CHAPTER 20

Extra Bit Of Love

     Brynn found Inej the next morning by the rail on the side of the ship, staring out into the sea. She'd spent the night with Sasha, talking all the way through the dark hours until the sun finally came up. Brynn had told Sasha to at least try to get some sleep and went above deck to find something to do. She knew she wouldn't be able to get to sleep with everything on her mind all at once.

Handing Inej a cup of tea—she knew the girl preferred tea to coffee—Brynn leaned against the rail next to Inej with her own cup of coffee, staring out into the ocean with her, silently watching the rolling waves pass by their schooner.

She was grateful to have her normal hair back, the red locks waving in the wind freely. When Brynn took a sip of her coffee, Inej broke the comfortable silence.

"I hope you're not so completely oblivious that you haven't noticed Kaz staring at you every moment he can."

Brynn didn't turn around to where Kaz probably was on the prow of the ship, staring at her, as always. "I might not know much, but I'm not that oblivious." She thought back to the drüskelle officer. "He stabbed a man in the neck with a fork back at the Ice Court."

A small smile came to Inej's face. "First he takes out Oomen's eye and guts him, then he stabs a man with a fork. All for you."

"All for me," echoed Brynn. She took a sip of her coffee, then sighed. "Men."

"Kaz is like no other man," said Inej.

"Let's not speak of men any more," Brynn said. "What are you going to do with your share?"

Inej thought for a moment. "I'm going to learn to sail. Hire a crew and outfit a ship. I'm going to hunt slavers."

Brynn smiled thoughtfully. "They have no idea what's coming for them, then."

"I'll go home first, though."

"To Ravka?"

Inej nodded.

"To find your family."

"Yes." Brynn was glad Inej still had family. Even if the rest of them either only had one parent or none, Inej still had her parents. Hopefully she'd find them. "About what Kaz said in the holding area—"

Brynn interrupted her. "It's true. What he said, about burning down my village, that happened. It was an accident, but there's nothing I can say or do to make up for it."

"But Sasha's alive." Inej set a hand on Brynn's shoulder. "And that's all that matters."

She turned around to lean her elbows on the rail. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Kaz by the prow, his cane clutched in his hands. She couldn't tell if he was looking at her without glancing at him, so she decided not to.

"Men," Brynn breathed. "Inej, you are going to find a man who will cherish and love you just as much as you love him, I know it. And if he is anything less, I will come, pistols and fire blazing, to set him straight. If I can promise anything, I can promise you that."

"And the Wraith will come, claws out, if Kaz Brekker is anything less than good to you. Or anyone, for that matter."

Brynn hugged Inej briefly. She saw Sasha emerging from belowdecks and waved her over. "Sasha, Inej speaks Suli," she said in Kaelish. "Do you still remember your studies?"

Sasha said something in Suli and, to Brynn's befuddled expression, she translated, "Ma would never let me forget."

"Now you can bother, Inej, too," said Brynn with a grin.

"Better her than Kaz," muttered Sasha. "I feel like knives are going to come out of his eyes at any minute."

"Not knives," Brynn corrected. "Bullets."

~~~

After a brief visit to Nina and Matthias, Brynn sat by herself near the mast on a barrel full of Saints-knew-what. With her second cup of coffee in hand, Brynn watched the waves, her mind running at a speed too fast for her to comprehend.

Would she stay in Ketterdam? With the Dregs? With Kaz? Or would she go with Sasha wherever she wanted to go? And what if Sasha wanted to stay in Ketterdam? What would they do, then? Would Sasha join the Dregs, too?

No, replied Brynn as soon as the question entered her mind. She might have done what she needed to do to survive, wear the crow tattoo on her forearm like war paint, but Sasha would have a good life. Brynn would make sure of it.

She twisted her rings in thought. The comfort of the jewelry brought back a little bit of confidence, as well as the loose-fitting tunic and trousers she had changed into as soon as she could.

Brynn had once had a dream as a kid to open a bakery. There was only one in their village, but it wasn't very good. Everytime she went with her family, they'd make up a better recipe for the treat and make it themselves. By the time Brynn was twelve, the recipe book was filled to the brim and they'd had to make two of the folders.

The recipes had burned to ash and dust in the fire, but Brynn could have sworn she remembered a few of the better ones. Her mother's famous verrie pie was their favorite to make. It was a croissant that had been cut in half and holed out. Whipped cream and every fruit imaginable was put inside each of the halves, then sprinkled with chocolate and a special ingredient that came straight from their own garden. When Brynn had turned twelve, Ma sat her down to tell her what the secret ingredient was.

"Tell me, Ma!" she'd squirmed and exclaimed. "Tell me, tell me!"

Ma had laughed. "Alright, little one. Come a little closer and I'll tell you." Brynn shimmied up onto Ma's lap, her eyes wide and expectant. "Do you remember when I told you about deception?"

Brynn nodded. "You said it was like lying. That it was bad."

"Not all deception is bad. Sometimes, it can be used for good," Ma corrected. "Like in our verrie pie. There is no fruit called verrie, instead, all the fruits are called verrie. So I say there's a secret ingredient, but in reality, all I'm adding is an extra bit of love."

"That's not an ingredient," giggled Brynn.

Ma raised her eyebrows. "It's not? Then why does everyone wonder about the secret ingredient, swearing that they can taste something else, when there really isn't an extra ingredient?"

Deception. Brynn knew the art of lies and deception all too well. She wondered what Ma and Da would think if they saw her now. A murderer, a liar, and a coward.

She should have been faster to grab the parem. She should be the one writhing in pain belowdecks instead of Nina. Nina should be able to be happy with Matthias.

Could Brynn be happy with Kaz, then? She glanced down at her gloved hands. She'd also put on the first pair of gloves she saw along with her new clothes, but Brynn was beginning to wonder if she really needed them. Slowly, she tugged them off and dropped them on the ground next to her.

There was no doubt that Brynn would burn things down again, but there was no reason for her to be afraid of it. What happened was in the past. Instead of being afraid of herself, why couldn't she just have centered her powers and trained to get a better hold of them? The past wouldn't happen again. All Brynn needed to do was accept that fact.

a/n— Just a little bit of fluff and some more backstory to add, but the next few chapters are going to be goooood! And then...drumroll please! The sequel! Yay! Let me know what you think!