─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─

✧ 𝟎𝟐𝟐. ❝im sorry sophia❞ ✧🦋
irl, instagram...

IRL

─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─

CHRIS' POV

Since I realised that I really like Sophia, everything completely changed, like 180 degrees. The way she walked was now very appealing to my eyes. I couldn't look away now.

When she smiled I found myself unwillingly always looking at her a second longer than Matt or Nick. I know I looked like a madman.

When she spoke, I couldn't keep my eyes off her lips and today I noticed that she was wearing a different lipstick from the one she had on every other day.  It was still red, but it was definitely darker. I loved how it looked on her.

I know it's bad. It's bad that I notice the difference in the shades of lipstick on her, but all of it just seems very obvious, now that I always have to be looking at her to fulfill my heart's desire.

Infact she was talking to me right this moment. And I knew that, I could hear her beautiful, soft voice, over evey other sound that could be currently heard. Still I wasn't really paying attention to what she was saying because for me, everything blurred together when it came to her.

Her voice, her face, her hair, her eyes, her lips, all of it, they all blurred together into the perfect girl that was Sophia davis, standing right here in front of me.

I knew I was screwed when she stopped walking back and forth and stopped right infront of me, eyebrows raised. "Are you even listening to me Chris" she spoke, while waving her hand infront of my face and I snapped back into reality.

I wanted to say that I was, but I knew she would notice that I was lying so I put on the sweetest smile I had in me and slowly shook my head no.

I thought she would be annoyed at me but instead she laughed. "I can't even be mad at that pretty face and cute smile" she said while ruffling my hair. Oh god, why would she do this to me?

How could such a simple thing, make my heart almost jump out of my ribcage. I fear that that's just the effect Sophia davis has on people.

I stood up, lazily, throwing my arm around her shoulder. I always had this weird need to be close to her and now I finally found out that I just needed her.

"Could you repeat that for me pretty" I said while I grabbed her chin, trying to get some reaction. Her eyes widened and her cheeks got all red. "Why are you so much flirtier today than you've ever been she said while she crossed her arms.

I smirked at her. If only she knew that my heart beating crazy fast right now, she would understand that it was all only for her.

She seemer to be all flustered, because she tried to hide her face behind her hands."God don't smirk at me like that Chris, I'm going to get something from the gas station, do you want something too?" She asked while she shrugged my arm off her and started putting her slippers on.

I thought a little about it. "You already know it baby" I said and I heard her breathtaking laugh again and my whole life felt like it was finally worth it again. "Pepsi and honey barbecue fritos?" she asked and I nodded with the fattest smile on my face. She knew me so well already.

This girl was going to be the death of me.

When she finally got off the bus, I didn't waste a second. I started speed walking to the main areas, where the TV was knowing I'd find my brother there. Said and done. I looked into the "room" ajd I was found with Matt and Nick both on their phones.

"You guys need to help me, right now" I whispered-yelled while pulling at my hair. I sat down on the couch, opposite of them and my knee started bouncing up and down. Matt and Nick looked between each other.

"Let us guess" Nick said while crossing his arms, and I felt like I was about to get the fucking lesson of my life. "This is about you liking Sophia right?" Nick added to his previous sentence.

I nodded frantically. "It's our third show today and these stupid feelings keep getting stronger, and I don't know how much longer I can hold them back without making shit obvious." I said while tapping my fingers on the couch.

Matt sighed and shook his head like a very disappointed parent, which by the look on his face, was exactly what he was feeling like. "What about the idea of not hiding your feelings anymore? ever thought of that?" He questioned like it was the simplest thing in the whole world.

I let out a heavy breath, letting my head fall into my palms. "It's not about me Matt. This is all about her. Like, I see her and I want to be with her, but I don't want to risk our friendship. Plus, she would never want to be with me." I said while I shook my head. My dreams about me and Sophia falling apart slowly.

Nick stood up, and bent down in front of me, Matt soon joined. "Why not Chris?" Nick asked.
"And don't even think about saying that she doesn't like you as much as you like her, because that's just straight up not true" Matt added to Nicks question.

Nick was rubbing my back as a sign of support, while Matt had his hand on my shoulder. "I'm not saying that. Even if she did like me, she wouldn't want to be with me because of the hate she would get. Have you seen her instagram posts?" I said, while my throat was tightening.

Both of them nodded their heads sadly, not daring to look at me. Even so, I knew that they understood. "Exactly. She's already getting completely destroyed by our so called fandom, for singing on our freaking tour as our friend, imagine if we were dating." I said while moving my hands around frantically and looking desperately at my brothers as if they could come up with some weird, magical solution.

I saw it in their faced. When reality finally hit them. "She would get ripped apart" Nick said with a slight breath. They both looked sad. But neither could understand what I was currently feeling like. I was a complete mess. My hope about being with the first girl I've actually really liked, slowly fading into thin air with every other dream I'd thought of achieving with her. And all because of those, who should actually be the ones to support me most.

Sadly that just wasn't life.

I wish I could actually tell her how I feel. I wish I could just go up to her and kiss her on the fucking stage, infront of everybody and not care. I knoe that I don't care, but I know she cares and that's enough for me to respect it.

I know I would care too, if people cut me apart for being myself. On too of that, she didn't do anything wrong, and still people keep bashing her and her talent and I can't help but feel all the guilt pouring down on me. Maybe we just weren't meant to be.

So I can't do anything except apologize for all of this.

I'm sorry Sophia.

I'm sorry for making you feel like this.

I'm sorry for dragging you into this.

I'm sorry for ruining you.

I'm sorry that I was such a damn fool and fell for you so deeply.

INSTAGRAM

─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─

@christophersturniolo

liked by sophiadavis, auroralewis, matthewsturniolo and 928.027 others

christophersturniolo i know that im too late, but i'll say it anyway. i'm so sorry.

comments were turned off

─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─

next chap will be longer i promise
🩵deene