*

HEADQUARTERS INFIRMARY - A FEW HOURS LATER

"Sorry, it must've been quite a shock," Hanji hisses quietly, while my top half was revealed but with my bra on still.

Her hands drift around the swollen area, as it's gotten more blemished with a dark purple and blue swelling. Inhaling was the hardest thing to do, especially when shallow panting made my heart quicken as well.

"I'm alright, she didn't crush me all the way," assuring her, before remembering Eren came in without warning. "To be honest, Eren practically saved me......but still, his actions were against our conditions."

They hum with agreement, rummaging through the box beside her.

"Well, I'm just glad we didn't lose you today....." Hanji trails off, making me tilt my head with confusion. "....I mean, we've lost so much today.......all because our mission became a failure. With the meeting at the Capital, I'm more concerned with what they will do to Eren. He's just a kid, I know......but seriously......Erwin would be pressed with heavy consequences or worse....charges."

We were at a tight situation currently, but the pain was unbearable for me to worry about the meeting.

"You're rambling again Hanji," I softly prompted, causing them to sigh heavily. "Anyway, I'm alright.......I just......."

My mind wouldn't allow me to think any further, but numbing my body.

Hanji seemed notice before humming softly, as she holds a small container of cooling cream. It was a rare medicine, but it worked as a substitute of something cold. Gently massaging it against my rib, a light hiss leaves my lips squeezing my eyes for a moment.

"Sorry," they murmur gently.

Hanji lifts her head, "Alright, now with this, I can't gauze it because it will apply more pressure," they inform me, as I nod with slight discomfort. She searches my nervous eyes, before placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. "It's rather late, so why don't you go rest up? I need to check in with Captain Levi, okay?"

Nodding slowly, with a shaky exhale my hands fumble around the hem of my shirt.

Finally gathering it together I pull it over me carefully, before it drifts over adjusting it around my curves. Hearing the door click shut, my hand shakingly grasps my chest. My breath was hard to gather, being rather painful to endure. However I'm a soldier, and I must not give into my own suffering.

*

"Akira,"

Turning around there stood Nanaba and Miche, seeing a melancholy expression both their faces. The two walk up to me, before Nanaba gives me a hesitant expression. Soon she embraces me carefully, assuming she heard what happened to me. Well, with our quick meeting with Erwin, it drained me just listening to what our current situation is.

Hating the fact we have to bring everything back up, when it should be kept quiet.

"I'm sorry, it must be hard for you," She whispers, with remorse. My hands were hesitant to return the hug, finding it hard to do much since I'm still in shock. Soon she pulls away while rubbing the sides of my arms, with deep sadness in her icy blue eyes.

"It's.....fine," my throat already straining, while gripping my shirt above my wound.

Miche soon places a hand on my shoulder, making me glance up to see his stoic eyes soften in response.

"We're glad you're still with us," sincereness laces his deep voice, making a small smile curl upon my chapped lips. My body was exhausted all over, but what was worse was the meeting. Levi and I were in charge of Eren, and we both slipped up, however I was mainly protecting him when the female titan surprised us with a bloody trail of bodies.

"........"

"Akira?" Nanaba questions, but Miche stops her by shaking his head silently. My eyes lower for a moment, before I smile softly which seemed so believable.

"Everything is fine, just need to rest easy," ensuring them that I was okay, in which I wasn't. It may seem selfish now, but right now all I have to think about was the meeting. It was in a few days, so it gave me sometime to heal and to think. I knew Levi was beyond upset about it all, no......

He was devastated, but under a sheet of steel like walls.....

I, myself was too guilty to even look him in the eye, recalling my mistakes and allowing his squad to fall to their deaths. So easily they were wiped out, one by one, seeing their last moments.....Last words.....

.....Their screams....and eyes of trepidation.........regret.....

The plan should've worked, it should've! We were all prepared, ready to attack and take our chances. We risked many lives for it to work, but their lives were in vain from our actions. Erwin seemed to admit our defeat, by seeing the darkened look I was given during our meeting. He knew we underestimated the spies, but he seemed to take that and find a solution around it.

To exploit his mistake, he must find the solution.....

Knowing that our meeting with the Capital won't be good, it would result in the worst and possible case. Levi and I's custody over Eren would be revoked, and to worsen the situation, my actions might be punished. Preparing for the worst case scenario, I couldn't mentally feel like stressing over it.

If I deserve it, I shall take full responsibility......

*

BACK AT THE OLD CASTLE

The dark room eased the tension in my head, but the strained tension in my chest made it hard to rest easy. The blankets however never made me feel comfortable, and all I could do was take slow and deep and shallow breaths. Hair sprawled messily across the pillows, my eyes would just wander the dark ceiling.

Alone, I lay in pain......

Tears dryly stained my warmed cheeks, blinking away the fresh tears that welled at the corners.

Soon I hear the door slowly opening with a quiet creak, as little light streams through casting on my bed and myself for only a moment. Soon darkness comes back, before hearing someone's feet shuffle with a slight limp. Knowing whom it was, I remain quiet and still.

The bed soon dips beside me, as a hand pats around before drifting across my warm skin.

"Baby.......are you awake," his voice was quiet, while I sigh heavily. "Please.......will you talk to me?"

"........."

Tears threaten to spill, slowly shuffling before I sit up against the headboard, gripping my chest painfully while squeezing my eyes. Soon a gentle dim light was turned on, being greeted with my boyfriend before me. Guilt settles in my stomach again, averting my gaze from his. He caresses my cheek gently, but I flinch in response while my eyes flicker around but avoiding his.

He seems to notice my manner, hearing a heavy sigh draw from his lips.

"I'm sorry," My voice broke, before swallowing thickly.

"Why--?"

"Because you.......you left me in charge," I spoke up, slowly gaining somewhat little confidence. "You gave me an order, a responsibility as Corporal......"

He falls quiet, allowing me to continue.

"......so.....why aren't you yelling at me? Scolding me?" I question, raising my eyes to meet his. The confliction wavering in his, was painful for me to comprehend. "Why aren't yo--"

"So, you want me to blame you?" He questions, cutting me off. "You want me to point out the delinquency of your actions?! Alright, then.....I shall go first! Why didn't you save them? Did you order them to fight?!"

His voice raises higher, and more sharp seeing the true emotions dripping from his cold tone. I know I asked him why he hasn't yelled at me, but now all I did was set off a ticking time bomb.

"But it wasn't your fault," he pauses, for an effective moment. My breath hitches in my throat, before my hands balled into fists gathering the blankets into my palms. Shaking my head, my breath grew more shaky. He went to cup my cheeks, caressing my cheeks beneath his thumbs, in circular motions.

Pursing my lips tightly, my throat tightens more.

"It's because I'm your lover, huh?" my voice breaks, while his thumbs pause resting upon my cheeks. His eyes slightly widen, "It's because I'm your girlfriend, that you can't yell at me, scold me........."

I might sound rather dramatic, but I hate being treated softly for something that caused many deaths to be taken.

"I-I know you're hurting too, but I took your own squad away from you," I continue on, my throat clenching on and off. My chest was growing heavier, finding it to grasp air. "S-So you have every right to yell at me......so, why can't you yell at me like I'm just a soldier for a few minutes? W-Why?"

He releases my face in shock for a moment, not knowing what was going on in his mind.

"Dammit Akira, I--"

"If you came here to check on me, to see if I'm okay, I'm alright....." I assure him, cutting him off, assuming that was the case. He was dead silent, processing my words. Every word made my side hurt, that my hand drifts to my chest.

Tears subconsciously drift down.

"....I took something from you again, and this time I hold no excuses for my actions. They meant so much to you, that I would've given my life if that's what it took!"

The more my eyes gaze into his own, with my blurry vision, I could see the brokeness flickering in his eyes.

"It's not your damn fault, and I will never place the blame on you!" He snaps, anger writhing in his voice. He took my hands, resting them against his chest. "You didn't take anything from me, and you would never do it intentionally!"

His squad was like a new family to him, I could just see it in his eyes and his trust with his comrades.

They all adored him, all placed them support and guidance. They all just held that special connection, that made me anvy their bond. Recalling my moments as a soldier before Levi was pull from the underground, I only brought destruction and death in my wake.

Everyone placed their faith in me, but in the end their lives were in vain.

"Their bodies........dumped behind, not even a limb w-was....." choking on my words, I didn't want to blame him any further. It was his own decision, even though we both were injured. ".....how are, I mean.....how are we going to tell their families.......o-oh god....."

My hands were shaking while try to meet his eyes, but the pain in my chest was throbbing. Choking on my air, my jaw clenched tightly trying to believe this was only a nightmare.

"Akira...."

Parting my lips while heavily gaining the air I need, tears sting at the corner of my eyes. My hand grasp my chest in pain, feeling myself suffocating physically and emotionally. Words could not comprehend how I felt, but I knew my vision was fading in and out.

Too overwhelmed, I shuffle to the side of the bed pushing myself.

"Akira?"

A trigger sudden clicks.......

"I'm gonna....go grab some water," I shakily breath out, cheeks burning while pushing my body furthermore. Taking just one step, everything rushes in all at once. Legs soon give out collapsing to my knees, tears streaming down uncontrollably while struggling to breath.

Feeling everything spin hands cradle my face, only to find him in front of me.

"Hey, baby.....hey hey," he whispers, making me look at him. My chest tightening more and more, as my rib wasn't easing the pain. "Look at me, and take a few deep breaths."

Blood pounds against my ears while trying to listen to him, but their screams kept ringing in my head. He takes a deep breath in, waiting for me to do so. Trying to do the best, tears continuously blur my vision while feeling him wiping them away. My hair messily covers my eyes, as he brushes the strands away.

"That's it......slow deep breaths,"

~Ba~Dum~

"I-I can't.....breath," my voice grew hoarse, before coughing harshly. Hunching over all the pain, and overwhelming thoughts begin to take over. Covering my mouth, something warm paints my palm red.

"Shit.....hey, hey......take gentle deep breaths," Levi curses, trying to calm my down. My shoulders were shaking, following my whole body trembling. "Come on.......follow me....in...."

Breathing through my nose.......he soon exhales....

"...and out...."

~Ba~Dum~

Repeating those carefully and forcefully soon made me calm down, realising how heavy my eyelids were. My chest was becoming lighter, the more his thumbs caress in circular motions repetitively, the more my eyes lulled into a haze. My body soon leans forward burying my face into the crook of his neck, sleep wanting to take over.

"That's it....good girl.....let's rest for a bit," He muses softly, replying with a painful nod.

Even though my body finally calmed down, my rib was in pain.

Arms slip beneath my knees, while he adjust my position and pulls me to rest bridal style in his arms. Groaning my eyes flutter open to peer up to see a shadow casting over his eyes, because of the lamp's angle. The warmth makes his skin glow, seeing his cheeks warm and soft.

"Your ankle....." I drawl, but he doesn't listen pulling me into his arms before feeling myself sink into the mattress. He slides in beside me carefully pulling me into his arms, while trying to not cause anymore discomfort. His chin nestles on top of my head, while mine rests upon his shoulder.

"Take slow even breaths," he tenderly says, while his hand rubs up and down my arm softly. "We'll just rest for a while, Erwin wants to meet up again with him later tonight.....okay?"

"Hmm..mm," humming softly, my body soon succumbs to a heavy rest that I never knew I needed.

*

Fluttering my eyes open I met with silver ones, gazing upon my face on his side. His arm was propped up, resting his head against his palm. Furrowing my eyebrows, I slowly shuffle back up only to grimace in pain. Clutching my chest after not moving for sometime, I take a gentle deep breath in and out to ease the pain.

"Rest well?" He asks softly, while I yawn tiredly.

"Hmm........feel lighter," admit with a light chuckle, before he leans down capturing my lips for a moment. His warm lips coax over mine, savouring the moment. Inhaling slowly, his lips move slowly and tenderly afraid to break me. Pulling away our eyes lulled sleepily, before he brushes my messy locks away.

"Good, let's go check on the brat," He suggests, making me nod carefully sitting myself up. "And.........for the record, you being alive has kept me grounded......so thank you for staying alive......whether it was for me.....or not..."

My eyes slowly widen seeing a sincere smile drift to his lips, only for a moment before returning to his usual stoic expression.

Embarrassed I was because of my panic attack and outburst, I felt rather pathetic. Yet, he has put up with my shut again and held me til I calmed down. Not even used to having someone there to calm you down with my episodes, he was the first to ever be there when I need someone there.

My hands lift up painfully and ran through his raven locks, drifting to the back of his nape.

"Thank you," was all I could say, pressing a chaste kiss to his cheek. "I'm sorry for snapping at you.....it was uncalled for."

He shook his head, "No, I'm sorry....." lifting his eyes, as I look into those eyes of his. "....I left you, when I should've stayed back."

Sighing heavily I shook my head, "

Pushing myself up, his hand automatically rests against my lower back, guiding me out carefully.

*

MESS HALL

Placing Levi's tea down, the dim torches flicker within the room. Levi was sat on the opposite end of where Eren sat, who seemed to be rather nervous in the same room, but when he saw me, he looked rather guilty.

Placing Eren his tea in front, he thanks me quietly.

My eyes trail up to see Levi in his grey sweater, as the lightly dimly casts over his defined side. He seems to be in deep thought, not even knowing why Erwin wanted us to wait for him here.

"What's the hold up," Levi mutters, lifting his cup half way. "Erwin's never late......they should be here."

Even though his voice was so quiet, it was loud enough in the quiet still room.

Placing a cup of tea down for myself, I settle beside Levi before grimacing with discomfort. Clutching my chest for a moment, I could see Eren's wavering guilt beneath his forest eyes. Taking my tea in hand, I sip it gently trying to let it calm my nerves.

"They probably got caught up with something," I assume softly, placing my cup down on the saucer.

Levi clicks his teeth, meeting my eyes for a moment.

"At this rate, the damn MPs will show up first," he brought his tea to his lips. "That'd be our luck......yeah, who can say? Maybe they're all takin' a shit.....duty calls, right?"

Chuckling in response, I brought my tea to my lips again to stifle my laughter. Eren seems to like the small joke, being so uncharacteristic of him. Yet, at least a smile was reaching my face and Eren's agan.

"Captain, you're uh..." Eren spoke up, directly talking to Levi. "...sure in a talkative mood today."

Levi swirls his tea, "So what if I am?" lifting his tea. "Doesn't mean I was talkin' to you.

Finish up his tea he places his cup down, hearing his breath hitch in his throat. He must've shifted uncomfortably, seeing his hand drift to grab his leg, while trying to conceal the pain he felt. My hand drifts to touch his hand with concern, but he gives me a side glance to assure me he's alright.

Being the stubborn man he is, he refused to show his weakness in front of others.

He even lifted me up before and i felt terrible, but it seemed he put less weight on that leg. However was still concerned for his well being, wanting to help him like he helped me. We both always overexerted ourselves, hid our pain, but he was the most stubborn one out of both of us.

"Stubborn ass," I mutter, when I hear the boy shuffle in his seat with a guilty expression.

"It's my fault, sir," Eren spoke up. "I made the choice....If I'd have thought this through, none of this-- We wouldn't--"

Shaking my head I met his eyes, "You saved me Eren, if you hadn't of transformed," I spoke up, seeing surprise in his eyes. "I would be crushed, worse.......dead. You made a judgement call, it was in the heat of the moment...."

Levi hums in agreement, "Look kid, no one expects you to be clairvoyant,"

Just at that moment the door opens up, I knew our meeting with Erwin would begin. Yet, I still felt like there was more to speak to Eren, but I might need to wait for another free time. Levi and I turn to the Commander, while Eren shoots up from his chair in respect.

"Sorry to keep you waiting," Erwin apologises, entering the room.

"Sir," Eren greets, when he gasps seeing three young recruits.

Jean, Mikasa and Armin standing beside the Commander as Eren was confused.

"Why--Why are you all here?" the boy questions.

Erwin lifts his head up, "We believe we've uncovered the female titan's true identity,"

Everyone falls silent processing the accusation, awaiting for the answer to be revealed to everyone within the room. Erwin walks over and sprawls out the map of Stohess.

"The day after tomorrow, we'll be passing through Stohess District en route to the capital," Erwin begins, explaining his main plan. "That's when we'll strike. It'll be our first and only chance to do so.