Being narcoleptic was not a walk in the park at all. The disorder came with many challenges, the main being staying awake all day without passing out and drooling all over some poor person who was simply trying to get their work done during class. Nellie Puckerman tried to deal with the disorder the best way she could, taking her medications and her occasional naps during the school day every so often. But it got hard at times, when everyone would stare at her as she popped a pill into her mouth to keep the drowsiness away (Matteo would sometimes tower over her as she did this so that nobody could notice, although sometimes he wasn't around.). It also got hard when she had to miss cheer practice because she was so exhausted. Not a day went by when Nellie didn't jump to the worse case scenario, which was Sue eventually kicking her off the team for not being 100% into it. Despite that most likely never happening, Nellie still couldn't help but think about it every so often, which sent her into a downwards spiral that she couldn't pull herself out of.

Today was a core example. It was rainy, cold, and Nellie really didn't have the time or energy to deal with anyone or anything. Hence the reason why she sat slumped in her seat during Spanish class, her dark eyes dropping and on the verge of closing completely. She was well aware that she forgot to take her meds that morning, for if she did she wouldn't feel as horrible as she did at the moment. Nellie ran a hand over her face, trying to make it seem like she was into the lesson as much as possible. But it was almost impossible, with the class being almost dead silent, the perfect environment for someone to fall asleep in. To make matters even worse Matteo had begun to play with her hair, something that was normally capable of making her fall asleep in a matter of seconds.

This sucked was all Nellie could keep repeating in her head with a very much visible eye roll every so often. She hated that she wasn't normal anymore and wasn't able to do normal things like go for a run without almost collapsing from exhaustion. However Nellie knows if she was to ever verbally express her concerns she would be shot down in a matter of seconds, for everyone would just cradle her like she was some incompetent toddler and tell her how wrong she was about herself, that she was amazing in every shape or way. It was nice at first, but now it was just starting to get old and annoying.

Matteo was a prime example. Nellie loved her boyfriend, and someday she wanted to marry him. But there were times where she wished he would just.....stop. It was selfish, and most likely a terrible thing to say, for all Matteo has done over the last few months is give Nellie his complete love and respect. But there were times when the love became too much for her, especially when she was already starting to feel horrible about herself. Like Matteo was only with her for pity, and he only stuck around because she couldn't take care of herself.

Nellie quickly cleared her throat, shaking her head as she once more ran a hand over her face to make herself look more alive. Matteo noticed this, for a concerned look spread across his features as he slowly removed his hands from Nellies hair. See what she means? Nellie couldn't stand that look Matteo gave her, the look that just screamed "I need to take care of you." Because that wasn't the case. Nellie never did that when Matteo was facing the wrath of his abusive household, so she couldn't understand why he was doing it now.

Nellie was quickly snapped out of her rather frustrated thoughts when music blasted throughout the classroom, Mr.Shue standing before her wearing a sombrero while singing and dancing to a song in Spanish. Finn, Puck, and Artie were accompanying him, looking just as stupid and weird. Matteo's face contorted into one of horror as he watched the scene unfold.

"Oh—" Nellie began, her brows furrowing as she couldn't even bring herself to finish her sentence. From the corner of her eye she could see Matteo's shoulder slump, genuinely seeming to be hurt at the performance. Nellie could understand why if she was being honest, but ultimately decided to not even comment on it. All she could do at the moment was steal glances over at Matteo who watched the performance with a deep frown on his face. Not being able to take it anymore, Nellie eventually decided to give her two sense in on the performance by throwing a paper ball right at Mr.Shue's head, causing for the music to stop almost immediately. Nellie simply shrugged her shoulders in defense before crossing her arms over her chest, glancing over at Matteo for the final time who had a soft smile on his face.

**********
"Dude, you went up against a kid from Dalton by singing the one and only MJ?" Jay exclaimed quite loudly, walking into glee club right beside Nellie who had just finished recapping the brown haired boy on the events that occurred the week before, such as the entire MJ show down along with Blaine's injury. "Remind me to never get strep throat again."

"I'll try," Nellie teased, giggling as she took her usual seat besides Matteo, who instantly wrapped his arms around her shoulders, a routine that Nellie would usually find heartwarming. But after the thoughts that had been coursing through her mind in the last couple of days, she couldn't help but second guess what was supposed to be a kind gesture. Pity. That was the only word capable of repeating in her mind over and over again, and she hated it like no other. Shaking off the thoughts, Nellie watched as Mr.Shue walked into the classroom and wrote 2030 on the boards.

"Alright, guys! Let me ask you something. Where do you think you'll be in the year 2030?" Mr.Shue questioned, looking around the classroom to see if anyone was willing to answer his question.

"Broadway. Twinsies!" Both Kurt and Rachel exclaimed at the same time.

"Walking." Artie added.

Nellie shrugged, not exactly seeing why this question was important. "Probably winning an Oscar or something."

"I totally believe that'll happen, babe," Matteo leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Nellies cheek, the teen girl sending him a tight lipped smile before sighing deeply. Jay noticed this, sending the pair a weird look before wrapping his arms around Mercedes shoulders,

"Wherever you are, whatever you're doing, you're going to need to be able to speak Spanish," Mr.Shue continued, Nellie now understanding the point of this entire lesson. This must've been about the fact that quite literally nobody liked his performance in Spanish class and now he was desperately trying to clean up his act. "The reality is, by 2030, more people on this planet will be speaking Spanish than any other language. The world is changing. Our culture is changing. And that needs to be reflected in here. So for our next assignment, we're only doing songs written or performed by someone Latin, or of Latin descent. Or English songs performed bilingually."

"Ooh, I'm bilingual." Brittany commented, Nellie shaking her head before patting Brittany's shoulder.

"Uh, Mr.Shue, though I love that we're finally getting all Lima Sound Machine in here, why now?" Santana questioned, asking the one thing that probably everyone in the classroom wanted to know at the moment.

"Oh, Santana, because it's long overdue. The truth is, I love all things Latin. I mean, I love Latin food, Latin art, Latin people." Mr.Shue explained. From the corner of her eye Nellie could see Matteo roll his eyes, clearly not all that interested in this weeks lesson.

"You don't even know any Latin people." Matteo pointed out, Santana pointing a finger to him and nodding in agreement. Just as he said that a man walked in, speaking Spanish to the group of teens sitting in the choir room. Nellies eyes widened at how attractive the man seemed to be, causing for her jaw to drop to the ground.

"I know. Um, guys, this is David Martinez. David Martinez, this is the glee club." Mr.Shue introduced.

"Oh, my god."

"Cutest...."

"Smile..."

"Ever...."

"Hello, everyone. Es un honor para mi estar aqui con ustedes. It's a pleasure," David greeted, now turning towards the group of teenagers.

"David here is one of my many Latin friends," Mr.Shue stated. "And uh, he's interested in starting his own night school glee club, after hours. So, uh, I invited him to come watch us get out duende on."

"Duende?" Finn asked in confusion.

Matteo scoffed, rolling his eyes. "It means dwarf, you moron."

"Now I'm completely confused? So what's the assignment?" Puck spoke up in confusion.

"To sing, in Spanish, with duende. Which yes, literally means "dwarf", but metaphorically, it means to have Spanish soul. To be filled with Spanish passion." Mr.Shue informed.

"Will, can I....hablar con ellos?" David suggested, Mr.Shue nodding before allowing him to continue. "A performance with duende transforms you. Makes you sing, makes you cry, makes you laugh. Makes you want to kiss a person you love. A song sung in Spanish must have duende, or else."

"Show us," Nellie practically demanded, clearing her throat and looking at the ground once she realized how aggressive she sounded at the moment.

"Oh dear god, please, yes," Kurt agreed, the two leaning over to high five before giggling.

"Okay. Well, I'm-I'm not a professional like you guys, but I'll give it a go." David finally caved, Nellie cheering loudly and grinning widely, Matteo raising a brow her way before shaking his head and facing the front of the room once more. Something weird was going on, something very weird that Matteo couldn't quite put his finger on yet. He could feel his heart pound out of his chest at the thought of Nellie being angry with him, causing for him to chew on the inside of his cheek to try and steady the panic attack that was already beginning to bubble up in the pit of his stomach. However once the music began to start playing Matteo decided to focus on that instead of the thoughts that decided to plague his mind at the moment.

[I'm Sexy and I Know It-David Martinez, Artie Abrams, and the New Directions.]

**********

Later on that evening Nellie laid in between both Kurt and Mercedes on Rachel's bed. The group of four were watching one of the many twilight movies. Nellie needed a distraction after the day she just had, hence why she even agreed to show up to the sleepover in the first place.

"How is the girl with no ass supposed to choose between the juiced up wolf and the depressed vampire? She's into both of them." Mercedes pointed out, Nellie glancing away from the tv for a moment before popping a piece of candy into her mouth.

"Oh, come on, Mercedes. She just knows." Rachel replied.

"But what if they both make her feel amazing in different ways?"

"I feel like this has a double meaning," Nellie pointed out, propping her head up on her elbow as she was now completely invested in this conversation.

"Well, you don't get to choose when it comes to true love. Sometimes true love chooses you," Rachel added. "And you better be certain when it comes to marriage because marriage, and it lasts for forever."

"Ladies, I appreciate you spending time with me while Blaine recovers, but why are you being so weird and serious? Our periods don't come until the end of the month," Kurt spoke, Nellie chuckling before playfully rolling her eyes at the comment.

Rachel sits up from her spot on the bed and moves to turn off the tv, Nellie furrowing her brows in confusion. "Can you guys keep a secret?"

Right before Nellie could reply Rachel grabbed her necklace, revealing a shiny wedding ring. The Puckerman girl could feel her jaw drop to her feet at the revelation. She didn't know what she was expecting, but it certainly wasn't that.

"Rachel, what the hell is that?" Mercedes demanded.

"It's an engagement ring."

"Shut up!" Both Kurt and Nellie shouted.

"Finn proposed." Rachel confirmed her words from before.

"And what did you say?" Nellie leaned forward, wanting to know all of the juicy details.

"I said yes."

"Rachel, have you lost your damn mind?" Mercedes commented.

"But I love Finn. I really love him."

"Ok, but what about NYADA?" Nellie pointed out, throwing her arms up into the air with a bewildered expression.

"It's still going to happen. I have dreams for a huge life for myself, okay, some of which interlude, you know, a little bit of struggle until I can make all of my dreams come true," Rachel replied, Nellie slowly nodding her head in understanding. "They'll be great anecdotes for the Jimmy Kimmel show. I'll call them my Top Ramen weeks. But in every single one of my dreams....okay, struggling or not....there he is. Finn. Look, I know that I'm going to be with Finn for the rest of my life, just as much as I know that I'm going to be a huge star one day. So you promise not to tell anyone?"

"Okay, I am going home right now to yell at Finn, because this is insane." Kurt commented, Nellie hitting his shoulder before shaking her head.

"That is not fair, Kurt. I mean, what would you do is Blaine proposed to you today? Or Nellie, Mercedes, what about Jay or Matteo? So will you please keep my secret?"

Nellie shook her head as she ran a hand through her hair. "I-I mean yeah, but this isn't about me!"

"Aren't you scared you made the wrong choice?" Mercedes sighed.

"Look, I know that I have the right person. Scary part was just....choosing to know it." Rachel replied.

**********
Days later, Nellie still couldn't help but think about Matteo and their potential relationship problems. Never in her life did she believe it would come to a point where she was beginning to second guess her boyfriends love for her. The two had always been attached at the hip, however now it just felt a bit off. Off to the point where Nellie wanted to confront the issue, but truly didn't know how to do so. Speaking of Matteo, Nellie sat in the choir room and watched as the boys performed their song for the week.

[Bombelo-The New Direction Boys]

"Guys, that was some muy serious footwork. Muy means very." Mr.Shue praised  after the performance as Nellie cheered loudly for her boyfriend and friends.

"I was in it mostly for the boots." Kurt commented.

"Yeah, what's the deal with those boots? Because wow,"

"They're Mexican hipster boots. It's kind of like a fad for a group of guys that are into dance music, and we're kind of like a dance crew. Senor Martinez told us about it." Finn explained, Matteo kicking off the boots seconds later and putting on his own shoes.

"The teeth, the duende, the bizarre Mexican fads. Senor Martinez is like, the best Spanish teacher ever. I can't wait to see your performance, Mr.Shue." Santana agreed.

"My performance?" Mr.Shue repeated.

"Yeah, to defend your Spanish teacher honor. I'm sure you have something muy amazing planned." Santana replied, sending a smug smile his way.

                      *********
Nellie couldn't take it anymore. The constant fears that plagued every single inch of her body each time she glanced over at Matteo. It was growing overwhelming, so much to the point where she decided to skip out on the last performances of the weak and instead sit on the bleachers watching the seconds go by her. She knew that either Matteo or one of her other friends would be on the lookout for her, which was something she dreaded more than anything in the entire world. All she wanted was silence. Of course, she couldn't get that.

"Nellie?" Matteo questioned, making his way up the bleachers to stand mere inches away from her. "Babe, what're you doing? You're supposed to be in the theater with everyone else."

"I wasn't feeling it," Nellie mumbled, pulling her knees up to her chest to block the concerned look Matteo had on his face away. "Just needed some peace for a second."

"Ok, well, this isn't like you. Normally you're really—"

"Ok, well, not today, alright?" Nellie snapped, finally beginning to loose her temper. The last thing she ever wanted was to shout at Matteo, especially after knowing everything he's been through. But now, it was all growing too much. She needed to release her emotions somehow. "I'm—I'm sorry, alright? Just go, please."

"Go?" Matteo repeated, a dry laugh escaping his lips. "I'm not just gonna go, Nellie. Not when I know something isn't right. You've been acting off all week, and I need to know why. Did I do something?"

"Maybe you did!" Nellie ran a frustrated hand through her hair, her heart sinking to her stomach as she watched Matteo's face fall at her words. "Sometimes—Sometimes when you look at me I only think you're with me out of pity."

"Are you crazy?" Matteo exclaimed, now beginning to grow a bit frustrated as well. "You only think I love you because of pity? Nellie, I opened up my entire life to you. I told you about my addiction, my parents, hell, you were the first girl I've slept with while sober! I love you, ok? How could you think otherwise?"

"It's because of the way you treat me sometimes!" Nellie huffed. "You baby me, and act like I can't do anything on my own because of my narcolepsy. I'm sick of it! All I want is some independence!"

"Why are you acting like I don't give you independence? I give you whatever you want, Nellie! And if you can't see that—then what are even doing?" There it was. Those words that both teens dreaded to here at the moment. Nellies eyes widened in realization of what was truly happening as she stepped away, crossing her arms over her chest while sniffling as well. Matteo did the same, his vision now becoming blurry with salty tears.

"I don't know what we're doing," Nellie confessed, shrugging her shoulders as her voice painfully cracked. "I just—I don't want to feel this way about us anymore."

"Me neither," Matteo agreed. "Maybe we should steer clear of each other for a few days, just to get our heads back on straight."

"Good plan," Nellie hummed, already grabbing her stuff and beginning to make her way down the bleachers. "I love you, Matteo."

Matteo however didn't say it back, grabbing his stuff as well before walking off, slapping a hand over his mouth to stifle his cries.

Word count;3,189

this wouldn't be one of my fics without a little angst lolz