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ONCE I GOT to our back door, I texted Alfie to make sure he had everyone distracted. He told me that they were all in the entertainment room watching a movie which gave me the perfect opportunity to sneak in. I carefully brought out my keys, making sure not to allow them to make a sound as I unlocked the door. I entered our home as quietly as a mouse then I proceeded upstairs. I passed the entertainment room and I could hear the speakers blasting from outside. Alfie was doing a good job keeping them distracted.

I stood before Alfie's door and quietly turned the knob. I switched on the light and welcomed myself inside. The vintage globe on his window pane immediately greeted me. The sight of it immediately made my heart clench. I gently sat on my brother's bed as I took off Max's tuxedo jacket and took the globe from its place on the window pane. Tears shed down my face as I held the globe in my hands. I gave it a gentle spin before I held it close to my heart and let the tears fall.

It was only in that moment I realized how important the globe was. I pulled it away from me and I studied its details through the tears in my eyes. Its oceans were almost white instead of blue, the colors of every country looked as if they had the sepia filter on them, and the color of the whole globe itself was somewhat fading due to old age.

As I held it at the stand, I felt engraving at the bottom. I carefully turned the globe over and saw the words engraved at the bottom. I had to put a hand over my mouth to choke back my tears. For Charlie. You deserve the world. M. I held it close to my heart again as I cried and cried. I can't believe I had the audacity to give this to Alfie just because I was afraid of Max catching feelings for me.

Max has been in love with me for a whole year and two months of our thirteen years of friendship. I have no words. My mind is a mess and my heart doesn't know how to feel. I cried for Max and because of Max—for what I did to him last Christmas, for how hurt he must have felt after what I said, for every day after last Christmas, for the times I stopped myself from falling for him, for the day I admitted to myself that I like him too, and for how annoyed I was that of all people in this world, I had to be so in love with my best friend.

I pulled the globe away from me once more and I realized that it felt a bit heavy. I gave it a spin and I felt the weight in it. What could be inside this globe? My heart could literally not handle any more surprises. As I looked at the globe, I saw that the globe wasn't perfectly aligned at the equator. I brushed my hand through it and I felt the unevenness of it. Then I remembered what Max said a while ago.

"Guess you never got to open the globe up either."

My brows knit together as I looked for a way to open the globe. I placed one hand on the upper half of the globe and another hand on the lower half. I gave it a twist and it budged open. Although it wouldn't open all the way, I could see the neat arrangement of papers inside. I untwisted the knobs holding the globe in place on the stand and the globe came falling out. It fell on Alfie's bed partly opened more than it already was. I carefully picked it up and I fully opened the globe up.

The two halves of the globe were tied together at the center which allowed my to hold it up with one hand. Inside the globe were pictures of Max and I from over the years cut in half circles and tied to the center that held the halves of the globe together. More tears flowed out of my eyes as I flicked through every picture.

One picture was of us with Harvey when we first met. It was the day they came over a few days after we moved in. We flashed our toothy smiles and we looked so pure and innocent. Another picture was of us in our school uniforms at our playground after school. Another picture was of Max and I at Vidcon a few years back. There was another picture of us from my piano recital. There was also a picture of us on our first day of year 11. Max had also included one of my favorite pictures of us at our stopover at St. Lucia from the cruise our families went on last year before Christmas. Max was giving me a piggy back ride and we had huge smiles on.

As I continued flicking through the pictures, I saw a slide that wasn't a picture but a note. I can go all over the globe and never find a girl as special as my best friend Charlotte Kate Wright, it read. I closed the globe then I hugged it and cried. All the tears that I've been holding in we're finally making their way out of my eyes. I was crying so hard that I couldn't stop. All those tears for and just because of my best friend.

"Charlie?" The gentle voice of my brother filled my ears. I looked up at him and wiped my tears.

"Alfie! Hi love. Sorry I'm in your room. I had to get this." I said as I held up the globe.

"That old thing?" He asked as he sat beside me. "It's from Max, isn't it?"

"Yeah." I nodded as a few more tears escaped my eyes. Alfie gave me a look asking if he could see the globe and I nodded as I handed it to him. "Where is everyone?"

"In the entertainment room. We're watching Bohemian Rhapsody." He said as he studied the globe.

"Where did you tell them you were going?"

"To the bathroom." He asked as he flicked through the pictures. "You knew all along that this was from him?"

"Yeah."

"Why'd you give it to me then?" He asked then handed me back the globe before looking at its stand. He saw the engravings and gasped. "Oh wow! I never saw this."

"I was too scared to accept it. This came with his greeting card where he admitted all his feelings for me. I was just really scared and I panicked." I admitted to my brother.

"You're really stupid sometimes, you know?" He chuckled as he handed me the stand.

"I know, thanks." I laughed as I assembled the globe back together.

"What makes it more annoying is when you're stupid when it come to Max."

"Okay, hold on now. I-"

"Charlie?" My mum's voice cut me off.

Alfie and I looked up at her in shock. Mum looked like she saw a ghost. I wasn't kidding when I said that no one expected me to be home yet. It's only a little past 11:30 PM and everyone expected I'd be home at around 2 or 3 AM if Summer and I didn't decide to sleep over at Max and Harvey's.

"Mum!" I gasped as Alfie and I shoved each other.

"What are you doing here? Why are you home so early? How did you get here?" She asked, slightly panicking.

"I uhm..." I stuttered as I stood up. "I walked home."

"You walked home?" Mum gasped, worry painting her whole face.

"Yeah, but mum don't worry, I'm fine. It's no big deal. I-"

"Where's Max, Summer and Harvey? Are they still at the formal?"

"Summer and Harvey are. I'm not too sure where Max is."

"What do you mean you're not too sure?" My mum was about to lose it and I was struggling to keep the tears in my eyes.

"They're fine, mum! Don't worry about them! It's really no big deal!" I exclaimed as I angrily laid down on Alfie's bed.

"Oh baby," My mum cooed as the bed dipped and I felt her sit beside me. "What really happened?"

I was debating on whether or not I should tell her what happened. I really had no energy left in me to talk or to explain anything that happened tonight. But I knew that if I bottled everything up and held it in a bit longer, I would explode and lose my mind. My mum always knew what to say, might as well tell her now.

"It's Max." I sighed as I sat up.

"It's about Max again, huh?" She smiled as she caressed my face.

I nodded and started crying. She smiled sadly and pulled me closer to her. We sat there in my brother's bed letting all of our emotions out. Mum held me and cooed me as I cried while Alfie rested a comforting hand on my knee. I held Max's tux to my chest and it felt so comforting to hold it close especially when it smelled so much like him.

Once I had composed myself, I had built up enough courage to tell my mum what happened tonight from our first dance to our conversation at the church. It hurt to tell them what happened. I felt so vulnerable and so weak. It was like telling a doctor your symptoms and being nervous to hear them say that you're diagnosed with something bad. But at the same time it felt good to finally let it all out. My brother hugged me the whole time because he didn't know what to say, and I appreciated that. Mum knew what to say and she made me feel better.

After our conversation, I went up to my room to change and wash up. I didn't join them in the entertainment room anymore since I was too tired already. I grabbed Max's tuxedo and hung it up in front of my bathroom door. As I laid there on my bed, I couldn't help but miss Max so much. I couldn't help but want him beside me to make it all better. I wanted him more than ever now, but I just broke his heart and I think we've reached a point of no return.

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I WATCHED AS Charlie exited the church. Every step she took was breaking a piece of my heart. Now that was the fall of the night Charlie and I have been so afraid of for the past weeks. I sat back down once she was out of sight and ran my hands down my face in annoyance.

"So this is what I get for falling in love with my best friend, huh? A constant excruciating heartbreak?" I said quietly as I looked up at the cross above the children practicing the Nativity scene.

What had just happened was like a more worse version of last Christmas. Sure, Charlie and I opened up a lot tonight, but somehow it just wasn't going anywhere good. Because if it had gone well, then why am I sitting all alone in a church at eleven o'clock when I could have been dancing the night away at a formal and maybe even having a first kiss with my best friend?

A first kiss with my best friend. That was why Charlie was crying the night I came over and played the piano at her place. That was why she constantly answer "nothing" every time I asked her what was wrong. That was why sometimes I would catch her blankly staring at me.

Harvey was right, Charlie does have feelings for me. My mind started spinning and my heart started racing. Charlie admitted that she likes me back—more so, she said she's been trying not to fall in love with me since last Christmas. With everything she told me tonight, it's so clear that she likes me just as much as I like her. She's just so denial about her feelings, it's the most Charlie thing to do.

But I can't help but think that I let her go. I let her go home without a proper ending to our conversation. Charlie and I were at an open end, and we were right back to where we were last Christmas—lost and confused. My heart started pounding faster and I could feel my anxiety kicking in. What if Charlie would never come back to me because I let her go? What if I lose Charlie for good this time and that was the last time we were ever going to talk? What if I just watched her walk out of my life forever? What if I lost my best friend?

"Max?" Harvey's voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

I turned around and saw him catching his breath with Summer right behind him with his tuxedo around her shoulders. Worry and panic were painted on their faces. I stood up and gave them a sad smile and a small shrug.

"I let her go." I said quietly as a tear rolled down my cheek.

Harvey sighed and caught me in a hug. Hugging my brother wasn't my favorite thing to do in this world but it was what I really needed right now. As he hugged me, I let the tears fall. Crying was another one of my not-so-favourite-things to do yet I cried silently and sobbed a little. Summer brushed the hair out of my eyes and rubbed a comforting hand on my back. I felt like a child in the presence of my brother and one of our best friends.

Truth be told, I never cried over Charlie no matter how many time or how badly she crushed my heart. This was the first time I was really crying over her. It was as if everything between her and I from last Christmas up until now finally caught up to me and ripped out every bit of my heart leaving me empty.

I pulled away from our hug and sat down, feeling weak in the knees and as if I would pass out in any minute. Summer laid a comforting hand on my leg while Harvey rubbed my back. I fiddled with my fingers as tried to compose myself.

"You two left these at the formal." Summer said quietly as she handed me mine and Charlie's crowns and sashes.

I only took Charlie's crown and ran my fingers through its details. I thought of how Charlie probably thought that you don't get anything from winning Winter King and Queen except for a plastic crown, a sash, and bragging rights. Then I remembered how Charlie and I waltzed in front of a whole crowd after we were crowned.

Charlie is always beautiful and I'm not just saying that because I like her. She's so beautiful inside and out, but the way she looked tonight blew my mind. I've never seen her look so beautiful. She glowed with confidence in her blue dress. Her hair that she usually cascaded down her shoulders was up and her face was intricately detailed with more makeup than she usually wore. She looked like a princess she always dreamed of being when we were little. She wasn't wearing a dress that showed all her curves nor was she wearing too much makeup like all the other girls did. Charlie came in one of the best versions of her unique self that I have ever seen. She looked so perfect and so beautiful that it was so hard to not fall deeper in love with her.

I finally understood how Charlie felt about us growing up so fast. Seeing Charlie transform into such a lovely young lady tonight made me realise how much we've all grown up. When we were younger, we'd come to church on Sunday mornings to hear mass, sometimes Harvey and I would serve as altar boys. But here we were now in a church, surrounded by all of our feelings and emotions, because our night at the Winter Formal had come crashing down. Harvey and I weren't little boys anymore who could run around the house and play all day. Charlie wasn't a little girl anymore who dreamed of being an astronaut princess who saved lives and rescued cats from trees. We were older now and things have changed drastically.

It scared me how time flew by so fast. Now I understand why it's so hard for Charlie to admit her feelings for me. She's afraid that us being together would change the only thing that remains constant in our lives that change in a blink of an eye—she's afraid of losing our friendship. But I'm afraid I just lost her for good this time and it was all because I caught feelings for her.

"Did I just lose her? Did I lose my best friend?" I asked quietly as I looked to Harvey and Summer for answers.

"No. No, honey, don't say that." Summer sighed as she stroked her hand down my head and gently brushed my cheek with the back of her hand. "Just give her some time, you know how she is. Charlie just needs time to process things sometimes."

"You didn't lose her, Max. You'll never lose her." Harvey said as he wrapped his arm around me. "I promise."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

right now let's all breath in *slowly inhale* and breath out *quickly exhale* now tell me how y'all feeling 😂 ik it's been a very eventful few days for us and a very eventful one night for max and charlie. now are we still glad we found out what happened last Christmas? 😂 anyways, i'll let you guys take a breather from all this bc i rlly need one too lol but i do highly suggest you start saying your goodbyes to max and charlie for the meantime 🥺👉🏼👈🏼 sending my love and hugs to everyone ❤️