-Your POV-

Today was the day I was going to therapy, I didn't really want to go but I guess it'll help me.

I put some jeans and a short sleeve shirt over a long sleeve shirt, and went downstairs

"Hey, ready to go?" Finn asked. "Yeah, I guess" I sighed and put my shoes on.

Mom, Finn and I got into the car and drove off to the place.

I played with my sleeve and stare out the window, "You okay?" finn asked"Yeah" I replied.

As I got lost in thought, the car stopped and we were in front of the place.
"

We're here" Mom said. "yay"

We walked in and there was a lady standing there "Hi, you must be Ms.L/N and you must be y/n" she says

"Yes, that's us" mom says "And who's this?" She asked, referring to Finn"My boyfriend, I want him with me in the room" I said.

"I'm sorry but we can't do that only the patient and Therapist" she says, I look at Finn and back at the lady and shook my head no. "No, I want him there though, I can't talk to some rando about my life without him"

"love listen, don't worry you don't need me in there, you just say what you feel, it's only an hour okay? I'll be here once you're done" Finn says "But-" "But you will do good and feel better after" he says.

"okay, I guess I'm ready to go" I say "perfect follow me" the lady says, I say bye to Mom and Finn and follow the lady to a room

There was fidget toys on the table and cheesy quotes on the wall and a couch and chair.

There's was another woman in the room sitting down on the chair, the other lady left and I awkwardly sat down on the chair

"Hello my name is Rachel, you must be y/n" she says "yeah" I said.

"Okay before we start lets get to know you sound good?" She asks "Sure, uh I like to skate, I hate spiders, My favourite movie is y/f/m, I like tohangout with my friends, I love to cuddle and watch movies with my boyfriend, and I guess that's it" I say

"Okay well nice to meet you, now we're going to start, so tell me how your depression started" she says

"Do I really have to?" I ask "yes that's how a therapy session works if you need something to play around with you can grab a little toy" she says "Okay thanks" I say

⚠️t/w: I should've put this before but this part talks about abuse so if you're sensitive to that pls skip.

"So walk me through it" she says "Well um back home in New York I was um abused my father, physically, verbally, and mentally but it wasn't just me it was my mom and sister too" I say

"When did the abuse start?" Rachel asks "When I was eight. My dad got into drinking and he eventually couldn't stop drinking, he was always drunk and barely fed my sister and I, then he started hitting me and my sister but he hit me more" I explain.

"Okay, so when did it start getting worse?" She asks "when I was around 10, I was curious about sex and everything and I asked my mom about it and he overheard and got mad, he was drunk, as usual and told me I'm a whore for wondering about that and he slapped me.

Everyday got worse and worse, he told me almost everyday 'You're worthless' I eventually started to believe him because I had a hard time making friends at school. I would go to school with a bruise on my face and claim is was just an accident

Until one day a teacher started getting suspicious and called my parents, dad found out and got really mad and said I told the teacher, he yanked me by my hair and smacked the shit out of me

My mom and sister tried to stop him but he would hit them too, I didn't know what to do at the time so I just let it happen because if I refused I would be in serious pain" I say, I haven't talked about my dad so much before

I felt my eyes water, and grabbed a pillow and held onto it.

"Wow, okay so clearly this is childhood trauma, how did you feel in those traumatic moments?" She asks

"I don't know I guess I felt scared" I say "hm okay, continue" "I don't want else to say!" "it's okay just talk."

"Okay um as I grew older the abuse was more aggressive, he never came to my birthdays and never cared for me, he always repeated the same shitty things, I couldn't handle it anymore so I started cutting myself, I felt like that was the only way to numb the pain

I felt so alone, I had two friends at school and my mom and sister would barely come out of their rooms, I cried myself to sleep every night, I wanted to die that's all I tried to do but nothing worked.

I started having anxiety attacks from the yelling between my mom and dad, my sister would stay in my room, covering our ears trying to block out the yelling but it was too loud

My anxiety attacks became worse, even the slightest touch would make me jump, I would burst out crying when someone would accidentally hit me, it was bad

I would have nightmares and wake up crying, but my dad would come in and yell at me to shutup. That was just when I was 12, 13, and 14. When I went into high school I had stress on me and so much homework

I tried to focus on my homework but mom and dad would always, always yell at eachother, I got fed up and yelled at them both to shutup, my dad got really mad and threatened to beat me with my textbook

I continued to do self-harm and locked myself in my room, I stayed up until 4am from the yelling. I was exhausted everyday" I paused and tried my hardest to hold in my tears.

"I was late one day from a friends house and my dad yelled at me asking where I was and slapped me, I got the courage and stood up to him, I told him off

he slapped me causing me to fall on the floor and told me that he never wanted me to be born and my mom and sister never wanted me either

He was about to do something horrible but my mom knocked him out, she quickly packed our bags and we moved away, it was hard at first but we eventually left my father." I said.

By the end of it I was sobbing. "Y/n sweetie I know it's hard you clearly have a lot to share, but you need to open your feelings up a bit more because if you don't your trauma will just eat you up" Rachel said.

"Yeah, okay, um I felt like shit, my body always ached and I tried my best to hide my bruises but there was too many. I feel scared all the time that my dad will find out where I live and hurt me and I- I feel like everyone thinks I'm annoying" I say "is there anything else you feel? She asks

Yes

"No, not really" I say, "Okay so your mother tells me you went to the hospital due to deep cuts, your father didn't cause you do to that so what triggered those emotions again to do that?" Rachel asks

a/n: I'm too lazy to write about whole Finn thing and shit soo

-TIME SKIP-

⚠️you can start reading now:)

"Okay wow, you've been through so much but you're still here, and you need to remember that. You have so many people who love you and that Wyatt boy don't let him get under your skin and make you feel down. Okay if you're ever having a depressive episode or a mental breakdown

Remember that you have people who love and care about you so much, your mom, your sister, your friends in New York and here, your family, and your boyfriend" she says

"Yeah, I will I just, my dad he made believe no one will truly care about me and I feel like my friends are friends with me because of my mental health issues"

"So seems like you have trust issues" she says "Yeah I guess so" "If you feel that way, talk to your friends open up to them, keeping your feelings bottled up inside will just make you more distant with them"

"Yeah, I'll try and work on that" I sighed. "I've been through so much I don't know if I will feel true happiness all the time"

"I know. It takes time to adjust but you will make it" she says "Thanks""Is there anything else you want to talk about?" Rachel asked.

"I don't think so"  "Okay, then we're done, just remember people love and care about you and what you said about your boyfriend caring for you with your stitches and everything, believe that he will always care about you and make sure you're happy" she said.

"Thanks, I'll see you later" I say and get up "bye sweetie" she says and hugs me "bye" I opened the door and walk to Finn and mom.

"hi, y/n/n how'd it go?" Mom asks "Good" "Do you feel a bit relieved?" Finn asked. "Yeah"

We left the place and got im the car. I stared out the window and thought about what the therapist said.

"So what did she say?" Mom asks "She said that I should work on my trust issues and open up more and talk about my feelings" I said. "You can always talk to me you know that right?" Finn said with a smile. "I know"

That session was good, but I felt weird talking about my dad again, I took a deep breath and stared out the window.

A/N that went hella deep, I kinda lost my train of thought half way💀 also I kinda want to do a face reveallll but idk. also if you're going through something like this, you're not alone and talk to someone before you do anything to hurt yourself <3