chapter 17
(oh)

the kiss was sweet and meaningful and chris wanted it to last forever, even despite the taste of alcohol on her lips that he hated the taste of. somehow she made it taste nice, or maybe it's just the fact that it's her. when dejah pulled away she opened her eyes to be met with chris' as he plants one last small kiss on her lips once more before smiling. "so is that a yes? you're gonna reconsider?" he laughs, taking a closer look at dejahs face. she seemed confused. "what's wrong?" he asks, instantly growing sad.

dejah struggles to get her words out, "i-i think that was a mistake" she says, beginning to stand up when chris grabs her hand pulling her back down.

"no. don't do this to me." he says angrily. "you don't get to just kiss me and make me think we could be something just for you to leave and say it was a mistake."

dejah licks her lips and furrows her eyebrows, "how could you be so selfish! my whole life you have made me think we could be something just for you to leave, so don't try and say that it's wrong. it was a mistake. everyone makes those." she shouts, yanking her hand away from chris' "especially you." she says before standing up and walking outside.

chris huffs and stands up too, "where are you going?"

"getting some air."

chris looks over to his right to see matt running down the stairs, "we're leaving" he says quickly, heading for the door. chris doesn't even have time to process the last 5 minutes that had just happened so he stands there in shock before nick finally snaps him back in reality.

"cmon, let's go" says nick, tapping chris on the shoulder. the pair run outside and head straight to the car where they all sit in silence. the only thing being heard is the loud music blasting muffled tunes from inside the house. chris looks out of his window to see dejah standing there, stressed. chris wants to yank open his car door and run up to her and hug her, but he knew he couldn't. she had made her decision. she had decided that she didn't want him and chris just had to accept that loss. he felt like shit, and he didn't want to accept it. but he needed too.

matt begins to drive away, catching dejah's attention. she could see the car speeding off and chris making a full turn in his seat to watch dejah while he drives away. "what's.. going on right now." he finally speaks, looking at matt who's driving with watery eyes.

he focuses his eyes on chris for a split second before wiping his tears, "nothing. it's nothing. i just.. needed to get out of there."

chris shakes his head, he knew something was off and he definitely knew matt was lying. he didn't really ask any further questions as he knew he wouldn't get an answer anyways so he thought it was best to leave him be. "and you?" he asks, turning around in his chair to see nick giggling in the back of the car on tiktok.

he pauses his video and looks up to chris, "oh. nothing, matt just told me to get in the car so i did. kinda sad actually i was having fun" he sighs, returning back to his tiktok video.

chris is back in silence once again. just the company of his own thoughts that he didn't really want to be left alone with. he didn't understand why dejah was so difficult with him and why one minute she likes him and the next minute she doesn't. he was starting to wonder if it was even worth all this hassle of her leading him on, but when he tried to imagine himself with any other girl, he simply couldn't.

dejah

dejah
hey

me
hi

dejah

can u call me when u get home? i've left the party too. nate came n picked me n liv up

me
why

dejah
bc i need to talk to u.

me
ok

he scanned his eyes over the text messages once more before shutting off his phone. he didn't really want to call her, now that he thinks about it. he knows it's just going to be her apologising to him for kissing him and that it was a just a big mistake, that's what he's expecting in all honesty. as soon as they pull into their driveway, chris is dreading going into the house as he knew he had to call dejah for whatever reason she wanted to call him for. matt and nick went straight to their rooms but chris stayed downstairs in the kitchen. his fingers trembling as he starts to call her phone. she picks up almost instantly. there was a few second of silence before dejah speaks up "hi"

chris swallows the lump that was in his throat before huffing out a simple "hey." it doesn't take long before dejah starts to cry. the muffled sounds of her sobbing quietly thought the microphone, sent a chill down chris' neck. he had no idea what was coming for him, "are you okay?"

dejah takes a breathe "no. not really. i'm just confused and i don't really know where i stand in all this. my heart wants to fall in love with you, it really does but there's always that voice in the back of my head telling me not too and it's driving me insane." she sobs, wiping a tear droplet that fell onto her phone. her heart was racing and she felt sick to her stomach. she couldn't tell if it was the alcohol she had that night or the feeling of confusion that she was feeling about her and chris.

chris sighs and takes a seat on his couch, resting his phone on his thigh. he unzips his jacket and runs a nervous hand through his hair "well, i can't keep playing these games with you dejah. i've always been right here and i've waited. i'm done waiting around for someone who can't make up their mind. when you kissed me at the party, i was so happy. i felt like you were finally starting to let yourself fall and then you just left? you have to understand where i'm coming from and why i'm a little bit lenient."

the sound of dejahs quiet sobs soon wore off as they sit there in silence for a few seconds. "i knew you were there for the me the minute jude layed hands on me. in fact, you were the only one warning me not to get with him." she says, realising how stupid she's been this whole time. it was almost like he had been there this whole time and she's only just realised. "oh my god. what am i doing?" she huffs. chris could hear her moving around on the other end of the phone, "i gotta go" she says, before ending the phone call abruptly not even letting chris say good bye either.

chris felt heart broken. she didn't even care about him as much as to give him a proper good bye or even an explanation really. he swallows the lump that was still in his throat before he rests his head back on the couch. he's so numb he can't even bare to get up or move. his heart sank to his stomach and he began to feel that light headed feeling again. he had wasted all this time trying to get with the girl that he's been loyal too and looked out for since day one.

the numb feeling now grew to his whole body as he breathes steadily, trying not to think of the worst. he thought for a minute that he could try again and just keep trying until she maybe changes her mind, but why keep trying when he knows she won't like him back.

crushed, chris was feeling a mix of emotions-disappointment, sadness and even a little bit embarrassed. he tried not to think about it too much, but it's hard not to when she's the only thing running through this mind. when he heard the door bell ring, he doesn't get up immediately as he's waiting for one of his brothers to get it. when he hears nobody coming down the stairs he forces himself to get up. he trudged his way to the door and when he opened it he was met with a familiar face. not another second went by before dejah reached up to cup chris' cheek, her thumbs brushing gently against his skin with a tenderness that spoke volumes. and then slowly, almost hesitantly, she leaned in, her lips hovering just inches from his, "i want you" she whispers. time stood still as those words exited her mouth. both of their hearts pounding in each others chests. and then, finally, their lips met in a gentle, tentative kiss that sent sparks flying through the air. it was a kiss filled with the innocence of youth, yet tinged with the promise of something deeper, something more profound. as they pulled away, their eyes locked once more, they knew it was for real this time and this was the beginning of a love story.

¹⁵⁶⁴ ʷᵒʳᵈˢ

maisie
💌

sorry this is lowk rushed but wtv 😝
anyways u guys will be happy w the next few chapters but i'm sorry i think u guys know how much i love writing angst 🙏🙏

ily ❤️