XIX - need to forget

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"Yes!" you exclaimed. "I actually managed to ace the assignment we handed it last class!"

Rintaro smiled warmly. "Good job, [Name]. You're smart, so I figured you would. I did pretty well on it too, but it looks like you have me beat this time."

"Only because of all your help," you chuckled sheepishly. "I had to really try-hard this one. I can't let my grades slip too much. Retaking my classes really isn't an option for me."

"I'm sure you'll be fine. I can't remember you having ever failed a course."

"Well, that was before..."

Before I had the added pressure of dealing with the yakuza.

Rintaro gave you a curious look. "Before what?"

"Uh, nothing," you brushed off. "It just feels like the longer school drags on, the harder the whole thing gets. I'm just tired. But you're right. I'll make it through somehow."

"Remember not to work yourself too hard," he frowned. "I worry, you know."

"Haha. Yeah, I'll try not to," you said, as if that was actually an option for you.

"Well, I think we should celebrate," Rintaro smiled, standing up from his seat. "Midterms are right around the corner, and we've been doing great, so let's go get something yummy. We can get food and some dessert to share. I'll treat you."

"I'd feel bad," you protested. "I'm never the one who pays. Seriously, you don't have to."

"But I want to," he insisted, then proceeded to give you his most convincing puppy eyes. Goddammit, it was really hard to say no to a face like that.

You chuckled softly. "Okay, then. Thanks, Rintaro. As long as you don't mind, I'd really appreciate it."

With all that had transpired the other day involving Kaito, it was nice to know that you at least had one good friend that you could always rely on. It was a reminder that the number of people you surrounded yourself with really didn't make a difference. It was all about quality, not quantity. Guys like Rintaro were hard to come by, which is why you needed to do your damn best to keep him by your side.

The two of you walked rather closely together, so much so that your fingers would occasionally brush up against one another. Whenever that happened, you could feel a fluttery sensation building up in your chest, along with a warm flush to your cheeks. Rintaro was respectful of your boundaries, so ever since you'd told him you wanted to wait before jumping into a romantic relationship, he'd gone on acting the way he always did.

But that didn't mean that you'd forgotten about it. In moments like these especially, when you realized just how patient and sweet he was with you, it was rather hard to keep it off your mind. You wanted to have love in your life. You truly did. It was just scary not knowing what kind of things might happen if he got too deeply involved with you. You were concerned for his safety, his happiness, and you couldn't help but worry what might happen if you dated and ended up breaking apart.

You would lose the one close friend you had, one of the only people in your life who was helping you keep your sanity. Risking all that just seemed so incredibly terrifying.

Normally, you liked to listen to logic, but you realized that it was impossible to always control your emotions, no matter how hard you tried.

Maybe that was why your hand eventually drifted over towards Rintaro's and gripped onto it.

Almost immediately, Rintaro turned towards you, cheeks already bright pink. "[N-Name]?"

"Sorry," you blushed. "I just felt like holding your hand for a bit. Does it bother you?"

"Not at all!" he squeaked. "I-I love it! You can hold my hand whenever you want!"

Just like that, your feelings of awkwardness seemed to melt away, and you erupted into a fit of giggles. Rintaro looked flustered like always, which only made the whole thing that much funnier. You didn't let go of his hand, either. Instead, you intertwined your fingers and squeezed them tighter than before.

You walked like that for a while, hand in hand, with neither of you really saying much and just shyly peering over at each other. You had to admit, it felt nice. It was almost enough to forget what was really going on in your life.

Almost, but not quite.

"[Name]," a familiar voice called out. Immediately, you felt yourself scowl. You knew exactly who it was, and you had no intention of talking to him right now. Possibly ever, for that matter.

Rintaro appeared a bit confused, but he must have realized that you were deliberately ignoring the other person, because he quickly turned his head back towards you and pretended like nothing had happened.

It should've ended at that. But of course, it didn't.

"Please," Kaito called out again, jogging right up to your side. "I know you're upset, but I don't want to leave things the way they ended. Can we just talk one more time? I promise that I'll-"

He stopped mid-sentence. You weren't sure why, and curiosity got the better of you, so you peered over at him, only to see him staring blankly towards the ground. Actually, you quickly realized he wasn't staring at the ground, but rather at your hand. The hand that was still holding onto Rintaro's.

"What the fuck?" you heard him mutter to himself. You didn't bother humoring him with a response though, because you still had nothing to say to him.

Exasperated, you merely let out a sigh and tugged Rintaro along. "C'mon, let's keep walking. By the way, what was the place you had in mind? Have we been there before?"

"Uh, I..." Evidently, ignoring people didn't come easily to him. He kept glancing back towards Kaito, who you could tell was still following you, based on the sound of his footsteps. It was almost like you could feel his stare burning a goddamn hole in your back.

"Please," Kaito said again, and this time he latched his hand around your arm. "I just need a few moments. [Name], you can't really mean that this is the end. You said it yourself, we had fun together. We got along well. Why can't we still be friends? I didn't mean to deceive you. But I just didn't know how else I would get close to you. If I'd told you the truth, you wouldn't have ever allowed me to-"

"Excuse me," Rintaro interjected, and you noted that the tone of his voice was a lot different from earlier. He stepped in between you and Kaito and lightly pushed him back. "I don't know what's going on between the two of you, but can't you tell that you're making her uncomfortable? Please just leave. She doesn't want to talk to you."

You audibly exhaled. Thank god for Rintaro. He was telling him off respectfully, whereas you'd been just about ready to make a scene.

Kaito didn't seem to take too kindly to it, however, and a sneer quickly settled upon his face. "You again? You're always fucking butting in. This is between me and [Name], so you really have no business getting in the middle of it."

Rintaro still didn't falter. For all his timid nature, he could be surprisingly stern when he needed to be.

"You're the one was butting in," he remarked. "When you and [Name] were eating together at that restaurant, I left and gave the two of you your space. You clearly aren't willing to show me the same respect. Not to mention that you're just harassing her at this point. She doesn't want to talk to you, and you're still pestering her. Give it a break, before I actually get mad."

"Ha," Kaito scoffed. "What, now you're threatening me?"

"It isn't a threat. You just need to walk away and stop stirring shit up."

"Man, fuck you," Kaito spat. You saw it then, just for a moment, the glint of something manic in his eyes. Before you could really process what was happening, he'd already pushed Rintaro back and landed a punch to his face. It split Rintaro's lip open, made blood trickle down his chin. Worse yet was the sound. Heavy and dull, the likes of which made your stomach churn.

Rintaro groaned, but quickly collected himself and regained his balance. He looked angry now, as if he was about to throw a punch of his own, but before he could, you grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back.

"Cut it the fuck out!" you screamed at Kaito. The second the words left your mouth, his expression sank. He glanced down at his knuckles, lightly marred with blood, as if only just realizing what he'd done.

"I'm sorry-" he started.

"No," you glowered. "No, no, no. I'm sick and tired of your fucking excuses. What the hell is wrong with you? What are you starting a fight over? Why can't you get it through your skull that I just don't want anything to do with you anymore?"

Kaito's bottom lip trembled. He looked like he was close to tears, but fuck if you cared. This asshole had come out of nowhere and just punched your best friend in the face. If you weren't already angry, now you were easily furious.

Thanks to all the commotion you were making, students had stopped in their tracks and begun to form a small crowd to watch the fight. Some had even pulled out their phones. Because why call for help or try to intervene if you could stream it all on social media, right? Fucking sheeple.

As much as you hated all the unnecessary attention, Rintaro's wellbeing came first. "Are you okay?" you asked, gently patting the area by his lips, which had already begun to swell.

He tried to smile, but the cut on his lips probably made it difficult.

"I'm fine," he reassured. "Don't worry about me. Let's just get going. I don't wanna know what that guy's going to pull next."

You nodded once, then glanced back over your shoulder. Kaito was no longer staring down at his bloodied knuckles. His gaze was completely affixed to you, and his violet eyes were wide as saucers, sorrowful and desperate.

"Stay the fuck away from me," you gritted out. "If you don't, I'll call Ryu again, and I'm pretty sure he won't let you off as easy as last time."

Kaito tried to choke out a response, even extended his hand out towards you, but the words seemed to get lost in his throat.

You helped steady Rintaro as you walked in case he got dizzy. Since the fight was over, the crowd had already cleared. People went right back to their normal routines, as if nothing had ever happened at all.

Rintaro winced a bit. "Who's Ryu?"

"Hm? Oh... just a friend of mine. He can be pretty intimidating at times, so..."

"Ah, I see."

You hadn't meant to utter Ryu's name, but Rintaro clearly had his own shit to worry about right now anyways. His lip was puffing up like crazy. You needed to get him some first aid, preferably an ice pack as well.

You didn't know it, but Kaito was still standing there, watching you leave with a vacant expression.


...


Suffice it to say, you'd immediately blocked Kaito after the whole fiasco at school. He'd been messaging you every now and then following your altercation at the tattoo parlor, but perhaps you'd still been in denial about the whole thing, because you hadn't deleted his number right off the bat and opted to ignore him instead.

The second he decided to get violent, however, all your hesitations completely melted away. And perhaps it wasn't completely realistic to think that you'd never run into him again-he was Ryu's cousin, for crying out loud-but at least for now, you wanted to completely forget about him.

It kind of sucked that you'd never get to see all the finalized pictures, though.

Ugh. The fact that I'm even thinking about that right now just goes to show how much he messed with my head...

Try as you might, it seemed like it would be difficult to get over Kaito right away. You were still hurt, betrayed, and honestly let down by what you'd thought could have been a really great friendship. God. Was it so much to ask that for once, just for once, you meet some less shitty people?

As if echoing your thoughts, Yuki greeted you with a smile. "Hey, [Name]. How've you been?"

You slowly unknit your brow. Well, maybe that wasn't completely fair. There were still some decent people that you could rely on, even if they were part of the yakuza themselves. Maybe you couldn't exactly tell them all your secrets, but it sure was better than nothing.

"I've had better weeks, that's for sure," you chuckled.

"Oh," he frowned. "Sorry to hear that. Did something happen?"

"Eh. Just some asshole that turned out to be a shitty friend. Don't worry about it. I know this kind of stuff happens to people all the time."

He dragged his chair closer to yours, as per his usual routine whenever you came into the office. "But I'm not like that, right?" he asked hopefully. "I'm not a bad friend, am I?"

"Of course not," you reassured. "How could you be? You and Hikaru are the only reason I feel somewhat comfortable around here."

"Aw. Only somewhat?"

"Yes, somewhat," you sighed, gesturing towards the other members in the room. Realistically, you knew that they wouldn't try anything so long as Ryu was telling them to keep their distance, but it definitely made you feel a lot better knowing that you at least had two other people in here that were on your side.

Yuki grinned. "Yeah, I guess that much is understandable. It sucks that Hikaru's desk is all the way over there. I can tell he gets jealous since I have more opportunities to talk to you while we're working. Well, I like being able to tease him over it, though."

He then nodded his head in the direction of the aforementioned male, with whom you almost immediately made eye contact. He took a long sip out of his coffee mug and nodded modestly in your direction. Jealous wasn't exactly the word you would've used to describe his expression. Bored sounded more like it.

"You're being ridiculous," he snorted. "That's just Hikaru's expression. He always looks like that. He's so stoic."

"Do you like stoic men?"

"Are you asking me what my type is?"

"Hm... maybe?"

You rolled your eyes at him. "I don't think I've ever had a type. As long as it's someone who knows how to be respectful and kind, I think there's plenty of room for all kinds of personalities."

"That sounds like you," Yuki hummed. "I know you're not shallow, so you'd probably give most people an honest chance. Do you want to know what my type is?"

"Do I win a prize if I guess right?"

"Sure, why not."

"Alright, let's see," you huffed, bringing your index finger to your lips. "You're pretty outspoken and friendly, so... I guess you might be interested in someone with similar qualities? Someone you can joke around with and stuff. Am I on the right track?"

"Sort of," he smiled. "The answer is pretty obvious, if you think about it."

"Really?"

"Yep. I actually like someone right now. And you know her really well."

Well, that was definitely a surprise. The only other women you'd met that were affiliated with the yakuza were the girls from the hostess club, and you were hardly close to most of them. The only one you really knew that well was Ekaterina, but she already had a boyfriend, and Yuki definitely knew that.

Unless he meant...

"Me?" you half-chuckled. "Is that what you were getting at?"

"Yes, you!" Yuki beamed, leaning over to loosely drape his arms around your shoulders. "You're nice and fun, and you're the prettiest girl here!"

"I'm the only girl here, Yuki."

"Still the prettiest."

You giggled in spite of yourself, affectionately tousling his fluffy golden locks. He blushed a bit, but quickly pulled away before anyone else could see what the two of you were doing.

Yeah, it could be worse. There are still people in my life who care about me.

Work went by rather quickly nowadays, mostly because you'd gotten used to all your usual tasks and having Yuki to chat with helped pass the time faster. During little coffee breaks, Hikaru would also make his way over towards your desk, and you had the chance to catch up with him as well.

Sometime near the end of the workday, Ryu came out of his private office and walked right up to you with a rather enthusiastic smile on his lips.

"Hello," you frowned. "Is there anything I can help you with... sir?"

You figured he'd state his business and then be on his way, but to your immense surprise, he pulled up one of the extra chairs and sat down right next to you.

"Again with the sir," he chuckled. "Like I said before, I prefer it if you call me by my name. And no, there wasn't anything in particular. I decided to stop by for a minute and see how you're doing. Today's been a rather busy day. How have you been coping?"

"Everything's fine. I would say I'm making pretty good time. I can get a head start on the paperwork marked for tomorrow, if you'd like."

"No, no. I have no intention of pushing you too hard," he reassured. "It's important that you feel comfortable."

Uh... since when?

Considering the whole reason he'd kidnapped you was so that he could work you to the bone, you found his statement a little contradictory. But then again, he'd ceased acting logically a long time ago. Rather than complain about it, it was nice he was beginning to treat you more humanely.

"Yes, I'm doing great," you smiled. "This much work is no problem for me. So, there's really no need to worry. I'm sure you're busy enough without having to check in on me."

"Aren't you sweet?" Ryu cooed, all but making heart eyes at you. He slung an arm around your waist and happily pressed his lips against your cheek, making you flush all over. People were watching, of course. They were watching with evident distaste, no doubt wondering what in the hell their boss was doing, smooching you without so much as a care in the world.

You considered protesting, because it was more than just embarrassing-it was concerning the way everyone was glaring in your direction. Their eyes were ruthless and accusing. They probably thought you were a thorn in the group's side that made their leader do stupid, reckless things.

But you didn't protest, because however much they hated you wouldn't even compare to how angry Ryu would get if you refused him.

Instead, you just sat there, all the blood having rushed to your face, while Ryu repeatedly peppered your cheeks with kisses.

"Ah, that was a good break," he eventually said, and you could feel your entire body sagging with relief when he finally stood up and stepped away from your desk. "Just a bit longer for today, [Name]. I'll be done soon as well, and then we can go home together."

Ryu gave you one last smile before heading back inside his office. The judgmental looks didn't clear right away, though. They all stared at you for a good while, some of them even muttering all sorts of things under their breath. And you were fairly confident that neither of those things were particularly flattering.

But there was really no point in caring about what they thought of you. So long as you remained in Ryu's favor, you might as well be untouchable. Besides, you had friends here that treated you with respect, and that was all that mattered.

"Finally, he's gone," you chuckled softly, glancing back towards your desk neighbor.

For some reason, he was looking at you practically the same as all the others had.

"Yuki?" you frowned. "Is everything okay?"

It was really unsettling, because it was the closest to angry you'd ever seen him look. The contrast between his usual, chipper demeanor made it that much more apparent.

"Why do

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