-HUMANITY-

THREE YEARS HAD PASSED, two more to go.

The sight of death was never something you feared. You've had your fair share of failed experiments or dead-on arrival patients, so at this point, a corpse to you was simply a limp, useless carcass— something that you didn't need to waste chakra on.

And it was mostly becuase some of the Kara members saw you as a miracle worker rather than a mere child, happily bringing in patients they wished for you to perform on regardless of how brutal or silly the request was. Most of the time they'd have the usual, unstable body conditions, but sometimes they'd bring disfigured bodies. People with arms torn off, legs decapitated, or even chins blown off— you wondered how that one even happened— but either way, the woman who laid lifeless on the operating bed didn't scare you.

Though, the thought of actually dissecting her did, very much actually.

"I believe it's time I taught you how to properly perform on a human body" Amado, who was slipping on some medical gloves, spoke. He stood by your side, handing you your own pair of safety equipment "Now that you've reached an appropriate age, it's safe to assume you're ready to help with more complicated experiments"

"Complicated...?" Did you hear that correctly? Complicated!? Is the work you do now not complicated enough? You watched with curious eyes as Amado selected one of the many tools on his operating rack. From scalpels to pulling clips, everything needed for a successful demonstration was supplied.

"Yes, you didn't think that you'd only heal people all day— did you?" Amado talked to you as if your life was so simple. No, you did not expect to do more 'complicated' operations, and that was because you already thought the operations you performed were complicated! Chakra balance is such a difficult skill to learn and he's basically spitting on your efforts!

You wanted to voice your concern but were distracted by Amado drawing out a thin scalpel. It glimmered in the dull light, and gently drew closer to the woman's exposed stomach. The tip looked sharp enough to cut through wood if used properly, and that alone made you swallow a pit of fear. You were uncomfortable— not with the sight of blood of course, but the idea that this would be a common occurrence. Was this you graduating from assistant to surgeon!?

"What I want you to pay attention to is the nerves and blood vessels you have to cut. Removing organs is a very complicated procedure" Amado took a final puff of his cigar that hung from his teeth and set it aside on the rack. You recoiled in disgust at the smell, but truly felt sick at what he said. You blurted out "Removing organs!? W-why do I have to learn that!? Cant I just heal people?"

You didn't want this, you didn't want to do this, you didn't want to see this. As much as you hated healing patients all day, you'd take it over performing surgery on people. That was the one thing you prided yourself on— that you weren't a sick monster who experimented on humans like them. But now they wanted you to swoop down to their level, have you become another Amado. And you hated Amado.

"As much as I hate to admit it, you've got a lot of potential, kid." Amado gently plunged the scalpel into the woman's stomach, completely unfazed as blood trickled from the wound. "Jigen wants you to become my apprentice, he believes you can help a lot with our experiments." He ran the blade down her belly, showering his experience with the scalpel "And in order for that to happen, you need to know the basics"

Amado connected the lines together. A large square was cut from the woman, serving as a man-made opening to her organs. You knew what was to come after, and you turned your head in disgust. The sound alone was enough of a triggering experience; oozing blood, sticky flesh, all of it being pried open. Actually seeing it held horrors of its own. But Amado wasn't happy with that, for he barked out "Look at what's happening!"

Amado almost never raised his voice at you, so to hear him so stern made you jump back a little. He was completely serious. "Jesus kid, you're able to heal grotesque wounds but a little organ harvesting is a turn-off?" The doctor shook his head "Its either your morals are unbalanced or you're spoilt."

Anger brewed in your chest. Just because you could stomach a few odd limbs missing, that didn't mean you wanted to dissect a human like a mere play-thing. You, unlike them, saw value in life and didn't see humans as things you could toy with.

You obviously couldn't say anything in response, you'd get your ass beat for retaliating. So you concentrated on not gagging as he pried the layer of protective skin off. It was like a block of solid fat, fat that oozed with blood. Small droplets trickled down his arms as he placed the skin on a separate operating rack. And with the thud of metal, you were able to see the inside walls of the woman's abdomen. Everything was dyed a sickly red; each crease and dip from her intestines and stomach was glossy with blood. An awful stench excreted from her, a stench you could only describe as rotten.

The smell alone made your eyes prickle with tears. It was revolting, and yet Amado resumed with his work, completely ignorant of the revolting smell and look. He was used to it by now, and you were terrified of that. In a few years, if you failed to escape, would you become exactly like him? So used to the smell and sight of human mutilation that the only speck of emotion present is anger towards others? You didn't want to become like him, even if Jigen did, so you tried to save your humanity through constantly telling yourself that this is wrong.

"In normal operations, we often harvest the heart of a subject, but because you're new to this, we'll start off with the stomach." He patted his bloodied glove down and handed you a pair of your own scalpels. You reluctantly took the tool, uncomfortable with what you were about to do with it.

"Watch closely, I won't repeat myself." Said Amado.

He began to push some extra body tissue out of the way and spared you a glance. "The stomach is easy to remove because there are only two tubes you need to sever." He pointed towards the top of the stomach, where the first tube was located "This is the oesophagus, that's where the food passes to enter your stomach." He then pointed towards the lower tube, where it trailed off to the lower regions of the body "This is the duodenum, where the food passes when it's digested"

You nodded slowly, already considering throwing up; the smell was getting unbearable. Amado, now making space for you to see clearer, resumed with his lecture "I want you to cut these two tubes and remove the stomach. Hopefully you'll get used to using a scalpel with this example."

Amado waited expectantly for you to move. He explained well enough, you knew what to do but you just couldn't do it. You stood there, mouth dry with worry. It looked so gross, so dehumanising. The warmth of her exposed organs made it clear that she was killed recently, and you found that to be even worse. She felt alive, but she looked dead. Why couldn't you just return to healing people?

"What are you waiting for? Go on, do it." Amado only made your situation worse. He was right about one thing, that you had seen worse patients. But whenever you saw the horrid experiments the Kara performed; the body mutilation, the disfigurement— you never had to actually touch them. All you had to do was hover your hands over them and summon your chakra. There was the odd time you'd have to lift an arm or shimmy closer, but never did you have to participate in actually harming these poor subjects. And that in itself, broke you.

You had to be the better person— you had to be.

——————————

THE HEART WAS LUKEWARM. It wasn't as cold as you thought it would be. It didn't have the childish shape every toddler would draw, and it wasn't as velvety red as everyone made it out to be. It was a deep, dirty crimson. The thick texture sunk in your hands like a warped version of jelly, and a rotten stench reeked from its atora tubes.

It was revolting.

"Good job, you're better at this than I thought" Amado spoke through a lit cigarette. He was cleaning up the medical tools; There were multiple layers of skin removed from the patient, and all of them were stacked onto a metal trey. He pushed them to the corner of the room with a trolley, and on top of them were the medical tools you had also used. He was unbothered with the end result, in fact, he looked pleased with your ability to learn fast. It saved him the trouble of punishing you for your mistakes.

You didn't acknowledge his compliment, and you didn't look at him either, for your gaze was locked firm onto the heart in your hands— the heart you severed. You looked... empty.

And that was because you realised the moment your scalpel cut those tubes, that you were no longer innocent. You weren't the victim in the situation anymore. You didn't have the moral high ground, you were just like them, you were a Kara member— no matter how many times you tried to deny it.

You had become a monster who toyed with human lives, just like him.