{𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 0.5}
ALL THE TIME

"Such a face..hides so much pain.."
- 𝐮.𝐤

✾

I GAVE CHRIS HER SPACE only to wake up the next morning revealing that she went back to Los Angeles . I wanted to punch the wall but I knew why I was doing what I was doing Chris didn't. I just sat  there on the couch in my office complaining about the fact that I just screwed up any chance of Chris and I but my family needs me to marry. There was a loud bang on my office door. I jumped up only to have it fly open, on the other side was an emotionally pissed off izzy. I was ready to be scorned.

"𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐋 𝐃𝐈𝐃 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐃𝐎 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐂?!" She shouted like there was no tomorrow.

I simply rolled my eyes and sat straight up on the couch . "Izzy I don't have time for this." I spat. "Oh big brother you just screwed up big time" I jumped up and walked towards her "𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐃𝐎𝐍𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐊 𝐈 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓!! 𝐈 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐃 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘 𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄!! 𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐆𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐍 𝐔𝐏 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐆𝐆!!"
I shouted loud enough that the whole institute heard me but could care less. I walked back over to the couch just to have Izzy take a seat beside me and she wrapped her arms around my shoulder and took me in a small embrace. I eventually relax my tense and angry body and took in the hug.

I've never been selfish once...never done anything for myself. Always putting this family first, taking the blame for Izzy and Jace, never living for myself. Followed the rules not making mistakes "that's not what the clave expects of Lightwoods." Something I've been told my whole life.

"It's going to be okay..We'll figure it out, we always do" Izzy reassures with her other hand caressing my other shoulder. "You'll get her back"

"I have to marry Lydia for the Lightwood name...I think I could eventually be happy with her." Alec desperately tries to convince himself.

"You won't ever be happy with Lydia..because you're in love with Chris."

✾

Chris has been gone for weeks now and I've missed her more than words can describe..all this wedding stuff is overwhelming and she's the only one I would talk to about it but I know she hates me and I don't blame her. Lydia came towards my office door and knocked.

"Hey, your mom thinks we should go to each institute and invite the heads  to the wedding now" She states. "Yea, yea let's go" I agreed hoping the hesitation in my voice was not noticed. Wonderful..Magnus has a portal waiting Los Angeles is up first".

As Lydia said we'd be going to the Los Angela's institute I felt something in me excited to see Chris again just to talk to her. But another part of me racked with guilt. I knew seeing me with Lydia who is now my fiancé would hurt her and that is far from what I want.

"Isn't it run by the BlackThorns..well Christina BlackThorn?" She asked. "Yes, Christina's taken over after her father Christopher BlackThorn..she quite the shadowhunter."

Lydia and I both walked towards the front of the institute where Magnus was waiting with a portal. I felt all the dirty looks he was giving me as I walked through.

✾

I've been running the institute for weeks. Izzy has been calling me but I can't seem to answer. I don't want to talk about Alec who was calling nonstop but just like what I thought we had they stopped. I've been in a meeting with an old friend, Logan Carstair, catching up. When I got a knock at my office door it was my assistant kimmy.

"Christina there's a Lydia Branwell and an Alec Lightwood here with wedding invites"

As she said those words I felt a sharp pain in my heart. The guy I was in love with was marrying someone else. For a second I forgot everything.. Remembering love is the distraction that leaves you hurt and lost..just look at my mother now. I gathered up the courage to stand up from my desk, put back on my heels and strutted down to where they were.

I approached them at the opening of the portal. Their stud Alec In his infamous black leather jacket, black jeans and a blue button up shirt standing beside him was a blonde with a high ponytail in a skirt.

"Hi, you must be Christina BlackThorn right?" The blonde questioned with a bright smile flashing.

"Yes, the one and only" I expressed with a slight smile. I felt Alec brown eyes staring me down which I tried so hard to avoid.

"Well I'm Lydia Barnwell and this is my fiancé Alec Lightwood." She informed me reaching out her hand for me to shake. "We've met." I assure without looking at Alec and shaking Lydia's hand.

"Really? Where?" She asked looking at Alec then back at me. Before I could say anything Alec started.

"She shadowed me...learning how to run her own institute "He informed his new fiancé looking me in the eye, I could help but lock in the gaze.

"Oh, well your institute looks to be running quite well" She complimented looking around.

"Why thank you" I thanked while my eyes were locked on Alec's. I looked back a Lydia who was already looking at me with a small smile Lydia reached her hand up and caught a fire message and handed it to me it read;

"I will mark my calendar," I state.

"We would love it if you joined us," Lydia reasoned with a smile. I simply gave her one in return.I don't know if she loved Alec or if he even loved her but she seems to   want this wedding.

"Alright well we've got more invitations to give out I really do hope to see you there" Lydia insisted walking towards the portal waiting for Alec to join her.

"We need to talk," he stated.

"I don't believe we have anything to discuss" I spat walking off but not before I felt someone pulling my wrist back and spinning me back around.

"Chris can you just please just talk to me" he whispered.

"Shouldn't you be looking for the cup?" I said.

"I don't care about that right," He stated. Looking at me with those deep brown eyes I felt myself find that warmth I did when we first met. I quickly looked away and looked over at Lydia who was still waiting on Alec. I looked back at him.

"You should go, your fiancé is waiting." I stated softly.

He rolled his eyes "just tell me this, do you think about''us ''?''

"Hurts when I remember..and I never wanna feel it again.. Alec."