Everything was perfect.

Not many believe that the word perfect can be put into physical terms, and yet, it is so easy for me when thinking about how it was. How everything was before my life filled with tragedy and loss began.

I was born into a respected family. I wouldn't say we were wealthy, but we weren't exactly poor either. Our lives were discreet, hidden among so many others in a small town. A town filled with innocents, a town filled with good people. It was small, but not too big. The people were wonderful, yet they still kept their privacy.

Nothing was worth worrying about.

Well...

Not for a young child, at least.

My innocence binded me for so long, that when it came to the point I had to let it go, hell, it almost drove me mad.

I could remember everything so vividly, so beautifully... The smoke that slipped from the chimneys, the warm aroma of steamed rice after a long day of hard work, the small snowflakes that fell from the clouded sky and glided with the breeze before gently gliding and laying themselves on my unbothered form. The magical tinge to the air as the sun shone through the gaps in the grey clouds while my breath became visible in the chilled air. Let's not forget the footprints that crunched in the snow as children chased one another around while others celebrated the cool winters that scoured the town all year-round by building snowmen or crafting snow angels.

The chilled air that nipped at my flesh as the scarf around my neck danced behind me when I cried out in happiness, my brothers and sisters chasing me up the path of our home surrounded by the town. My locks flowing behind me as I watched my mother emerge from the front door, holding my brother in her arms, a soft look in her eyes as she watched us dance around the town.

We were safe. We were satisfied. We were happy. We were free.

That was all we cared about at that moment, and there were no signs, no opportunities, to tell us to do anything different.

That was the problem. There were some, we just refused to see them.

The shadows that lingered longer than they should've. The whispers prancing around town, getting louder with each passing day. The snow that soon became unbearable to a mere child in the mountains. The chilled days that turned insufferable and numbing nights far too quickly.

Maybe we did see them. Maybe we did understand something was going to happen. Maybe I was just too oblivious to understand the warnings sent to us from early on.

Maybe I was just too pure to comprehend what my parents did long before anyone else.

I was the third youngest, the middle child, if you would, out of six of us. Each and Every one of us were exactly how our parents raised us to be, disciplined, happy, free, understanding of the world. And yet...we were still too blind.

We were still just children, after all.

"Oka-San!"

I cried, my young voice tearing through the silence of the morning as the sun's rays just barely peeked over the mountainous horizon. The chilled air nipped at my flesh, and the constant numbness in my fingers continued, even through my thick gloves that graced over my hands.

My mother groaned, turning over in her bed as she smiled beneath her messy hair. "..What's the matter...?" She managed to groggle out, her voice hoarse and thick as she released a yawn. "What are you doing up so early..? Where's your father.."

She was a beautiful woman. Her features were so soft and loving, yet they were hard enough to make her seem heavenly, as though she had fallen from the skies on purpose, just to explore such a world as this. Her eyes were my favourite, how their (e/c) reflected all the love and purity in the world. How they gazed upon each of us like they were in a silent daze of pure joy. How the light in her eyes shifted with every individual emotion that slipped past her features.

What a beautiful soul.

I puffed out my rosy cheeks, my brows furrowing as I rushed to the other side of her bed, where she had just turned. "He's out collecting wood!" I grinned, happy that I could be of at least some use in this house. "But never mind that..!" I shook my head climbing onto the bed so I was crouched just beside her form. "Haven't you heard? The markets opening today!"

Ah yes, the market, filled with foreign and local goods of all kinds. The market, filled with so many brilliant fragrances and plentiful foods of all shapes and sizes. The market, where vendors expressed their creativity in an attempt to grow their small business. The market, which was filled with people willing to give away their goods for free if you were the first person to visit them as soon as they opened.

"You promised you would take me as soon as the sun rose!" I shook her shoulders, my lips forming into a pout before I pointed to the window. "And look, the sun's just over the mauninns!" The woman chuckled silently to herself, revealing her beautiful eyes as she tiredly looked up at me.

"They're called 'Mountains', dear."

I paused.

My mouth parted.

I blinked.

My teeth gritted and before I knew it, I was gently punching her arm. "W-well, never mind what they're called- we need to go, and we need to go now!" A small boush crept up my cheeks from pure embarrassment, my punches slowly becoming less forceful when my arms began to ache.

The woman only shook her head before moving her arm away from me, and before I knew it, she had engulfed me in her grasp, holding me tight to her chest, despite my struggles and grunts of displeasure. "Oh, but can't I just have a moment more..?!" She dramatically exclaimed, squeezing my figure to her chest.

I grunted, trying to push away from her grasp, but to no avail. "Oka-saaan!" I cried, clutching my eyes tightly.

"Oh, come on!! Being an adult is harder than it looks.." She pouted playfully, hiding a small smile behind her facade. "Especially when I have to deal with you and those siblings of yours..." My cries were muffled against her form as she dramatically folded her head back.

I gasped as she began to giggle to herself. "H-hey! That's not fair..!"

"Oh the responsibility...! It wounds me so..!"

"Ooooka-saaaaaaaan-"

"You're lucky you're so cute, otherwise I would be carried away by some demon by now..."

A fake tear slipped from her eyes as she leaned down to bury her face into my hair, closing her eyes and savouring my warmth. I had stopped struggling long ago, only being able to accept my fate in the arms of my mother. "Damnit, why do you have to be so perfect..." she groaned into my hair.

I could feel her smile.

The chilled air entered my lungs as the birds continued their sweet morning harmony. The long blades of green grass held small flakes of snow at their tips as they swayed in the winter breeze, the calm atmosphere blending wonderfully with the rising sun as the beams of light slowly rose up the walls. The rustling of leaves moving with the wind, that grew from large tree limbs, tuned perfectly with the calm cackling of the fire as the woman held me, if possible, closer.

"Oka-san?"

I interrupted the calm silence held between the two of us, practically slicing through it using a thick blade crafted by masters of their work.

"Yes, dear?"

"Can we leave now?"

She gasped, pushing me gently away from her as she dramatically widened her eyes until they were as big as saucers. "You..!" She gritted her teeth, now obviously fully awake. "You little..!" She quietly exclaimed, pouting her lips as she frowned playfully. She scoffed, closing her eyes just like before as I watched with a tilted head. "I guess I did promise, didn't I?" Sighing, the mother reopened her eyes and lovingly stared down at her child with a smile crafted by the angels above. "I guess we should, shouldn't we?"

I grinned, pushing away from her so I slipped off the bed as she sat up, rubbing her eyes which held small eyebags. I grinned, the gaps in my teeth showing as the sun's warmth finally reached my eyes and my pupils reflected all of the golds and honeys the morning had to bring. "Thank you, Oka-san! I promise you won't regret it!"

She sighed, swinging her legs off the bed as she smiled gently. "I hope I don't.. especially when I have to wake up this early..." a deadpan spread across her features as she watched me giggle and punch my arm in the air, stars forming in my eyes just thinking about all of the foods and objects.

The soups, the honeys, the chocolate, the cute jumpers and keychains, all of the wonderful goods...

It would bring anyone into a fit of excitement, especially when they remember the sweet scent of the chocolate pastries, the smoke that swung through the air as you walked past a stone cooker, the incredible atmosphere created by the bustling people, who were ever so kind...

Let's not forget the chilled snow that made everything stream together so perfectly...

Ofcourse, my siblings would tag along later, once they were all awake, but for now, it would be just me and Oka-san. It was rare to get any alone time with her due to the constant demands of everyone around you, wanting her assistance, or even yours, as the day goes on. She spent most of her time taking care of Sora, the youngest of us, only born a year back.

There were six of us.

The eldest, Isamu, who was about fourteen years old.

The second child, Ichika, who had just turned ten.

The third child, Me, who was around about nine years of age.

The fourth child, Yua, who was going to turn seven in one or two months.

The fifth child, Hayato, who had just turned five.

And finally, Sora, who was only one years old.

Ofcourse, when the two of us went out, Sora and Hayato would be taken care of by the older ones.

Everything about all of us just clicked. We rarely had arguments, and the ones we did have were all ones which had been jokes. We were there for one another when others weren't, and we were told that we were the only people we could ever trust, by our father of course. We took those words to heart, and now look at us, practically inseparable.

Onto my father, he was a great man. He was respected by everyone around him, even the town's elders looked up to him.

He was handsome, ever so loving, selfless, and most of all, courageous.

Whenever any of us were scared, whenever any of us got into trouble with a villager down the road, he would always deal with it. He would always secure our safety above anybody else's.

That was what made him such a lovely person.

We didn't see much of him anymore, though. He was far too busy, with the rising taxes, along with the constant threat of winter, his workload piled up without stop, and soon his time with us narrowed until it was small conversations in the mornings or the evenings.

It was only a few years ago did he come up with a rule he likes to call, 'father, child, bonding time', where when we reached the age of ten, he would teach us how to hold a blade in order for what he says to be 'protection'. We went along with it without question, and by the time I reached nine, he was already taking on another student, besides Isamu, Ichika.

He was a perfect man. Good looking, kind, wise, calm, smart, understanding.

I aspired to be just like him, one day.

I wanted to protect the things I loved, just like him. I wanted to be respected for my calm yet mysterious demeanor. I wanted to be kind to those around me, even strangers.

I wanted to be just like him when I was older.

However, that was proven difficult, very soon.

The day of the market. That was the day it began it all. That fateful day.

I'd like to say I don't regret anything, and I don't, but...

I wish I hadn't wanted to go so desperately.

Maybe then, I would have been able to live a happy life.

Maybe then, I could've saved everyone...

Maybe then..I could have saved myself...

"Come on, oka-san! We're almost there!" My voice called along the streets, likely waking everyone we passed from their calm slumber. I couldn't help it. I was so joyful, so purely excited for what the day had to bring, so overjoyed about the things I would be able to try in this one day alone!

I was a child bursting with so much unneeded energy as my mother grasped my hand while I dragged her along the empty streets. The tiny snowflakes slipping from the clouds and creating piles along the streets and paths, landing on roofs, sliding into corners, and smoothing atop my head.

"(Y/N)...!" My mother called out, a smile over her features as a bead of sweat ran down the side of her face. All she could do was chuckle as she stumbled down the streets, being towed along by a child...a child that she loved ever so much.

It was just up this hill, covered in ice and snow that made everything seem so utterly pure, it was as though you were gazing into the eyes of a newborn, so cute, so misunderstanding of the world. Only seeing it through the youngest of gazes that would all result in nothing once exposed to the cruelty this world held.

I was panting, but I still held so much energy. My eyes were bursting with stars and my sights only saw what was right in front of me, even as my mother stumbled behind me, attempting to keep a hold of my hand as I dragged her along like an excited little puppy.

I turned to look back at her, pausing only for a moment to let her catch up to me. I lifted my pointer finger over the small hill as I grinned wider, the snow making me seem as innocent as a small kitten in the safety and warmth of its new home. "It's just over here!"

She nodded, moving to grip my hand tighter before she pulled me to her side and poked my nose with a smile. "Yes, and you are not leaving my side, no matter how excited you are, you little gremlin.." I recoiled and she instead moved to ruffle my hair lovingly. "Your siblings should be meeting us here in an hour or so, once everything is sorted out back at the house. You got that?" She tilted her head, leaning forward to give my forehead a small peck.

I swatted her hand away, wiping away the kiss with a small puff of my cheeks. "Yeah, yeah, I get it..." I managed to grumble out, shaking my head as she giggled to herself, standing tall In the snow filled atmosphere.

The snowflakes fell and slipped past her features, managing to frame her face perfectly as the cloudy skies let a few beams of sun slip past their veil, allowing the beams to shine behind her. She looked heavenly, to me at least.

I mean, she had always looked like an angel from her hued (h/c) hair, to her bright (e/c) eyes, and her calming features that managed to reflect everything so greatly. She was the sun in my life. Even though I loved my siblings and my father so very much, she could never be placed second. She had sacrificed so much for us all and the silent respect I hold for her is beyond words a small child could ever express properly..

"Good, let's go, then!"

༶•┈┈⛧┈♛ ♛┈⛧┈┈•༶

I always wanted a purpose.

Even from a young age I could never sit still because I wanted to fit in, to be able to feel some sort of accomplishment in this small thing we call life.

I had my entire future planned ahead of me, and I would willingly follow it if that meant I could fully understand what the word 'purpose' truly meant.

Did it mean why we were put on this earth to begin with? Is it something to do with the people around us? Maybe it's our future that we chose to follow, but instead we're met with cruelty and sadness instead of what we were initially expecting..

The thing is, I didn't know. I may never know. But that isn't the point.

My entire life has been based around one thing, and one thing alone. Nothing could have prevented that because it was already in place before I was born.

Generation after generation was produced for the same purpose. All of us were just pawns in a large game of chess that seemed as though it would never end, that no one would win and the continuous, constant motif of death and destruction would continue far beyond any sights, even from the wisest men and women.

My role in this story is no less than a bug in a forest, but that doesn't mean I don't have a part to play, a role to fulfill to gain my purpose. The one my ancestors died over, the one I was destined to have before my great grandparents were even conceived.

The purpose I would never let go of.

It was who I am. Who I was raised to become in a world filled with bloodthirsty monsters who only wanted to see my crimson leek to the ground as my corpse became cold.

It was always a part of the script that I had to be in danger constantly for me to grow into the person I am today.

A young child raised in conditions no adult could comprehend. That was my life for some time, and no, I wouldn't change a thing about it, because that is the reason I am able to survive today. That is the reason I have become the person I am today.

I hold no regrets.

Even after the ones I have slaughtered, the lives I have ruined, the pain I have endured, the suffering others went through In order to keep my body breathing. I do not hold an ounce of empathy.

Just like me, they are but fish in the sea. Yes, they have but a small life in the grand scheme of things, but their actions can hold more consequences than anyone could ever imagine. Even one small act of arrogance to the wrong person could shape the entire world and society as we know it.

Yes, it may sound a bit much when upfront about it, but it's true. I've seen it far too many times to consider it to be a mere coincidence.

I've seen the purest of people shaped into the type they hated most just because they were at the wrong place at the wrong time, or even just because they were told the wrong lies.

Our effect on others is more prominent than anyone would think.

All small things add up to a bigger picture, or in my case, a bigger evil.

The type of evil that feeds on people's sins. Their lust, their greed, their pride, their hatred, their envy...all of it can be shaped into something bigger with the right words and the wrong actions, that will forever be etched into the victims mind.

My friends- my family- have fallen for this trap too many times over, and that resulted in no less of their deaths. I had to learn- adapt-