: T r  i g g e r  W a r n  i n g :

Comfort ; ˈkʌmfət

S o n g  S u g g e s t i o n s ~

* Laughing on the outside ; Bernadette

* Can you feel my heart? ; Bring me the horizon

* Lovely; Billie Eillish

~ [ y / n ] ' s P O V ~

Another day, another hell, seriously I wonder how I kept up with this torture and torment it never ends why? I even let my own squad die under my control, my supervision... you thought

Why? I do deserve this you tell yourself

You look at the bright shining blade in front of yourself

I deserve this, I deserve this I repeat to yourself...

With a little hesitation, You slice the blade in your skin deeply

Suddenly a ringing painful bleeding sensation hits your wrist

You kept repeating the phrase, I deserve this, I blame myself, how come I couldn't even save them? you mumbled

You remember as you watched from the sidelines as your squad dies, one by one, and now? everyone is suffering for no damn reason!

Why did they leave me to live alone in this cruel society you think as you break down

This, this bleeding it isn't enough you think to yourself

What type of monster like me can be allowed in this monstrous world? you repeat

You make your mind after thinking deeply and head out your room, hesitating at the doorknob with your bleeding trembling hands

Do I really want to do this? you question yourself

You turn the doorknob and you make your way to the roof where you thought can finally be at peace and not ruin everyone's lives anymore...

. . .

Jogging up the stairs, you inhale the air that greeted your presence when you set foot on the roof

Yes it's relaxing, you thought as you inch your feet to the edge

You open your arms

This is it, the end...

You then fall down, embracing the wind until it come to a stop?

what? why can't I feel any pain? you thought

You look up to see the person carrying you away from fate...

Levi?

"C-captain what are you doing!" you stutter

Levi meets a stop and gently pushes you to safely

" WHAT WAS THAT?" he yells loudly at you

You look at him a bit puzzled

"you don't need to invade my business," you say brushing it off

Damn it, right timing, my massive crush saved me ... you thought a little embarrassed

"OI! where you going to jump to your death? how could you be so reckless!" he yells in frustration at you

"I WASN'T RECKLESS!... it was on...purpose" you admit, feeling the warm tears well up in my eyes again

"why? WHY?" Levi askes after hearing no response from you

You ignore this, turning your head so he wouldn't notice your tears welling up in your [e/c] eyes 

"tch why brat!" Levi lowered his tone as he realises his harsh tone

"WHY DO YOU CARE! IT'S NOT LIKE I SERVED A PURPOSE!" you yell, putting your frustration out

"WHY DO I CARE? WOW I DONT KNOW MAYBE ITS MAYBE YOU MADE ME FEEL THIS WAY ABOUT YOU... I care about you" Levi mumbles the last part

You raise a brow? what? did he confess? no this is just out of pity...

"then let go...I'm useless" you say with tears finally reaching the bottom of your cheek

Levi kneels before you and wipes the tears away

"you, [y/n], you are not useless, you are special and unique, despite your mistakes, humanity still needs you" Levi said cupping your cheeks and stroking it softly

You look at him, this was the first time Levi had done something so sincere but you turn your head

"tch, lets go to your room and talk, the cold is fucking freezing" Levi tried to lighten the mood

You turn your head to him with tears

Levi helps you up and grabs your wrist and you hiss quietly

. . .

After reaching your one and only room, Levi sets his ODM gear down,  He lets go of your wrist and you hiss loudly

"what is it-" Levi realises the source and without consent, pulled your sleeve up harshly, making you hiss at such sudden action

"wait Captain- it isn't what it looks like" you try to explain

Levi eyes widened at such sight

"...why?" his trembling voice echoed through your head as he looked at the ruined image of your wrist

Levi looks directly at you, his emotions return when he saved you once more

"WHY?" he yells at you, tears suddenly cupping his cheeks

You break down and cry on the spot, you just had to let it all out

Levi eyes soften and kneel down to hug you tightly

"sorry for raising my voice" he said as he carelessly brushes your [h/c] hair with his fingers

You cry more, you wanted to relieve the stress that was transferred on your shoulders

. . .

After hours of crying and telling about what led you to this decision while Levi quietly listens and bandages you, you slowly calm down

"it's okay, you did good, don't self-pity yourself, there are also people I want to bring back..." Levi said not breaking the hug after bandaging you

You hug him fighting in between sniffles thanked him

"don't you ever bad mouth yourself, you are unique, beautiful, art and someone that brightens this hell" Levi explains as he slowly kisses your forehead with such loving eyes

You hug him more, this time, very tightly

"thank you so much Captain" you say at peace, finally...

You hear Levi tch and mumble, "it's Levi to you" and you simply nod in response

Why did I try to do that? what if he didn't have his ODM gear? wait why was he up there? you thought

"why were you up there?" you ask a little curious and dying for a different topic

"no reason, c'mon let's get rest" Levi said guiding you to the bed

With hesitation, he cradles beside you and massages your hair in the bed

" by the way Levi... I love you" you finally mumble, with an answer and drift off to slumber

. . .

The next morning, you awoke to someone wrapping their arms around you and to your surprise it was Levi and suddenly everything comes back to you

"how did you sleep" Levi mumbles as if he sensed you awake from the intense staring

"okay" you mumble quietly to him

Levi slowly smiles and kisses you softly, brushing his lips on yours and you blush pink

"you okay? need more support? I will cancel my paperwork with eyebrows for you" he mumbles softly as ever

You nod and hug him tightly and he complies

"ok dear" he mumbles in response

"just don't ever do something you might regret again" he finishes as you rest your face on his chest

You nod and look up at his eyes

"also, your mine now, so don't get out of my sight" he chuckled as he pecked your lips again

You slowly smile and wrap your arms around his neck and kissed his lips  properly

yes, I still can't get over the death of my comrades but with Levi, he will help me through this,

by comforting me when needed you thought

T h e E n d ~

:note ; you if are experiencing such emotion, remember there are help lines you can seek for help, never think your not worth it, you are special and belong on in this world 💖 :