.

"Lada, I wanna question you after this." he said.

After the ceremony, the two of us walked away together. It seemed like he didn't want others to hear what he had to say to me.

"Why's Erwin so important to you? Yeah, he found you outside the walls and kept it a secret, but...why were you willing to risk your life back there?" Levi asked.

Oh, he must be referring to our recent expedition.

"Because without Commander Erwin, this life of mine would be meaningless to me." I replied, leaning against a wall.

He just stood there in silence, looking down at the ground.

Oh, did my answer not satisfy him?

Did I say something wrong?

"Do you realize how stupid you sound?!" he yelled, slamming his hands next to my head to trap me. A wall slam?

"My, my." I sighed in reply.

"Are you seriously that pathetic to entrust your life to a single man?" he scoffed.

"It seems that I am." I looked at him in the eyes, crossing my arms.

I never would've thought that, the expedition I just went on, would be my very last trip outside.

༛༛ ༛ ༛༺༻༛ ༛ ༛༛

"Lada!" someone sang from behind. I swiftly moved to the right and saw Hanji lying on the ground, face flat. She was planning to hug me, whoops.

"What is it, Hanji?" I asked, lending her a hand. She cackled mischievously as she grabbbed onto it.

"I was wondering...on the next expedition, would you be so kind as to help me capture a titan or two? Especially an abnormal one?" she requested, holding my hand.

"I mean...I don't mind and I would love to, but Erwin said I can't join the next expedition." I reminded.

"Eh? Why is that? That sucks! You're the only person who would actually help me!" she dramatically cried into my chest.

"You know about the bruises I've been getting, right? I might turn into Titan food if I go anyways." I chuckled.

"Also, I don't want you guys having trouble dealing with my corpse." I added.

"Isn't that just sweet? Erwin is paying so much attention to you and is making sure you don't get k-" I covered her mouth.

"Others might hear you because of that loud mouth of yours. Kindly tone it down." my hand trembled in embarrassment.

"What was that about me?" I heard from behind me. I hesitantly turned around to be met with Erwin. I quickly put my hand down.

"Lada said that she lo-" Hanji was once again cut off when I covered her mouth, making her words muffled.

"N-Nothing that may concern you, Erwin. We were just talking about your next plan." I nervously answered.

"Okay. Please make sure to rest, Lada. I wouldn't want another soldier to go down, especially you." he said before walking away.

"Man...he really cares about you!" she squealed, escaping my grasp. I quickly hushed her before anyone else could hear.

"Fine, fine. So, when are you planning to tell him?" she questioned as we began to make our way to the mess hall.

"Tell him about what? The bruises or something?" I guessed, turning to her in confusion. She playfully rolled her eyes.

"No! When are you going to tell him how you feel? You can't just keep it in forever you know!" she reminded.

"I'm not gonna. Because we're in a messed up world, thinking about confessing your love to someone would feel wrong." I shook my head, disagreeing with her suggestion.

"That's why you should do it. Because of this messed up world we live in, you should confess your love...before it's too late." she argued.

What she said made me speechless. I should, shouldn't I? I only have 10 years to live or maybe even less.

I only have that short amount of time to spend with Y/n, Erwin, Levi, Hanji, and the rest. With only that little time, I should try it.

If I get rejected, that's fine. If I get ignored, that's fine. If he doesn't even acknowledge me, that's fine...

All that matters is that I tell him how I truly feel